so a few days ago I posted a very near suicide note and I got lots of nice comments, all good right?
Well, I don't think I'm improving. At all. My friend (who's supposed to be my best friend yet she wrote the shortest response to my note out of all of them) called me a ***** the other day for being moody (she got a message from my crush telling her how she shouldn't take any notice of me) and all the rest of my friends act like nothing's ever happened. All the attention goes to my friend because she's friendlier than me and she always makes new friends from the ones that are drifting away from meI always feel like a background character in the film of her life and I'm so ****ing sick of feeling this way. People told me this was going to get better but I really really don't think it will. People are prettier than me, more confident than me, more and more prioritised than me and when I try to reach out it's only the ones that took a sharp (sometimes staged) decline into this hell than a progressive decline that get the help. I really am thinking of just ending it all but I know I'm too much of a wimp because when I tried to slit my wrists I only managed to make a tiny scar and no one saw so I wish I cut deeper.
Well, I don't think I'm improving. At all. My friend (who's supposed to be my best friend yet she wrote the shortest response to my note out of all of them) called me a ***** the other day for being moody (she got a message from my crush telling her how she shouldn't take any notice of me) and all the rest of my friends act like nothing's ever happened. All the attention goes to my friend because she's friendlier than me and she always makes new friends from the ones that are drifting away from meI always feel like a background character in the film of her life and I'm so ****ing sick of feeling this way. People told me this was going to get better but I really really don't think it will. People are prettier than me, more confident than me, more and more prioritised than me and when I try to reach out it's only the ones that took a sharp (sometimes staged) decline into this hell than a progressive decline that get the help. I really am thinking of just ending it all but I know I'm too much of a wimp because when I tried to slit my wrists I only managed to make a tiny scar and no one saw so I wish I cut deeper.
