Eligible ðŸŒ´ The Melursus Files 🌴

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Melursus
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TheMelursusFiles.png

THE MELURSUS FILES
the odd story of a little tropical island in the southern hemisphere

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???: Good golly, Dobie's fallen asleep and he's missed my whole party... Hey, that rhymed!


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Petri: Dobie...
Detective Dobie...
Melursus to Dobie...
WAKE UP, DOBIE! I HAVE THINGS TO DO, DOBIE!

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Dobie: Wha-HUH?! WHERE AM I? WHAT'S GOIN' ON HERE?!

Petri: You fell asleep an hour after my party started.. You sure are a heavy sleeper!

Dobie: Argh, I'm sorry Petri! I'm always fallin' asleep in places I shouldn't be. But you know how it is, at our age.

Petri: Are you calling me old?! I'll have you know that I am only 52 years young!

Dobie: Oh! Well, would you look at the time! I best be getting out of your hair, then.




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Petri: Don't forget to eat something!
There's still a bunch of party food left over, although maybe don't touch the sushi..
I forgot to put that in the fridge after everyone went home 😅


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Petri: Oh, hmm, maybe I should walk you home..

Dobie: What? Petri, I swear, sometimes it seems like you worry about me more than your own children.

Petri: I just want you to be careful. You work too hard, you know!

Dobie: I gotta split. See ya later, Petri. Thanks for inviting me to your party.

Petri: Take care, Dobie! If you need anything, I'll be in my lab!






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*Clicks recorder button*

The date today is June 5th, 30057, and the time is 7:38 AM.. I've decided to start recording my thoughts on a more regular basis. My name is Dobie and I am a detective. Well, I was retired, but recent events have forced me back on the job.

I live on a tiny, secluded island somewhere in the Indian Ocean, smack dab on the equator. It's summer year-round here in Melursus. We do get the occasional freak weather event with snow -- sometimes even the trees change colors -- but for the most part, it's always stinkin' hot.





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The weather isn't what I've been so worried about, though.
Things in Melursus have always been peaceful until suddenly they weren't anymore.

Things got real UN-peaceful.

Over the past year the population of Melursus has declined drastically, and not because of the price of rent or the general cost of living. Certainly not because of the insane amount of bugs on our little island and the complete lack of pest control.

No, citizens are not simply choosing to leave the island.






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So many citizens -- dozens of them -- vanishing without a single trace.
Their homes still full with their belongings, fridges filled with food, smartphones sitting on their bedside tables.
I can't make any sense of it.
I suspect someone or some thing is responsible for all these disappearances.
But who, or what? And why? And HOW?




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The time is now 11:19 PM. I have spent all day cleaning out my home and bringing stuff from my main office back to my house.
I figure it will save me more time if I just make my home my second office.
Not much room for personal goods or even a bed, but I think I'll just sleep on the couch from now on.
Hopefully it won't take me years to resolve this case, but who knows. Tomorrow I will finish setting up my office and then get to work.


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Maybe I should get myself a partner. Someone to go around interviewing villagers for me..
That'd be nice.

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THE MELURSUS FILES
dobie makes a new friend

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*Clicks recorder button*
Okay, I finally have my home office set up and ready to go.. It took me a couple days longer than I had originally planned; as soon as I set up my bed -- which is really my sofa -- I kept sitting down and falling asleep on the darn thing. My home is a little cramped now but it's convenient to have all my files and books in one place. Today the date is June 7th, 30057, and the current time is 8:21 AM. It's another warm, sunny day here in Melursus.


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I also spent the last two days setting up some cameras around the island.
I'm hoping I can catch the perp in action and prevent another citizen from being disappeared, but I feel like I won't be so lucky. Something tells me that whoever or whatever is responsible for all these disappearances is unlikely to show itself in plain sight.

Anyway, I have been thinking about my next move. I definitely need an assistant or a partner of some kind. Some folks on this island don't take too kindly to me asking them questions over and over again about their missing loved ones -- I need someone that knows this island inside and out, someone that knows everybody, someone... extroverted.

And I think I know just the right person -- a human, in fact.


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Wait, does this antique phone even work?
Maybe I should just use my smartphone...




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It is now... 12:36 PM. I'm sitting here at a little café in the Melursus Museum -- The Roost. A cozy little joint run by a reticent pigeon. Definitely not much of a talker. Makes great coffee, though. I think he might be my favorite resident on this peculiar island. Anyway, I'm waiting for my prospective companion. She's nearly 7 minutes late.


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???: HEY, are you talking about me? Is that a recorder in your paw?!
That's so cool and so retro! I'd say it should be in a museum but I guess it technically already is!

Dobie: GAH! Don't sneak up on an old wolf like that! You could have given me a heart attack! And you're late!

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???: I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I just got excited! You're not here to arrest me or, or like, interrogate me, are you?

Dobie: Of course not. You're not a suspect in my investigation. I will need to see some ID though before we proceed any further.

???: Okay then, here you go!

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Dobie: Thank you. So Panda -- Wait, if you're a human, why is your name Panda?

Panda: Well, I wasn't always named Panda! I changed my name legally after everyone started calling me Panda, since I'm always chewin' on a leaf.

Dobie: Huh. So you are. And what is it that you do for a living?

Panda: As the Island Representative for Melursus, I oversee the complete layout and infrastructure for the whole island! I coordinate with Isabelle and Mr. Nook to plan where buildings and pathways go. I also do a ton of gardening and farming, I pick up weeds, trash, sticks --

Dobie: Sticks? You mean to tell me that you actually go around the island cleaning up loose branches from the ground? Why would you feel the need to do that? Are you nuts?​

Panda: It's all about making Melursus look beautiful! Although I tend to disagree with Isabelle about our "over-abundance" of trees. I say you can never have too many trees. OH, and I forgot to mention -- I run a Bed and Breakfast in my spare time! Here, I brought a flyer for you!

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Dobie: The Red & Breakfast.. Interesting. So you enjoy going around picking up sticks and your entire house is filled with red furniture?

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Panda: Yeah, that's pretty much who I am!
You should come stay at the Red & Breakfast some time! I'll even give you a 50% OFF coupon!



Humans... they sure are odd creatures. They've evolved quite a bit in the past 30,000 years. They're kind of a dying species -- very rare to come across, though our TV stations play nothing but old human-made content. The only confirmed human in Melursus is Panda, although there have been rumours of another human lurking about. I was given this photo by a concerned resident, but I'm not too sure if they're just pullin' my leg or if this human actually lives here on the island.

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Anyway, I spent the rest of the day getting to know my new cohort, and as strange as she may be, I think I enjoy the company. Panda has agreed to be my assistant and she seems eager to get to the bottom of things -- find out what's really happening on our island. She may even care more than I do. She seems to love each and every one of our residents dearly. I don't know how she finds the time.

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It's now 11:50 PM and I am falling asleep. I was hoping to do some investigation today but I guess I'll have to pick it up tomorrow.
At least I'll have some help now.

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THE MELURSUS FILES
ring around the rosie

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*clicks recorder*
Dobie here -- wait, why am I saying that? Of course it's me.


...The date today is June 10th, 30057, and the current time is 6:16 AM. Panda and I spent the last few days pouring over the case files and all of my notes, but we haven't made much headway in our investigation unfortunately.

I just got off the phone with a "frog" named Sensei Ribbot -- he's one of Petri's "children" actually -- he's very worried about a client of his. Apparently a Miss Rosie hasn't turned up for her daily training session at the dojo for almost a week now. I've alerted Panda to the situation and we will be meeting at Rosie's place of residence in a half-hour to conduct a wellness check. I'm grabbing my things and headed out the door as we speak -- er, as I speak. Hopefully this Rosie dame is okay but I have a bad feeling about this.





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ROSIE'S PLACE OF RESIDENCE

Alright. The time is now 6:48 AM. I'm standing just outside Rosie's house. Panda should be here any minute now. While I wait for her to arrive, I have some observations to note.

I've knocked on the door several times and no one has answered. There are a couple of lights on inside the home. The door is locked, and I can't quite see anyone inside by looking through the window, but for all I know, she could be just out of view. There's no sign of a break-in. The yard is very clean and neat, although the grass seems to be getting a little tall. Around the back here is a cliffside -- could Rosie have fallen off the cliff into the ocean?

...I don't think so, I see no signs that would indicate an accidental fall. But we might have to have a team of divers and boats comb the ocean. Hopefully it won't come to that.


Panda: I'm heeeere! Do we know if Rosie is okay?!

Dobie: Well it's about time! And no, so far there's no sign of Rosie. Did you bring the key?

Panda: Yep yep! Here, I'll open the door for you -- I mean us! Oh, I hope Rosie is okay...

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Panda: Hellloooo? Is anybody hoooome? Rosie? Rosie???

Dobie: It doesn't look like she's here... god dang it. Well, let's have a look around, and record our observations. Maybe we can find some clues.

Panda: Hmmmm, okay.. First clue... Rosie is missing!

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Dobie: There's a bag of groceries -- now stale and mouldy upon closer inspection -- sitting on the stove. To the left are some jars of Bunnie's Famous Cherry Jam; one of the jars has been partially consumed. Not a single knife is missing from the knife block. The fridge has some food in it, faring slightly better than the food on the stove. The cupboards are full of plates, pots, pans, and dishes; nothing out of the ordinary there.

Panda: And the missing Rosie has such a cute taste in furniture!

Dobie: Irrelevant but noted.

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Panda: Oh, here's something! There's a music player here on the shelf and it's playing music! Bubblegum K.K. to be precise!

Dobie: And judging by the picture frame next to it, it seems Rosie knew a fellow victim. Purrl.

Panda: There's only clothing in this wardrobe.. No Rosie in here.

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Dobie: There's a computer here, it looks like it's turned off. On the side table is a cup of Quick Noodlez -- half full of water. It seems Rosie was about to eat right before she disappeared. The bed is nicely made.

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Panda: ACK! A cockroach! There's too many of them in here!

Dobie: An astute observation. The cockroaches are certainly taking advantage of all the food left out in the open.
Well.. it seems we've looked everywhere that we can. Rosie isn't here and it's clear that she hasn't been home for a while.

