Your theme song?

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Hard choice considering every song on my phone describes my life right now. Save Yourself by My Darkest Days is a close second but this one is always number one.
 
The English version of Miso Soup by Tegomass. I can't link it but it's easy enough to find via Google.

It perfectly sums up the experience of moving to a new place by yourself for the first time and the loneliness that it can bring. I first moved out of my parents house at 18, and while I've gone back and forth between their house and my own places in the past five years, I still find this song as relatable now as I did then.

A few lines I really identify with:

  • "I'm always a kid. I'll never be mature enough."
  • "Never asked for anything. You gave me all the love you had."
  • "Nothing much better to do than just watch TV at home "
  • "So I'd never get lost, you would always hold my hand."
  • "I got used to being alone."
  • "I always wonder if you're [mom] doing fine."
  • "Life in the city is not everything. Come back home anytime."

That last one tends to make me tear up. For one, I come from a little town on the coast and when I've moved it's been to big towns/cities for the purpose of studying - it just makes me question sometimes if it's even worth it, especially at times I've struggled with my studies and considered dropping out. Then there's just something about that line, "come back home anytime", that is just this heavy reminder that if you've made the decision to leave yourself the doors are always open - and your parents actually want to see you. Which is sometimes hard for me to remember when I'm constantly being pressured about going back to university for honours (4th) year, whether or not I'm going to apply for a Masters, and my new apartment. It's like they just constantly want to talk about me leaving and I'd rather enjoy the final month of my summer holidays in peace and organising the move at my own pace - I don't want to be rushed or reminded that I'm leaving soon. I want to relax and enjoy the luxury of not having to wake up til noon, or that I can spend all day playing video games, etc. These days are numbered and I want to make the most of them and instead I'm just getting stressed by them constantly wanting to discuss the future. I'm excited to go, yes, but I'm going to miss this peace and the fact they're always around and I don't want the constant reminders that it's not going to be this way for much longer. I know they're just looking out for me, but it's frustrating at the same time.

Kind of went off on a tangent, oops. But this song just really summarises how it feels to be a young adult out on your own in a big, busy city and never really feeling like you're quite grown-up enough or really belong in that environment.
 
Probably this:


I know, it doesn't make sense when you consider it being someone's theme. However, there's something about it that reminds me of a pleasant daydream- which I tend to slip into a lot.
 
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