Losing/putting down a pet for the first time...

[marzipanmermaid]

My cat Molly is 19 years old; I adopted her when she was 10 months old and we've been best friends since. Last summer, we started noticing things changing with her. Mainly her weight. Molly has always been teeny tiny because she was kind of a runt, but she got even smaller. We couldn't afford to do all the tests, but we did what we could to see what was going on: a few blood tests and a few x-rays. We thought it was her thyroid. Everything came back okay, but the vet said something could still be wrong, we just wouldn't know until we did the more expensive tests to see if there was something going on. We couldn't do them because money is always so tight in my house, which I understand.

Things were normal until this year, when the constant crying started and the ravenous eating. We give my cat a teaspoon of wet food in the morning and at night, all while having a bowl of dry food available at all times. It's grown from two times a day to almost every hour on the hour. She's lost more weight to the point where petting her was starting to be...a bit off-putting because you can feel all her little bones and her spine. Then recently the accidents started. Molly has never peed in anyone's room. So, we thought maybe her litter box was dirty or that maybe she wasn't happy with it. We bought her a new one, put it next to the old one, and it's been a few days, and she's maybe used the bathroom once or twice. She won't go, but the accidents keep happening.

Mom and I took her to the vet on Friday morning to do the same blood work to see if something changed, if we could get her on some medicine for her thyroid if it was that all along, just something because she's been so...not Molly. The main vet was rude and kept saying it was because she was ancient and that this is what old cats do: eat and sleep. But I know my cat and she's been old forever and this is all new. You don't go from almost 5 lbs to barely 3 in a year unless something is wrong. I got the news that afternoon that Molly's kidneys are shutting down and her WBC are low, which is a probable sign of cancer. This vet was nicer so she was trying to walk me through my options and to help, but I can't afford any of them (and I can't see myself giving my cat several injections a day when she's so skinny...), except maybe changing her food to at least ease her kidneys for the time. (That's if she'll even eat it...) Even if it is her thyroid, treating it will just shut her kidneys down for good. I kind of got too upset to ask what I really needed to know so I called back yesterday to ask more.

It costs $48 to take care of my best friend; I spent that same amount of money on supplies to tie-dye some stuff with a friend that day. Putting my cat down costs as much as some crafting supplies and that's just really messing me up because that's like nothing... And she's not nothing. She's basically been my everything since I adopted her. I asked the vet how will I know when the suffering and the really ugly stuff starts happening and she said when Molly stops eating completely that that's when I should bring her in to ask for some advice/help in making my decision so I know I'm doing the right thing, at the right time.

I've never lost a pet... Molly is the first and only pet I've ever had. I know I have to let her go if she's suffering and I will because I don't want her to be in any pain. I'm just trying to cram in as much love as I can and to make her as happy/comfy as possible in the whatever amount of time she has left.

Has anyone lost a pet to sickness or put one down? I've seen animals get put down on animal shows; is it just like that? Will I be allowed to hold her or anything when they do it? How long does it take? I was too scared to ask... That's selfish of me. I googled it and stumbled on these horrible stories of complications and animals panicking and I just stopped. This is probably such a stupid thread to make but I've been upset about this for days and I guess I just wanted to talk to some "normal" people about it instead of the vets, who are just so matter-of-fact about her. I know she's been lucky to live this long, but I thought she'd have more time to share. That's all...

 

[Officer Berri]

I had a cat named Calico in High School. She was a Christmas/birthday present from my mom. I got her when she was a kitten. A few years later she started acting funny. Being unable to control her bladder. Took her to the vet and they gave her some shots for allergies and stuff related to fleas, and had scheduled a check up the following Monday. She died violently the night after the first vet visit. I found her under my bed, unable to move at all, just crying sadly. I held her in my arms, sobbing. Grandfather got angry at me and told me we weren't going to go out and find an emergency pet center at 9 at night. I tried to go to bed but I couldn't knowing my baby was suffering so badly. I had school the next day but I stayed up for an hour or so... then Calico started to convulse and fell out of the chair she was resting in... and she was gone. We wrapped her up in a blanket and buried her a few days later. When the vet called to ask why I didn't come in for the check up, I angrily told them my cat was dead and hung up on them. They sent a letter of condolence a few days later. They've known my family since I was a kid, and I was very angry that my first visit with Calico didn't happen with our usual vet, but one of his nurse practitioner type people. Every time I see that woman instead of him I get really tense and angry.