Panda: But where could she be?!

Dobie: Hmmm.. Let's go have a chat with Ribbot.




The time is now 7:30 AM. We've made our way to Ribbot's dojo. Maybe he can give us some more information that will hopefully lead to Rosie's whereabouts.

Dobie: Mr. Ribbot, do you mind if we ask you a couple of questions?

Ribbot: BZZZrt, as long as you make it quick! I want to get straight back to training! Luckily you've caught me on my lunch break!

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Dobie: Certainly. Mr. Ribbot --

Ribbot: Detective, you know you can call me Sensei Ribbot, or Sensei, or Ribbot the Almighty and Powerful!

Dobie: ....Sensei Ribbot, what is your relationship to Rosie?
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Ribbot: BzzzRRt, I told you on the phone, she's my client! She comes here to my dojo every morning and we train for 45 minutes.

Panda: Wow, I didn't know Rosie worked out so much! When is the last time you saw her?

Ribbot: Hmmmmmmmmzzrt, the last time I saw her was... 6 days ago.

Dobie: Anything out of the ordinary?

Ribbot: Nah, she seemed fine. More than fine, actually! I remember she said she was excited for lunch; she got invited to a double-date. She was in a really good mood, she did so many burpees that day!

Dobie: If she trains with you every day, why did you wait so long to request a wellness check?

Ribbot: I figured the double-date didn't go very well and she just needed some time to rest her heart muscles.. This BZZZRRtttrtt isn't the first time she's ghosted her biceps for a week straight! Rosie's always having these petty little romantic troubles! Now if you'll excuse me, I must finish my protein ice cream bar and get back to my workout!

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Panda: See ya later, Sensei Ribbot! Tell Petri I said hi!!

Dobie: Yeah, thanks for your time.​




Well, we ended up returning to my office, and reviewing our notes from the day. There isn't much to go on.
I'm hoping a goodnight's rest will help both of us out. I've sent Panda home. The time is now 12:22 AM.
Drifting off to sleep... I wonder if Ribbot dreams of electric lily pads?
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THE COMPUTER!
It turns out that rest was all I needed! I had a revelation in the middle of the night! We never thought to search Rosie's computer for information! How could we be so thoughtless?! The only problem is, I barely know my way around a computer. I'm calling up Panda right now. Oh yeah, the current time is 6:02 AM, June 11th, 30057.






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Panda: Of course I have! I'm practically a computer Amadeus! You know that thing on your desk is a computer, right?

Dobie: YES, PANDA. I keep the thing turned on 24/7. I know how to type up documents and print them, and use Goosle... but that's about it. We need to go back to Rosie's house and search her computer!

Panda: Let's do it!




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Dobie, into the recorder: It's currently 6:35 AM and we are back inside Rosie's house. Still no sign of her, and there are even more cockroaches here, nevertheless we are now going to investigate her computer.

Panda: More like Panda is going to investigate her computer! Hah! SO! Here's the thing to know about computers. They're really great for all sorts of things. Keeping up with friends, playing games, watching videos, procrastinating, internet stalking --

Dobie: Yeah, yeah, kid, I know what they can do. Just turn the dang thing on already.

Panda: Pssh, well, fine then! *boop*



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Rosie: O-M-G! FINALLY! I WAS WONDERING WHEN SOMEONE WOULD FIND ME!
Dobie and Panda: ROSIE?!

Rosie: It's-a me! Rosie! I'm in the computer! Hehe!

Dobie: Is this all an elaborate prank? How can you be inside the computer?

Panda: Rosie, do you mean that you're video calling us? Where are you? Do you need help?

Rosie: No, guys, I'm in the computer! Like, I'm actually inside the computer! I've had THE most crazy and awesome week! You won't believe it! It's like, been such an emotional rollercoaster!

Dobie: Rosie, can you tell us what happened? Did someone do this to you? Walk us through the events leading up to... this.

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Rosie: 'K, so like, I wake up at like 5 in the morning, and I'm just raring to go. I jog my little cat self on over to Sensei's dojo, and we work out. I'm like, SO psyched and I'm absolutely KILLING it! My muscles were screaming at the end of the workout sesh! After that, I walked back home and hopped in the shower because like, I was SUPER stinky. Then I made myself the most YUMMY omelette, it was totes the best omelette I've ever had! Anyway, I put on some make-up, sat in my gaming chair, and booted up my new favorite online MMORPG -- Ultimate Dream MMMDCXIV. I must have played it for like, 8 hours!​

Panda: And then what happened?!

Rosie: Well, after all that gaming, I put on my cutest outfit and I went out for lunch at The Fruit Fly... I had a double-date. You know how cute Punchy and Lolly are together, right? They're so totally right for eachother. ANYWHO, I wasn't so lucky. They paired me up with Marshal! And like yeah, he's a total dreamboat, but he spent the whole time talking about some other chick named Venus! PSH! It was NOT a love connection.​

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Rosie: After that complete let-down, I totes journeyed back to my lovely little abode, and wouldn't you know it, there was a strange thing in my mailbox! I wasn't sure what it was at first but after searching it up on Goosle, it turns out someone gifted me a piece of totally retro technology! A floppy disk! The floppy disk said it had Digital Turnips on it, and you know how I'm like, a total boss babe and love selling digital turnips online, so I was like, heck yeah let's put this thing in! But first, I had to bring in my groceries that I ordered online, and then I decided to take a nap, and when I woke up I was INSANELY hungry so I made myself some Quick Noodlez. Self-care is SO important, y'all.​

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Rosie: As I'm waiting for my Quick Noodlez to finish cooking itself, I remember the floppy disk and I'm like, Oh yeah! Let's get those turnips, girl! So after a couple minutes of searching where to put the floppy disk, I finally insert the disk and all of a sudden, I find myself inside the computer!

Dobie: So you're saying this floppy disk somehow transported you into your computer?

Rosie: I'm not like, some kind of genius! I don't know how it works! Maybe that's how floppy disks were used back then? Anywhoooo, I was like, Wow! This is neat! But I couldn't figure out how to get back outside! For a while I was so totally scared! I could see the inside of my house, and it got REAL boring, you guys. I stopped trying to leave the computer when those icky cockroaches started partying all up in my house. I think my computer went into stand-by mode after that, and I couldn't get it to turn back on. But then, the most craze-mazing thing happened!



Rosie: I was able to upload myself into my favorite game! I could finally be a real princess! Now I'm a level 88 Warrior Princess in Ultimate Dream MMMDCXIV! And, oh me gosh y'all, I met the most AMAZING guy, he saved me from being eaten by a giant! He's so sweet and SO cute and I think I'm going to run away with him, so please please please don't try to get me back out!

Panda: Omg Rosie, wait! Are you sure?!

Dobie: Rosie, before you go, I want you to think very carefully. Do you know of anyone that might have a vendetta against you? Who do you think might have planted that floppy disk?

Rosie: Oh, wow, I never even like, considered that! I don't even know! Maybe that Venus chick? I'm sure you'll figure it out! I gotta go guys! Thanks for looking for me! BYEEEEE!~
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Fervid Princess Rosie



There's a lot to process here. Finally, something to go off of in our investigation; finally, some confirmation that a person is responsible for all this. And finally, a victim that ended up being found. The time now is 9:45 PM. After Rosie left, the computer went into screensaver mode, and we tried to get the floppy disk back out.. It came out in crumbled, burnt fragments. A very strange thing indeed.

Panda had a stroke of luck, however. She thought to take a closer look at Rosie's mailbox, and underneath it she found a playing card taped to the bottom. It made me realize something... In every victim's house, somewhere on their property, I've found a playing card in an unusual place. I can't believe I never made the connection before. But this card, Rosie's card, is different.


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Queen of Diamonds... I'd haven't seen any other Queen playing cards left behind; this seems to be the first. There also hasn't been any imagery on the other cards, besides the typical suit symbol and number. This one has Rosie herself on it, and an illustration of plum blossoms.

This was definitely a calculated attack on Rosie, though I'm not sure why.


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If only I had thought to place a camera near Rosie's house.

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THE MELURSUS FILES
lonely rolling star (and the casanova)


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*Clicks recorder*
Date and time is June 18th, 30057, 5:49 AM. I've been mulling over our recent findings. Just what is it that makes Rosie so different from the rest of the missing folk? I had Panda go and check every single electronic device owned by missing villagers; not a single soul found in any of their computers, smartphones, or microwaves. I'm absolutely positive that Rosie and all of the disappearances are connected. The playing cards prove that.

There hasn't yet been any more disappearances since we last found Rosie. So far, it's business as usual in Melursus.


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Panda:
Ah geez Dobie, have you been standing in this dark room all alone again? Why don't you turn on the lights for once?

Dobie: The lights aren't on? Huh... I guess it helps me think. Less distractions this way.

Panda: Hmmm, I guess that makes sense! I'll have to try thinking in the dark some time! Have you figured anything out, yet?

Dobie: Nope. Nada. Zilch. Zero. This is one tough coconut, kid.
Wait a sec, why are you here? I didn't call you. How'd you get in my attic?

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Panda:
Oh yeah! You were being so spooky that I got totally distracted and forgot to tell you!
Miss Isabelle called me, she said it's urgent. She wants us to meet her in the Melursus Museum conference room right away.

Dobie: What for? What does she want? Has there been another disappearance?!

Panda: Mmm I don't know, she wouldn't say. She just said we need to get over there ASAP.

Dobie: Alright then. This had better be important. I got some more thinkin' to do.​




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Isabelle: Okay! Everyone's finally here! Shall we get started, Tom?

Tom Nook: Yes, yes. Be sure to take notes, Isabelle.

Isabelle: Oh, right! *begins writing in notepad*
I'm here with Mr. Tom Nook, Dr. Petri, Mr. Wilbur, Detective Dobie, and Island Representative Panda. The time is 6:02 AM!


Dobie: What's goin' on? Why are we all here?

Tom Nook: We're getting to that, Detective. Try be a little more patient, hm?
Anyway.
Dr. Petri has something very important to share with you all, and we ask that you give her your full attention. Please save any questions for the end of her presentation. Petri, the floor is yours. I'll get the lights.

