Giveaway Marshal is leaving on the 3rd!

[PandaMasque]

lol, he's leaving the day after my birthday. I was considering selling him, but decided to do a giveaway for the occasion. I'm aware he's top tier, but I'm not overly attached to him and he doesn't fit my town theme.

My only requirement is to give me your best worst pun. Winner will be given to the person that makes me and friends laugh the hardest. I'll end it on my birthday at 10:00PM PST. You MUST be online for at least the 2nd or 3rd day of March.

May the punniest man/woman win. =0)

~~~~
Contest over! Based on the reactions of myself and 3 other people, the winner is:

The butcher backed up into his meat grinder, and got a little behind in his work. B)

Congratulations, you get Marshal!

and I know I didn't add this before, but because of the amount of submissions, I've decided to add prizes for 2nd and 3rd place winners:

2nd place gets 100k gold: jinico (chemistry pun)
3rd place gets 6 gold roses: TheElbowKing (Rick Astley/Pixar pun)

and honorable mentions:
Emiko's 90 degree corner pun
Shax's atheist pun

Thank you to everyone who participated!

 

[LoveOtome]

I thought this was funny

 

[professorjose]

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks him, "why the long face?"

And the horse doesn't reply, because he's a horse.

 

[Ayumi-Crossing]

 

[KaydeeKrunk]

I shouldn't have worn my galaxy leggings to yoga this morning, because now there is a tear in the fabric of space.

 

[ichigomariti]

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a soda?
He was lucky it was a soft drink.

 

[kasane]

Just one question: Is he original?

 

[seliph]

I had ordered a lion statuette for a Pride award but something went wrong somewhere down the line, and when it arrived it had only the rear end of the lion.

It was a catastrophe.

 

[LeilaChan]

 

[Manaberry]

The butcher backed up into his meat grinder, and got a little behind in his work. B)

 

[PandaMasque]

Just one question: Is he original?

no, he's not. partly why I'm just giving him away. (only a few original pieces of furniture are still there, but that's about it.)

keep em coming guys, these are terribly awesome. <3

 

[KaydeeKrunk]

I found this really cool 3 foot measuring stick at a yardsale the other day....

- - - Post Merge - - -

You know I heard that the easiest people to interrogate are drug dealers, you know, because they do crack.

- - - Post Merge - - -

I just got this amazing book on anti-gravity, it's impossible to put down.

- - - Post Merge - - -

My friend gave me this movie on beavers, told me it was the best dam movie he's ever seen!

- - - Post Merge - - -

If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed...

 

[PandaMasque]

bump!

 

[Karminny]

These are a punishment to read ((Mightve stolen it from my friend))

 

[Emiko]

Person 1: My door handle is missing?
IM HAVING A CRISIS HERE WHERE IS MY DOOR HANDLE

Person 2: it seems like u can't handle the situation

Person 1: get out

Person 2: how?

//I'm very sorry about this. Don't PUNish me.

 

[PandaMasque]

bump x0D

 

[PandaMasque]

bump

 

[Chelida]

A Pokemon trainer came and asked me... "Why do you have a level 100 magikarp in your team" and I said "Wynaut"

 

[Manaberry]

Person 1 : You wanna hear a ghost joke?

Person 2: No

Person 1: That's the spirit!

 

[seliph]

Are we allowed to enter more than one?

Oxygen went on a date with Potassium today... it was OK.