We don't know what happened to Calico. We got her from a really dirty smelling pet shop on the other side of Indianapolis though, so it's possible she had preexisting conditions.

The kitten I had gotten a few months after getting Calico's been perfectly healthy though, and she was a baby barn-cat that my mom's ex-husband got for free after a delivery job. Flora helped me get over Calico quickly, but I still miss Cali sometimes. She would sit on top of my computer monitor back before I got a flat screen. Took her ages to get used to flat screens, lol.

...Gosh between this thread and the dead loved ones thread I'm kind of not feeling so good anymore.

 

[Tommi]

I can't imagine what you're going through, I've had my cat Dolce for 11 years so I know if anything happened to him I'd be devastated!

19 years is a long time for a cat, you should be happy and very proud that you've looked after Molly so well that she has reached this age and is only now beginning to show signs of age, you're amazing!

Sometimes though, it is the best option to put them down to ease their pain, in the future if anything happens to Dolce I wouldn't be able to see him in pain everyday, that would be more heartbreaking than letting him go peacefully.

I know it's a hard decision, I'll be thinking of you. Stay strong!

 

[Reenhard]

My brothers cat for couple years ago had to be put asleep. I remember I was petting him all the time untill he was completly gone. He had lots of pain and I fellt more sorry for him, The cat were really sick and were so expensive and couldnt effort it. It is really really painful to watch. The cat wasent mine so I had not the same feeling as my other brother had. But sometimes I do think about the time my cat had to leave me. Im crying thinking about my princess dissepearing from me. Even if its the only right to do, its better they fall asleep than they suffers.

 

[Lady Timpani]

I'm so sorry. I don't have much advice since the only pet I've ever put down was my dachshund when I was in first grade, and I wasn't there when it happened. He was really old and had been with my parents long before I was born, so they were understandably upset about it. My mom couldn't stay in the room, but my dad did, so I believe it is common practice for you to be allowed to be there with them. I think it generally makes the animal feel very safe and loved, too, so I don't understand why the vet wouldn't let you in there.

All my other pets that have died have passed away at my house, and I would have much preferred for them to have been put down than go through that suffering. My guinea pig that had been sick for awhile kind of had a freak accident where his nose got stuck in the bars of his cage, and he died later that night. My cocker spaniel also passed away kind of suddenly when I was in the tenth grade, and I didn't even get to see him because I couldn't make it down the stairs (my ankle was sprained). Suffice to say, both times sucked, and I respect and understand your wanting to keep her around without wanting to prolong her suffering.

I'm so sorry again. That's such an awful thing to have to go through, especially since she's practically grown up with you. Let me know if you need anything, okay?

 

[ShinyYoshi]

I know your pain, and I'm sorry you're going through this. We got a dog, Mitsy, when I was 3 years old. And she was with us until I was 16. I grew up with this dog, she had been around me basically my entire life. I had no idea what life was even like before we had that dog. But when she was around 13, she got sick very suddenly and it got really bad, really quickly. She had always been pretty healthy, despite losing her hearing around 10 years or so. So we noticed her change in health and behavior right away and took her to the vet as soon as we could. And after that, things only got worse. Her health was so bad just after 2 days and the doctors told us she needed to be out down, there was nothing else we could do. This was like losing a family member to our whole family. We all drove up to the vet and got to pet her and hold her one last time. The vet said we could be with her when she passed, but I didn't really want to experience that. I just sat in the waiting room and cried.

We also had another dog that we got when I was around 6 or 7. Her and our older dog, Mitsy, were like best friends. The younger dog is Cookie btw. Cookie was everyone's favorite dog. She was the sweetest, most adorable little dog you could imagine. She loved to be picked up and held like a baby. A year or so after Mitsy passed, Cookie started losing her health as well. She had already been developing benign tumors on her stomach and they just got worse as time went on. She was around 11 or 12 when she finally started being noticeably different and yet again, the vet told us we needed to put her down. It had been a year since we lost Mitsy and here we were again, back at the vet losing a little family member. It was horrible. Again, I got to hold Cookie and pet her before it was time for her to go (I was mainly sobbing). My mom stayed with her like she did with Mitsy. The process doesn't take too long, and my mom always said the dogs looked very peaceful when it was all over. Of course, our vets were very nice and comforting since I'm sure they deal with it all the time.

