Started feeling down, and I eventually ended up thinking about my mother. She just doesn't like me at all. She has no trouble telling me how worthless I am, or how she doesn't believe in me. She was talking on the phone with my uncle today, and said that I couldn't handle having a job. I was in the room the entire time, eating lunch with the family. I don't understand. In the past, she has said she wanted to adopt a child than have me, right in front of my face to another one of my family members. That family member at least knew better than to say that sort thing about your child it seemed, because then he told my mother not to say that. She doesn't like me. In the past, she has physically assaulted me and has threatened me with a knife. She has mocked and laughed at me when I had mental breakdowns, or screamed me when I was upset. She said that I'm ugly, and that she doesn't even want to look at me. She said that I don't have any mental illnesses at all. She said that I'm lazy and irresponsible just like my dad, and that I'm a freeloader. She says that once I turn 18, she can't wait to kick me out of the house and cancel my therapy sessions because they're useless. I'm pretty damaged. I'm made to think that I'm worthless, and sometimes, I believe that. Right now I do.