A request to people who are not LGBT+

[vexnir]

yall i want some help.
so my friend, lets call him adam, is trans.

Oh god, that sounds exactly like me. That's my name too. I am sorry to hear about your friend's struggle.

Anyway, good thread.

It's often a very complicated situation like others said, cutting ties is not easy and nor is anything else. Parents aren't always accepting, some need time. It can be a big thing for all of the parties involved.

 

[Saylor]

Well said. It was pretty easy for me to come out to my friends, but it was hard to do so with my mom and it really took me a while before I decided I wanted to. She made it seem like she was aware of my sexuality shortly after I discovered it myself, and that made me feel like I could be open to her about it, but at the same time I felt that there was some kind of hostility between us every time it came up and that's what made me hesitant, because I think sometimes you have to be careful when it comes to your parents. I still lived with my mom and depended on her to an extent, so I was worried about what would happen to me and my relationship with her if she had a negative reaction about it. Originally she said that she'd be fine with whatever my sexuality is, but ever since I came out I feel like there's been a rift in our relationship, we argued about it often and she questioned it and it's like now that she actually knows about it, she's stopped being okay with it. It's kind of forced me to be independent because since we haven't been getting along she's told me she no longer wants me to live with her, which is okay, but I just really hate the way that our relationship went and I wish I didn't feel like I was disappointing her or something. It's also made me feel like I should stay closeted to the rest of my family out of fear that they'd react negatively too.

I feel really fortunate, though, that I have friends who were much more accepting about it. I think most of them kind of became aware of my sexuality as well and they made sure to make it clear to me that they'd be okay with it, and that really helped me feel better about coming out to them, especially after what was happening between my mom and I. It really hurts a lot to feel like someone you care about so much isn't totally accepting of who you are, but having friends who let me know they were accepting helped.

 

[Ghost Soda]

Well, let me explain what I posted again in that case. I think the negative effects of putting extra attention to the differences between these kind of groups will be higher than the positive effects. Instead of treating them like different people, why don't we just not care about the differences and accept them as a similar human being? I think you're by giving extra attention to it making people more aware of the fact that there are (bigger) differences which I can imagine might actually make people switch their opinion negatively.

I doubt people who are already not tolerant towards LGBT+ people will change their opinion to the positive side when they see others publicly announce they're pro LGBT+. This is the group that it's all about and the only way you can get that these people will become more tolerant towards the LGBT+ community, is by letting them see that that the differences aren't as big and that these people deserve to be treated like similar human being. These people have the twistes image that these differences are way higher than they are and the last thing you need is put extra attention to these differences.

I didn't state anywhere that I think it's healthy that the LGBT+ is hated, but 100% acceptance by society is simply impossible and therefore, LGBT+ is better of living their lifes instead of letting the percentage that isn't acceptable towards them hold them back. That's what I meant to express.

I rather not go down the dirty road you seem to be going down and generalize a whole bunch of religious people. That's what I see when I read your last paragraph, but tell me if I'm wrong. Also, I don't see why that or the Orlando shooting would add something meaningful to your argument but maybe you could elaborate on the usage of those examples in your argument a bit? I'm fully aware of the fact that in some places on Earth, a thing like holding hands might not be very safe.

All I can really say is that I think putting extra attention on these differences is going to spread more hate for the LGBT+ community which will also negetively effect any of the positive effects of highlighting these differences in the first place. The last thing I want is for the LGBT+ community to pay so much attention to the differences between them and other that they will segregate from society. That's only going to bring more trouble.

In reaction to your added last paragraph. I'm not natively English and didn't know there were gender neutral pronouns in the English language. They do not excist in my language.

or, or! instead of telling us to keep who we are to ourselves so homophobes will like us, maybe homophobes should keep their bigotry to themselves?

if the only way for someone to accept lgbt is by pretending we don't exist, that's on them not us.

 

[Red Cat]

It's so sad that people's parents can't just accept their own children for who they are. Like there are parents who are okay with their kids drinking, doing drugs, stealing stuff, damaging property, skipping school, etc., but god forbid their kid is gay, lesbian, or transgender and all of the sudden they're a total disappointment and failure. Being LGBT isn't a choice, but being a total ignorant a**hole parent is.

 

[Aali]

In the words of Onision, "Homophobia is for ignorant stupid people and you can't let it bother you otherwise they kinda win, don't they? What I'm saying is if you see someone who is obviously homopbic yoou shouldnt take their actions to heart because that's only giving them more power. You're diffrent from them and not generic and boring and stupid like they are."

I honestly think this relates to transphobia as well.

Y'all just keep being you, ok? <3

 

[Buttonsy]

In the words of Onision, "Homophobia is for ignorant stupid people and you can't let it bother you otherwise they kinda win, don't they? What I'm saying is if you see someone who is obviously homopbic yoou shouldnt take their actions to heart because that's only giving them more power. You're diffrent from them and not generic and boring and stupid like they are."

I honestly think this relates to transphobia as well.

Y'all just keep being you, ok? <3

While I thank you for the positive wishes, I want to keep this thread a safe place for LGBT+ people, and Onision is an immensely transphobic person, so I'd rather not discuss him here.

 

[Aali]

While I thank you for the positive wishes, I want to keep this thread a safe place for LGBT+ people, and Onision is an immensely transphobic person, so I'd rather not discuss him here.

He is not transphobic...if you look up "Onison trans" a bunch of vids pop up like "10 things I hate about transphobic people" and "Why being trans is wrong" which I know the title sound bad, but he actually defends transgender people in the video.