To be completely honest, it's really difficult after losing a pet that's been around basically forever, especially 19 years. You feel like they're still there and you have to realize that they aren't. And they won't be there again. It makes a home feel really empty and quiet when you lose a pet. Just like any kind of sadness, it gets better with time. You'll always have a special place in your heart for your pet, wether they are alive or passed. It's best to remember they aren't suffering anymore and they thank you for letting them break free from the pain. What helped my family was rescuing dogs that really needed homes. It filled the physical void we had and took our minds away from being so sad.

I hope you feel better <3

 

[marzipanmermaid]

Thank you so much, everyone.
Today was just really hard again; I had to take a trip to the vet to pick up Molly's nee renal diet and the woman checking out in front of me was setting up an appointment to put down her cat who's farther along in Molly's boat. I had to resist crying there. Her cat looked so big and healthy and he's even sicker than mine.

I'mma try to reply individually now because these replies are just too personal/sweet/sad to group together.
I feel better though; we'll just take Molly a day at a time. Today was good.

 

[kikiiii]

man, this breaks my heart :c ive had my girl luli w/me since i was very young, in fact, she was my grandpa's dog from argentina. i remember when she got lost for a couple days and i literally could not stop crying for days straight. my other dog, flapjack, got severely injured by a rushing van. (and to make it worse, i saw it happen.) she was so tiny i had no idea she would possibly survive. now, she has a robotic pelvis and loves to run and jump and hit her head on things and is the toughest lil dog i know! i really understand this feeling of uncertainty and hopelessness, since i had to go through it many times with my little mutts :c

i really love what people have posted here to support you, and highly suggest you take their advice in overcoming this. and i know how hard it may seem but just remember that all the time you spent with her made her entire life, even through suffering, worth it. all she knew was the love you gave her, and im sure she's living happily because of it. and if she does get let down, she'll finally be at peace. things repair themselves with time, and soon i know you'll be able to power through. i really wish you the best and it breaks my heart i cant help you as much as i would like, but just remember that your definitely not the only one who had to deal with this sort of thing. i hope you feel better very soon, and wish you all the luck and support in the world <3 feel free to chat w/me whenever hun

 

[Astro Cake]

I'm still not over putting down my childhood cat after 7 years. It definitely didn't help that I wasn't there when she was put down, I didn't get any closure. I think you should be there for your cat when the time comes, even it hurts at the time.

 

[LaBelleFleur]

I am so sorry to hear about Molly. My cat Lucy is 11 years old this year and I worry about her health as she gets up there in age.
She must be very happy and loved to be with you for so long - 19 years is quite old for a cat!
I don't have much advice to offer, having never lost a pet, however, I wanted to share this I read in "Cats for Dummies" ages ago.

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together, never again to be separated.

 

[puppy]

ive lost so many pets to cars its ridiculous

 

[Tokage]

I know how you feel... it's horrible. My cat Ivy was 18 when we had to put her down many years ago, when I was about 10. She wasn't eating well and was starting to lose her fur due to old age. She lost a lot of weight too, it was extremely heartbreaking. It's very hard to lose a pet, especially when they are your best friend. Please do remember all the fun times you shared with her and know that she loves you just as much as you love her- I like to think animals really understand when their owners are trying to do what's best for them when they're very sick. She won't be in any pain and will finally be at rest once she goes, and she will know how much you loved her. If you do have to put her down, I believe you're allowed to be there with them, my mom got to hold our cat as the process took place.

Your kitty has lived a very long life and I bet she wouldn't of wanted to spend it with anyone else except you and your family. She will always have a special place in your heart even after she has passed. I haven't forgotten what Ivy looks like or the sound of her meows either. I'm sure you won't either. I hope you stay strong and that things will be easier for you as time passes. I'll be sending lots good vibes your way!

 

[pippy1994]

Being a vet nurse I deal with sick animals and euthanasia all the time. You can be there when she is being put to sleep if you wish to do so. The process is pretty quick and the most humane method, rather than having an animal suffer right up until its last moment. 19 years is a very long time, my auntie's cat was around that age when she passed away a few weeks ago.

The vet is right though, it is because of old age. One of our clinic cats Bella was very old and became very skinny in her old age. It got to the point where she was no longer eating so we had to put her to sleep.

I've lost many pets before, through illness, old age and euthanasia. It's never easy, no matter what animal it is, they all hold a very special place in my heart. Remembering that they aren't really gone when they pass away, they are still there with you.

