i'm on the verge of tears at how bad my life is getting. i've missed several important deadlines, i'm about to fail 2 exams in 2 different classes, i've skipped out on a few research papers that are a good chunk of my grade all due to depression. i hate myself for being so unmotivated i hate hate hate it and i don't know what to do because i'm going to fail my classes and then what??? my parents will kick me out because i'm not trying hard enough and i'm going to spiral even further. i've ****ed up and there's no way to fix it anymore. i've debated on dropping out of college because i am so stressed all the time and it just leads me to doing nothing because i can't deal with it.
i'm so uncomfortable at my school. i don't like any of my classes or professors. i don't have any friends here because i've not been making an effort to find any and now the 'introduction period' is over and i feel awkward trying to talk to people now.
i feel like i need to drop out but i don't know what i'd do afterwards. i just don't feel like i'm doing myself any good staying in this university getting horrible grades, i should come back when i've got whatever issues i have sorted out but there's no way for me to explain this to anyone. i'm going to be labeled as a lazy entitled millennial and that's going to be the end of that. i'm so scared and i don't know what to do, none of my friends are taking me seriously because in high school i graduated with a near perfect gpa, i took ap classes for two solid years, dual enrolled at a community college for a year; i was the complete opposite as i am now & no one thinks that i could have gotten this bad.