What's Bothering You?

Someone very close to me is leaving. I've known him since 8th grade. I'm really going to miss him, and it's very upsetting to me. I really hope he changes his mind.

Edit: He's leaving Thursday.
 
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at this point, i feel that i need to stop having aspirations for the future because it seems that when i do, i come to the extremely harsh realization that it probably wouldn't even work out or that it simply just cant be done because of my disability. and it really hurts.
 
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is it weird that I'm getting tired of reading about anime stuff in my news feed? like I keep seeing articles about MHA and DragonBall and I'm like 😫😫 I honestly feel bad bc I'm sure they're good, I think it's bc my ex talked abt it constantly and now I associate it with him so I don't like to hear about it.
 
I quit my job of 6 or 7 years, because I couldn't handle all the stuff with the aforementioned friend who drove drunk the other night. Basically told my boss that I needed to remove myself entirely from the situation for my own clarity. I've been too close to her for too long (we have a history of being romantically involved)...there is so much more to it than that, but the short end of the story is that she is spiraling, and I will go right along with her if I'm close to it. - This might sound like I'm abandoning her in her time of need, but she has been pushing me away for a solid month anyway (probably closer to a month and a half). - I told her I quit, and told her why, and she actually said "I wonder if you really did quit or not." (As if to suggest that I was only lying to get a reaction or something). It has been so hard with her. It really pains me deeply.

She really was/is my best friend. We went from doing everything together, to her constantly telling me that she needed space, which I tried to give her. (If she is dating someone, I don't mind...I always tried to communicate clearly with her)...but she is at a point where it feels like I barely matter to her anymore, and I don't understand this at all. But I won't be party to it any longer (even if being out of work is going to be very difficult for me)...I will manage. - It just wasn't working with her ignoring me outside of work and then acting like we were still close when she would see me at work. It left me feeling gaslit and used. And other people were noticing this as well. The entire situation was getting too bizarre to continue.
 
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The manager I don’t get along with is talking very loudly to one of his coworker friends. He’s going to order Chinese food with his group of friends on Friday. I’m friends with one of his friends and he clearly feels some type of way about me. He blatantly said to his friend that he’d rather her work with him because they’re friends. I’m trying to be cordial with him and even tried to be friends at one point but he doesn’t want to give me the time of day, or at least it seems that way. I can’t “be friends” with him if he doesn’t want to be cordial with me. It bothers me because he seems to want to talk with everyone else, but I’m here to work. I do my job. There’s a reason I’m getting 40+ hours a week ONLY washing dishes. I worked hard to get to this position. When I first started, I was told I couldn’t get full-time as a dish. Now, that same person is giving me 40+ hours.

I don’t know why he feels this way about me. I don’t know if I’m jumping to conclusions. I just feel that he doesn’t like me as a person, and it sucks when I care about what other people think of me.
 
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Super tired. Today I studied and tried to organize my closet and wardrobe and I’m still not even done. I envy the people that clean as stress relief.
 
I've spent how-many-hours (I think it was 2 or 3) and I'm still stuck on my math work. I could've done other homework or play video games or literally anything else of importance, but I decided to waste my time on math that I don't even understand, and only to not finish it after all. I'll have to ask my teacher for help tomorrow, because my dumb *** doesn't know how to do parallel and perpendicular lines.
 
sooooo my dad tested positive for covid. again. 🙃
and bc he tends to be really unhygienic and unsanitary I would not be surprised if my mom and I ended up getting it as well. which really sucks bc then I'll prob have to miss work and then I'll be losing money.

it's funny how both times we have had covid here it's been because of my dad and never me or my mom 🤔🤔
 
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