Sexual Orientation & Gender Identity Support Thread

[SkyKnight03]

Happy Pride Month

 

[michealsmells]

LMAO POSTED IN WRONG THREAD CAUSE I WAS GONNA POST IN BOTH AT THE SAME TIME IM SO SLEEPY.

Happy pride month guys!! I am lesbian, ace, nobiney (masc), and very proud to be me. I could go on a whole tangent but I should go to bed. I can't believe I haven't posted in this thread before abt my nonbinary masc lesbian journey.

 

[Ravenkitty22]

Happy Pride Month everyone! I’m very proud and openly asexual, but I’ve also realized I’m panromantic. Definitely an interesting combo lol.

 

[-Mars-]

Happy Pride Month to all of TBT's LGBTQA+ members! I am Aroace, Queerplatonic, Genderqueer and Abrosexual/romantic

I've been questioning both my sexuality and gender identity for a couple years and I'm really happy I'm pretty confident I finally figured out the best terms that fit!

My gender is really complicated and I'm not really cis because I experience gender dysphoria which cis people shouldn't experience but I'm kind of not really trans either because I am not trying to transition to any particular gender I just want an androgynous body that isn't a woman's body nor a man's body and I have come to realize the term that fits me best is genderqueer, I used to be confused how genderqueer is different from non-binary but now I know! I'm not sure if I would say I identify with a particular gender or if I'm genderless(Agender) if I do identify with a gender I'm not really sure if it's more feminine or masculine or maybe both or fluid? But anyways the point is in general my gender is queer. I'm genderqueer!

I used to feel really confused about my sexuality for like at least two years and I was really confused if I'm a Lesbian or Bisexual and sometimes I would question if my attraction to women is fake because sometimes I even feel that I am straight and then I realized my sexuality was never permanent to begin with! My sexuality is not set in stone and my attraction to different genders changes over time and can even vary in intensity. I fluctuate between different labels in according to my current gender attraction, essentially it's extremely similar to genderfluid except with sexuality not gender. Sometimes I am a Lesbian, sometimes I am straight, sometimes I am Bisexual. This is why I was so confused because I'm Abrosexual/romantic!

I've identified as Aroace for at least 5 years and as Queerplatonic for like 4 or 5 years, I'm confident about these and don't question them.

 

[-Raven-]

I hope everyone who has struggled with these subjects at some point from this site is doing alright.

Tell ya the truth I'm not even sure on my gender anymore. I don't know if other issues are getting in the way of me seeing who I want to be anymore. I don't know if it's just that I don't like a lot of people and don't want to be lumped in any demographic... being nonbinary doesn't feel right either. I wish I could get top surgery every single day though. I think I'm still male but just want to express it in a way that really fits with nobody local to me.

This is veering more into AFAB support venting than identity venting, but I hate how doctors treat me when it comes to wanting sterilization and especially top surgery. They say not to jump the gun but it's clearly in a way where they want to delay until I drop the subject and give up and not actually taking my seriously. Can anyone relate to the feeling that people telling you to keep thinking is just a "soft" way of trying to make you detransition? Thinking of myself as a woman makes me absolutely sick even if I forget about others' expectations. I don't pass as anything else and it's absolutely soul-crushing, I don't know how I'm going to do my upcoming classes. I just don't want to exist in public with this body.

I don't know how I'm ever going to get top surgery. There are only a few doctors that even seem to do it in my country and I don't know how I would get it abroad and recover.

Playing as the Deadlock men and having people just refer to me as that character because I'm off comms is also very flattering and comfortable. I don't know if that's just me enjoying general game roleplaying because it really feels like more.

 

[malatangfein]

okay
been questioning my identity for a while
i hate being like a boy?? i think?? i hate being grouped with other men as i really feel that i don't fit in. i feel like i'd be so much more accepted and feel so much better if i were born a girl. i wouldn't gag at my appearance in the mirror because i look masculine. i want to have long hair, to have makeup, i want to be a girl and do girly things, dress girly, have a high voice, be pretty. i have memories from my early childhood of trying on clothes from the girl's section and LOVING it. i'd be so dissapointed when my parents told me that i couldn't wear that or those colors. this all are signs to like, switch teams, right??? well—i tried out she/her pronouns. i asked my friends to refer to me as she/her. but it didn't feel right. i didn't feel euphoria but i didnt feel dysphoria either. it just felt so unnatural and unaccustomed. i dont know what euphoria even is?????? ill do something slightly feminine and be happy but then immediately ill just label it as doing it for attention and acting like being trans when i'm not actually. i have no idea about anything about myself. i considered maybe i'm nonbinary or genderfluid, but just nothing felt right. i dont know???? i dont know anything about myself???? all i know is that i hate my man body. puberty isnt helping with any of this either because like i hate these changes. im growing body hair, my voice is getting deeper, my shoulders are becoming broader. i hate how im slowly becominv an actual man, when thats really not what i want. i hate being a man. i hate being myself. i don't know if im faking all this for attention and i keep convincinv myself that i am and its driving me crazy i hate when i do that so much because i cant be sure of anything about myself. i cant even decide whether i like a show or not without that ****ing voice in my head telling me 'ATTENTION SEEKER!' amd then ill be sad and then ill just think 'omb ur literally acting sad be for real' ITS BERE RIGHT NOW TELLING THAT IM SAYING ALL THIS FOR ATTENTION AND I NNOW FOR A FACT THAT I'M NOT. its driving me insane and i genuinely just need a place to think outside of my mind without any other voices but like
yknow
i cant
so i went a little off topic so back to the subject of my gender and identity
even if i get closure on what i am and who i am, i'm not sure my parents will accept who i am. my dad sure wont. he strictly prohibits any talk about switching genders/liking someone from the same gender. i dont even know i just feel so dirty

