Wanting to be alone

[namiieco]

I've always been a loner and introvert but lately I feel like it's gotten way worse. I'm starting to distance myself from friends and I've even tried to avoid my 2 really close friends sometimes. I get annoyed at my family over nothing and I just really want to be alone all the time. I really don't know how to handle this because it is really lonely but it's not like I want to surround myself with people or anything.

 

[treetops]

I know how you exactly feel. As I get older, I just love to be alone and figure out my own problems. I know that I have my friends and family who can help me out, but for me, getting guidance from other people feels like it would only make things worse. Which is really weird, because at the same time, I'm getting lonely more and more and I also could use more friends in my life, especially since I only have two, which I don't see that often.

Have you ever talked to somebody about overcoming your loneliness before?

 

[namiieco]

I know how you exactly feel. As I get older, I just love to be alone and figure out my own problems. I know that I have my friends and family who can help me out, but for me, getting guidance from other people feels like it would only make things worse. Which is really weird, because at the same time, I'm getting lonely more and more and I also could use more friends in my life, especially since I only have two, which I don't see that often.

Have you ever talked to somebody about overcoming your loneliness before?

No, never. I don't usually share my personal feelings with anyone because I have this everlasting fear that they will judge me because when I told my old 'friend' about my depression she judged me, told everyone and then left me :/

 

[Fleshy]

I think there's two main ways or reasons that someone distances themselve, the first being because they genuinely want to be alone, they're just happiest on their own and don't really get lonely or otherwise feel negative when they distance themself. The other when someone distances themselve from others because they "want to be alone" but feel lonely and down when they do. If you're the first then it makes sense and distancing yourself is probably okay, but to me it sounds more like you're the second as you mentioned lonliness.

It's hard though, you want to be alone, so you distance yourself, then you're lonely, but at the same time, don't want to surround yourself with people. I think the fact that you have two close friends is a good thing, it's hard but try not to avoid or distance yourself from them, you don't have to speak to them all the time or anything, but just making sure that they're there for you would be good. You mentioned being angry too, if you have other things going on or other issues, that would explain why you're distancing yourself. This mentions tips for dealing with loneliness, I think it's written for a person who who has other mental health issues, but it might help regardless. If the lonliness is really starting to bother you and you keep distancing yourself, there might be someone you can talk to about dealing with / overcoming lonliness, either a specialist, or confide in one of your close friends if you can trust them?

 

[tae]

find ways to occupy yourself and make alone time less intolerable until you find a way to bench back out and close the distance again. my entire life I've been hot or cold towards friendships and everything comes and goes in sets of waves basically.. so i know how you feel when you push ppl away and distance yourself when you really don't wanna. try out new hobbies and cooing mechanisms until you find what works best for you.

- - - Post Merge - - -

sorry it's 6am I've been up all night and autocorrect is never your friend.

 

[namiieco]

I think there's two main ways or reasons that someone distances themselve, the first being because they genuinely want to be alone, they're just happiest on their own and don't really get lonely or otherwise feel negative when they distance themself. The other when someone distances themselve from others because they "want to be alone" but feel lonely and down when they do. If you're the first then it makes sense and distancing yourself is probably okay, but to me it sounds more like you're the second as you mentioned lonliness.

It's hard though, you want to be alone, so you distance yourself, then you're lonely, but at the same time, don't want to surround yourself with people. I think the fact that you have two close friends is a good thing, it's hard but try not to avoid or distance yourself from them, you don't have to speak to them all the time or anything, but just making sure that they're there for you would be good. You mentioned being angry too, if you have other things going on or other issues, that would explain why you're distancing yourself. This mentions tips for dealing with loneliness, I think it's written for a person who who has other mental health issues, but it might help regardless. If the lonliness is really starting to bother you and you keep distancing yourself, there might be someone you can talk to about dealing with / overcoming lonliness, either a specialist, or confide in one of your close friends if you can trust them?

Thank you I'll read that

find ways to occupy yourself and make alone time less intolerable until you find a way to bench back out and close the distance again. my entire life I've been hot or cold towards friendships and everything comes and goes in sets of waves basically.. so i know how you feel when you push ppl away and distance yourself when you really don't wanna. try out new hobbies and cooing mechanisms until you find what works best for you.

- - - Post Merge - - -

sorry it's 6am I've been up all night and autocorrect is never your friend.

Okay I'll try that ^ ^

 

[Acruoxil]

I can't relate much with you but having someone to confide in helps!! You know if you have someone to share all your troubles and happy moments life actually feels good and fun!

 

[treetops]

No, never. I don't usually share my personal feelings with anyone because I have this everlasting fear that they will judge me because when I told my old 'friend' about my depression she judged me, told everyone and then left me :/

Ah, I see. I do know that feeling of being judged as well because I've went through something similar to you as well, but I always try and ask others regardless. It's so easy to be worried about something, especially after a certain event in your life. But do keep in mind that it isn't much better to keep it to yourself your whole life. That would make things a lot worse.

I unfortunately don't have much advice to give because I'm no good with dealing with loneliness either, but I do know that if I want to talk to somebody, I just do so without holding back. It's really terrifying at first because it's easy to think that you're out to judge other people, but when others reply back to you positively, you feel very relieved. Even if nobody replies back to you, it isn't going to be all bad.