Petri: Thank you for that most wonderful introduction, Thomas! And thank you all for meeting me here on such short notice! I'm, uh, afraid -- no, no wait, that's not the right word -- I'm definitely unafraid that I've got some rather interesting news!

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Petri: As you all know, a few years ago, I launched a satellite into orbit around the Earth. My main goal was to bring high-speed internet to Melursus, and that has been an amazing success! I'm pleased to announce that we have attained internet speeds of over 9,000 Mbps!

*everyone applauds; Isabelle gives a standing ovation*

Petri: Thank you, thank you! You are all so very kind to Dr. Petri! But, uh -- however, that's not why you're all here with me today. You see, my satellite is also equipped with deep space telemetry scanners, and for the past few months I've been keeping my little eye on this most anomalous meteoroid. Here's a picture, look how darling it is!

*everyone oohs and aahs*

Petri: This meteoroid has been travelling much, much faster than the speed of light. I first noticed it when it cannon-balled into our galaxy; it seemingly came out of nowhere! To be honest, I can't seem to determine where this meteoroid has originated from.​

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Petri: Now, this next slide is not as bad as it looks hopefully. By extrapolating the data accumulated over the past few months from my deep space telemetry scanners, I have calculated the trajectory of this beautiful meteoroid, and if my calculations are correct -- and let's face it, I'm a genius so they're 99.999998% likely to be correct -- then that means the meteoroid should be landing approximately 350 kilometres west of our little island.

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Petri: It's the oddest thing, though! This dainty meteoroid -- it's not much bigger than me, actually -- seems to have been slowing down. It's not acting like a normal meteroid, and that is what gives me cause for concern.

Wilbur: Are you saying this thing needs to be shot down, Doc? Wave-racer pizza pie is reporting waltz bowling is a go! I'll fly my seaplane into space! Over!

Petri: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh what? No, I don't think that will be necessary, provided the meteoroid is... friendly.​
Panda: Friendly? Is that a hint? Are you saying it's an alien?! Omg!

Petri: I'm not saying it's an alien, but... it's probably an alien. Probably.
We won't know for sure until we get a better look; my telescope is unable give me a very detailed view of the meteoroid. I've ordered a more powerful telescope on The Nile Prime, it should be here by tonight!

Isabelle: I hope that's fast enough..

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Dobie: When will the meaty-whatchamacallit arrive?

Petri: Meteoroid, Dobie. Again, if my calculations are correct, it will be landing... *checks watch*... 66 hours from now.

Dobie: So nearly three days... Got it.

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Tom Nook: That concludes Dr. Petri's presentation! We would like to ask that you keep this information secret for now; we don't want to alarm any of our fellow citizens and cause a panic. The best thing would be to go about your day as normal, yes yes!

Petri: When we get closer to the arrival, I will let you know if I've learned anything more about the meteoroid alien! Thank you for coming!

- - -

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Panda: Oh gosh, Dobie! I'm so.. scared! But excited! What if it really is an alien? Do you think they'll come to Melursus? Do you think they'd wanna stay at the Red & Breakfast? Oh my gosh... Do you think they'll even like me?!

Dobie: No sense in worrying about it right now, kiddo. I don't know much about aliens or satellites or what-have-you.
What I do know is, we have some more investigatin' to do. I think we should go talk to that Marshal guy.



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And here we are -- we're standing just outside of Marshal's property. Hopefully he's home and willing to talk. I don't suspect him of anything nefarious, but maybe he will be able to give us a bit more information about who might have tricked Rosie into her computer. The time is 8:23 AM. Marshal's yard is noticeably... something.

Panda: *knock knock knock* Mr. Marshal? It's your friend and Island Representative, Panda! Oh, huh, that's strange... the door isn't closed all the way..

Dobie: That's not a good sign. Quick, let's get inside!


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Panda: Maaarrrshaaaalllll? Are you hooooome? It's me! Panda! And I brought a friend, his name is Dobie! Hello??

Marshal: *muffled voice* In here...!

Dobie: Eh? Where are you, son?

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Panda: Dobie, I think he's in his bedroom! Marshal, you in here? Are you decent?

Marshal: Yes... I'm in here.

Panda: Where? I don't see you! I can hear you but I can't see you! What's up with that?!

Marshal: Down here, Panda.

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Panda: Oh my god, Marshal...! You - You're --

Marshal: A marshmallow. Yeah... It's real. I'm a jumbo marshmallow now, Panda. How have you been?

Dobie: Good lord, what happened? Was it a floppy disk?

Marshal: Come again?

Dobie: Nevermind. Can you tell us how this happened?

Marshal: *sigh* Fine, yeah, sure. I'll tell you about my day.

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Marshal: A couple days ago, I felt like taking a personal day, just for myself, that day. I was tired - so tired of all the attention from the ladies. The constant knocking on my door, the incessant texts, the unwanted gifts... It's not easy being Marshal. All the fine honeys in Melursus want a piece of me, and there's not enough of me to go around. But hey, who can blame them? I am Marshal, after all.

Marshal: I start my personal day-off by chillin' in the park. Kinda weird, I know, but it was early in the morning and no one else was around. I sat there on the jungle gym, or whatever it's called, and I sipped my apple smoothie while I just... thought about life.

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Marshal: After I finished my smoothie, I went inside the Museum to visit my soulmate, my one-and-only, the only woman I have ever truly loved: Venus.

Dobie: Who is Venus? Does she work at the Museum? Do you know if she has much experience with old computer technology?

Marshal: I guess you could say that. She's a real work of art. A literal painting. A masterpiece. A gift from the gods. The definition of beauty herself. But to answer your other question, detective, she's from way before the time of computers.

Panda: Ohhhh, do you mean Venus as in the painting The Birth of Venus? By that guy whose name makes me think of pasta?

Marshal: Sandro Botticelli... yes.

Dobie: You're in love with a painting?

Panda: Dobie! Don't be so judgmental!

Marshal: Bless your heart, Panda. Yes, I love Venus more than anything. I do very much adore the ladies of Melursus, don't get me wrong, but you know the saying, "boys are from Mars, girls are from Venus"? How can any woman hope to beat the literal origin of womankind, Venus herself?

Panda, to Dobie: Okay, you can be a little judgmental.

Dobie: *SIGH* What happened after that?

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Marshal: After spending 5 hours soaking in the beauty that is Venus, I took a stroll down to the beach, and watched the sea foam. The waves can be so very hypnotic. I guess one could say it's a way of meditating. I stayed there 'til sunset. Afterwards, I returned home, then I drank coffee while listening to the song Habanera on repeat. Lastly... I retired to my bedroom, fluffed my pillows, put on my sleep mask, and went into a peaceful slumber.

Marshal: I was so deeply asleep, though, that I didn't hear anyone come into my house. I woke up to a creaking noise in my room, and suddenly, my sleep mask had fallen off my face and I'm rolling on to the floor somehow. I couldn't move. I had no arms, no legs, no tail.. And I felt... sweet? It took me a few hours to figure out that I'd become a marshmallow.

Dobie: Did you happen to see who did this to you?


Marshal: It was still nighttime so it was very dark, but I did see a hooded figure. It looked like they were wearing a black cloak with the hood up. But I only saw them as I was rolling off the bed, so I don't know for sure if that's what I saw. They looked like they were taller than me -- squirrel Marshal, I mean.

Dobie: Medium-to-tall height and dark... got it. Did you notice anything else about them? The way they walked? The way they talked? The way they smelled?

Marshal: Actually.. I could smell something fruity just after I turned. I guess my sense of smell didn't wear off right away.

Dobie: One last question. Can you think of anyone who might be responsible for this... attack?

Marshal: Well.. let me think. I stood up Isabelle for our date at the KK Slider concert, I made a pass at Punchy's girlfriend Lolly, I didn't show up to Bunnie's birthday party, I didn't tip Charlise at all when I had that double-date with Rosie at The Fruit Fly, I sabotaged Ribbot's character in our weekly Prisons & Pegasi game, I ghosted Savannah, I accidentally knocked Dr. Petri's robot into the river, I smashed Cephalobots' pumpkins...

Dobie: *furiously writing all this down despite the fact that Panda is holding up the recorder*

Panda: Are you okay Marshal? I'm so sorry this happened to you!

Marshal: It's fine. I'm actually okay with it. Being a marshmallow isn't so bad. I feel very zen right now.

Panda: Are you absolutely sure? Is there anything we can do for you?

Marshal: Yeah... Can you roll me into the museum?




After we dropped off Marshal at the museum, we returned to his home and searched his property for hours... and hours. We didn't end up finding a playing card, but it must be in a really strange spot. I'm going to have Panda search the place again tomorrow. The time is now 9:48 PM, and we were both exhausted from our very weird day, so I sent Panda home.

I think it's obvious now that whoever is responsible for these attacks and disappearances is some kind of magician.. or wizard.. or witch, or something. Magic! It really exists! And if that wasn't enough, now we have aliens to deal with, too. Dr. Petri just texted me this photo of the meatyroid.


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Looks like some kinda funky alien space squirrel. Hope she doesn't destroy us all.

The universe truly is an odd place.

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THE MELURSUS FILES
saint ione & nookileaks

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*Clicks recorder*
The date and time today is June 21st, 30057, 10:22 AM. Panda finally found Marshal's card... This whole time it's been sitting inside one of the Knight Statues outside of Marshal's bedroom! Panda had to turn the statue all the way upside down to get the card to fall out, GAH-HA!

The card is similar to Rosie's card in that it seems to have special significance in comparison to the rest of the deck. This is the first Joker card I've obtained from the perp. Whoever Marshal wronged must have been very displeased with him. This card shows Marshal in his original squirrel form, dressed in a jesters' outfit. He seems to be strolling along without a care in the world, while he proudly holds a three-leaf clover. This jester must not know that three-leaf clovers aren't very special.


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I don't know why the perpetrator would go to such great lengths to hide these cards in very weird, hard-to-find spots.
Perhaps they're toying with me. Or perhaps it's somehow part of their magical spells.