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

-snip-

I just want to start with the fact that our experiences aren't the exact same (I'm non-binary AFAB) but I can only imagine how confusing it must be to question your identity. I just want to say that, whatever makes you feel comfortable in your own skin, does not mean you're "attention-seeking" or "faking" - It's your right to express yourself the way you want! If you believe you're trans then you have every right to identify as such, but if you think you're something else that's also okay. While labels can help many people in the LBGTQ+ community, sometimes it can be too confusing and it's fine to not stick to any labels either. What really matters is that you're happy and people respect/support you for who you are.

I'm really sorry to hear that your parents are unsupportive, it's truly heartbreaking when you're not accepted by your own family. Regardless what anyone thinks, you're in charge of your own identity and happiness, and no one should take that away from you. Anyway, you can always post again in this thread if you need advice/support, I and many users would be happy to help.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

I identify as gender neutral myself but will mark male on forms because it’s easier than trying to explain my own gender identity. I actually have no pronoun preferences and will respond to any of them. When I was little, I DID want to be a girl but that was because I thought girls had a much easier life and I wanted to play with toys specifically aimed towards girls and I also thought if I was a girl then I’d automatically be super smart like my sister. I pretty much got over that little phase once I learned what happens to girls every month when I was twelve.

 

[Cirice]

The thread doesn't explicitly state romantic orientation but I assume this is still a safe place for (questioning?) aromantic people?
I'm wondering if I'm aromantic. How does one know what romantic attraction is supposed to be like?

 

[lasagne_of_death]

The thread doesn't explicitly state romantic orientation but I assume this is still a safe place for (questioning?) aromantic people?
I'm wondering if I'm aromantic. How does one know what romantic attraction is supposed to be like?

I've used the aromantic label for three-ish years at this point - so since I was fourteen. Also just to note before I get into everything, it's alright to think your aro and then it turn out that you're not, even after a long period of time. Don't fall into the mindset of feeling like you have to stick to a certain label once you've chosen it or used it long enough. It just makes you miserable.

Honestly couldn't tell you what romantic attraction feels like, but from my experience of being aro I can tell you why I use the term to describe myself

I've never had a crush on someone in my life so far, not from primary school, not from holidays, not from either of my secondary schools, church, camps, zilch. I've never fantasised about being in a relationship, and never found the concept appealing to me.

When kids, even in primary school, would be talking about their crushes and stuff I just wouldn't have an interest? I distinctly remember faking a crush to my friends so that they'd leave me alone from their prodding. I would tease my friends about who they fancied and stuff but it was more out of "hehe i have more ammunition to tease you with" than "I actually have an interest in this topic".

The thought of me, myself, being in a romantic relationship lowkey disgusts me. I can't imagine myself in a relationship with someone, and don't want to. I feel perfectly content with my platonic relationships, and feel no need or desire to take them any further. There was this one particular guy who liked me, and I felt bad about feeling horrified at the idea. It's not that I think the people are objectionable, it's just that I don't want that attention to be given by me or to me. Whenever he does the "haha I have your xyz item that I took from you right here because apparently I am a child and I think this is how you pull" I'm pretty sure I visibly cringe.

I have never seen a person walking by me on the street and thought that I want their number, or that they're attractive, or that I could be in a relationship with them. I find it weird, personally, that people can have a crush on someone that they do not know, even on the most superficial of levels.

When I think of myself in the future and am able to imagine it, I don't see myself in a romantic relationship of any sort. I see myself with two big great danes with glossy black coats.

Idk if any of this actually helps (or is even coherent). But tbh only you can know what orientation you really are. Sure, you can get help and advice from others but at the end of the day it's up to you how you choose to deal with your sexuality. Personally, I don't come out to anyone irl since people tend to either not believe me or think I have self worth problems that restrict me from feeling adequate in a romantic relationship

 

[Cirice]

That does help, thank you for your reply

See the thing is I've imagined myself in relationships, I'm not romance-repulsed. But now that I have a queerplatonic partner, which gives me everything I ever dreamed of in a relationship, without the romantic label, I'm left questioning what romance have more that queerplatonic or strong platonic relationships don't have?