Have you considered cremation? I think it's well worth the money. I also like to keep a lock of hair from each of my animals.

Keep monitoring her and ensuring that she is eating, drinking and still passing urine/faeces.

 

[MagsyPies]

Poor Molly Me and my mum had to put down our rough collie puppy 2 years ago, he was about 4 months old. He was really weak and had seizures, didn't eat much and constantly shivered when walking him. Turned out he had a liver shunt and would need surgery. However, one day he seemed to eat more so me and my sister gave him more food. That night he had the worst seizure, he was sweating and drooling, clearly in pain. The place that could treat him was too far away so we had no choice but to take him to the emergency vet and have him put down. He couldn't even stand on the vets table We didn't stay in the room to watch, but we went to see him afterwards. He had never looked so peaceful. It was heartbreaking how short and painful his life was, but we were happy to see him like this, despite not being alive. We even took pictures of him, they were the only pictures we kept. He looked tired in the previous ones, and his eyes were always watering. I was happy for him, he was free <3
My only regret was choosing a communal cremation at the pet crematorium, we wish we had kept his ashes

- - - Post Merge - - -

I wish you the best of luck with Molly, I hope she pulls through <3

- - - Post Merge - - -

Sorry for posting again, I just don't know what to say. At least you've had years with her, she must really love you

 

[*Facade*]

To begin, I just want to say that no matter what you do, whether you feel it's wrong or not, is just you simply trying your very best to keep your beloved Molly here on Earth for as long as she can, while being in the comfort of her loving and caring family. I can't even begin to tell you how much trouble, pain and saddness I have had to go through along with my family, when loosing my very first cat Dusty. This was only 9 months ago but it feels like an eternity has passed since then. I can relate to you fully both emotionally and mentally along with finacially. I just wanted to just say that you should never be too hard on yourself and leave no regrets with what you couldn't do for her, as you are simply doing everything in your ability and power to help her. You are that cat's angel and she will want to be with you as long as possible through her hardship. Seeing you is the comfort she needs now most and she will thank you for that.

My cat was pretty much the same way as Molly. Sadly, becuase of the horrific situation my family is in at this time, that treating animals was definitly not really do-able on our list. We tried everything to keep him living, but it seemed that no matter what we did, it just progressivley would get worse. On top of that, my sister and I were taking care of 5 kittens outside of our house whom we've known through the mother cat we now call "Baby Girl". Sadly, 3 those kittens from the litter, one by one started dying off too, with us also having to deal with the pain of about to lose our cat. The kittens we had no idea were sick until last minute, throwing up foam and being deydrated was indication something was wrong, but by the time we tried to do something, it was too late. They were as close to my sister and I as if they were part of the family. We did take in the mother and the youngest daughter now who we have named "Baby Girl" and "Rosalina" repectivley, so I am glad to say we have accomlished at most helping them. My grandmother has the two brothers as well and they are doing fine too thankfully. The pain of loosing those kittens though, who only knew you as their provider, their loving friend and gaurdian was so painful that when the first one died, I bawled the hardest I ever had. His name was "Tiger" the other two that dies were "Kiki" (Whom we named after Kiki the villager since she was all black) and "Pumpkin" From then on out, it was as if my family carried the biggest curse you can believe, loosing loved ones, suffering through problems that just keep on arriving and so forth.

I loved my Dusty dearly and sadly, to this day, my family will still get nightmares of feeling helpless because of the position we are still currently in. Making him suffer was not what we anted to do. That is something I will never, ever do again if I can somehow prevent it. We couldn't even take him to the vet since they would charge a ridiculous amount of money to just put down an already dying animal, which I personally think is wrong. My cat had died under my lamp desk downstairs in early October, the month of my birthday with his family right near him. I had recieved him from a shelter at just 3 months old. He had lived to only about 15 years. To watch someone you love slowly suffer and die off because you can't do anything is truly haunting and meanicing to the soul.

I knew that he was going to go eventually, but I truly wish he didn't go the way he did. I do however, feel everything happens for a reason as I had been witness to many austonding and spiritual things. I know this is going to sound strange, bizarr and even crazy to some people, but because of a small "gift" I have had at a young age, I do sometimes see him in my house. My father sees him too from time to time. I actually did not cry as in a weird way, I knew he would be ok, and would continue to live on free of pain and suffering. I did however feel immense saddness as I had tried to prepare myself for the day I would loose my very first animal, though it still was inevitable. My sister and I had buried him under our porch. I also have two dogs, and the older one is definitly coming up in his years so this will be tough once again to deal with.

