Villagers being real friends, is this kind of pathetic?

[Shawna]

It's okay to have a connection with your villagers. I sure do, and when I find other people who do, I don't feel so weird about it.

Like a lot of people said, it's kinda like having a stuffed animal, etc.
If people have the right to love animals more than their own kind--people (which can make sense if you think about it), then you have the right to have a connect with the villagers.

Because sometimes they seem nicer than some people.

 

[Munna]

Hey.. just wanted to give you some encouragement..

I have depression and because of it I haven't been going to school since May. And I've stopped talking to my friends completely as they have forgotten my existence. I think it's perfectly fine to confide in animal crossing for care and comfort. The game actually is helping me a lot. If not for it forcing me to get up and find fossils and do deeds for my villagers, I wouldn't even care what time of the day it is. I wouldn't get out of bed. I don't dare to even try and contact my real life friends but at least I can do it with computers... I don't know.. It just helps me get into a "daily life" kinda routine... even if it's virtual it benefits me a lot

A frequent thing I tell myself whenever I feel suicidal at night is that yes, life may suck. Yes, I have no friends or a reason to live. But Ruby will be lonely if I don't be there tomorrow to play. I want to build a snowman tomorrow. The shops will have new items tomorrow. My flowers will grow and I can serve Ruby her favourite Blue Mountain with lots of milk and sugar and she'll compliment me and love me so much.........

You're not weird. You're helping yourself

This is beautiful, thanks for sharing!

OP, I was thinking that there is nothing pathetic about having a completely logical reaction to a lonely situation. What you are doing makes sense. You have a gameplan:

1) Keep trying to make friends & put yourself out there.

2) Play a happy game like ACNL, make the friends you can make in the game while you wait for the "real" ones.

3) Keep yourself as happy & sane in an extremely lonely & depressing situation as possible.

4) Tangy keeps me sane.
I have friends, but I still consider my villagers friends. I feel that people give the characters a sort of energy & they become real in our hearts & minds.

This is actually a pretty normal coping mechanism, and it's a show of resilience & intelligence that you have been resourceful enough to find connections where ever you can.

- - - Post Merge - - -

One of the things I really love about these forums is the fact that we are all varying ages and therefore, have different levels of life experience. Sweetie-pie, I know enough about you from your posts to know you struggle with the 'real world' if that is what we are calling it. How real that world actually is is pretty subjective at this point if you ask me. Listen, as long as you can function successfully enough out there to hold a job and be able to take care of yourself (because you must continue to take care of yourself so you can eat and have a place to live), whatever you want to believe about your AC game is up to you. Do I find you pathetic? Of course not. You are a sensitive, beautiful and very thoughtful human being. I empathize with your struggle and as an empath, I, more than most, feel your pain as my own. We all have things we rely on in this life to take away the pain when things outside our doors get too hard or too real. And I see absolutely nothing wrong with relying on these cute little pixels to get you through this obviously painful and difficult time in your life. Many friends here made a point to let you know that they are here for you. So my advice would be this: strike a balance. Spend time with your AC friends in the game and then spend time with your AC friends on the forums. As many have said, there are all sorts of wonderful people here. But the best and most honest advice I can give you is this: stop thinking, talking and advertising the fact that you consider yourself or worry that others consider you as pathetic. You must retrain your brain to stop using labels that are so self-destructive. They will not serve you. They will ensnare you and assure a lifetime of misery. Look at these four pages of friends who gave their time and energy to read your words and reply. I must give a shout out to Andy particularly for his replies. Way to go, bro. Namstar, I know how much you struggle and I understand. I wish I could provide some magic words, but there aren't any. There is just time and experience. Life ebbs and flows and you are simply stagnating right now. But rain will come one day, open up the little puddle that keeps you trapped and you will rejoin the river. Just remember that your job is to keep paddling. I send you all my love, sweetie.

BEAUTIFUL!!!

That is so kind. I was pretending you were also saying that to me, because I can relate to Namstar so much here, and this thread is very comforting.
I value you & them for having the guts to say it first. Amazing.

I better head off...it's 3am!

 

[Cosmic Moonlight]

I don't have any friends in real life or on the internet nor have I ever, but I really do think it's pathetic to consider a video game character to be your friend. She asked a question and I responded with how I felt. What's the point of asking a question in a thread if you don't want responses from both sides?

