2014-2016 were some really rough years. If I'm remembering right, I forced a custody battle to get myself re-homed and put in the foster care system. Boyfriend of like 5 years dumped me because I was toxic and a literal plague to be around because I was so traumatized, depressed, anxious and toxic. Nearly lost all my friends. I graduated around that time and I wasn't happy.
Later 2016-2017 I moved out pretty much the day I turned 18 from my aunt's who was fostering me and I moved in with my friend. I hardly touched the internet around this time because I reconnected with a best friend and we just did a lot of terrible and illegal things together. She ended up being abusive, I got shunned by our friend group for some petty toxic thing that happened that her friend convinced me to leave. I went to college, had a drug abusing boyfriend who I didn't stop sexual assault, etc.
2017-2018 I broke up with the drug abusing boyfriend, dropped right out of college, and met my current boyfriend on a video game. I was a train wreck. Dependency issues, no friends, horrible attitude, depression, failing college, etc. I just dropped out, moved back in with my old best friend, we kept doing drugs and doing hood rat things. My current boyfriend flew out to meet me, we met, and then we felt like we liked each other. Friend got abusive again, I was forced to move back in with abusive mom, decided I'd had it after I got into a car accident that totaled my car and just flew across the country to be with my current boyfriend who'd I'd known for only like 5 months at that point.
2018-2019 Had really bad depression, withdrawals, etc. Basically I had to relearn how to be a normal and functioning, non toxic human being. Boyfriend's a saint and he stuck through the absolute worst of it when I was damn near abusive, jobless, and mentally unstable. At some point things just started to click. I guess the way it can be stated is "I grew up." I recognized the things I did hurt and impacted people around me. I acknowledged lots of bad things that were done to me. I started actually feeling again and learned how to form opinions and develop a personality outside of being abused.
2020 It's been really good so far. I don't have meltdowns. I can hold a job. I can speak rationally. I haven't been depressed for months, just occasionally have some blue days. Sometimes I slip up and do some toxic things, but I'm quick to listen when people point it out and am really self observing. I can think and talk for myself now, I can make opinions, and am comfortable saying 'No' and utilizing free will. My boyfriend and I have a really strong relationship and although I don't have any IRL friends, I've made two online friends I treasure more than anything really. They're amazing.