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In other news, the meatyroid finally crash-landed in the sea. Wilbur and Dr. Petri went and picked... her...? up early in the morning.
So now I'm on my way back to the Melursus Museum conference room to meet this... squirrel.
I don't know what's so special about her. So what if she came from outer space?

*thud*

GAH!! Ow! My foot! I think I tripped on something... What in the...?
Oh, you have got to be a kidding me! Someone left this stupid magazine lying around!

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Just a bunch of wacky, senseless trash. I think I might have broken my ankle or something... Great.




Finally made it to the museum.. It only took me an hour longer than it should have. I kept having to stop and rest my ankle. The time now is 11:36 AM.

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Panda: OH MY GOSH, DOBIE, LOOK! ALIEN SQUIRREL!

Dobie: Yeah, I can see that. What's goin' on here?

Petri: Golly, she sure is hungry! I never thought in a billion years that star fragments could be alien food! Especially since they're slightly radioactive... Astounding!

Celeste: Hootie-toot, I hope I don't run out of fragments...

???: *om nom nom crunch crunch om nom*

Panda: What do the star fragments taste like? What planet are you from? What is your name?!

Petri: I believe she said her name is... Ione? Am I saying that right?

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Dobie: Ione? I-UNNO about that! GAH-hah-hah!

Ione: GREETINGS, WOLF. DO YOU POSSESS ANY FRAGMENTS OF THE STARS UPON YOUR PERSON?

Dobie: Fragments-a what now? Oh, ouch! Really gotta sit down...
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Ione: WOLF, I SEE THAT YOUR FOOT BONE IS FRAGMENTED, NOT DISSIMILAR TO THE STAR PIECES THAT I SEEK. SHALL I HEAL YOU OF YOUR MORTAL WOUND?

Dobie: Uhh, you some kind of doctor, kid?

Ione: *steps closer to Dobie and radiates a beam of light onto his foot*

Panda: WHOAAAA!

Dobie: H-hey now!

Petri: What just happened?! Detective, is your foot better?

Dobie: ....Well, I'll be! Good as new! Better, in fact! Thanks, sport!

Ione: I AM NO SPORT, WOLF. I HAVE HEALED YOU OF YOUR AILMENT. YOU MUST PAY ME BACK AS SOON AS YOU PROCURE ONE FRAGMENT OF A STAR. IT IS NOW CONTRACT.

Dobie: Yeah, I'll get right on that.

Panda: It's... It's a miracle! An alien squirrel that heals! We finally have a healer!!!

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Ione: MORTALS! I WILL REQUIRE A STEADY DIET OF STAR FRAGMENTS IF YOU WISH ME TO REMAIN HERE. I WILL ALSO REQUIRE A DWELLING TO SHELTER MYSELF AND MY FOOD.

Panda: Oh, right! I can do that! I'll help pick out a house for Ione. So exciting!!

Dobie: Don't forget to make her an ID card.

Panda: SO EXCITING!! It's gonna be a busy day for meee! I'll have to take a day off from investigating, Dobie!

Dobie: I suppose it's for the best.. Maybe I'll go fishin'.

Petri: Panda, It is imperative that you keep some distance from Ione for a few days. All that time she spent in space -- she's still rather... radioactive.

Panda: Radioactive? But I don't hear her playing any music at all! More like radio inactive, amiright?!




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June 24th, 30057, 4:15 PM. It's been a very odd, albeit very calm past few days. Panda has been showing Ione around the island, introducing her to the villagers, getting her house set up. The villagers have proclaimed Ione to be a saint, and she's been given a job at the local hospital -- which has already been re-named to Saint Ione's Hospital.

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I'm usually a very skeptical guy, but this Ione gal seems alright. My ankle feels better than ever, I think it might have even made me a couple years younger somehow. It's nice to have a force for good here on Melursus for once. It feels more balanced. Maybe it was fate that Ione cannon-balled on to our planet.

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Alejandro (Rebel Gnome): Sounds like yer gettin' soft, Detective. Heh heh heh.

Dobie: HEY, SHUT IT! Can't you see that I'm recording here?! And fishing, I might add!

Alejandro: Ah, sheesh, fine. Don't mind me. It's not like I have anything important to share with you.

Dobie: What, you have news? You never have news.

Alejandro: Oh? Well, I guess I'll be going then..

Dobie: *sigh* What is it?

Alejandro: Have a look for yourself, hombre. Heh heh heh heh heh... heh.

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Dobie: OH, FER HECKS SAKES! "THE TRUTH ABOUT DETECTIVE DOBIE"? WHAT DO THEY KNOW ABOUT ME? NOTHIN', I TELL YOU WHAT! PSH!! WHAT A BUNCH OF NON-SENSE! WHERE DID YOU GET THIS, ALEJANDRO? ALEJANDRO???? Of course, he's gone now...

I think it's time I figure out who's behind NOOKILEAKS.




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I spent the rest of the day asking around if anyone knew where NOOKILEAKS originates from. Some swear they've heard what sounds like machines coming from the manhole near Nook's Cranny late at night. It's currently 12: 54 AM; I'm almost up to the manhole. I have to admit, I'm a little claustrophobic, so I'm not looking forward to squeezing down there, but... but it just has to be done! I'm sick of NOOKILEAKS making up all this non-sense!

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Alright... Time to descend, I guess. Here goes nothing...



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*tapa tapa tap tap tap tap DING tapa tap tap tap*

Timmy: Profits are up 5000% from last quarter! NOOKILEAKS has been selling like hotcakes ever since people started disappearing!

Tommy: That is wonderful news indeed, yes, yes! Maybe our next issue should be about... the Neon Sasquatch!

Timmy: Ooh, that's a good idea! We'll need to doctor up some pictures first though!

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Timmy: Hey, what's that sound?

Tommy: The typewriter? The printing presses? The fax machine? The pipes? It's loud in here!

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Timmy: It's not any of those things! I think.. I think someone's coming down here!

Tommy: Oh, it must be da--

Dobie: THE NOOKLING BOYS? YOU'RE NOOKILEAKS? THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE! YOU TWO ARE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE!

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Timmy and Tommy: Detective Dobie...! We're sorry! ...sorry! We didn't mean anything, we swear! We were just having fun! ....fun!
Dobie: YOU CALL MAKING UP LIES ABOUT EVERYONE "FUN"?! THAT'S IT, NOOKILEAKS IS OVER, I'M STOPPING THE PRESSES!

Timmy and Tommy: But..! ...but!

Dobie: I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT THOSE RUMORS YOU PRINTED ARE FALSE! I AM ABSOLUTELY NOT A --

Tom Nook: That's enough, detective.

Dobie: Oh good, your father is here! Mr. Nook, I want this operation shut down, ASAP.

Tom Nook: Absolutely not.

Dobie: Excuse me? Do you not see what's going on here?

Tom Nook: Of course I see. You think I don't know what my own boys are up to, hm? I think you'd better get going before I kick you off this island, yes yes.


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Dobie: I'm sorry. I just don't like what's being said about me or others on Melursus --

Tom Nook: No one actually believes the things my kids write in their little magazine! Everyone knows it's just for fun! This is simply a way for my boys to make some money while they get to be creative. Nothing more.

Dobie: But Mr. Nook, why can't they start a lemonade stand like normal kids? Why does it have to be a conspiracy mag?

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Tom Nook: Oh please. You KNOW they can't start a lemonade stand. You know the developers never gave us any lemons, detective.

Dobie: ...Developers? What?

Tom Nook: What? Gotta go. Don't talk to me or my sons ever again. Unless it's about business, yes, yes!




It is now 2:48 AM and I am finally back home... That was a whole lot of nothin'. I threw away my copy of the NOOKILEAKS magazine, although I kept the cover page and a random article to file away in case this ever comes up again. I suppose if NOOKILEAKS provides a distraction for the citizens of Melursus, then it might actually be a beneficial thing, as much as I hate to admit it. I just wish they would keep me out of it.

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Kids these days.
At least I'll have an interesting story to tell Panda tomorrow.

🌴 🌴 🌴
 
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THE MELURSUS FILES
so long and goodnight


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*Clicks recorder*
The date and time is June 23rd, 30057, 3:54 PM. I haven't had a chance to record my thoughts earlier today, as an emergency had come up. Things have taken a turn for the worse.

Punchy called me this morning in a panic; he said his significant other, Lolly, hadn't come home from her 3-day winter retreat. I got Wilbur to fly Punchy and I over there, and after conducting a wellness check, I... well, I have some terrible news. It seems Lolly has been turned to ashes, somehow. It's the most eerie thing. We put her ashes in a vase to see if the alien squirrel can save her, but I have my doubts. I feel for Punchy; the poor kid's a mess.

I'm on my way to break the news to Panda as we speak. After that, we will be going back to Lolly's vacation home to do an in-depth investigation.


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Okay, Panda and I are here at Lolly's vacation home. The time is 11:03 PM. Hoo, it sure is freezing out here! Some things to note before we go inside: there are no footprints in the snow; no signs of forced entry. The car is off, and the keys are inside the home. The lights are still on inside the house.

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Going inside now...

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And here we are. Lolly's vacation home -- which seems to be used for study purposes, mainly -- is comprised of one floor and an attic. Upon first glance, nothing seems out of the ordinary down here on the main floor. What remained of Lolly was found in the attic.

Dobie: Say, Panda, what was Lolly studying anyhow?

Panda: Lolly was working on her Masters degree... she was going to be a neuroscientist! I think she was researching something to do with consciousness? Or dreams? Or.. something? She was soooo smart, all that stuff went over my head!

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Dobie: I see over here is her desk. The computer is turned on. Seems to have some kind of data on it. Looks like jargon to me!

Panda: Aw, a photo of Punchy... this is so sad, Dobie!

Dobie: Maybe you shouldn't have come here, Panda.

Panda: I'm fine, I'll get through it... oh! Look what I found in the file cabinet!

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Panda: Wow, I remember this! I sent her this post card back when I went camping a couple years ago! Aw, I can't believe she kept this! And it turns out, I DID leave my stove on! Thankfully Lolly turned it off as soon as she got my postcard..
Oh my gosh, she kept the paper bag that I put her Christmas gift in, too! Look, you're on it!

