Oh ho ho ho, you just opened my verbose side.
Animal Crossing is a game of mental concentration. It has an effect on the human brain the more you get into it. It all starts off with me talking to animals. Wait, anthropomorphic animals? We're already treading down a dangerous path here. Are we sure this is called Animal Crossing and not Animal Fantasy Land? Anyway, this shady racoon "businessman" with an apron decides to sell me a house, and all I got on myself is a mere 1,000 bells. Yeah, try doing that in real life. I'm pretty sure your realtor would love to cancel business with you right on the spot. But hey, it looks like this racoon has somewhat of a heart. He doesn't like the small amount of bells I have, but at least he understands that I'm willing to try and work it off. So I go to work for this guy for a bit, pay off the "small loan", and instantly lays me off. Welp, so much for that. Anyways, at least I have a house now. That's fine and dandy! Wait, what's this? I'm all out of room to put down these strange moving wood figures I found buried in the wet ground. Time to go ask this "Nook" guy to make me a bigger house! Yeah, I'll take out another loan, why not. I wake up the next morning, and find out that my room grew in size overnight. Is this some sort of magic trickery? How come I never heard any hammers or drills go off? Whatever, that's irrelevant. So now I have to pay off another loan. I love how there's no deadline and no interest rate. Where else can you find a vendor that's as generous as Nook? I'm starting to like this new town I've moved into! So as I'm walking down this big grassy field with apple trees that seem to grow faster than weeds, I encounter a strange purple cat eating a donut. "Hi, I'm Villager," I ask him, and he replies, "I'm Bob, number one snack eater. I hope we can be bestest friends forever and ever!" We then proceed to chat about random things that nobody cares about, and I've made a brand new friend in 5 minutes. Cool! After our little conversation, I walk a little further, and see another animal, this time a brown duck, doing some stretches. "Hi, I'm Villager," I tell this Duck, and he says, "I'm Bill, number one strongman. You can't lift more than me!" Is this duck trying to compete with me? I barely even work out myself. Where's his dumbbells anyways? Forgetting that thought, I continue on my walk, and see a small group of female animals. One was a gray cat with commas for eyes; another was a beautiful pale blue wolf; and the last had a star on her forehead. I think their names were Lolly, Whitney, and Winnie, but I could've been wrong. I introduced myself to them, and they smile and wave back at me. Wow, everyone seems to get along here! As I near to my destination, the Museum, I encounter one last animal, and he didn't look very nice. He had scars on his face, and his expression was not friendly at all. It was a dark red pig. I was going to simply walk past him, when he suddenly blurted out, "Whatchu doin' on my walking ground?!" Acting scared, I turned to look at him like a deer in headlights. He laughed, and said, "My bad. Didn't realize you were new here. I'm Rasher. I tend to get angry a lot." Hmm. Interesting character indeed. Finally, I reach the museum, and immediately, I'm greeted with one of the employees sleeping on the job. I originally thought that the museum was closed, but I saw a sign in the corner that read "Open 24 hours", so I just went inside and looked around. Nothing. A whole lotta nothing. That's disappointing. I was about to exit the place when I accidentally woke up the sleeping owl I had passed earlier. "Whaaa? Oh, another patron," he exclaimed, "Pardon me, but I don't think we've met before, hm? My name is Blathers. I curate this emp- I mean, wonderous museum, and as you could probably see, there's nothing to look at here. Hoo, do I wish we could get some donations going, that would be splendid!" I greeted myself quickly, and left the building in search of Blathers' "donations". At this point, I stopped by my former employer, grabbed some tools, and proceeded to venture into the wild. Catching bugs was of no problem. I accidentally bothered some wasps, however, and now my eye is swollen like crazy. I got hit with some karma there! Then, I went to the ocean, and caught the whole sea bass population. Not bad, I say! I then dug up some weird-looking spots on the ground, and found these strange blue circles with white marks. Could these be fossils? After the day was over, I went back to Blathers, and donated what I had. He could only take one of my sea bass, however, so I was left with a ton of sea bass I had no idea what to do with. I took another quick look inside the museum, and could see everything I donated. Hmm, there seems to be missing spots for things. I can't let this happen! I then went back to Nook's shed, sold off all my sea bass, and earned enough to pay off the loan I just got. Nook suggested that I get another room added to my house for another small loan, so of course I accepted. I ended the day going to sleep peacefully in my bed. What a great day! The next morning, another room was magically added to my house. How is Nook doing this so quickly and quietly? Whatever. Stepping outside, I came across this camel with several rugs in a canvas backpack. Talking in somewhat broken English, she requested 3,000 bells to decorate my house. As my house looked very plain, I, of course, accepted. After she was done with her work, I step inside my house, and all of a sudden, I see my wall is now a barren desert wasteland, and the floor is made of metal. I'm not sure if I really like her design sense now that I think about it. I decided to leave it be as I had things to do. On my walk to the beach, I encounter a lost book sitting on the ground. Now, who could this belong to? Going off my knowledge of the few villagers I've met thus far, I was beginning to think that this book belonged to Lolly. I go to her house, and hand her the book. She was happy to see that I found her lost book, and gave me her tropical hat as a reward. Cool! I got a hat now! Continuing on to the beach, I try to find some new fish, but all I had seem to catch was more sea bass. Eh, I thought I caught them all. I eventually got bored and decided to go to Nook's shed to sell off the sea bass. Not enough to pay off the new loan, however, so I instead bought a few flower seeds and kept the rest of what I got back. As I was planting the seeds, I saw Rasher put up a "For Sale" sign on his property. "You're moving?" I ask him, and he simply nodded. I never really knew the guy anyways, so it wasn't a big deal to see him go. Days and months eventually go by, and I've made substantial progress on my museum, and have made my house significantly bigger. I've also become best friends with the guys I met on day one, and we hang out together quite a bit. I even got some of their self-portraits. That's awesome! Unlike Rasher, I could never see these guys leave my town. They mean too much to me. Oh, did I also mention that Nook's little shed turned into a mega shopping mall, thanks to me? Man, do these villager folk love having me around. I feel like I do everything for them, however, as they can't seem to contribute anything in return. That kind of bothers me. If I put in a high amount of effort to make my town beautiful, shouldn't they at least help me out someway? A full year goes by, and I've collected every bug, every fish, every fossil, and my house is now a mansion. I've started to become bored of this life, and now my cute little friend villagers are starting to tell me things I already know about. If I continue on this path, my brain will turn to mush. So, before I wake up, I decide to talk to Nook in my dreams, and tell him that I want to start over. He is genuinely surprised by this revelation, and sadly goes forward with bulldozing the town I've built up. All the villagers I knew, a distant memory. Everything I've ever collected, gone. But hey, at least I get to talk to the friendly blue cat on the train again!
Johnny Bravo
