The out of context quotes thread

[VernalLapin]

“Ugh, don’t wast our time with your juvenile romance. Us adults have an important dinosaur-themed wedding to plan.”

 

[Yoshi155]

I’m a fool. The fans haven’t been cheering for me, they’ve been cheering at me.

 

[Yoshi155]

When will man learn that all races are equally inferior to robots?

 

[Yoshi155]

I wanna buy this franchise. How does $100,000 sound?

Forget it! We come to Earth to make-a pizza, not-a money.

No, Blek! Other way around.

Oh, right. Offer accepted.

 

[Yoshi155]

Today, I’ve personalized all of your meals. For example, Amy, you’re cute, so I baked you a pony.

 

[BobRocks20]

Be happy, lady, for you are like an honorable father.

 

[Yoshi155]

Wait, a pie with hobo-lifting aroma? Who baked it?

Helmut Spargel. He used to be the greatest chef ever.

His restaurant was so high tone, the only way to get reservations was to create a parallel universe where you already had reservations.

 

[Yoshi155]

My story’s a lot like yours, only more interesting ‘cause it involves robots.

 

[Midoriya]

"NO, DON'T SING!"

*he jumps on Taylor Swift*

*a few hours later*

"Sir, we're arresting you because you assaulted a professional singer."

"I didn't ASSAULT her, James. C'mon, man!"

"Look dude, we have video recordings of you saying 'turn into a grandma, Taylor Swift! turn into a grandma!'"

"That's only because I was trying to use my aging device from my backpack! I would never beat someone up!"

"Regardless, we're going to have to take you away, Mr. Schnickerdoodle."

*Mr. Schnickerdoodle is put into handcuffs as he's lead away*

 

[Yoshi155]

I would like to return your “ultimate belt.”

I see. Do you have a “receipt,” sir?

No, I do not have a receipt. I won it as a door prize at the Star Trek convention, although I find their choice of prize highly illogical as the average Trekker has no use for a medium sized belt.

 

[Midoriya]

"No worries! Glad it works for both of us. This episode brought to you by Flower Math. Flower Math, it's confusing."

"LMAO"

"felt like we were playing that one Mario Party minigame, where you have to like, choose the correct cup after they're switched around a ton."

"It definitely felt like it! I'm so sorry!"

"No worries, haha."

*from messaging Chibi.Hoshi on Discord

 

[Yoshi155]

You really think I could do it?

Well, I don’t know. Are you man enough to test every one of your limits?

Yes.

And are you man enough to throw a punch, should the opportunity arise?

Yes!

And are you man enough to give me a 60% cut?

YES!!!

I’ll take it.

Woo-hoo!

 

[Mr.Fox]

Seeee myyyy vest! See my vest! Made from real gorilla’s chest. Feel this sweater, there’s no better than authentic Irish Setter. See this hat? ‘Twas my cat! My eveningwear? Vampire bat! These white slippers are albino African endangered Rhino. Grizzly bear underwear. Turtle’s necks I’ve got my share, beret of Poodle on my noodle it shall rest. Try my Red Robin suit, it comes one breast or two! See my vest! See my vest! Seee my vest!

 

[Yoshi155]

Are you an angel?

Yes, Homer, I’m an angel. All us angels wear Farah slacks.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Ribbitt! Ribbitt!”
“I’m an Angel!”

 

[Yoshi155]

Just look at all this beautiful “foilage.”

It’s not “foilage,” Mom. It’s “foliage.” Foliage.

That’s what I said, “foilage.” It doesn’t take a “nucular” scientist to pronounce “foilage.”

 

[Yoshi155]

I’m looking for this guy. *pulls out a photo* Anybody know who he is?

Yeah, sure, we know him. That’s Mr. Burns.

He tried to kill our puppies.

He sexually harassed me.

He stole my fiancée.

He made fun of my weight.

…okay, so there’s been a little friction. Know his address?

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

*Orbitty jumps onto the desk*
“AHHHHHHHGH!!!!!! WHAT IS THAT?!!!”
“That’s what happens when you genetically modify corn too much.”
“I’ll take the case!”

 

[Yoshi155]

How were his test scores?

Let’s just say this: he spelled “Yale” with a six.

 

[QueenCobra]

"Hi, this is my husband. He dissects crayfish, but he has a really good personality.”