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Dobie: Moving on.. Over here we have a camcorder on a tripod, a laptop, a whiteboard, and a bunch of books.

Panda: She was practicing presenting her thesis! And also trying to get over her fear of public speaking..

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Dobie: In the kitchen now. A tablet with some videos on it, a bag of cookies and a glass of apple juice left out on the table.
She definitely did not intend to be up in the attic for too long...

Panda: No cockroaches, though! I guess we have the snow to thank for that?

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Dobie: And finally, her bedroom. Again, all looks perfectly normal.

Panda:
And so cozy!

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Dobie: There's not much down here to investigate. Well, at least not until we need to start searching for Lolly's playing card. Hopefully it won't take us too long to find it this time.

Dobie: ...We need to go up into the attic now, Panda. Are you sure you can handle this? I know you and Lolly were close.

Panda: I can handle it.. This mystery needs to be solved! For Lolly!

Dobie: Alright then. Time to ascend.






Panda: Oh, it's dark and musty up here! Wait, what the --

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Panda: What's with all the candles?! Why are they in a circle around a pillow? Is this where she was found, Dobie?

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Dobie: Indeed, it is. Lolly's ashes were on the pillow. It's strange, though -- there were no burns or fire damage of any kind to the pillow or any of the immediate surroundings. The attic is completely fine. I don't think this is a simple case of spontaneous combustion. This has to be the result of magic.

Panda: Have these candles been lit the whole time?! Wasn't Lolly here for a few days?

Dobie: Yes, the candles have been lit this whole time. We did our best not to mess with any of the evidence while retrieving what was left of Lolly.

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Dobie: Turning on the lights, now.

Panda: So wait, why are the candles in a circle? Was Lolly trying to do witchcraft?
Was Lolly a... a witch?! I can't believe she never told me!

Dobie: That does seem to be the case. Perhaps she was doing some kind of spell that went awry or something.

Panda: I just can't see her being a witch, though! Maybe she was trying it out for fun?

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Dobie: You know her better than I do, Panda. But could it be possible that this witchcraft experiment was tied to her research somehow?

Panda: Hmmmm, maybe, but I don't see how!

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Dobie: There's a lot of stuff up here. I'm not sure where to even start looking.

Panda: Yeah... this attic reminds me of those Spyglass books! Lolly sure had a lot of hobbies..

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*Panda and Dobie quietly look around*

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Dobie: I think we need to ignore all this stuff for now and focus on the most important part of this room:
The... witchcraft area, for lack of a better term.

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Dobie: Now imagine, Panda. Lolly was sat here on this pillow, in the center of the room, surrounded by candles. Close by her is an alarm clock; I think that was put there as part of her spell, for some reason. When Punchy and I came to check up on Lolly, the alarm clock was ringing. Behind the pillow is a fortune-telling set -- some cards, some blown-out candles, a crystal ball, and a small crystal on a string. The lights were turned off. What do you think she was trying to achieve?

Panda: How am I supposed to know?! I don't know anything about magic! I just run a bed-and-breakfast!

Dobie: I think Lolly was sitting here for a long time before she was turned to ash. Perhaps, she was sitting here longer than she originally intended, though I don't know why.

Panda: Especially since she had snacks waiting for her downstairs..

Dobie: Okay. I think we should start looking for the card, now. When we get back to Melursus, we should research magic books to see if any of the spells' instructions and ingredients match the scene found here.

Panda: I'll start searching downstairs, you can have the attic.. Maybe I'll get lucky and the card will be in the bag of cookies...



June 26th, 30057, 7:37 AM. We spent at least 5 hours searching Lolly's house before we finally found her card.. Guess where it happened to be? It was right in the middle of Lolly's tarot card deck, which was sitting just behind the pillow in the attic! I can't believe we didn't think to check there first! Maybe we subconsciously thought that would have been too obvious a place to check?

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Lolly's card is another Queen suit. The Queen of Hearts... I think that sums up Lolly perfectly, based on what Panda and Punchy told me about her. She appears to have angel wings in this illustration. In the middle of the card are a pair of yellow chrysanthemums. The hearts have a buttonhole stitch on them. I can't help but get the feeling that the perpetrator was jealous of Lolly.

I wish I could figure out what happened to make Lolly turn to ash like that. Panda and I have been hitting the books, but so far, none of them contain anything that matches the scene that we found. All these books talk about are horoscopes and charging crystals... Just dumb superficial magic books. Where are the real grimoires? I think it's possible that the perp tricked Lolly into doing some kinda black magic that backfired on her.

I had Panda check up on Punchy yesterday; he is not handling the loss of Lolly very well. I don't think he can be considered a suspect. He seems to be in genuine grief, the poor guy. I really need to interview him, but Panda keeps telling me that I need to give him some time and space. All I need is more information on Lolly.


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Hopefully we can find the perp soon; I don't like where this has all been heading.

🌴 🌴 🌴

 
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THE MELURSUS FILES
the list, pt. 1

🌴 🌴 🌴
*Clicks recorder*
July 2nd, 30057, 10:45 AM. Right now I am taking a stroll through downtown Melursus. It's a nice morning. I'll be meeting up with Panda at Punchy's house in an hour; we're finally going to interview him so we can try to attain some more information in regards to what happened to Lolly. After that, Panda and I will begin drafting a list of official suspects.


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The task of coming up with suspects seems especially daunting in this particular investigation. In all my years of being a detective, I've never gone up against somebody that uses magic to carry out their crimes. I'm still not sure what we should even be on the look-out for -- do we search the suspect's closet for pointy hats and broomsticks? Do we ask them where they keep their kettle and potions? Or what they like to do on Friday the 13th? As far as I know, the perp could be almost anyone on this island.



Punchy: Hola, mis amigos. Welcome to mi casa. Sorry if it's a little messy in here.. Haven't had the willpower to clean...

Panda: Hola, Punchy!! Wow, your house looks really cool! It's not messy at all!

Dobie: Kinda dark in here. The time is now 11:51 AM, we are standing in Punchy's place of residence..

Punchy: Wow, this guy wastes no time at all. Anyway, make yourselves at home. There's snacks over there if you want any.

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Dobie: Before we begin asking you questions, can we see some ID?

Punchy: If that's really necessary, then fine, here you go. I just had it renewed.

Dobie: Thanks. So Punchy, what was your relationship to Lolly?

Punchy: Lolly was my girl. We were dating. We had been together for a little over 3 years now... I was thinking about proposing to her, but I guess that ship has sailed.

Panda: Awww, I'm so sorry for your loss, Punchy!

Dobie: How often did Lolly practice magic? Did she ever talk about magic or show any interest in it?

Punchy: It's funny, Lolly was always so logical about almost everything, and yet, she was also a little superstitious. She wouldn't walk underneath ladders or open up an umbrella indoors, even though being afraid of those things made no sense. I never knew Lolly to try out a magic card trick or pull a rabbit out of a hat, let alone attempt a real spell. So as far as I know, she never practiced magic before.

Dobie: Do you have any clue as to what kind of spell she was attempting that day?

Punchy: No clue at all.

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Dobie: What was Lolly researching?

Punchy: I know it was pretty complex stuff, but I think she said she was researching consciousness; specifically trying to see if a persons' consciousness could be transferred elsewhere, like into a computer or maybe even another creature. Lolly always liked to say that she was researching the soul.

Dobie: Do you think it's possible her research had anything to do with her demise?

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Punchy: What, like she researched herself to death or something? What kind of question is that?

Panda: I think what Detective Dobie is trying to ask is if maybe Lolly was attempting some kind of spell to help with her research on consciousness!

Punchy: I don't know. I wasn't there. I guess I could see her trying it out. She was pretty adventurous in that way... Honestly, before all this, I never thought magic was even real. I'm still not 100% sure that it is.

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Dobie: Do you know of anyone that might have wanted Lolly gone?

Punchy: How could anyone ever want Lolly gone? She was the heart of this island, man. She got along with everybody. Everybody. It's not like anyone forced her to try out some dumb spell.. right?

Dobie: Were any of her friends into the occult?

Punchy: I know she liked to go see Katrina occasionally to get her fortune told... but besides Katrina, no, no one that I know of. And I don't think Katrina would have had anything to do with it, I mean come on, she's a total quack.

Panda: Katrina's not a real psychic?!

Punchy: Nah... I never said anything about it to Lolly, though. Seeing Katrina made her happy..

Dobie: That's all the questions we have, for now. Thank you for your time, kid. And, uh... sorry for your loss.

Punchy: Yeah... Adios.




12:18 PM.. First on our list of suspects: Charlise. She works part-time as a waitress at The Fruit Fly.

Main reason of suspicion: The perp smelled fruity, and was of medium-to-tall height. That's... about all we have to go on, for now. Panda and I are going to interview her -- not interrogate, mind you -- just ask her a couple of questions.

We are about to enter her yard and knock on her door... Hey, what's with the toxic waste sign?


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Panda: Hmmm, that's weird! I don't remember that sign being there before?!

Dobie: Oh, here's Charlise now. Suspect is coming out of her house.

Charlise: Hey guys! What's up?! How's it hangin'?

Panda: Howdy, Charlise! Hey, what's with this sign here?

Charlise: URGH, not again! I'm sorry guys, I'm not really radioactive.. My cousin Ursala decided to prank me by writing to NOOKILEAKS and got them to publish an article about how I'm radioactive or whatever. I'm not radioactive; I'm naturally this green! Anyway, Ursala likes to mess with me like that. She's probably the one that put this sign here... Again.

Dobie: Do you mind if we speak with you for a bit? We have a couple of questions we'd like to ask you.

Charlise: Of course not! Why don't you come inside?!


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Panda: Oh, cute room! Love the Mush Lamp!

Charlise: Thanks! That's not actually a lamp though, that kinda just grew there! Pretty neat that it glows, huh?

Panda: ....Oh!

Dobie: Mind if we see some ID?

Charlise: ...Sure? Let me see if I can find it around here.. Ope, here it is. Here you go!

Dobie: Thank you. So Charlise, tell me about yourself.

Charlise: Hmmm, where to begin!











