Gaming is a hobby/activity just like art, where the person doing the activity is called the "artist". What are we supposed to call ourselves? I really think you guys are thinking too much into this. It's just a word. I never really hear it abused.
The hobbyist/artist thing is a very fair point. Some people are professionals, but it doesn't mean that people who do the same thing at a hobby-level or with a very low skill level aren't ~worthy~ of the label. If you create art of any kind, you are an artist. Whether you paint frequently or love it but don't get to DO it as much as you want to, you're still a painter, even if it's only splashing some paint on a canvas and calling it a day.
I don't think there is a way TO abuse it. It's really weird to be so defensive of a label. If you play a game, you're gaming, and in that moment you are therefore a gamer. I try to be careful of the "it's just a word" argument because it's a real slippery slope there but I feel like, in this specific instance, it applies. It harms literally no one to use it so, while I can understand it being sort of a vague pet peeve for someone, I'm really baffled that anyone is bothered by it on such levels as I'm seeing in this thread.
My sister plays the Kim Kardashian phone app game thing. It's a game, she's gaming, she's a gamer. My mom plays the DS games for Sudoku and stuff. If she wants to go ahead and call herself a gamer, it's not gonna rustle my jimmies. She is, after all,
gaming.
I spend hundreds of hours playing all kinds of platforms and consoles and genres, online and offline, tabletop and non, mushes and muds to here and back again, immersing myself in side material etc etc etc and I'm a more stereotypical example of a gamer in that it's my main hobby. But it's not gonna bother me if someone who only plays Farmville wants to call themselves a gamer. And it's not going to bother me if someone who's as hard into gaming as I am REJECTS that label, either.
Anyone who enjoys any game enough to call themselves a gamer is alright with me. I'm not going to police the use of the term. It's so silly to place so much importance on it and act like gatekeepers of the term...