Serious Talk on Sex -Keep It Mature! description about a manga now added

[Nerd House]

-cough- -quotes what i just said- -cough-

Sorry, not reading every wall of text on every page xD

And people don't like my opinion, so I'll just leave the thread. Sorry.

 

[fallenchaoskitten]

Sorry, not reading every wall of text on every page xD

And people don't like my opinion, so I'll just leave the thread. Sorry.

You don't have to leave because people have different opinions. =3
Which is just why I posted that if someone asks about the subject or any subject that is really "touchy" we make a "pro and con" list.
Keeps from flame wars and it stays educational. =3

- - - Post Merge - - -

Anyways, I guess I will ask a question... it's a little more depth one.

How can you tell what is a good lube brand?
Condoms is almost a "duh" by how many advertisements there are... what are good, trusted lube brands? Or how do you even find that info?
I know what to look for in the lube I would like, but I know things vary from brand to brand... and right now the current is working fine, but I think it could be better.
Just not sure what brands to trust with such sensitive areas? I know our current brand is an off brand...
I have heard of K-Y a lot, but their advertising says mostly just "massage" and not as many "massage and play" so leads me to think that the only massage wouldn't be safe for the "play"?

((figured this would be a safe topic since it is educational based since you get/use the wrong kind bad things can happen. >.>))

 

[Caius]

Use some common sense guys. I get the image but no graphic depictions of sex please.

 

[Fearthecuteness]

You don't have to leave because people have different opinions. =3
Which is just why I posted that if someone asks about the subject or any subject that is really "touchy" we make a "pro and con" list.
Keeps from flame wars and it stays educational. =3

- - - Post Merge - - -

Anyways, I guess I will ask a question... it's a little more depth one.

How can you tell what is a good lube brand?
Condoms is almost a "duh" by how many advertisements there are... what are good, trusted lube brands? Or how do you even find that info?
I know what to look for in the lube I would like, but I know things vary from brand to brand... and right now the current is working fine, but I think it could be better.
Just not sure what brands to trust with such sensitive areas? I know our current brand is an off brand...
I have heard of K-Y a lot, but their advertising says mostly just "massage" and not as many "massage and play" so leads me to think that the only massage wouldn't be safe for the "play"?

((figured this would be a safe topic since it is educational based since you get/use the wrong kind bad things can happen. >.>))

This is one I'd say you'd have to experiment with and try different ones to find your preference. Search for reviews to see how well the lube works if it's appropriate for sensitive areas. The best places to look for reviews is on sex toy sites to see what the customer thought about the purchase. Remember everyone will have a better experience with different brands then others so it's best to just try them all out. Personally I don't find much difference in them.

Edit: Always use extra lube with condoms. Condoms break so easily so it's better to be safe then sorry.

 

[staticistic1114]

If you aren't ready, then he shouldn't force you into thinking you are.
If you want to wait for marriage, there is nothing wrong with that. I always like the thought of waiting for marriage and after a horrible thing that happened to my in the 9th grade, which I won't get into, I decided I AM going to wait for marriage.

Being ready has absolutely NOTHING to do with how long you have been with someone.
It is the same way with "labeling an age" as Fearthecuteness kind of touched on in the beginning.
It is about YOU being ready ... not they are ready so I need to be.
My husband and I got married on our 3rd year anniversary. So, it is possible if you are dating someone for a long time and NOT have sex for whatever reason you choose. It can be either waiting for marriage like myself or that you aren't ready for that big step.

I will warn, if you wait for marriage and people find out, you get a lot of ****. Will not lie. I can tell ya all about it if anyone wants to ask or even send me a PM.
But it does say something about yourself and how you value yourself, remember that.

Being about to say "no" when you aren't ready, even if you aren't waiting for marriage, shows that you value yourself enough and respect yourself enough to not allow others to pressure you into something you will regret.