 

[Buttonsy]

He is not transphobic...if you look up "Onison trans" a bunch of vids pop up like "10 things I hate about transphobic people" and "Why being trans is wrong" which I know the title sound bad, but he actually defends transgender people in the video.

I know that he's made those videos, but if I said something really racist and then made a video called "top 10 reasons why I'm not racist", it wouldn't make me not racist, the same applies here. He's said some really transphobic stuff. I'm not gonna post exactly what here because I feel like it's too hateful or possibly too obscene for the board, but it's not really that difficult to Google Onision's transphobia and find plenty of examples if you are curious.

 

[Aestivate]

Pretending that LGBT+ people don't exist and that we aren't hated isn't going to make hatred go away, it'll just make it so that when LGBT+ people are hurt, no one will care. And like I said, you saying you are pro-LGBT+ is about letting anyone in your life who is closeted know that you are a safe person to come out to, not to change your bigoted friends opinions.

The reason I brought up the Orlando stuff is because that's what hatred of LGBT+ people leads to. This isn't just about getting 100% acceptance, this is about making sure that people don't die, which they are. And I never started bashing religion? You are the one that said that some people don't agree with stuff because of their religions. I think that it's a lot closer to religion bashing to imply that some religions are inherently bigoted. What I said was that there aren't bigoted beliefs about LGBT+ people that can be backed up by religion, because religious texts that people think validate bigoted beliefs are actually taken out of context, or mistranslated, and so no one can justify being anti-LGBT+ with religion. That's not anti-religious at all, it's anti-bigotry, and implying that religions are inherently bigoted is really not cool, especially since there are LGBT+ religious people.

I'm too tired to go any more in-depth than that, so hopefully what I said makes sense, but pretending that there aren't differences between LGBT+ people and cisgender/straight people is not going to make people less bigoted. It's not about pretending there aren't differences, it's about teaching that being different doesn't make someone bad.

I don't think me responding to you another time is going to help. You clearly interpertend what I said completely different. I recommend you to read my posts again and have a look at what I'm actually saying and how you respond to that. I'm glad other people see the logica in my post.

 

[Aali]

I know that he's made those videos, but if I said something really racist and then made a video called "top 10 reasons why I'm not racist", it wouldn't make me not racist, the same applies here. He's said some really transphobic stuff. I'm not gonna post exactly what here because I feel like it's too hateful or possibly too obscene for the board, but it's not really that difficult to Google Onision's transphobia and find plenty of examples if you are curious.

Ok. I'm not gonna try to argue or start a fight because I don't want this to get closed.

But I've been watching Onision forever and I know he's not transphobic

I hope you all have a wonderful day

 

[Bunnilla]

A request to people who are LGBT+, get a pet, they sometimes know how you're feeling, and will make you feel better about yourself c: ^?^

 

[Aali]

OK, totally not hating on trans people. But I never understood when trans people flipped out when people misgendered them on accident. I don't mean friends or family, coworkers, etc. I mean like total strangers. I've heard and seen vidoes and stories of trans people flipping out on total strangers who called them mam or sir or something along those lines. I mean, they're a stranger! They don't know you or your life story. I mean if they knew you and did it on purpose that's one thing, but someone who doesn't know you and says it on accident doesn't deserve it.

Again not hating on trans and I know not all trans people do this, it's just something I've noticed

 

[visibleghost]

^ get what u mean, ppl shouldnt scream at strangers for making a miss like that. but at the same time it can get reallllly tiring to be misgendered all the time. tho most ppl dont lash out from being misgendered once by a stranger..,,,.

 

[Fleshy]

OK, totally not hating on trans people. But I never understood when trans people flipped out when people misgendered them on accident. I don't mean friends or family, coworkers, etc. I mean like total strangers. I've heard and seen vidoes and stories of trans people flipping out on total strangers who called them mam or sir or something along those lines. I mean, they're a stranger! They don't know you or your life story. I mean if they knew you and did it on purpose that's one thing, but someone who doesn't know you and says it on accident doesn't deserve it.

Again not hating on trans and I know not all trans people do this, it's just something I've noticed

I don't say anything to strangers when I'm misgendered, I don't really see the point in it, I don't blame them either. They only say what they see and don't mean anything bad by it, of course it hurts but I won't say anything.

I don't condone anger or violence either but honestly it might seem like something little but being misgendered really hurts like ****, specially if you've been getting it over and over for ages, it's hard to take and it's super upsetting for most trans people, and that manifests in anger in some people (of course that isn't right, but it does). I honestly haven't seen that happen many times though, most trans people are actually pretty calm about it and will simply correct them nicely or just leave it. So I'm not really sure how you've seen it happen a lot? Trans people are also often scared about being open in public so confrontation with a stranger is out of the question for most trans people...

 

[vexnir]

Yeah, it's not good to lash out at someone who had no idea. I hate when I hear about people doing that and then yelling "wahh transphobia!" Like, chill, how it could be transphobia when someone didn't even know.

I don't get misgendered that much out in the streets, though there are some places that do it, but frankly I just ride with the wind. It is annoying, yeah, but I am not going to befriend shop clerks nor do they hold big significance in my life, so I am not going to makea fuss correcting them, especially since transgenderism is something not a lot of people here know about or view it negatively.

Although, when a situation calls for it, such as going somewhere I will be sticking to (new school for example, and I think I've only gotten misgendered because of my earlier phone calls to them and my voice on phone is just eh) I will just politely correct people. No need to flip, really.

Also, somewhat unpopular opinion maybe, but I noticed that usually those people who throw huge tantrums for being misgendered by strangers are just attention seekers who flaunt their trans label and want to make the whole world know how special they are.