Well... Doesn't that kinda mean you should try and be a little nicer? I mean if you want to have friends, then saying mean stuff like that is not going to get you anywhere :C

Anyway, as to the question... I think it is perfectly acceptable and is not pathetic at all. I think the game was made for people going through tough times and for the villagers to comfort you. They most certainly have helped me, even if they are just NPC's that have been programmed into saying various things based on their personality. But I don't care, I still view each villager as a unique little person. I love my villagers a lot <3

 

[Kapriznyy]

(You catch more flies with honey, etc etc!)

I think most of us use this game as an escape or coping mechanism of sorts, even if we don't realize it and it's not very extreme. If you've had a bad day and look forward to playing New Leaf, for example, then your town is obviously important to you, because it relieves your stress and allows you to focus on something positive. You may not rely on the game for the same kind of support that many people in this thread do, but it still does something to boost your spirits, and that makes it invaluable.

There will always be judgmental people, and their words will always sting, but at the end of the day, if what you're doing makes you happy and is a positive influence in your life at this time, and it doesn't hurt anyone... hold onto that, because that's a wonderful thing.

 

[chiisaisuzume]

You know, I'm actually realizing a lot just by reading through this thread.

A lot of (not necessarily all) people seem to forget the importantence of peace and how we should act as a family, as we all live on the planet called Earth. As sad and depressing as this is, it is hard for most people to give other people a chance who really needs a friend. If there is one thing I could bring to this world, it would be true peace!
I think our main purpose here on this planet is to make friends with as many people as possible. It can be tough because, nowadays, people have a hard time cooperating and being there unconditionally.

I think a good lesson Animal Crossing teaches us is that we should always be there for the people who matter most, no matter what. Villagers go out of their way for us, they give us medicine if we get a bee sting, they take the time to give us something they think we'd like, they invite us over to chat with us a little more, they worry when we work too hard. Even when we might be in a bad mood, they still do these things for us. Why? Because they care about us unconditionally. And I think the message behind this is that real life should be the same, but it rarely like that in the real world anymore.

If people started to give one another a chance, we wouldn't have to deal with everyday-but-serious problems like bullying, depression, suicide, crime, etc. (at least not as often).

I really love the meaning behind this topic. It's really gotten me to think about a lot. I am very thankful that this is a very understanding, friendly, loving community. ♥

I've always thought that part of why Animal Crossing is the way it is, is to perhaps teach people those values that they mightn't have gotten from others, or--sadly--haven't experienced. Sometimes it comes off a little silly (villager asking for a fruit when the tree is two steps away), but it's still giving you the choice to make, and you're rewarded in some fashion for choosing well, even if it's only a hearty "thank you". ^_^

 

[shannenenen]

Animal Crossing does several things for me. It's a kind of coping mechanism for me, yes, because I'm able to escape the real world and live in a town where I have friends. The animals in my town are definitely considered my friends. I love all of them, even the ones that I'm trying to get out, because they love me unconditionally. In addition, the responsibilities I have as mayor are actually fun. My secretary appreciates me, and Isabelle's one of my closest friends. That's more than I can say for most people I know.

I love having friends in the game, it gives me a chance to have someone to talk to even when I'm completely alone- and that happens a lot. They all care about me and really appreciate me, which is something I can't say about people I know in real life. I can write them letters, and they may not know the best way to respond, but they still care. Even with depression and anxiety, they can still care about me and I love that.

 

[Nayab]

Animal Crossing is something of a stress reliever for me, and I have an attachment to my villagers but to me their more like "virtual pets" than "friends". A little in the same vein as Pok?mon, and in Pok?mon's case I'm even more attached because I've had some of my little pocket monsters for about a decade irl. On one level, I know they're just data, but my original Blaziken from Sapphire version is older than my friendship with most of my real world friends and older than my actual pet cat xD It's hard not to have some form of attachment to virtual pets who have been with you for such a long time.

 

[nintendoanna]

LMAO I THOUGHT THIS WAS A JOKE tbh i think that's kinda creepy but that's just me like I see villagers more as "pets" rather than friends especially real friends

 

[thrillingprince]

i treat them like real friends

 

[Buttonsy]

I'm in a very similar situation as you. Due to disability-related reasons, I've got fairly poor social skills and don't have many opportunities to use said poor social skills, and so I have a very, very restricted friend circle, and I'm very used to being ignored by people or treated wrongly. So having a village full of friendly, cute people who have interesting things to say, treat me well, and are around to talk almost 24 hours a day, really warms my heart and cheers me up, and it seems like the more energy I focus into Animal Crossing, the better my mental health and mood issues get. I still want to try to make friends with human beings, but my villagers really help me cope with the loneliness that comes from not being very good at that.

