Religious Views: Seek Advice Here or Help Others!

[KainAronoele]

Heard there wasn't a Religion thread so thought I'd try to make an official one??
Here you can help people who have questions or seek advice about certain religions/things about the religion.


Rules:

- No negative or heated arguments. Debates are welcome, but keep it calm, within forum rules, and be open-minded. If giving advice or seeking you can't get angry over what someone response with.
- No stupid remarks or spam posts. (uneducated posts will be counted as spam) Be serious and courteous.
- No bashing other religions - to straight out say "this religion is stupid" or "if you believe in this you're stupid", and stuff of the sort, is not allowed, so don't bother typing it.
- Only answer and help them out if you really know how to help them, preferably if you are of that religion, used to be, or have studied it.
- If anyone breaks the above rules, just ignore them, don't add to the problem.
- If it's life-threatening seek help in private or find an official site made to help you out.
- I know some are sort of repeats, but to further explain I've added it in as another rule (shhhh)
- If anyone thinks I should add some rules, lemme know!​

---

My current problem I need help with is as follows -
(Religion: Christianity)

Spoiler: Has kind of been answered, but can still let me know what you think if you'd like

If you're a parent, is it your "job" to judge your children on what they do and choose in life, even if you're now an adult?
As far as I was aware of, you're not supposed to judge anyone as it is not our place. So how can it be their JOB to do so?

Spoiler: More info

My father thinks it is his job to judge my life and decisions (he actually said this to me, I'm not assuming). So he SEVERELY judges my relationship choice and would constantly lecture me about it and say that he doesn't approve of it, accusing me of not caring about my family if I go to move in with the person I love.
Surpassing the judging he would always guilt trip me into thinking that if I choose to be with my bf that I don't care about my family cuz I "want" to leave them.
I'm an adult and want to grow and live my life and form my own family, get married, have kids; how does that make me not love my family? I don't love my family cuz I want to expand my family....??

Just need some input on the matter. Hoping in both perspectives maybe, so I can further understand his logic? Cuz it honestly makes no sense to me.

​

 

[DarkDesertFox]

How weird. My sister just mentioned to me today what if a religious thread was made on here. I hope her other prediction about it being closed doesn't come true.

 

[KainAronoele]

How weird. My sister just mentioned to me today what if a religious thread was made on here. I hope her other prediction about it being closed doesn't come true.

Oh, a fellow semi-psychic! xD
Hope so too. Hopefully we'll all keep it positive. Just a place to seek help if you're like me and don;t have friends that really have the same religion or know how to have a calm conversation about it without getting all pissy cuz they automatically assume you're wanting to force your religion onto them :/

 

[kaylagirl]

My current problem I need help with is as follows -
(Religion: Christianity)
If you're a parent, is it your "job" to judge your children on what they do and choose in life, even if you're now an adult?
As far as I was aware of, you're not supposed to judge anyone as it is not our place. So how can it be their JOB to do so?

Spoiler: More info

My father thinks it is his job to judge my life and decisions. So he SEVERELY judges my relationship choice and would constantly lecture me about it and say that he doesn't approve of it and accusing me of not caring about my family if I go to move in with the person I love.
Surpassing the judging he would always guilt trip me into thinking that if I choose to be with my bf that I don't care about my family cuz I "want" to leave them.
I'm an adult and want to grow and live my life and form my own family, get married, have kids; how does that make me not love my family? I don't love my family cuz I want to expand my family....??

Just need some input on the matter. Hoping in both perspectives maybe, so I can further understand his logic? Cuz it honestly makes no sense to me.

