Why does being male make you a potential predator?

[Jeremy]

Article: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703779704576073752925629440.html?

Last week, the lieutenant governor of Massachusetts, Timothy Murray, noticed smoke coming out of a minivan in his hometown of Worcester. He raced over and pulled out two small children, moments before the van's tire exploded into flames. At which point, according to the AP account, the kids' grandmother, who had been driving, nearly punched our hero in the face.

Why?

Mr. Murray said she told him she thought he might be a kidnapper.

And so it goes these days, when almost any man who has anything to do with a child can find himself suspected of being a creep. I call it "Worst-First" thinking: Gripped by pedophile panic, we jump to the very worst, even least likely, conclusion first. Then we congratulate ourselves for being so vigilant.

Consider the Iowa daycare center where Nichole Adkins works. The one male aide employed there, she told me in an interview, is not allowed to change diapers. "In fact," Ms. Adkins said, "he has been asked to leave the classroom when diapering was happening."

Now, a guy turned on by diaper changes has got to be even rarer than a guy turned on by Sponge Bob. But "Worst-First" thinking means suspecting the motives of any man who chooses to work around kids.

Maybe the daycare center felt it had to be extra cautious, to avoid lawsuits. But regular folk are suspicious, too. Last February, a woman followed a man around at a store berating him for clutching a pile of girls' panties. "I can't believe this! You're disgusting. This is a public place, you pervert!" she said?until the guy, who posted about the episode on a website, fished out his ID. He was a clerk restocking the underwear department.

Given the level of distrust, is it any wonder that, as the London Telegraph reported last month, the British Musicians' Union warned its members they are no longer to touch a child's fingers, even to position them correctly on the keys? Or that a public pool in Sydney, Australia last fall prohibited boys from changing in the same locker room as the men? (According to the Daily Telegraph in Sydney, the men demanded this, fearing false accusations.)

What's really ironic about all this emphasis on perverts is that it's making us think like them. Remember the story that broke right before Christmas? The FBI warned law-enforcement agencies that the new Video Barbie could be used to make kiddie porn. The warning was not intended for the public but it leaked out. TV news celebrated the joy of the season by telling parents that any man nice enough to play dolls with their daughters could really be videotaping "under their little skirts!" as one Fox News reporter said.

This queasy climate is making men think twice about things they used to do unselfconsciously. A friend of mine, Eric Kozak, was working for a while as a courier. Driving around an unfamiliar neighborhood, he says, "I got lost. I saw a couple kids by the side of the road and rolled down my window to ask, 'Where is such-and-such road?' They ran off screaming."

Another dad told me about taking his three-year-old to play football in the local park, where he'd help organize the slightly older kids into a game. Over time, one of the kids started to look up to him. "He wanted to stand close to me, wanted approval, Dad stuff, I guess. And because of this whole 'stranger danger' mentality, I could sense this sort of wary disapproval from the few other parents at the playground. So I just stopped going."

And that's not the worst. In England in 2006, BBC News reported the story of a bricklayer who spotted a toddler at the side of the road. As he later testified at a hearing, he didn't stop to help for fear he'd be accused of trying to abduct her. You know: A man driving around with a little girl in his car? She ended up at a pond and drowned.

We think we're protecting our kids by treating all men as potential predators. But that's not a society that's safe. Just sick.

 

[fitzy]

Some people are just waaay over the top. Because of it, it's hard for men to get certain jobs, such as primary school teaching (Primary school in Ireland, kids from about 4-12) which I am interested in...and that's not because of the kids . I'm pretty sure you're not even going to be allowed in the room without a female...because you're a male.

 

[Bacon Boy]

That's what it's like at camp for me. We're not aloud to go into the boy's bathroom without another staff member present during working hours for fear of speculation. One kid in my group last year had his mom put in $40 for snack food money. So, my councilor would take him periodically throughout the day and leave the rest of the kids with me to go out and get him some snacks so that the rest of his money wouldn't just be given to the camp as a donation. They would have lost $20. So, the mom thought him taking her kid away from the group alone would result in something bad. 1) It's impossible to be alone at that camp. 2) They screen EVERYONE before letting them in. Regardless, the next day, the kid wasn't there and my councilor received a personal visit from the camp director on behalf of the mom's request. Of course nothing was going on, but the mom figured "it's a guy with my kid, so he must be doing something!". It makes our job so much harder as guys at a summer camp.

 

[Brad]

That's just crazy! Women have been known to do things to males as well. So does that mean in the far future when I have kids if their Teacher is women will I have the right to be paranoid for no reason? No! Not everybody wants your children!

 

[SamXX]

Not everybody wants your children!

This.

 

[Jeremy]

That's what it's like at camp for me. We're not aloud to go into the boy's bathroom without another staff member present during working hours for fear of speculation. One kid in my group last year had his mom put in $40 for snack food money. So, my councilor would take him periodically throughout the day and leave the rest of the kids with me to go out and get him some snacks so that the rest of his money wouldn't just be given to the camp as a donation. They would have lost $20. So, the mom thought him taking her kid away from the group alone would result in something bad. 1) It's impossible to be alone at that camp. 2) They screen EVERYONE before letting them in. Regardless, the next day, the kid wasn't there and my councilor received a personal visit from the camp director on behalf of the mom's request. Of course nothing was going on, but the mom figured "it's a guy with my kid, so he must be doing something!". It makes our job so much harder as guys at a summer camp.

Do they do the same for girls?

 

[Bacon Boy]

Do they do the same for girls?

Nope, only guys.

 

[Jeremy]

Nope, only guys.

Sexism!

 

[Megamannt125]

Welcome to the world of feminism, where equality actually means sexism towards males!

 

[Mino]

Welcome to the world of feminism, where equality actually means sexism towards males!

You're conflating feminism with pedophile paranoia. You're insulting the former while strengthening the case for the latter.

 

[Ron Ronaldo]

I've worked at a summer camp for little kids, and they do this to girls too. We can't touch them at all, which gets tricky if the kids run up and hug you or something. <:|

 

[Sporge27]

Yeah it is just stupid. Fact is abusing kids is bad, but most people don't.... period.

Places like schools and camps already have rules in place to help prevent these awful acts, and really those are a bit paranoid already, so any further paranoia a parent has is really unwarranted...

 

[Megamannt125]

You're conflating feminism with pedophile paranoia. You're insulting the former while strengthening the case for the latter.

The idea behind the topic was the fact that males makes you more likely at being thought of as a pedophile. Which is partly due to radical feminism.

 

[Mino]

The idea behind the topic was the fact that males makes you more likely at being thought of as a pedophile. Which is partly due to radical feminism.

Hardly. I'd say America's obsessive fear of pedophilia has its roots in anti-gay bigotry. Surely you've come across the toxic notion that all male homosexuals are secretly pedophiles, no? Radical feminism has plenty of nutty things to say, but it's not them who created pedophile hysteria.

 

[Chimera]

I think the paranoia is over the top. It's become a first instinct suspicion. And it's starting to get really bad.

 

[Zex]

thats ridicadonky

 

[Ciaran]

Because more men actually are pedophiles etc.

Just speaking the truth.

 

[coffeebean!]

This made me angry. That is all.

 

[Jeremy]

Hardly. I'd say America's obsessive fear of pedophilia has its roots in anti-gay bigotry. Surely you've come across the toxic notion that all male homosexuals are secretly pedophiles, no? Radical feminism has plenty of nutty things to say, but it's not them who created pedophile hysteria.

I can't say I've heard that before.

 

[Chimera]

A couple pedophiles give men a bad reputation.