Sometimes not being ready does hurt a partner's pride, but they need to kinda "get over it." If they truly love and care for you, then they will respect your decision. Communication is entirely key in any type of relationship, so it is important to talk to your partner about how you feel about things, how you think, and your fears. If you don't, it can lead to a "shut down" or "putting up a wall" that leads to being disconnected. Which is an awful feeling for both parties.




As for the pain...
Myself and all my friends had pain their first time no matter what they did.
BUT If you are smart about it and take the time to actually learn about each other and go slow, the experience isn't that awful. I promise.
A lot of times... I guess... the best way to describe it is the pain is there but the pleasure is worth the pain? Even if it really isn't that good... since it is your first time.
The most important thing to do is relax. Which is easier said than done. Since when you are stressed, you will clench your muscles making it very difficult for you and your partner.
It is also common to feel pain the first FEW times you have sex. Not just the first time. But that is why it is important to have someone you can actually communicate with since sometimes there will be a spot that will give a painful feel and then there are spots that give the desired feeling of pleasure. You both just have to learn each other's bodies to make sure not to get those spots that may cause pain and hit the ones that cause pleasure.
Of course, if there is a lot of intense pain, it could be a sign of different medical problem and it is best to seek the advice of a medical professional. Something as common and easy to treat as a Yeast Infection can cause a lot of discomfort and pain with intercourse and many people don't know the "warning signs" to know they have one.

owh thank you o:

 

[fallenchaoskitten]

This is one I'd say you'd have to experiment with and try different ones to find your preference. Search for reviews to see how well the lube works if it's appropriate for sensitive areas. The best places to look for reviews is on sex toy sites to see what the customer thought about the purchase. Remember everyone will have a better experience with different brands then others so it's best to just try them all out. Personally I don't find much difference in them.

Edit: Always use extra lube with condoms. Condoms break so easily so it's better to be safe then sorry.

Yeah. I know about using more with condoms not really for the breaking purposes, but more because the condoms are more plastic-y and don't have as much... give? as skin does. I have no idea how to describe it. XP

I guess I'm just too embarrassed to look at those kinds of sites.
Idk...
I'm a grown married woman who lives alone with her husband in their own home...
Yet still too embarrassed to look at those kinds of sites. XP
I'm also completely outta sync on whatever those sites would even since I'm not one who is interested in masturbation to even be familiar with toys or brands. ((... I have an abnormal basis about the female body... idk... i just find it disgusting.))
And there isn't any local Adult Stores anymore ((not like they actually have a whole lot, btw)) since it got shut down since it was a cover for a drug ring. ... no really. XP

My friends are extremely open about their sex lives and have "pure romance parties" ((FYI, before you try doing one of these, the company is against and WILL NOT support or allow parties with persons under the age of 18 to attend)) almost once a month... and invite me every month ((I think really for the sole purpose of trying to embarrass me o.o)). Yet, I guess, I don't feel comfortable or really want people to know what is or isn't happening in my bedroom? So I find it really hard to even just chat with a friend about any of the stuff either. ^^'

Maybe later today I will just suck it up and look up some of those sites. My 1 year anniversary is coming up in a few months so it wouldn't be too bad to have a little surprise like that.
I'll just keep telling myself it is more like I am getting a gift for someone to make myself feel better. >.>

 

[Kildor]

A friend asked me today, if I know how a hymen can be broken. I said I didn't know, which lead me to here.
How does a hymen actually break?
How much force do you need to break it?
How painful does it feel?
Will it bleed alot?

 

[fallenchaoskitten]

owh thank you o:

You're welcome. =3
But really, don't be scared about the pain.
I'm one of the someones that due to one of those cases were the intense pain won't go away found out from a medical professional I do have a problem... and not the simple Yeast Infection one I talked about. XP
I literally will tare every. single. time. I am with my husband no matter what we do.
That being said, this is coming from a person who has intense pain every single time she is intimate, and pain that will last quite some time after it is over, as well as not be very experienced and with someone who is lacking experience as well... The pleasure and connecting with that person through such an intimate activity of intercourse is worth the pain. ^-^

So, just don't let that be the only thing that is really keeping you from being ready. As said a few times through the thread and will probably be said many more times, there are ways to lessen the pain. But even if it is there, it still doesn't stop the experience from being worth it. =3
((... p.s. I'm not a masochist))

- - - Post Merge - - -

A friend asked me today, if I know how a hymen can be broken. I said I didn't know, which lead me to here.
How does a hymen actually break?
How much force do you need to break it?
How painful does it feel?
Will it bleed alot?