​

Coming from a Christian (more specifically, raised Catholic):

​

Spoiler: long ass paragraphs

If you're a parent, is it your "job" to judge your children on what they do and choose in life, even if you're now an adult?: This is tough. I don't believe it's their "job" to "judge", but they WILL judge, I'm sure. I always believe in having open and honest opinions. I believe they (they = your parents) have a right to tell you what they THINK about you and your boyfriend, but they have absolutely no right to tell you that you no longer care about them. If this is your first serious relationship, maybe that's what your father is concerned about? It could also be the fact that you/your father has never met him in person. I, as a parent, would PERSONALLY be a bit concerned about a relationship where you've never met, only because I've seen how far some people that "catfish" have gone, and it would break my heart if that was happening to my child (NOT accusing your boyfriend of being a catfish, of course!!).
Growing up Catholic, we (or at least the church I went to) were taught to date someone within your church, or at least within your religion, etc. Follow the "Christian" rules of relationships (I don't think those need to be talked about here), and make sure your parents approve. No approval from daddy, no marriage.

As far as I was aware of, you're not supposed to judge anyone as it is not our place. So how can it be their JOB to do so?: As sad as it is, I believe everyone has at least SOME judgement on others, especially being Christian. There are many many things "you" (you = anyone) can do to be considered a "bad" Christian. I believe older people (such as our parents), are more prone to judgement, as they see the way they were raised as being the "correct" way to live, "courting", old-fashioned relationships, etc.

The way I see it with this situation is, I THINK he's just concerned for you (for the reasons listed above ^)? I don't know your father personally, so I can't say that for certain, of course. To recap: they're going to judge I'm sure, but they can't actually tell you what to do. It's YOUR life, you can make your own decisions. If you feel something is right, do it. If it's not right, you live and learn. That's the way my mom raised me, she's not like most of the Christians I grew up with. If your parents truly love you, they will learn to support, or at least ACCEPT, whatever choices you make. They love you, and I'm sure they only want what's best for you (in his own special way). I've since left the Catholic church, and I now attend a contemporary Baptist church, as I moved down south. They are much more open to the "new" ways of life.

I know it's hard, since he's your dad and all, but try not to let the things he says get to you. If you're happy, CONTINUE TO BE HAPPY. Life is short, make it your own, and make the best of it. One of my favorite quotes about stuff like this actually comes from a Macklemore song, "Man-made rewiring of a predisposition, playing God. America the brave still fears what we don't know. And "God loves all his children," is somehow forgotten, but we paraphrase a book written thirty-five-hundred years ago."

I wish you the best of luck with your relationship (both family and boyfriend), and I'm here if you ever need to talk! I hope nothing I said has upset you!"

 

[EpicGamer12]

In terms of Christianity, parents should try to steer their children down the right path. Regardless of this, you are your own person and your decisions are your own. Your parents should love you whether or not they agree with your decisions.
If you're asking these questions based on your own experience with your parents, it is likely you're perceiving them wanting what is best for you as them judging you decisions. They obviously care about you or they wouldn't bother "judging" you at all.

 

[Bowie]

I have a feeling this thread won't end well.

I personally believe religion is one of the most awful things to ever originate on this planet. Now, I have absolutely nothing against religious people (provided they aren't bigots) as I am a very spiritual person myself and understand how awful it is when your personal beliefs are attacked like that, but religion itself is something I hate. I hate the way it tears families apart, can contribute to LGBT+ suicides, and can even turn deadly (Islamic State being only one example). The only religion (if it even counts as a religion) I can really respect is Buddhism, because they don't do anything malicious. They're respectful to all walks of life and preach love, something a lot of religious people tend to forget about completely.

I classify as an atheist, but I'm very spiritual and I believe in life after death. I just think that we don't know as much as we think we do, and I personally just want to search for myself. I don't like the idea of reading something that tells me things about life. I want to experience them myself and have any religious entity speak to me, if they are existent. I'm on a constant spiritual journey and religion is just not part of that. I'm free.

 

[KainAronoele]

Coming from a Christian (more specifically, raised Catholic):

​

Spoiler: long ass paragraphs

If you're a parent, is it your "job" to judge your children on what they do and choose in life, even if you're now an adult?: This is tough. I don't believe it's their "job" to "judge", but they WILL judge, I'm sure. I always believe in having open and honest opinions. I believe they (they = your parents) have a right to tell you what they THINK about you and your boyfriend, but they have absolutely no right to tell you that you no longer care about them. If this is your first serious relationship, maybe that's what your father is concerned about? It could also be the fact that you/your father has never met him in person. I, as a parent, would PERSONALLY be a bit concerned about a relationship where you've never met, only because I've seen how far some people that "catfish" have gone, and it would break my heart if that was happening to my child (NOT accusing your boyfriend of being a catfish, of course!!).
Growing up Catholic, we (or at least the church I went to) were taught to date someone within your church, or at least within your religion, etc. Follow the "Christian" rules of relationships (I don't think those need to be talked about here), and make sure your parents approve. No approval from daddy, no marriage.

