I've recently been approached by an ACNH player on a social media platform. We engaged in conversion and have very similar interests in games. Last night, after he visited my island, he mentioned being 14 years old.
Since I'm an adult, how should I handle this situation? I'd like to hear your advice.
I'm aware of xbox games and discord servers where a variety of players meet of all ages. Adults and minors. I'm also aware that people with bad intentions often creep around in such online places.
Just don't be weird, I guess. Don't make suggestive jokes, don't get too personal, etc. Generally speaking, keep them at an arm's length.
If you want to be completely safe, it never hurts to just block anyone under the age of 18. Don't be rude about it, of course, but it's generally better safe than sorry.
If you and this person really enjoy the friendship then I feel that's okay. As was stated, yeah just don't be weird and make inappropriate jokes or comments. Don't take advantage of them, etc. If it helps, maybe you can think of yourself as their older sibling.
I personally can't find it in me to really bond with minors, asides from my younger cousins and the siblings of my friends. As I grow older, I realize I'm not really on the same wavelength as minors anymore, haha. A little chat here and there is fine, but it wouldn't be on the same level of comfort I have when I talk to adults. I'm just an old grandma who likes talking about anything under the sun with my adult friends, including more mature topics (existential crisis with your 20+ y/o friends is fun ). With minors I feel I have to really restrict myself or make an effort to change my personality a little, haha.
I get that playing with minors is awkward. Just don’t be weird obviously or don’t get intimate with them. Casual talk is fine but when it starts to become more, that’s a problem. I noticed that it’s hard for adults to have things in common with kids and vice versa. I work with minors and the conversations don’t get weird, but I also understand that them and I are very different and we don’t have much in common. If it makes you feel safer, I guess you could stop playing or talking with them. Just be nice about it. He can’t help how old he is, after all.
I'm assuming you already said your age and asked if they're comfortable with that? If not, I'd make sure to do that. If I'm talking to someone online and I have a feeling they might be younger I try to check their age right away.
If both of you are okay with it then I agree with others that it's best to keep them a bit at a distance and focused on the games.
For me since I used to teach in a high school even with 17/18 year-olds I tend to think of them/treat them like my students which helps.
This is a tough one! On the one hand, it’s important for young people to have someone who is a safe person for them to turn to - saying this knowing that many teens don’t feel they can turn to their parents or other immediate adult figures. On the other hand, it is important to establish boundaries. I’d set clear expectations - and give yourself a guilt-free way out, “If at any point I feel uncomfortable, I’ll tell you and that will be the end of playing or conversing, no exceptions.” And if they understand and accept that and any other expectations you set, then I’d say it’s okay.
I’m a mother myself, so I tend to talk to younger teens as though I’m their ”mother support figure” or their friend’s mom.
Another measure is make sure whatever you guys talk about is something that if the kid’s mother read that they wouldn’t be upset by any of it - as in, keep it wholesome, appropriately uplifting, etc. Just don’t ghost them if you start to feel uncomfortable, as that could be very damaging to them.
This is an old thread but it's still worth talking about.
Honestly, it's whatever you and him are comfortable with. Always state your age and ask if they're okay with that. Obviously never be inappropriate and you should be fine.
For me, I could never be 'friends' with a minor. I'm in my late twenties and with younger kids (even highschoolers), my 'mother' instinct comes out and I end up speaking to them like I'm their mom lol, giving advice, etc. I'd always be open to talking to anyone under 18 if they needed an ear but I wouldn't want to be their friend. Thinking about it makes me feel weird or like I'm being a creep. Doing a quick gaming trade or something is totally fine but I wouldn't want to hangout, if that makes sense.
If anything, even just talking to them you can tell you're both in such difference stages of life. They're focused on petty friend drama and I'm a working adult who comes home to do housework lol. Different maturity levels too. Just doesn't mesh well imo.
I think as long as you keep your interactions strictly surface-level (i.e. about the game), you should be fine. Don't pretend to be a minor. You should tell the kid how old you are and see how they feel. Use common sense, and don't say anything inappropriate.
When I was a teen I had no problems playing with adults. Now that I’m an adult myself it’s a bit different. I prefer to either just focus on the game itself or keep information superficial. That being said I rarely play games online anyway, but when I do I keep high boundaries.
). With minors I feel I have to really restrict myself or make an effort to change my personality a little, haha.