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Charlise: I like pastel colors. I like to chill. I like to party. I like to scrapbook. Sometimes I make bowls and bowls of Jello. But y'know, I mainly like to spend my time by just kickin' it, keepin' it cool. Chillaxin'. Relaxin'.

Dobie: And you work at The Fruit Fly?
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Charlise: Oh, yeah. The Fruit Fly. Yeah, I waitress there in the afternoons, mainly. Not today though, today I'm kickin' it with my pals Panda and Dobie!

Panda: Woo, pals!!

Dobie: How much fruit do you handle at The Fruit Fly?

Charlise: Kind of a weird question! I like it, though! Tons and tons of fruit. It's ironic, after my shift I sometimes have fruit flies swarming me! It's so awful, haha! But at least I smell nice!

Dobie: Who else works at The Fruit Fly?

Charlise: You probably already know one of them! Ribbot is the head chef of The Fruit Fly.. Pretty crazy, right? That frog literally never sleeps. I guess he doesn't need to, since he's a robot and all. He runs both a dojo and has a wildly successful career as a culinarian! It's nuts!

Charlise: Oh, and his brother Cephalobot also works there as his sous chef.. Nepotism, am I right folks? But they're both actually really good at their jobs. I eat the food sometimes, and it is SO. good.

Dobie: Next question. This one is a little off-topic. Ever practice any magic?

Charlise: Magic? Like putting someone in a box and then sawing it in half? Nah, not really my style.

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Panda: Charlise! Do you know anyone that does like magic?

Charlise: I don't know if it's related at all, but my coworker Cephalobot really loves Halloween. Like, he's completely obsessed with it! You should see his house! Other than that, I don't know anyone that likes magic. Well, I mean, everyone likes magic, but I don't know anyone that pursues it as like, a hobby or whatever.

Dobie: Next random question. Do you have a vacation home?

Charlise: Huh-what? Vacation home? Me? Pssssh, as if I could ever afford that, hahaha! Haha! Ha! Where'd you get that idea from? The weird idea store? Heh. Anyway, I'm gettin' pretty tired, so I won't be much more fun to hang out with. I better let you guys go, or you'll get real bored. Thanks for stopping by and asking me all those totally-not-weird questions! We should do it again some time!

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- - -
Dobie: Hmmm, she sure was in a hurry to get us out of there when I asked if she had a vacation home..

Panda: I know right?! I noticed that, too! That's so unlike her!

Dobie: We'll put a pin in that for later. Let's take a break and meet back up later tonight.



6:45 PM. Decided to take another stroll around the island. I'm watering some flowers at the moment.. it's kinda peaceful.

I'm thinkin' we'll talk to Cephalobot next. I hesitated to go over there right away seein' as that's Dr. Petri's kid and all.. I hate to upset my good friend, but Cephalobot fits the very vague description that we have so far of the perpetrator, so he's a potential suspect. We can't leave anyone out.


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And I somewhat know Cephalobot too; he's always seemed like a nice lad. But for all I know, he could be masking his true self.



9:07 PM. Panda and I are standing outside Cephalobot's home.. I've never been to his house before, though it's not too far away from Petri's house. First impression... the boy really loves pumpkins. I never knew that about him.

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Panda: All these jack-o-lanterns in his yard.. You'd think that it's Halloween!

Dobie: Indeed. Let's see if he's home. His lights are on..

Panda: *knock knock knock*

*door slowly creaks open slightly, then jerks open suddenly*


Cephalobot: BOO! Haha! Panda and Dobie? What are you two doing here? Come on in.. If you dare!

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Panda: Wow! This is your house? It's so spooky!

Cephalobot: Thank you, compliment accepted! I released real spiders into my house so that they'd make me some authentic cobwebs. That's how dedicated I am to having the spookiest house in Melursus!

Dobie: How're you doing, son? Say, can I see that ID of yours?

Cephalobot: Uhhh okay! Here ya go! I've been good; I raked some dead leaves earlier today so I could add them to my house. What do you guys think? They look good here in this pile?

Panda: Looks real good! So fun! As long as there aren't any spiders in that leaf pile.

Cephalobot: You never know! There could be tons of 'em in there. More cobwebs for me!

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Dobie: So, Cephalobot. How's the job at The Fruit Fly going? Ribbot bossin' you around real good? Gah-HA!

Cephalobot: Don't even get me started. It's like I can never do anything right. He always has something to say about every little thing I do. Sometimes it's "Oh, there's too much milk in this milkshake" and other times it's "Oh, there's not enough milk in this milkshake." WELL, WHICH IS IT, BRO??

Panda: That must be hard! Do you work with a lot of fruit?

Cephalobot: Yeah, I'm the one that's always chopping up all the fruit, mixing it, mashing it, all that jazz. Ribbot is the one that does all the actual cooking and baking. He never lets me do the fun parts. I also have to do all the cleaning! It's so boring, I'd rather be out looking for pumpkin patches or ghosts or whatever!

Panda: Omg.. Is that... a real skeleton on your dining table?!

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Cephalobot: HAHAHAHAH! I wish! No, it's papier-mâché! I made it myself! Does it really look real??

Panda: Super real! That's so cool!!

Dobie: Ceph, all this Halloween stuff -- does it have anything to do with magic?

Cephalobot: Uhhh well, I know jack-o-lanterns are supposed to scare away evil ghosts or whatever. They're pretty cool like that. That's one of the reasons I like them. But I mainly like jack-o-lanterns because sometimes I feel like a jack-o-lantern.. and it's like.. whoa. We both have lights inside ourselves. We both look spooky. We have a lot in common! Did you know in some countries they carve turnips instead of pumpkins?

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Cephalobot: Also, I think folks dress up as scary things to like, make fun of the Devil. I think that's pretty baller. I should dress up as Ribbot at my next Halloween party.. Which is next month, by the way! You're both invited!

Panda: Next month? But isn't that August? Has my been calendar wrong this whole time?!

Cephalobot: Who says Halloween should only happen once a year? I have a Halloween party every month!

Dobie: Do you know much about magic in general, Ceph? Ever try out any spells? Or know anyone that does?

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Cephalobot: No, but that's a cool idea! Maybe I'll get a spirit board for my next party! I don't know anyone that casts spells. If I did, I'd have a spell cast on Ribbot so he'd quit working at The Fruit Fly and go back to working in his dojo full time! Then I'd make all the food at The Fruit Fly spooky, with fake blood and gummy worms and all that cool stuff.

Dobie: Do you happen to have a vacation home?

Cephalobot: Yes, actually. I thought I told you about it before? I'm pretty sure you even visited. Don't you remember? I made it into a haunted laboratory! It was a real hit! Look, I've got some pictures from last year!

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Dobie: Oh. Yes. Yes, of course. I remember now... I think..

Panda: Maybe you're just tired! It is getting pretty late.

Dobie: Yeah, that must be it. Anyway, thank you for your time, sport. Say hi to your mom for me.




12:59 AM.. I'm feeling very confused. I don't remember ever having been to Cephalobot's vacation home, let alone even knowing about it. But Panda is probably right, I'm probably just tired. And I am old. Maybe my memory is fading a bit. I am putting so much time into this investigation that I barely have a moment to think about anything else. I think the memory simply got pushed out of my mind.

I can't possibly see Cephalobot as having been the perp, but I am pretty biased. Panda says she is unsure. We still have several more suspects to interview. If only we could catch the perp red-handed. All those cameras I put around Melursus haven't paid off yet.

I'm falling asleep.. I don't know if my ears are playing tricks on me; I swear I can hear some faint music coming from outside... But I'm just too darn tired to check it out. I think the music is making me extra sleepy..

Zzzz....



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THE MELURSUS FILES
chasing cryptid


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*Clicks recorder*
4th of July, 30057, 7:31 AM. It's another beautiful day here in Melursus. I been tryin' to get a little more cardio into my everyday routine. Keep my heart healthy and all that. Anyway, I got a call just a minute ago; apparently last night some feral screaming was heard throughout the island. There were several noise complaints filed. One citizen in particular wants me to come visit his home right away..

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His name is Sprocket. Another one of Dr. Petri's "children". Actually, he's the eldest of all her robo-kids. Things ain't been too great between him and his mom though; not too sure about the specifics on that. Anyway, it's probably nothing. Maybe a couple of rabid tanukis got loose last night and wreaked havoc around the island.. Gah-HAH!




It is now 8:02 AM. I'm standing here with Panda just outside of er, Sprocket's home. He resides in a tent on the beach. There are several huge rips in the doorway of his tent; it looks like something tore into it, trying to get inside...
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Panda: Knock knock! Sprocket, are you there? It's Panda and Dobie!

Sprocket: Finally! What took you guys so long?! Get inside, quick!


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Dobie: What seems to be the matter, kid?

Sprocket: Y'all don't know? It didn't attack you?

Dobie: What didn't attack us?

Sprocket: That.. that creature, man! It was vicious! I thought for sure I was toast!
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Dobie: Can you slow down and tell us what happened?

Sprocket: Okay... So late last night, I'm sittin' here in my home, just reading my book - it's a romantic thriller, by the way - when suddenly I hear this most horrific screeching! I thought maybe it was a gyroid or something at first, so I peeped through my tent, when I saw... it.

Panda: It?!

Sprocket: It was.. all black and white, stripes, tall. Both fur AND feathers! And great big claws! If I didn't know any better, I would have thought it was Savannah dressed up in some fancy avant-garde outfit! It screamed as soon as it heard me zip my tent back up. Then it started ripping my tent to shreds.. I was so petrified that I made myself go into stand-by mode! I waited 5 and a half hours before finally waking myself up.. It was gone by then, and that's when I called you up, Detective! I think that creature is still out there! Ya gotta go hunt it, man!

Dobie: This creature... looked like Savannah, you say?

Sprocket: Like some twisted version of Savannah, yeah!

Dobie: I have a bad feeling about this, Panda. Let's check up on Savannah real quick.

Sprocket: Yo, wait! Is there anything y'all can do about my tent?!




8:20 AM. Panda and I almost fell into this very strange crevice.. It must have just popped up last night. It's no ordinary crevice -- it has white stripes lining the walls, and it almost looks like it's... pulsing? Panda thinks that it might be growing. This could be very bad. There are a lot of civilian homes nearby -- Petri's house is just over there. We think it might be related to the creature that attacked Sprocket's home.