As far as I was aware of, you're not supposed to judge anyone as it is not our place. So how can it be their JOB to do so?: As sad as it is, I believe everyone has at least SOME judgement on others, especially being Christian. There are many many things "you" (you = anyone) can do to be considered a "bad" Christian. I believe older people (such as our parents), are more prone to judgement, as they see the way they were raised as being the "correct" way to live, "courting", old-fashioned relationships, etc.

The way I see it with this situation is, I THINK he's just concerned for you (for the reasons listed above ^)? I don't know your father personally, so I can't say that for certain, of course. To recap: they're going to judge I'm sure, but they can't actually tell you what to do. It's YOUR life, you can make your own decisions. If you feel something is right, do it. If it's not right, you live and learn. That's the way my mom raised me, she's not like most of the Christians I grew up with. If your parents truly love you, they will learn to support, or at least ACCEPT, whatever choices you make. They love you, and I'm sure they only want what's best for you (in his own special way). I've since left the Catholic church, and I now attend a contemporary Baptist church, as I moved down south. They are much more open to the "new" ways of life.

I know it's hard, since he's your dad and all, but try not to let the things he says get to you. If you're happy, CONTINUE TO BE HAPPY. Life is short, make it your own, and make the best of it. One of my favorite quotes about stuff like this actually comes from a Macklemore song, "Man-made rewiring of a predisposition, playing God. America the brave still fears what we don't know. And "God loves all his children," is somehow forgotten, but we paraphrase a book written thirty-five-hundred years ago."

I wish you the best of luck with your relationship (both family and boyfriend), and I'm here if you ever need to talk! I hope nothing I said has upset you!"

Thanks for giving your take on it! ^^

Spoiler: In further response to it

First, we're First Baptist, and as far as I know he's been Baptist since he got with my mother.
Most people say that he's just wanting what's best for me, and though I know that's probably part of it, it seems to go much further than that. He's one of those that seems to be "it's the way I see it/think it should be, or it's wrong" kind of person. Especially when it comes to "Being a man" if it's not the way he'd do it, then that guy isn't a real man.
He once told me that my bf isn't a real man or really cares about me cuz when he got stung by a bee, which he is highly allergic to and had to go to Emerg he told me what happened and said he didn't know if he'd be ok, but will let me know asap. I went to my dad for comfort cuz I'm really sensitive and was freaking out and he got mad cuz he said that's not what a man would say to someone he cares about. Then told me a story how when he ripped his tendon he didn't call my mom and make her worry, he went to the bathroom, wrapped it up and went home, then when she got home he told her about it.
Like, everyone is different, and honestly though I may get scared, I'd rather know the truth and be able to say that I love him and know what's going on, then him to falsely say he'll be ok then something happen and me never see/talk to him again. I'd rather have that temporary fear, than to never know and feel horrible for the rest of my life for not being able to say goodbye..
That happened with one of my cats.. Something bad happened to him and when we were in the emergency room the nurse at the desk said to calm down that he'll be alright, and they ended up putting him to sleep. I still cry about that sometimes, it was like 7 years ago, and I still sometimes wish I could have told him goodbye.
I do also understand about the catfish thing, but honestly at this point I really don't think that's possible. It's been over 2 years. We Skype all the time, used to use each other's credit cards, I've met his mom and son on Skype, he's getting his passport, etc. And seriously, I don't think any guy could put up with me for this long unless they saw something in me. I'm way too emotional and also very jealous lol.. Idk, I know it;s probably always a possibility until we actually meet, but honeslty, anyone can be fake, even in person. How I see it, you could meet a stranger at a bar or anywhere, get close to them and feel like you know them, then you finally come over and they're some psycho that does creepy things to you.
Idk... getting into a weird subject though...
Also, it bugs me due to him getting together with my mom and a week later he asks her to marry him, then a month after that they get married. And then, maybe a year or so after that they moved 3 states away from my mom's parents. Like isn't that kinda weird too? Isn't that taking her away from her parents? Didn't they accept that and realize she's an adult and needs to live her own life now too?
Even my gma understands and though she's never met or even talked to him she says "I will love him as long as he treats you nice." And accepts that I will go off and start my own life, and grandmas are supposed to be the overly attached ones! Lol.