I will break this down into each question

How does a hymen actually break?
- It isn't an actual break. I'm not sure how to describe it. I heard pages back someone talk about it, but I don't remember which page. I am sorry. It is more it is stretched out than broken. It's not like a big whole is ripped into your tissue or anything like that. =3

How much force do you need to break it?
-Hymens are actually shaped differently... I wish I knew the educational manga I read that talked bout that, but since they are shaped differently and everyone's body is different, there isn't a whole lot of this or that definite answer to it.
-It is also possible to break it by doing simple activities like riding a bike, riding a horse, or playing sports.

How painful does it feel?
- It is different for each person, but if you read what I just wrote in a reply before, there is pain. it hurts. but that shouldn't be what stops you from being ready.

Will it bleed a lot?
- I will quote what my mom told me when I asked her this when I was little... It varies. It maybe just a couple drops of blood and that is it or it could bleed to the amount a period would and last up to 3 days.
- When I lost my virginity, not to really be graphic but to give an idea, the condom was bloody and a few drops of blood on the bed. And I had spotting the next day.
- ... you won't bleed to death... it's ok. =3

 

[Kildor]

You're welcome. =3
But really, don't be scared about the pain.
I'm one of the someones that due to one of those cases were the intense pain won't go away found out from a medical professional I do have a problem... and not the simple Yeast Infection one I talked about. XP
I literally will tare every. single. time. I am with my husband no matter what we do.
That being said, this is coming from a person who has intense pain every single time she is intimate, and pain that will last quite some time after it is over, as well as not be very experienced and with someone who is lacking experience as well... The pleasure and connecting with that person through such an intimate activity of intercourse is worth the pain. ^-^

So, just don't let that be the only thing that is really keeping you from being ready. As said a few times through the thread and will probably be said many more times, there are ways to lessen the pain. But even if it is there, it still doesn't stop the experience from being worth it. =3
((... p.s. I'm not a masochist))

- - - Post Merge - - -



I will break this down into each question

How does a hymen actually break?
- It isn't an actual break. I'm not sure how to describe it. I heard pages back someone talk about it, but I don't remember which page. I am sorry. It is more it is stretched out than broken. It's not like a big whole is ripped into your tissue or anything like that. =3

How much force do you need to break it?
-Hymens are actually shaped differently... I wish I knew the educational manga I read that talked bout that, but since they are shaped differently and everyone's body is different, there isn't a whole lot of this or that definite answer to it.
-It is also possible to break it by doing simple activities like riding a bike, riding a horse, or playing sports.

How painful does it feel?
- It is different for each person, but if you read what I just wrote in a reply before, there is pain. it hurts. but that shouldn't be what stops you from being ready.

Will it bleed a lot?
- I will quote what my mom told me when I asked her this when I was little... It varies. It maybe just a couple drops of blood and that is it or it could bleed to the amount a period would and last up to 3 days.
- When I lost my virginity, not to really be graphic but to give an idea, the condom was bloody and a few drops of blood on the bed. And I had spotting the next day.
- ... you won't bleed to death... it's ok. =3

Thanks for the answers. It's kinda weird since I might not be able to handle something like bleeding during sexual intercourse. I don't want my parner to get hurt. I'm a guy by the way, haha. This thread is actually doing well. It helps alot! Keep up the great job everyone.

 

[fallenchaoskitten]

Thanks for the answers. It's kinda weird since I might not be able to handle something like bleeding during sexual intercourse. I don't want my parner to get hurt. I'm a guy by the way, haha. This thread is actually doing well. It helps alot! Keep up the great job everyone.

