I am very sorry for your loss. I know how you feel.
I lost my childhood dog in my freshman year, and the dog we bought a year and a half before as a puppy, got hit by a car 14 days later... I took a nap and I woke up and realized she was not in the fenced in area of my yard. It was completely and safely locked in, but she was gone. She had jumped the very tall fence.
Just days before she had a seizure and looked around our house looking for him, because she could smell him and it just drove her nuts because she couldn't find him. I had so many people say it was just a dog but it was more than that.
She knew her friend was gone and looking for him she lost her own life..
Also, my junior year, I looked over at my childhood cat, something surely had me put off.. I instantly ran out (even though it was 10pm) and said she NEEDED to go to the vet, that, "something wasn't right" three weeks later, a week into her at home treatment we had to put her to sleep. Our bond at the time was so strong I could sense when she was drifting away... Before her appointment, before she lost her ability to walk, she meowed, and walked towards me and swayed back and fourth unable to balance herself.. I scooped her up and she could no longer walk, she just laid there, and purred, because she knew the end was near... Until she got older she never spent much time with me, but in the end, she knew who her real mom was, and that was me, I had barely slept the whole week, all I did was watch and make sure she was okay. I felt like she was thanking me for taking such good care of her, and giving her the love she deserved.
Animals may not talk, but they can hold strong bonds and friendships with their families that will never be forgotten.
I seem to grow strong bonds with animals- more than I ever would a human being. They are so compassionate and loyal, more than any person could ever be. They seem to always know when something is bothering you, and a purr or a wimper and a pat of a paw could make all of your problems go away.
My dad went into a major surgery, and he walked to rainbow bridge and our beloved dog was waiting for him, but as he started to wake up, he walked back and my grandmother said "it isn't your time yet--- he will be with me until it's your time"
let that be a little reminder that when life is over, we will be with our loved ones again, especially our animals.
I love my animals so much, my new pets are getting pretty old, I cannot bear to think of it being the end with them either...
Remember even though pets are here for a small fraction of our lives... We are their whole life. Make it as wonderful for them as it ever can be possible.
Please keep your head up and know that all of your pets are waiting at rainbow road.