He was so smart, livley, and just one of the greatest pleasures I could ever have for him choosing us as his family. He would comfort me on my sad days, make me laugh when I was feeling down and just always made me happy when I felt anyone else in the world couldn't possibly do so. Pets are both a blessing and a curse. I am so glad to have partook in his life as he had lived a good one. I want to let you know that if you ever need to speak about anyone on how you are feeling I am always here for you .It is true what they say though. It does get better and eventually, you will move on but you will surley never forget. Always remember that you had made her happy and that she chose you for a reason. Everyone will eventually have their time, just remember that what really counts was how happy you had made her in this lifetime, as most animals may never feel the love of another. I wish you luck my friend and remember, she will always be with you no matter how far apart you both are <3

 

[RayOfHope]

...

 

[KaydeeKrunk]

It's really one of the hardest things for me too. Last year we had to put down my 20 year old cat Binkie, he was my best friend ever and it still breaks my heart thinking about it. He was the only person ever there for me through everything, he helped me when I was sick and loved me when I was sad, we even used to take cat naps in the grass together on nice days. He started yowling and getting lost in the house and then started circling in tighter and tighter circles and he stopped eating so we decided it was best. We found him as a kitten when I was like 2/3 years old and he'd been through everything with us, he was a fighter and he will always be in our hearts, and I am glad that he is no longer in pain or anything. I just try to remember all the good times, I plan to get a tattoo of a picture I took of him in a top hat on cause he was my main source of joy through a big part of my life, there were days I wouldn't have made it without him coming up and loving me. He wasn't the first or last animal that I had lost but he was definitely the most significant. It hurts me even more than some humans I have known who passed, which I think is saying something. I loved him so much, and I still let him know it.

 

[MOON TRIPS]

my cat Pearl... got sick and we had to put her to sleep. it hurt so bad. but she wouldn't eat. she just. wouldn't eat. so it was like, either put her to sleep or wake up one day and just find her dead... it wasn't easy to decide to put her to sleep, I can say that much.
so I understand how you feel. it is really hard when your pet is suffering. it hurt to let go of Pearl. we didn't even have her for all that long, only a few years. 3 or so? but she was so attached to me. she was my baby, and I loved her very much.
it's been 2 years now. I miss her every single day. we have no other cats currently, and it's been hard without one.

 

[Gabi<3AnimalCrossing]

Aww reading all this makes me heart~broken
I dont have a pet of mine though I want one
My dad had one
He was Rocket I dont know what age since I wasnt born but he died
His grave is in my aunt's garden
Thought my aunt adopt another pet called Mistsy
She is 6 years old & soo cute

 

[KaydeeKrunk]

Another very hard animal loss was my half naked rat Nukkka. She was a beautiful cuddle baby, and she used to take naps with me after school everyday, she loved cuddles because she had hardly any hair and loved to mooch my warmth. She also loved sitting on the computer with me in my hair, never bit me ever. One day I had gone to check on her and she was laying in an awkward position and was very cold. I picked her up and the end of her tail was like, broken off/chewed off? I am not sure. I held her for the longest time keeping her warm and she made tiny squeaks so I pet her and comforted her until she passed in my arms at like 3 or 4 in the morning on a school night. I wrapped her in a box with little dried flowers around her and buried her in the backyard which my mom fought me over, she told me to throw her away like trash but I buried her anyways. I found out later that my mom had bought me pine shavings for her cage without telling me, and the bag wasn't marked so I didn't know. So she passed from respiratory problems. I have gotten rats since and they have not been as friendly as her, which makes me super sad. The place I got them wouldn't even let me hold them before I bought them so I couldn't see their temperament or anything, so now I have two grouchy un-friendly male rats that fight all the time, because they didn't even have female rats... which is what I wanted. The only reason I kept them was to get them out of the tiny cage that they shared with way too many rat and into a big roomy cage where they can at least live comfortably with each other. And like Binkie I do intend to get a tattoo in Nukkka's honor, I saw a really cute idea where someone got the foot prints and a tail of a rat and I wanted to get it on my shoulder like she was still sitting on my shoulder.