... umm... during sexual intercourse it isn't exactly common ((well, at least not the very first time anyways)) to just look down and stare at it happening. ^^' So, you really don't know about the blood until the deed is done.
Put a towel or an old blanket down before hand. =3
... and not to be awful sounding but what my friend said once was "do it in the shower". If blood will freak you out that much. Do it in the shower, shower on. It will kinda run down and away with the water maybe before you will notice in the water. Just make sure to be safe since "slippery when wet" and you don't wanna fall and hurt yourself either during or after or anything. o.o

ANYWAYS
As tips have said in the thread that will help with the pain.
1. Take it slow. like. really. really. really. slow. The body isn't use to stretching like that... yet. It is often easier to kinda go in, stop to allow the body to adjust and then a little more and then stop. A woman can push a baby's head out of there. It will stretch.
2. Lube. Lots and lots of lube. When you think you have too much lube, use more. >.>
3. Loosening up before hand.... not like foreplay. If you are about to be sexual active with intercourse, before this event it is likely to be doing or about to start engaging in "mutual masturbation" ((hand job or fingering)). These things help. If nothing has even stretched the vagina before, even a finger, it is obviously going to make things a little more difficult.
4. Foreplay... It is very important to set the mood and to calm down the nerves.
5. If it is hurting too much, stop. Just stop for a moment and try to relax. If a girl is tense, she will, without knowingly, tense all the muscles inside her... Making it almost impossible to really move inside without causing pain.

But it is really sweet of you to think about her pain. =3

 

[Kildor]

... umm... during sexual intercourse it isn't exactly common ((well, at least not the very first time anyways)) to just look down and stare at it happening. ^^' So, you really don't know about the blood until the deed is done.
Put a towel or an old blanket down before hand. =3
... and not to be awful sounding but what my friend said once was "do it in the shower". If blood will freak you out that much. Do it in the shower, shower on. It will kinda run down and away with the water maybe before you will notice in the water. Just make sure to be safe since "slippery when wet" and you don't wanna fall and hurt yourself either during or after or anything. o.o

ANYWAYS
As tips have said in the thread that will help with the pain.
1. Take it slow. like. really. really. really. slow. The body isn't use to stretching like that... yet. It is often easier to kinda go in, stop to allow the body to adjust and then a little more and then stop. A woman can push a baby's head out of there. It will stretch.
2. Lube. Lots and lots of lube. When you think you have too much lube, use more. >.>
3. Loosening up before hand.... not like foreplay. If you are about to be sexual active with intercourse, before this event it is likely to be doing or about to start engaging in "mutual masturbation" ((hand job or fingering)). These things help. If nothing has even stretched the vagina before, even a finger, it is obviously going to make things a little more difficult.
4. Foreplay... It is very important to set the mood and to calm down the nerves.
5. If it is hurting too much, stop. Just stop for a moment and try to relax. If a girl is tense, she will, without knowingly, tense all the muscles inside her... Making it almost impossible to really move inside without causing pain.

But it is really sweet of you to think about her pain. =3

Thanks for the tips. I imagine sex as a way to show your affection to your partner, so I want my partner to feel good too. It would be horrible if she does not like it while I enjoy myself. That's just kinda wrong in my opinion. Thanks again for the tips. Really appreciate it

 

[fallenchaoskitten]

Thanks for the tips. I imagine sex as a way to show your affection to your partner, so I want my partner to feel good too. It would be horrible if she does not like it while I enjoy myself. That's just kinda wrong in my opinion. Thanks again for the tips. Really appreciate it

That is good for you. =3
And you're welcome.