I honestly feel like almost every week our message in service speaks to our situation, especially to him and how he should be, but because it's not what he wants to hear, he manipulates it and rewords it into his favor.
I just feel he's a hypocrite a lot of times, and though maybe he does only want me safe, he goes so over the top that it makes it into a negative thing. Idek.

Thanks! And no worries ~

- - - Post Merge - - -

In terms of Christianity, parents should try to steer their children down the right path. Regardless of this, you are your own person and your decisions are your own. Your parents should love you whether or not they agree with your decisions.
If you're asking these questions based on your own experience with your parents, it is likely you're perceiving them wanting what is best for you as them judging you decisions. They obviously care about you or they wouldn't bother "judging" you at all.

No, I brought up to him once during a lecture he was giving me about my life choices that I thought God says to not judge others. And he said that as a parent it is his job to judge me and my decision. He straight out said it, which is why I wanted to know.
I understand they care, it's just the way he speaks of it is what really bothers me.

I have a feeling this thread won't end well.

I personally believe religion is one of the most awful things to ever originate on this planet. Now, I have absolutely nothing against religious people (provided they aren't bigots) as I am a very spiritual person myself and understand how awful it is when your personal beliefs are attacked like that, but religion itself is something I hate. I hate the way it tears families apart, can contribute to LGBT+ suicides, and can even turn deadly (Islamic State being only one example). The only religion (if it even counts as a religion) I can really respect is Buddhism, because they don't do anything malicious. They're respectful to all walks of life and preach love, something a lot of religious people tend to forget about completely.

I classify as an atheist, but I'm very spiritual and I believe in life after death. I just think that we don't know as much as we think we do, and I personally just want to search for myself. I don't like the idea of reading something that tells me things about life. I want to experience them myself and have any religious entity speak to me, if they are existent. I'm on a constant spiritual journey and religion is just not part of that. I'm free.

As long as people can be mature about it (lol, yeah right...) it should go alright ^^

I understand where you come from, seems this generation, you never know what to believe anymore. So much chaos and people doing stupid things.
A problem for both sides is that I do not like the Christians that go overboard and ruin our name over all this LGBT stuff or whatever. Yeah, I don't necessarily agree it's the right thing to be, and think it's a choice, I don't shun them or try to force them to be straight or they'll burn in Hell. I don't do that stuff, yes, I disagree, but as said it's not our place to cast judgement on them and claim what will happen to them. You don't know.
I also respect those that choose to have different religions or were raised to have a different one. I voice my opinion when asked, but I don't force it down their throats.

I do wish ppl didn't take things to such far measures. I also think it's important to find yourself as well, and know where you belong and feel comfortable about it too.

 

[Money Hunter]

I'm not sure what he means by 'you leaving your family'. If it's a problem, just buy them a house near the house of you and your BF? sorry im stupid

If you mean that your BF is a different religion from you and your dad doesn't approve of it, don't try to change his mind. You've already put so much effort into trying to explain to him that this is what you want and it's clear that he doesn't want to change his mind.

Remember that marriages between people of different religions are a very new thing, and there's a lot of mixed opinions about it. Your dad was probably born into a family as strict about religion as he is, but the people around him probably taught him to be less open-minded as kids these days are. He probably is trying to wrap his head around "why his daughter wants to marry that ______ religion guy"

Anyway, I wish the best of luck for both you and your BF!

