sometimes I feel like I understand why the majority of people hate me
I want to just disappear and not talk to people but I can't not try to talkIjust keep talking and talking and eventually I get hit over the head with a feeling of shame because it was a one sided conversation and they just wanted me to leave
I've tried the no talking strategy but it never works. It's like my brain wants to destroy me from the inside out and I hate it so much
im so scared that i'll end up driving myself crazy from self loathing
whenever i try to say something it comes out stupid
a girl on the bus said i had no feelings and talked like a robot
I always thought I was above the aspergers majority, that i could talk to people and be fine and was clever but no, ive been fooling myself and im an awkward idiot who sits alone at lunch and can't construct a proper sentence