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Speaking of homes, Savannah wasn't at hers. Her door had claw marks up and down the thing, as if someone or something was trying to make stripes. Her yard is a mess, too. For some reason, Petri is suggesting we go talk to Dr. Blathers at the Melursus Museum. Don't know how he can help with this investigation, but we'll see what he has to offer.



9:08 AM. A lot more of the townsfolk are awake and about. Many of them are very confused about today's goings-on; we have been telling everyone to avoid going near the crevice. It has been observed pulling some things into itself, somehow. Dr. Petri says the crevice must have its own kinda gravitational pull or what-have-you... Sounds like a bunch of mumbo-jumbo to me. Anyway, we've made it to the museum.

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I have to admit, I've grown quite fond of our museum. Not sure why... Must be the really good coffee.


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Panda: Dr. Blathers... Dr. Blathers! Sorry to wake you, but we were wondering if you could help us!

Blathers: Hoooo... HOO?! Oh, well if it isn't Panda and Detective Dobie! Deary me, whatever can I do for you on this fine day?

Panda: Dr. Petri sent us here to talk to you! There's some kind of funky striped creature squawking about, and there's this weird... rift in the ground! Is it dinosaurs or something?!

Blathers: Did you say... striped creature? And a rift?

Dobie: Indeed. Do you know anything about all that?

Blathers: Hoooo.. It couldn't possibly be..

Dobie: Couldn't possibly be what?


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Blathers: A long, long time ago when my sister and I were but little chicks still in the nest, our grandpappy would sit us down every night to tell us a bedtime story. They weren't happy stories like you might expect, though. Hooo hoo, nooo, instead our dear old grandfather would tell us creepy tales of monsters and cryptids.

Blathers: One story in particular always stuck with me.. It was only known among us owl-folk, you see. Hoo, according to great legend, there is a whole other plane similar to our world -- except in this plane of existence, everything is donned in stripes. Everything! And in this plane there lives a terrible creature. Hoo hoo... We call it The Striped Harpy.. Incredibly aggressive, kills anything it sees on sight! The only hope of surviving it is to simply blend in with your surroundings by wearing stripes, and pray that your camouflage is adequate enough to not be seen in the first place.

Blathers: I have always understood this to be a simple myth, but if it is true, then this news could turn the world of science on its head! Hoo HOO!

Dobie: Would you be up for venturing into this dimension? Is it survivable?

Blathers: As far as the legend goes, the rift only stays open for 3 days.. The Harpy can travel between our two worlds in that timeframe. Hoo hoo.. If one were to venture into this striped dimension, one ought to do so right away. I wouldn't want to get stuck there!

Dobie: Then you two best be gearing up. Panda, you go with Dr. Blathers, I'll go search Savannah's home for clues. I suspect that Savannah may be another victim.


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Panda: WHAT! Why do I gotta be the one to risk my life?!

Blathers: Hoo, I don't recall signing up for this.. But, I will accept. Perhaps I can write a paper about this expedition! Maybe even get a grant! Hoo Hoooo....





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Panda: Oh! My! Gosh! Don't I look soo cute in this outfit?!

Blathers: Hoo, I am not an expert on such a matter as this..

Panda: And you! You've got a striped hat and bow-tie on! Matching is so in right now!

Blathers: Hoo HOO! This is the rift that you speak of?! It's so narrow and yet... It appears to be pulling me in ever so slightly!

Panda: Weird, right?!

Blathers: Well, I guess we better start descending..

Panda: I can NOT believe Dobie talked me into this. If I die in some other dimension I will never forgive him! NEVER!







Doctor Blathers, here! The Melursus Island Representative Panda and I have successfully made it down - or through? - into the striped dimension. I simply cannot believe my own eyes! This bizarre savannah-jungle hybrid dimension of myth is actually real! The grass, the rocks, the plants, the flowers, the boulders, the dirt.. All of them seem to have naturally occurring stripes on them! Even the... ACK... Bugs!


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We've been exploring for approximately 18 hours now. It seems the deeper we venture into this plane, the less colorful it gets. The stripes are becoming monotone -- just black and white. Luckily our camouflage matches our surroundings better now.

Panda: But when can we go back hoooomee?! I'm so tired!

Blathers: Hoo, we still have yet to observe a real Striped Harpy.. As soon as I get a picture of one, then we can go home!





Blathers here once again! 5 hours later... We have finally laid eyes upon it.. The Striped Harpy! It was incredible! I even managed to capture it on film!
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Cryptid Species: The Striped Harpy
Behaviors: Clever, Aggressive, Cunning
Size: 2.7 Meters (8.9 Feet) Tall
Habitat: A strange dimension best described as a striped savannah-jungle hybrid

Expedition Notes: Hoo! I have finally found the nest of the Striped Harpy.. To my surprise, she has a single glowing egg, ready to hatch. I'm waiting for her to go out on her daily hunt so that I may get a closer look. A rather strange creature indeed, she has decorated her nest with striped paper, perhaps to further aid in camouflage? I myself am wearing stripes to blend in with my surroundings. Although, I am fearful that the Striped Harpy could pick up my scent -- that would most certainly end in a fate worse than death...

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Panda: Oh no... That's definitely Savannah. Or at least it used to be.

Blathers: Hoo, this is most interesting.. I never knew that a zebra could turn into a Striped Harpy. Perhaps that is the most logical explanation.

Panda: Can we talk to her? See if she like... recognizes us?

Blathers: HOO! Absolutely not! That's not Savannah anymore, I am sorry to say.

Panda: But... how could this have happened?






Dobie: Huh? You two are already back? It's only been three hours!

Blathers: Hoo HOO?! My, it seems that time in the striped dimension runs faster than in our own plane!

Panda: We were there for like, two whole days, Dobie! TWO! DAYS!

Dobie: Did you happen to see Savannah down there?

Panda: Apparently Savannah is The Striped Harpy! I don't know how it happened! Blathers wouldn't let me try to talk to her.

Dobie: Well, kid.. The perp is responsible once again. Follow me. I have something to show you.




The time is now 1:18 PM. I've brought Panda back with me to Savannah's home. While she was exploring the, uh, other world, I was searching Savannah's home for clues.

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Dobie: I think this is what did Savannah in, somehow.

Panda: A jigsaw puzzle? Surely you can't be serious?!

Dobie: I thought it might be far-fetched too, but as I was undoing the puzzle, I found this laying underneath it:

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Panda: Oh my gosh! Another card!!

Dobie: And it only took me 10 minutes to find it, this time. We've almost got a four of a kind now; just one more queen to go...



11:41 PM. After searching Savannah's home for a second time, Panda and I came back to my office to discuss our findings today. I feel that a pattern is starting to form, here. Rosie was banished to a virtual world inside her computer. Savannah was morphed into some creature that migrated to a whole other dimension. Lolly's been turned to ash. Marshal was turned into a Marshmallow.

Okay, maybe those last two things aren't related... Or maybe they are in some way that I'm just not seeing yet?

Who knows.


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Either way, I feel like this perp could be doing some magical experiments or something.
But to what end? What are they trying to accomplish?

Well, I'd better send Panda home. I don't want her getting stripes on my couch.


🌴 🌴 🌴
 
TheMelursusFiles_9.png

THE MELURSUS FILES
meeting the sky

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*Clicks recorder*
The date is July 6th, 30057, and the time is 9:16 AM. I'm... well... somehow, Panda has convinced me to record a video of her doing a dance for something called... Clip-Clop? Panda says it's a really trendy social media app. Apparently folks upload short videos of themselves dancing or putting on make-up while talking about murder mysteries or whatever. I don't really get it.


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Anyway, today we have decided to take the day off from investigating. Panda is having a hard time lately; what with losing many of her friends to various magic spells and all. I guess that's the real reason I agreed to recording this video for her... She doesn't have a tripod stand!

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Panda: DANGIT, SENSEI RIBBOT! YOU RUINED MY VIDEO! COULDN'T YOU SEE THE CAMERA?!

Ribbot: ZZZZrrrbbt, oh, sorry! I didn't know! I was still distracted by what I saw earlier!

Dobie: Oh no... What is it now?

Ribbot: The sky, over there.. zzzRRbtt! It seems to have grown some eye muscles!

Dobie: Say what now?

Ribbot: There's a cloud over there that keeps staring at everyone! Normally I don't mind because I enjoy flaunting my gorgeous robot muscles, but it was really starting to freak me out! That cloud should try working on their manner muscles!

Dobie: Okay, Panda... Let's go check it out... sigh

Panda: Fine! As long as I get to re-record my dance later!



10:38 AM. We've been looking around the island for an hour, staring up at the sky, trying to find this "blinking cloud". So far we haven't had any luck. I'm wondering if Ribbot was just pranking us. I think I strained a neck muscle from all that looking up.. I'm going to have to hand over the reins to Panda for a while. Gotta go find a star fragment and see the alien squirrel so she can heal my neck.

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Dobie: Now Panda, there comes a time when the rookie must spread her rookie wings and learn to fly.. Today, I'm gonna let you take on this case. Use what you've learned from me and go do some investigatin'. I know you can do it.

Panda: You're just leaving because you don't want to record any more dance videos, aren't you?! Well fine, I can do this! Luckily I like clouds!

Dobie: Good luck, kid. See ya later. Oh, and here... You can use this to record your thought process.



Ooooookay! The time is 10:45 AM! I'm Investigator Island Representative Panda, First of her Name, Finder of Clouds, Dancer of Videos, Explorer of Dimensions, Keeper of Bed-and-Breakfasts! Today I'm gonna be searching for... *checks invisible notepad* ...a blinking cloud! That seems easy enough! Don't forget to SMASH that like and subscribe button for more blinking cloud content! Okay, let's get started!

First, I'm gonna go up these steps near the lighthouse. I designed this area, believe it or not! Isn't it classy AF? Oh! There's a few clouds up there! Helllloooooo? Hey! Cloud up there! Can you hear me? Can you give me a sign? No? Okay, how about you, other cloud?