 

[Soda Fox]

I'm going to keep it brief since I don't even know how long this thread will remain open, but I consider myself a pantheist. In other words, I believe the universe is "god", and believe we are only governed by natural laws (thermodynamics, conservation of energy, etc.). I was raised Christian.

I think it's a parent's job to educate their child, help them mature into a capable adult who can take care of themselves, set a good example for them. I don't think it's up to parent's to judge their children. I learned growing up that God is the only one who can judge anyone, and even if I don't follow the Christian faith anymore, I still take that lesson to heart. I also follow the Golden Rule: Treat others as you would like to be treated. My philosophy works out well for me. I lead a happy and successful life. I don't really need anything else in the mix to complicate what I have.

 

[Nebulaquatic]

here's my thing with religion okay I'm not religious at all, but I can't stand it when people bash others for what they believe in and for what they don't believe in, just because someone believes in God shouldn't give you the right to treat them like they are dumb for believing in something that gives them comfort, and just because someone doesn't believe in God doesn't give you the right to try to shove your views onto them and tell them that they are sinners, seriously just respect each other is it that hard?

oh right because people hate other people having opinions that are different from theirs how silly of me :I

but seriously, you can believe or not believe just don't be a jerk​

- - - Post Merge - - -

also guess I should mention that I'm an apatheist

an apatheist is someone who considers the question of the existence of gods as neither meaningful nor relevant to their life. Some apatheists hold that if it were possible to prove that God does or does not exist, their behavior would not change.
​

 

[Beardo]

I'm agnostic. Even mentions of religion make me really uncomfortable.

Spoiler: Weird stuff

So whenever I went to church (I used to most Sundays) during worship my thoughts got really weird and like, sexual, so that's part of the reason I stopped going. It made me uncomfortable and it felt wrong and I got guilty.

Plus I went to church camp a few years ago and some homophobic statements were made, so I was pissed. It's a sore subject for me now. Whenever people bring up church or ask me if I go I get tense. It's especially awkward when it's mentioned at school and stuff.

 

[MyLifeIsCake]

Spoiler: stuff

I don't want to say that I'm not a spiritual person, because in terms of life after death I do believe that there is something, but that's something we won't experience until we go through it. However, I feel as though I don't affiliate myself with any religion. I wouldn't call it atheism, because I do believe in forces greater than us. But I've never felt right accepting myself into any certain religion. Yes, there are good parts of being a part of a group which shares the same beliefs of good morals, but there are also the negative sides that I won't go into particular about to avoid offending people. I will say this though, I was born and raised in the south, in the 'Bible Belt' if you'd call it that, and religion and traditions seems to push the lives of many people here (not as much as the older days but still...) That being said, I have never spoken a word of how I stand on this topic to any of my family besides my sister. I don't feel safe sharing my feelings on this topic to family, who are all avid church goers, out of the fear of them never speaking to me again, which wouldn't be the first time its happened due to this issue. It tortures me to feel this way, and maybe I'll 'come out' with this and tell them one day.

Any advice I'd give to someone who is questioning their religious faith would to be go with your own beliefs, even if they are against the ones that surround you. Ultimately, it's what you chose to believe in that will lead your own spirituality.

 

[Earth Wolf-Howl]

I'm personally agnostic. I personally don't mind religion, as long as those who are a part of it respect others' views, but as Bowie said... it's just when it gets to the point when it becomes a catalyst for hatred, I always think that we're better off without it. (No offense to anyone, of course.)

As for your predicament, Kain, here's my viewpoint: I believe it's right if you're still legally a child: after all, it's your parents' duty to teach you right from wrong. But you're not a child. You're legally an adult, which means that you're entitled to make your own decisions, and your parents cannot force you to do anything. So, in this situation: it's wrong. It's not right for your father to guilt trip you into staying around. Besides, it's a fact of life: all children leave home someday. And he seems to forget that you can still communicate with them. If you really didn't love your family, you'd be more likely to break all ties with them.