I've had crushes on celebrities, and squishes for my friends. That doesn't mean I wanted to be involved romantically, I just wanted to be special in their eyes.
Intimacy? The idea of living with someone? Feeling a little obsessed over a person and wanting to be special in their eyes? I already have all of those with my QPP. I do imagine living with my best friends as roommates, because I love them a lot, but platonically. Exclusivity? My QPP is poly and it doesn't cause any issues to me.

Dating maybe? The idea of dating and getting to know someone just to get involved with them romantically seems weird to me, and tedious, I don't like that.

I don't even know what I'm asking I suppose I must be somewhere the aro spectrum, but I'm not sure I'm completely aro either. Or maybe I'm just not getting something.

 

[-Mars-]

-snip-

I'm Queerplatonic and have been in a Queerplatonic relationship before(though I suppose it was a bit too romantic for my ex's liking). The term Queerplatonic doesn't exactly have a "one size fits all" definition though the relationship you described with your QPP does seem to fit the bill of "not friends, dating or roommates but something else entirely".

Both Aromantic and Alloromantic people can be Queerplatonic as it is a specific relationship dynamic just like Polyamory. The term is most commonly heard in the Aromantic and Asexual communities but it's not exclusive to them.

It's okay to not understand if you are Aromantic or not, I've identified as Aromantic for nearly six years now though sometimes I question if I really am Aromantic or where I lie on the spectrum, if I'm Demiromantic or something. Labels can be helpful to some people if you want to use them but labels cannot always explain complicated human feelings, it's okay if you don't want to think too hard about it, explain how you feel to other people Etcetera. Your identity doesn't need to make sense to anyone(including yourself) in order for it to matter. Your feelings are valid even if they are hard to understand.

"Love" or whatever word you wish to use exists in many forms and doesn't need to look the same for everyone. All forms of love are beautiful and should be celebrated. Just because your relationship isn't inherently romantic in nature that doesn't mean it matters less compared to everyone else's relationships. Don't ever allow anyone to make you feel like you are "missing out" "broken" or "lesser than" because you don't want to date, get married or have a stereotypical romantic relationship.

You seem to very happy with your QPP, if you are satisfied with your own self and your relationship then I don't think it's an issue that you should allow to cause you negative feelings. Keep living your happiest life, who cares if nobody understands.

 

[CoolJhon Benry Adams]

Could someone please explain what gender dysphoria is, that term confuses me a bit when I hear it. I’ve googled it before but I never fully got it exactly so I thought I’d ask here since there are people with experience in that sorta thing.

This is the right thread for this right?

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

I'm Queerplatonic and have been in a Queerplatonic relationship before(though I suppose it was a bit too romantic for my ex's liking). The term Queerplatonic doesn't exactly have a "one size fits all" definition though the relationship you described with your QPP does seem to fit the bill of "not friends, dating or roommates but something else entirely".

Both Aromantic and Alloromantic people can be Queerplatonic as it is a specific relationship dynamic just like Polyamory. The term is most commonly heard in the Aromantic and Asexual communities but it's not exclusive to them.

It's okay to not understand if you are Aromantic or not, I've identified as Aromantic for nearly six years now though sometimes I question if I really am Aromantic or where I lie on the spectrum, if I'm Demiromantic or something. Labels can be helpful to some people if you want to use them but labels cannot always explain complicated human feelings, it's okay if you don't want to think too hard about it, explain how you feel to other people Etcetera. Your identity doesn't need to make sense to anyone(including yourself) in order for it to matter. Your feelings are valid even if they are hard to understand.

"Love" or whatever word you wish to use exists in many forms and doesn't need to look the same for everyone. All forms of love are beautiful and should be celebrated. Just because your relationship isn't inherently romantic in nature that doesn't mean it matters less compared to everyone else's relationships. Don't ever allow anyone to make you feel like you are "missing out" "broken" or "lesser than" because you don't want to date, get married or have a stereotypical romantic relationship.

You seem to very happy with your QPP, if you are satisfied with your own self and your relationship then I don't think it's an issue that you should allow to cause you negative feelings. Keep living your happiest life, who cares if nobody understands.

Is it like being Pan?

 

[malatangfein]

its so suffocating i hate my voice i hate my body i wish i could just take a break from being inside this body

Post automatically merged: Feb 5, 2026

ugh sorry this thread wasnt meant for tjat ts so corny

 

[saevar]

I use any pronouns (though starting to lean toward they/them). Otherwise, I'm not big on any labels for my gender, sexuality, or romantic orientation besides queer.