samsquared
飛べ
Salutations, citizen!
Have you ever considered buying shoddy animu drawings of yourself or your OCs offered, forcefully and zealously, to you by somebody you don't like, care about, or even know? Well then, do I have the deal for you!
Starting at the fabulous price of [your tbt offer here], you can own one of these magnificent poops to hang on your wall, hang on your boyfriend's wall, hang on your ceiling, paint on your ceiling, replace your ceiling with, replace with your ceiling, wipe your hands on, make love to, laugh at, criticize, trace over and claim as your own, upload it directly to DeviantArt and claim as your own, throw a quincea?ara, burn and smell the ashes, and so many other useful applications!
Now, you must be thinking: "Surely at that low quality you must be able to crank these out fairly quickly."
Ahahaha! Citizen! Are you forgetting that I am a turtle? I may say I am working posthaste, but posthaste to a turtle is the speed of bottled molasses pouring out of a narrow bottleneck bottle. Because this isn't my freebie thread, you might wait a week, give or take seven days, before getting your very own shoddy animu painting. I will be doing my very berry best to make your requested shoddy painting less terrible than it would be if it were free considering that I expend about zero cents on every freebie and zero effort and zero cents on the ones I deem unworthy of my interest. Don't worry! I will do my best to see that you get the full value of your [your tbt offer here] if that means I have to redraw it only once because what do you think i have all of the time in the world
What I do not offer by shoving in your face are drawings of animals. Villagers and gijinka are accepted, but animals are just not on the menu at Chez Turtl?. Also, as the artist can hardly be called an adult, I do not offer nudes. Plus, I am very body-conscious and am already jealously judging your potential lady-of-the-night against myself, so please stop thinking of who you might want nudes of.
If you have questions, feel free to ask! After all, I am just shoving myself onto you- if you don't bat me away, you are entitled to say whatever you might want~!
unless its that i suck in that case gtfo loser
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