I don't think it's pathetic at all. I think it's great to find a way to feel better about these sorts of things, and to make friends, even from a video game. And I also really want to thank you for making this post, it kinda makes me happy that I'm not the only one who does this!!

 

[Shawna]

i treat them like real friends

Me too. lol

 

[watercolorwish]

I think its okay but wouldn't you be a little devastated if your best friend left? Maybe try befriending people within the ACNL community so you can make strong connections on certain villagers and such. We all have favorite/best friend villagers!

 

[Annika.]

No, everyone experiences games differently. It's nice that you have such a strong bond with those characters.
And people who want to talk others down aren't really people whose opinion should matter to you.

 

[Aali]

I don't think it's weird at all. Every time Moe says he's thinking of moving I feel sad and ask him not to go. If Moe ever left my town I'd be so upset. And I just got Chrissy last night and if she leaves I'll be sad because she's fun to talk to.

 

[lifequards]

I'm 15 and graduating high school with zero friends and lots of stress. So I consider my town to be my actual life.

 

[irlgarbodor]

I've been debating for a while now if I should make this thread or not, as the topic is kind of embarrassing. However, I don't know a better place than to ask and discuss this than here.
Just please don't laugh because I'm really in a bad place right now. Anyway...

Here's a kind of long-ish read about it in detail. I stuck a tl;dr version underneath, though I think reading this (if it's not too much trouble) might help to understand where I'm coming from.

Spoiler

My whole life I've never had many friends, and now, at my age, I have maybe...one person I could actually consider a friend. Otherwise I'm consistently ignored by everybody, despite how often I try to reach out to people. I have spent a lot of time and effort to make real friends, but that's not so much the point, so please don't just suggest I try harder to make friends. It's not that easy for me. My main concern is my reliance on new leaf to feel like I have actual friends.

I've found that, especially lately, I've been playing new leaf more and more to the point where I feel like I'm bordering obsession. Why? Because my villagers talk to me, compliment me, worry about me, give me cute nicknames, visit me, send me letters, worry when I don't play for a long time, and give me presents just because they want to or think I'd like it.

In the back of my mind I know that the things villagers say are just random lines generated by the game that are said to anyone who plays. I also know that these virtual worlds are not reality and at my age I shouldn't be like this. I've considered that it's possible something is really wrong with me, as I do have a history of mental illness (depression, anxiety, possibly others.)

However, after being so lonely for so long, I've found that I start to cling on to those little kind clips because it's the only time I ever feel like I'm worth anything at all. People I talk to never compliment me. Nobody worries if I'm working too hard and I look tired. Nobody ever thinks of me or just gives me a nice little thing because they thought of me. Even my family doesn't treat me like that, though they expect me to treat them that way. In fact, most people in my life are generally hostile to me and get angry at me for being depressed when 'other people have it worse.' I have no positive force in my life.

There were times I've been lonely to the point I'd sit here trying not to cry, and I'd hop on my game only to have a villager pass me a compliment or send me a letter saying they thought about me and turn my mood around. It's like a comforting, real friend that I don't have. When I'm feeling depressed during the day, I know that if I turn on my game and play one of my towns, my villagers will be really sweet to me and make me feel better. I have nobody at all who is like that in reality. Nobody likes me, period.

I'm just unsure if I should be concerned or not about so heavily relying on a video game to make me feel better about myself or feel like I'm worth anything.

tl;dr
Is it pathetic to consider my villagers my friends? Like real, actual friends?
If not pathetic, should I at least be concerned that I've come to rely on my villagers to validate my existing?

Hi! I sent you a PM in response to this post...!

 

[AppleBitterCrumble]

It's not pathetic lol! I love my villagers and how they are so "real life" like to me (giving gifts, inviting me over, giving compliments, being so darn cute)

 

[umeplum]

I don't think it's pathetic! Animal crossing is like an escape from reality. I know my villagers have been there to cheer me up when I felt down too.

 

[tae]

i think it should be a little alarming, but there's nothing wrong with acnl being an escape..
there should be a legitimate line between make-believe and reality. i don't think it's a good thing to equate a video game to real life, actual solid friendships. if that makes sense. it's a little delusional and honestly it worries me a bit.

is it pathetic? no. but it isn't healthy and i find it to be alarming.

 

[LinkToTheWorld]

I don't think it's pathetic. I think maybe it's not healthy to rely so heavily on a video game though.
I love ACNL, I play it everyday, love my villagers and don't have many real life friends either. Would also be gutted if anything happened to my game or my town, but not to the extent as you would probably be :-(
I don't know what to say to help but you are most definitely not pathetic for feeling this way.