Just work on learning each others bodies out before the big event.
I have said in a before post I think awhile back that sometimes there are spots that hurt while other spots that feel good. ((could just be due to my condition but I'm sure others have that as well))
That is where #3 really helps learn about what to not do and what to do... Which it is probably a lot easier to control a finger than a penis. But you'll get the idea. XP

Also, women feel pleasure from things other than vaginal intercourse, and in many cases more pleasure easily from things other than that. If you find out what those are before hand, it is possible to "multi-task" during sex. ^^'
I'm sure guys probably have those things as well, but I can really only speak for a woman's perspective.

 

[Mewmewmewm]

We had to watch the "miracle of Birth" today in sex ed
It. . .popped. .
OH GOD IT POPPED （；＿；）
I couldn't watch the whole thing, i had to put my head down on my desk. I only saw a little bit and from the bits i saw. . .
*shiver* i just felt uncomfortable. And incredibly grossed out.
I guess I'm really innocent or something. We had a test on reproductive systems and i literally got ONE RIGHT. My teacher said i set a new record ヽ(；▽；)ノ and the only reason i got that one right was because i put kawaii eyes on it with blushies to make myself feel better.
. . .
I WAS A SHELTERED CHILD OKAY ヽ(；▽；)ノ
But it was weird. Later a girl in class asked how abortions work and the teacher refused to answer which i thought was kind of odd. I know a lot about them because my sister worked with planned parenthood for a while and would go to protests. But i think thats a decently school appropriate question. I mean they also showed us a full detailed video with a fancy british lady talking about semen with pictures, i think we could handle something like abortion.

 

[fallenchaoskitten]

We had to watch the "miracle of Birth" today in sex ed
It. . .popped. .
OH GOD IT POPPED （；＿；）
I couldn't watch the whole thing, i had to put my head down on my desk. I only saw a little bit and from the bits i saw. . .
*shiver* i just felt uncomfortable. And incredibly grossed out.
I guess I'm really innocent or something. We had a test on reproductive systems and i literally got ONE RIGHT. My teacher said i set a new record ヽ(；▽；)ノ and the only reason i got that one right was because i put kawaii eyes on it with blushies to make myself feel better.
. . .
I WAS A SHELTERED CHILD OKAY ヽ(；▽；)ノ
But it was weird. Later a girl in class asked how abortions work and the teacher refused to answer which i thought was kind of odd. I know a lot about them because my sister worked with planned parenthood for a while and would go to protests. But i think thats a decently school appropriate question. I mean they also showed us a full detailed video with a fancy british lady talking about semen with pictures, i think we could handle something like abortion.

We never had to watch that video in school... my mom and I liked natural channels and documentaries, so it is something I saw a lot.
But don't feel bad. My cousin when his daughter was born and it came to cutting the cord and seeing the placenta, he literally threw up. XP

If abortion is legal, it is something that should be discussed, whether you agree with the practice or not.
The education of what it does and how it happens, as well as the dangers it can cause, should be discussed.
To my knowledge ((I'm pro-life so I don't stay current on abortion news)) the practice of getting an abortion is much safer than it use to be.
I think if you are old enough for the school to mandate you to watch a child being born, you are old enough to learn about abortion.

 

[Fearthecuteness]

We had to watch the "miracle of Birth" today in sex ed
It. . .popped. .
OH GOD IT POPPED （；＿；）
I couldn't watch the whole thing, i had to put my head down on my desk. I only saw a little bit and from the bits i saw. . .
*shiver* i just felt uncomfortable. And incredibly grossed out.
I guess I'm really innocent or something. We had a test on reproductive systems and i literally got ONE RIGHT. My teacher said i set a new record ヽ(；▽；)ノ and the only reason i got that one right was because i put kawaii eyes on it with blushies to make myself feel better.
. . .
I WAS A SHELTERED CHILD OKAY ヽ(；▽；)ノ
But it was weird. Later a girl in class asked how abortions work and the teacher refused to answer which i thought was kind of odd. I know a lot about them because my sister worked with planned parenthood for a while and would go to protests. But i think thats a decently school appropriate question. I mean they also showed us a full detailed video with a fancy british lady talking about semen with pictures, i think we could handle something like abortion.

