I just really miss my dad. I'm so glad that I get to spend Christmas with my girlfriend and my family and that I'm going to have a fun Christmas break in NYC, but honestly all I want is a hug from my dad and I'm never going to get one again. It just doesn't seem fair, you know? And the more I think about it, the more I wish I had taken the time to see him and spend time with him. Like I know it's not my fault that I'm in college and that my parents were split up, but I feel like I could have done more. Idk, I just miss him, and i wish i could have told him how much i love him before he died. I wish i was there to tell him not to text and drive, or maybe of i had called him about the plans we were making he would have been on the phone with me instead of looking at his texts. He was never a good driver, but what if? And I wish I could stop thinking about all this, I wish I didn't think about how he died right before my birthday. I wish his ex girlfriend didn't start selling his stuff to random people on the internet right after his funeral. I wish my uncle didn't call me a selfish ******* for shutting down his facebook because nether I nor my siblings could have coped with the pathetic "sorry you're dead but happy birthday in heaven" facebook posts. I wish his family cared, and that they were supportive of his children instead of getting angry because we haven't given them his stuff. I wish they knew that we haven't even been able to go through it ourselves because it's too painful. I wish I could have said goodbye.