 

[tumut]

Spoiler: tl;dr

I don't like the idea of organized religion and think everyone should have their own independent beliefs. I don't like how someone might feel bad or guilty or like they're gonna go to hell if they don't believe in something. It's almost like guilt tripping them into believing in something, even though I know they might mean well everyone should feel comfortable to believe what they want. I went to Catholic School for 4 years and I had a religion class that I had to take every year on the Catholic faith as a main class along with Math, English, Science, etc. I like how Christianity can turn someone's life around from drugs or crime or whatever, but they're is just a lot of stuff in the bible I disagree with. What I hate more than anything is how a lot of Christians say you choose to be gay/bi/lesbian etc. I'm gay and I know for a fact that I didn't choose to be gay. It's depressing when you like someone who is straight and know they won't ever like you back. Not to mention that LGBT+ groups are looked down upon by lot of people.And I'm not saying I wanna change who I am or anything. The only reason I could see why anyone would want to be LGBT+ is if they really wanted attention or wanted to be a special snowflake. I also don't like some of the sexist things in the bible, how eating too much food is actually a sin (gluttony), and how they believe if you aren't saved you go to hell even you never heard of Christianity and live in some remote area of the world. This is from the Christians I've spoken to, I know this doesn't apply to everyone. And of course you're not a bad person and it's not wrong to believe these things, I just don't agree with them. I personally believe there's a higher form of power in the universe, but don't really worship anything and just believe in being a good person overall ( I think that's agnostic?)

 

[-Apples-]

I'm a Christian here, but I don't seem to value religion enough. I don't go to church, not very often. I do plan on going back to church frequently someday.

 

[Jake]

I'm a Christian Muslim and whenever I am struggling I listen to these songs:

 

[Lady Timpani]

Yeah, I can see this getting closed, but I may as well enjoy it for now.

I'm very interested in spirituality as a whole. I really like learning about different religions, and while I don't really identify with any as of right now, I think there's some truth to most, if not all, religions out there. I've been trying to learn more about pagan religions recently, and I find them very fascinating.

 

[Jake]

Yeah, I can see this getting closed, but I may as well enjoy it for now.

It's only going to get closed if people flame others

 

[EpicGamer12]

Spoiler: Weird stuff

So whenever I went to church (I used to most Sundays) during worship my thoughts got really weird and like, sexual, so that's part of the reason I stopped going. It made me uncomfortable and it felt wrong and I got guilty.

LOL that's very weird
I know you're not blaming church but that's clearly nothing to do with religion, that's all ur own crap

 

[Yukari Yakumo]

I personally am agnostic. There hasn't really been anything that appeals to me.
When I was a kid, my parents took me to Sunday school, but it was never something vital to me.
At one point, we simply stopped going and I wasn't very concerned. Years later, my mother and step-mother(who has since left our lives), decided we needed to start going to church, and so I was dragged along. This was not enjoyable at all, seeing as how there was no choice on my end. I was there unwillingly and that added a sense of disdain to the process that has never quite gone away. I was left wondering "Why are we suddenly into it again? We were fine without it."
I don't approve of organized religion. The ceremony and tradition always feel hollow; tradition for tradition's sake always really gets me miffed.

On a related and cheerier note, I just finished my minor on Religious Studies, so I've seen many of the arguments for one side or another and I've heard way better in class than any sermon I was subjected to.
My college also likes to have a public debate each semester on whether God(as in creator of the universe) exists or not. Always interesting, though the God side doesn't seem to bring any new arguments and often forgets the 2 big rules for their side: 1) the bible is not a sitable source, and 2) "I feel him in my heart" is not valid evidence

Spoiler

One thing of great interest I learned is that a person's interpretation of God(or whatever gods you choose; I'll just say God as a placeholder) is usually defined by their relationship with their parents.
If their relationship is good, God resembles their parents in behavior. If the relationship is bad, God is the opposite.
Example(fictional but demonstrative): Ned Flanders. The uber-Christian who is known for having said "I did all the stuff you told me to. Even all the stuff that contradicts the other stuff." Ned Flanders hates his parents who are permissive beatnicks. Therefore, God resembles what he considers the ideal parents he never had: strict, by-the-book, rule obsessed, etc.