Question about BFs.

If you delete them on the 3DS friend list they might still be on your BF list until you delete them from there. And I think TPCs update the next time you meet them
 
When you delete someone's friend code on the 3DS, their TPC would still be displayed on BF list; however, it would never display that person as being online, and you could not message them. You'd have to delete the person on BF list as well, although, if you deleted his or her friend code, there would be no communication.
Also, I believe a friend's TPC updates when he or she comes to your town, or you go to his or hers. I don't think it updates when they are online at the same time as you, but I could be wrong about that.
 
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