Oh no trust me. I've been through it and I think it's gross. xD

I think abortions really should be talked about more. It's something that needs to be more openly talked about so that people don't feel ashamed about having it done. Plus if they need to do it then it's not going to be so scary if they know as much detail about it as possible.

 

[Cudon]

Personally I could not give less of a **** about sex, but might aswell mention the sex ed I've had so far.

5th grade - We had a month or two about the basics of sex and genitalia.

6th grade - A little bit more about sex, don't really remember the details

7th - 9th grade - I'm currently on 8th, but the program stays quite similar. In health class we cycle through like 5 topics: sex, sleep, eating properly, emergencies, drugs & such. So basically were going over the same things 3 years straight. The sex ed is quite detailed and I'm happy to say my teacher is really mature about it. We're told about all kinds of birth-control, even about the less popular ones & where to get em. I'm not really a fan of health class since it teaches me everything I don't give a **** about. I don't care about what each drug does in specific, I'm not gonna use em anyway. Also most of the stuff taught there is common sense, like sleeping properly.

I haven't encountered any teen pregnancy yet, even though I'm sure it happens here in Finland.

 

[Kildor]

You probably should put something like 18+ in the topic.

*cough cough* What? The point of this thread was to teach youngsters about sex, if they have any actual questions.
They try to answer the questions as non-graphic as possible. So this thread would be pointless if 18+ adults were asking, because they should know the answers by themselves.

 

[Fearthecuteness]

I got a message from someone on this forum (keeping it annonymous) and with their permission I'm putting the questions on here because I think they're good questions that I'm sure a lot of males worry about.

What size is good enough to satisfy your partner? How do you know if your partner is ready for sex without outright asking (to avoid awkwardness).

 

[Kildor]

I got a message from someone on this forum (keeping it annonymous) and with their permission I'm putting the questions on here because I think they're good questions that I'm sure a lot of males worry about.

What size is good enough to satisfy your partner? How do you know if your partner is ready for sex without outright asking (to avoid awkwardness).

I have an opinion on this one.
A wise man once said,
"It doesn't matter what size it is, it's how you use it."

 

[fallenchaoskitten]

OH!! WAS GOING TO ASK, Fearthecuteness
There was this manga I read when I first got married to help with the whole issue of sex and all that.
It is an educational manga that depicts two virgins who marry ((they didn't know each other were either =3)) and discusses topics from fear of sex or being seen naked, how bodies different ((all the way from pubic hair growth to direction penis's can tilt)), and even to the extent of after married a little while problems like cheating and such. Or biological clock ticking.
I read the one that was written in the male perspective, but a female one has been written as well. I just wasn't aware of it so I read the "male" one. But really both are the same storyline. XP
It is I think nearly 200 chapters, with chapters normally having 30 to 50 pages if I remember correctly. So, it has a lot of content. I don't think I ever made it to 100 chapters. XP
It is useful, but it does have graphic depictions... It is about a newly wed couple. Not really to the level of hintai but still there. It does say in the manga's description that it is for educational purposes. So, it may not be appropriate to have it listed on the front, but good to know if someone asks privately?
I'm sure I would be able to find it quickly and be able to provide you a link to a free manga reading app and website to find it on.
Some people may find it easier to learn reading something written out in manga style than textbook style.

- - - Post Merge - - -

I got a message from someone on this forum (keeping it annonymous) and with their permission I'm putting the questions on here because I think they're good questions that I'm sure a lot of males worry about.

What size is good enough to satisfy your partner? How do you know if your partner is ready for sex without outright asking (to avoid awkwardness).

The avg size is 6ins in length.
That being said there is always the joke, "it's not the size of the boat but the motion of the ocean."
One way a guy "hinted" about sex with me was he put a condom in my pocket. XP
And really, if you are too embarrassed to really ask about sex being on the table, then maybe you aren't ready to have sex? Kinda personal opinion but yeah.
But there is always just the "going with the flow" ... start things up and just see where things lead to before you get the red flag.