Place your random thoughts.

i wonder how long lower back pain caused by lifting too heavy of a weight takes to heal bc i'm NOT loving it right now
 
I need to get back into exercising again. I’m not unhealthy or anything. I’m actually skinny for my height and I’ve been losing weight instead of gaining any somehow. But it would certainly help with muscles and feeling better each day. I can’t return to martial arts right now because of the virus, but I can use the gym equipment here. I need to make use of that and focus on what I can do for now.
 
TW: suicide

RIP Hana. It’s so disgusting how people can be so cruel to the point where this sort of thing happens. Humanity sometimes. . .I have little faith in it as a whole, generally speaking.
I know how you feel. Heartbreaking for Hana. I sometimes feel there are mostly people who do more harm than good tbh. A lot of people seem way too toxic lately. Have you heard about Shad Gaspard though? His story is so heartbreaking yet heroic. Very brave person. People like him restore my faith. Really wish he were still alive though. He deserves to be alive. RIP Shad Gaspard
 
I'm on my desktop so I can actually see everyone's signatures wowwww so beautiful
 
So, I decided to restart again. I'm really not sure why I stood by the map I had previously, but the town hall just was too close to the airport.
I decided to reset for the biggest peninsula, but I would also take a look at maps whose airport entrance could lead straight to the middle of the town hall. My usual choices is peach and yellow airport. There's no reason to care about native flower, but I would love to have roses.

I've been resetting for like 5 hours, which isn't too bad considering it was a late night decision. I learned not to be too hung up on things that can be terraformed, even though I'm terrible at terraforming. I can learn to do better, even if it takes me hundred tries. It can be changed.

Then, of course, I got a good map. It's the biggest peninsula and the town hall area is further away. You don't immediately see the area from the airport, and it already gives me plans for a nice plateau entrance that's not too extreme. And even if I change my mind, it still works as an open entrance. I got two (lower tier) dreamies whose usual interior is terrible according to my personal taste. So far so good.

The only "problem" is that the airport is blue. The blue airport items aren't better than the yellow onws (except for the tea cup ride, but other items are much worse), but I do think I can stick with it until we get a choice to change it. And even if we can't change it, I can somewhat justify it because it's the Dodo color, but also it's the favorite color of my parents. I don't like the blue plane in the water, but the rest is too good. And of course I just want to play the game and be happy with my map. So right now I could only reset for the perfect alignment and the perfect pixels, which is pretty stupid because it's impossible to do. And the perfect alignment forces you to just go with that.

I made the decision to stick with blue because I told myself if my native flower is rose, I should stick with it. And of course it was. I considered continuing resetting because what I'm looking for in a map is not too difficult to find, but in some weird way I think that this was meant to be? Like, maybe I'm going to find the perfect map when I'm not looking for the yellow airport? It sounds stupid, but I need to justify the blue in some way. 😂 Overthinking about a color is stupid, but I like that I arrive from my "family world" to my own personal world that I can create.

Anyway, I just wanted to put down my feelings somewhere, because I'm definitely choosing this map even with that one "flaw".
I really miss the blog posts, I don't really want to make an island journal thread when I'm prone to resetting. 😅
 
Opened the same notebook I write in every single day to the beginning to check for something, and find several sticky notes stuck inside the front cover in a former co-workers handwriting. Other than May 1st (when I didn't have the notebook with me), I haven't seen her since February or March. I probably won't see her again. It made me smile to find a reminder of her.
 
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