I can send a PM to you and we can talk about anything if you want to, though! C:

 

[namiieco]

I can't relate much with you but having someone to confide in helps!! You know if you have someone to share all your troubles and happy moments life actually feels good and fun!

Thanks

- - - Post Merge - - -

Ah, I see. I do know that feeling of being judged as well because I've went through something similar to you as well, but I always try and ask others regardless. It's so easy to be worried about something, especially after a certain event in your life. But do keep in mind that it isn't much better to keep it to yourself your whole life. That would make things a lot worse.

I unfortunately don't have much advice to give because I'm no good with dealing with loneliness either, but I do know that if I want to talk to somebody, I just do so without holding back. It's really terrifying at first because it's easy to think that you're out to judge other people, but when others reply back to you positively, you feel very relieved. Even if nobody replies back to you, it isn't going to be all bad.

I can send a PM to you and we can talk about anything if you want to, though! C:

Okay, I'm thinking of telling one of my 2 close friends c:
I'll be sure to pm you if I need help ;v; thanks

 

[That Zephyr Guy]

This definitely sounds less like an introvert issue and more like something else.

I'm fairly introverted and when I need my time alone, it feels very distinct. I won't be able to focus on whatever I'm doing, my negative emotions won't leave me, and naturally I won't have the energy to fix any of it either. I basically feel like I'm in a haze.


You might want to look into why you're avoiding your friends though, because I used to do that when I was in a bad place and it wasn't very healthy.

 

[namiieco]

This definitely sounds less like an introvert issue and more like something else.

I'm fairly introverted and when I need my time alone, it feels very distinct. I won't be able to focus on whatever I'm doing, my negative emotions won't leave me, and naturally I won't have the energy to fix any of it either. I basically feel like I'm in a haze.


You might want to look into why you're avoiding your friends though, because I used to do that when I was in a bad place and it wasn't very healthy.

hmm okay, yeah im not the best at the moment

 

[Celestefey]

Yeah this sounds a little like a symptom of depression. Not saying that it IS depression, but it's not really healthy behaviour. I am introverted but I still like being around other people and hanging out but I can't go out everyday in large crowds or else I kind of become exhausted.

Alone time is good, everyone needs some breathing space where they can think and just relax with no pressure of other people around you, but at the same time, it's important to interact with other people. You need a balance between the two, and this desire to be alone is really not good for you. If anything it could become detrimental to your mental health and wellbeing which is something I wouldn't want to happen to you... Because I have had it happen to me. There was a time when I just wanted to be alone, I didn't want to be around others, and I was so low and down and depressed... And the fact that I was alone, indoors all day, did not help me at all. If anything it made things worse. I kept telling myself being alone was making me better but it wasn't.

I'm not saying that you MUST be suffering with depression, that's down to your own insight, but at the same time, it's not healthy behaviour to want to always be alone. Even if you may not want to chat to your friends, try to speak to them when you can, and at least tell them about how you're feeling so they know not to take it personally. They may be understanding and try to help you in whatever way they can - whether by that they give you a bit more space or they try to spend more time with you face to face just to ensure you get some "human interaction" (not to sound patronising). And you should try to at least find things to keep you busy in the meantime. Whether that's drawing, painting, writing, watching a film/TV programme, playing a game, exercising, listening to music, whatever, do something that will completely take up your mind so that you cannot focus on these more lonely and isolating thoughts. Even when you are alone, when you are busy doing something, it shifts your brain onto something different and stimulates your mind. So it's much healthier than sitting around doing nothing you know?

I hope this helps a little bit. I do know how you feel, it's not a nice feeling, and it's good to know that you are open about your feelings and you recognise them. Because from there you will start to work out how to cope with this issue in a way that makes you feel better and maintains your own mental wellbeing.

 

[LunarMako]

I love being alone. It can get too lonely sometimes though. I have no people skills. >_<

 

[Trent the Paladin]

This definitely sounds less like an introvert issue and more like something else.

Backing this opinion as well. I like to be alone often as well as people and gatherings and the like really tired me out even if I don't do anything, but usually when I'm going out of my way to avoid folks it's because of a different issue.

 

[Llust]

thats one thing you dont want to do, disconnecting yourself from everyone. its one thing to want to be alone and thats fine, but youre going to need people on standby. i tried doing this a few years ago, convincing myself i didnt need anyone and lost touch with everyone around me to the point where it would be weird if i were to pop back into the group, making it harder to socialize if i wanted to. as much as you want to try telling yourself otherwise, you cant be alone forever.

 

[Aquari]

i do the exact same, and i never text or visit, because i feel like i'll be a nuisance to them so i spend my days alone and on the web

 

[Llust]

i do the exact same, and i never text or visit, because i feel like i'll be a nuisance to them so i spend my days alone and on the web

trust me, you wont be a nuisance. someone has to text first, and they cant read your mind so if you want to hang out then ask. be friendly, thats all

 

[Nena]

I so love my solitude

 

[AppleCracker]

My best tip is to talk to someone. Whether it be your family or a doctor

 

[Mr. Cat]

Yeah, I'm like that too 100%. Then I got diagnosed with autism and everything made a lot more sense. Something that helped a lot with those feelings for me was meditation. I still have all the physical problems while socializing though, which you probably don't have (blurry vision, hearing things way too loud, dyslexic speech, delayed reactions), but I can keep my cool much better now.