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Hmmm.. none of these clouds seem interested in talking or blinking! Let's move on! Next, I'm gonna waltz on down to everyone's favorite place to go in the summertime: the beach! And as we all know, clouds also love the beach! Isn't the universe just amazing like that?

Oh, look at this cloud! It's so fluffy! Hello? Hellloooooooooo?! Can you hear me up there? Do you have eyes?

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Oh! Oh my gosh!
I've found it; the blinking cloud!

Hello over thereeee! My name is Panda! You can hear me?!
Hey! You should come down here! Our island is like, really cool and super cloud-friendly!
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Panda: Oh! Wow! You're so much closer now! I thought you'd be way bigger!

???: H... H.... H.................

Panda: Omg! You can talk, too? That's so cool! Hi! What's your name? I'm Panda, but not like the bear. I'm a human.

???: H..... Hi...........?

Panda: And look at this! *holds up phone* This is a picture of my friend, Dobie! He's a wolf! But he's nice. He'd love to meet you!

???: W..... What is...? What..... Am....?

Panda: You're the sky! Well, you're a cloud, which is part of the sky, but not the whole sky. But that's okay!

???: .......Sky. I am..... Sky. I am.. cloud. I can be...... Wolf. Too.
*cloud begins to transform into the shape of Dobie*

Panda: Wow! You can shape-shift?! That's so neat!

???: N......... N.... Neat. I am.... Wolf. Now. Hello. I am... Sky.

Panda: Hello! So nice to meet you! I've never met a cloud before! I'm gonna call you Skye, is that okay? Do you like that name?

Skye: Ye.....es. That name............. will do. I am Skye.......... I am... wolf. Hello. Yes.

Panda: Hey! How about you live here? I'll give you a house! And some clothes! And furniture!



It's 4:29 PM now! I've been showing my new bestie around Melursus! It's so nice to have a new friend here, since all my friends have been like, dying or disappearing! What a drag that's been! But Skye is so cool! She can transform into a normal cloud and then back again into a wolf. She can be really fast in her cloud form.

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Panda: So, do you like your new ID? And learning how to smile and wave? And learning how to write your name? You know, you're a pretty fast learner!
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Skye: Yes.......... I write good. *forces smile awkwardly*

Panda: Mmmmhm! You know what, I think we should put you in Lolly's old house.. You'll be right next to Dr. Petri! She can teach you a lot more than I can! I think she will just love you!

Skye: What is....... house?

Panda: It's like... a bigger cloud, that you can live in, and it has all your stuff, and keeps you nice and warm!

Skye: Yes.... this house sounds nice. Good. I will live here now.



Panda: Oh! Now let's teach you how to hold a smartphone! And how to dance!


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The time is now 6:07 PM! I've been doing TONS of dancing! The sunset is so pretty today! I think Skye will fit in just fine here in Melursus!
I can't wait to tell Dobie about my day. I wonder how he'll react to another wolf being on the island?


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Painted digitally in the ArtRage app for iPad; in case anyone is curious

Anyway, I found the blinking cloud, the blinking cloud is cool, her name is Skye, she's also a wolf, case closed!
Wow, I'm really good at investigating!

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THE MELURSUS FILES
the list, pt. 2

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*Clicks recorder*
July 7th, 30057, 10:10 AM. Back to investigatin'... I'm not too sure where Marshal fits in all of this.

We still can't figure out what spell Lolly used, either. I'm starting to feel utterly hopeless; how are we supposed to catch a literal magical perpetrator? Cameras haven't caught a single thing. For all I know, the cameras could be shorting out conveniently. Maybe it's some kind of magic that interferes with electricity. But hey, I'm just making wild assumptions, here.

I'm wondering if it would simply be best to recommend everyone evacuate the island for good. There's no telling who will be the next victim, and when, and how.


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Panda: You can't spend all day in here, Dobie! We have to go out and do something! Don't we have more suspects to interview?

Dobie: Eh, yeah.. I guess.

Panda: You guess? Don't give up, Dobie! We can figure this out! C'mon, who's next on the list?!

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Dobie: *sigh* The next one on the suspect list is a.... Miss Bunnie. Lives next to Charlise.

Panda: Bunnie? Really?! Well, okay then! Let's go talk to her!




Time is now 11:09 AM. We're walking up to Bunnie's property. First impression... her house is pink. Who paints their house pink?
Ah, and there she is. Suspect appears to be doing yard-work, though the yard is already incredibly tidy... not a weed or branch in sight.


Panda: Hi Bunnie!! How have you been, girl?!

Bunnie: It's Panda!! And Detective Dobie! Like, what a lovely surprise! Tee-hee! I have been super STELLAR!

Panda: Yay!! Can we hang out for a bit? Have a chat?

Bunnie: That's a TOTALLY amazing idea, Panda! I wish I had thought of that first! Let's go inside, you two must be tired from all that walking!


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Dobie: Things? What kind of things?

Bunnie: *ignoring Dobie* Oh, this stupid door! The key likes to get stuck sometimes, it's so rude!

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Bunnie: Okay, here we are! Voila! Bunnie's Sanctuary! Teeheehee!

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Panda: Oh my gosh, Bunnie! Your aesthetic is so on point! And your home is so clean!

Dobie: Second impression.. Bunnie really likes pink.

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Panda: Hey, Bunnie! Do you mind if I take a look at your ID really quick? I bet you look sooo cute in it!

Bunnie: You'd be right, Panda! Take a look at THIS!

Panda: Wow!! So photogenic!

Bunnie: I know right? I spent ALL day putting on make-up and getting my hair just right! And then I had the photographer take the photo like 10 times! It's literally one of the best pictures of me there is!

*Dobie rolls his eyes*

Bunnie: So, like, what can I do for you two lovelies?! I know you guys didn't stop by just to get my autograph, teehee!


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Panda: Bunnie, we were wondering... Do you ever, like, experiment with magic?

Bunnie: Hehe, no way! Why would I do that? I don't need magic to ✨ dazzle ✨ the crowds! I do that fine enough on my own!

Panda: Of course! But do you know anyone that does play around with magic?

Bunnie: Hmmm.. I like, probably shouldn't say this, but.. I totes overheard Charlise say that she accidentally summoned a poltergeist in her vacation home. But like, that's just between me and you two, 'kay?

Dobie: Vacation home?

Bunnie: Tee-hee! I probably said too much. But that's what I heard! I don't know if it's true! Maybe Charlise was just trying to show off!

Panda: Oh! Do you have a vacation home, Bunnie?

Bunnie: Nope! My home is already like a vacation home! Living here in Melursus is so totally rad! Why would I ever want to leave?

Panda: One last question, Bunnie! Do you go to The Fruit Fly often?

Bunnie: All the time! That's where I drop off my famous fruity jams! They buy my jams wholesale! Oh, and that's also where I overheard Charlise say that weird thing about her vacation home! Hey, how about I give you some of my jam? It's soooo yum!

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Panda: Oh, I forgot you made your own jam! I can't wait to try some! What about you, Dobie?

Dobie: Nah, I'm good.

Bunnie: Teehee, what's wrong detective, afraid you'll get yourself in another jam?

Dobie: Huh?

Bunnie: Oh, and did you guys know that the jams I make are from 100% locally grown fruit from right here in Melursus? It's all organic and pesticide-free! AND fair trade!

Panda: Wowwie! That's really impressive!

Bunnie: Yep! Anyway, you two better hurry along now! My favorite TV show is about to come on! Maglev Mike just got his life back on track and I can NOT wait to see what songs he sings this time!

Dobie: Thanks for your time. We'll keep in touch.

Panda: TTYL, Bunnie! Thanks for the jam!!


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8:37 PM. After Panda and I finally left Bunnie's house, we immediately took a trip down to Resident Services to request Charlise' vacation home address, and a warrant to search the house. I knew something was up when we interviewed her.. She got all weird when we asked her if she had a vacation home. Charlise might actually be the perp. Medium-to-tall height, works with fruit, alleged magic-user, and apparently, a liar.

Panda and I will be heading out there tomorrow, hopefully.

Oh, I forgot to mention -- I found this in my mailbox when I got home:


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Seems to be the same human from that other photograph that a concerned citizen gave me a while ago. This human looks to be lurking around the Red & Breakfast. I wonder if Panda might have spotted this person? If only I could interview them. I don't even know where they might be living. Heck, it could be a hoax made up by the NOOKILEAKS team for all I know.

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Anyway, I'm off to make myself a very late breakfast. Breakfast for dinner is underrated.

🌴 🌴 🌴
 
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THE MELURSUS FILES
a valentine's interlude


🌴 💘 🌴 💘 🌴

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Yarrr, ahoy! I be Kapp'n. It be Valentine's Eve... Most folks don't know there is such a day, but Kapp'n do be proclaimin' it so.
I have me the most wonderful crew there is... me family.


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And I have me the most amazin' ship.. Me house!

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Me land ship has two floors!
A kitchen, a bathroom, a livin' room, and 3 bedrooms.
And, of course, a fridge full o' cucumbers!


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Though I loves me land ship so, my heart be yearnin' to set sail with my lady.
This is what Valentine's Day be fer!



Alas it finally be Valentine's Day.
Firstly, we have a mighty fine breakfast at The Roost.


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After which, we have Grams take our lil pearl back home.

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Secondly, we go down to the finest docks in Melursus, where we browse many an interestin' wares.

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Thirdly and fourthly, me Lady and I have a relaxin' time at the spa, where we soak in a hot bath and drink some strange teas.

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Fifthly, we travel to a secret part o' the woods, where the cherry blossoms are always a'bloomin.
We watch a fancy 3-D movie about some blue folk.


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An' sixthly, I treat me Lady to a gourmet spaghetti dinner, with many a piano tunes playin' just fer her.

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Seventhly, I end the day by settin' sail with me Lady in me old rowboat.
We have a dessert picnic underneath a blanket o' stars, and I sing her a sweet shanty thus:


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"I asked fer me wife's hand at sea.
(She said yes.)
Since then not a day goes by
I don't feel blessed.
Said, 'I needs ta raise me ol' crew number.'
Told her she was me li'l cucumber!"


Happy Valentines Day, me heartys!

🌴 💘 🌴 💘 🌴


 
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