Lend me some advice.

[Vex L'Cour]

I know some of you 'hate' me. But chill it for a moment.

Today I had another arguement come fight with my mum. One of many I've had recently, it's kind of fraying my nerves and really ****ing with my head. Like she keeps making out she's had ''reasons'' to do the things she's done to me in life, or she has magical moments of Amnesia where she doesn't remember certain events and because I can I am wrong and 'mental'.

Like, Examples of such:

Spoiler: example #1: Magical Amnesia

She threw me out at 10, made me stand outside the door for 3 hours while I pleaded to be let in and she simply gave a smug smile, telling me how she wanted me out of her life and how she'd ''Explain'' to my sister about the situation over some hot chocolate. She let me in breifly because our neighbours were coming home and she didn't want them to know. Afterward sge threw me back out and slammed the door in my face, I waited outside 10 minutes crying until I walked off to find my friend (at about 6:30pm) I arrived to his after an hours walk to find he had gone out so I walked to the Karate club I went to (which starts at 8:00, so it was dark), I arrived near the end of it (So about 9:00/9:30pm) and one of the mothers there took me back home."

Now, I confronted my mum on this and she made out it NEVER happened, giving me a confused look and a dirty look, quickly telling me I was lying and making it all up (which did briefly make me think I was wrong). She then asked my dad (who had been out to fit windows that day until late) who didn't know about it, he pretty much said the same thing but laughed (as he does).
It was only when I asked my sister she assured me it did happen and she remembered it clearly.

Example #2

Spoiler: 'I never call you anything malocious...expect in arguements'

I basically had a go at her for calling me a ****** and telling me how I would fail all my exams because I am an idiot only DAYS before I was to pick which levels I would do and weeks before the exams.

She made out she has NEVER done this, never ever called me something mean (which she has, including telling me how I should be locked up in a mental ward because I was just that) and how she only did in arguements in the heat of the moment.
Again, my sister laughed and even pointed out SEVERAL times she has done it to be a *****. Basically one of the main problems I had such low self esteem problems in school.

I REALLY dunno what to do. I can't move out (I lack money and people who'd take me in, I've been taking interviews for jobs but getting none due to my college hours). If I stay here I am worried I might go nuts and even physically hurt her (Which has been growing in me recently, and I am actually a VERY placid guy irl, I haven't been in a fight physically since I was a child).
I am considering going for my last option and moving back to Germany, although it'd ruin my relationship with her entirely.

This arguement started anyway over problems in college (I went from top of the class to being in the bottom due to illness). I know people will say ''Why haven't you REPORTED her? Like gone to social services or something?" well.. I don't want to for my sisters sake. She'd be put in care and I'd feel bad putting her through that. My mum tried to force me to tell her this but I didn't dare.

TL;DR? My mum's trying to make out that she has an excuse for YEARS of abuse on the basis I am 'a troubled child' and that it's perfectly normal to do the **** she has done. Then said I am lying when I tell her I am pissed off for what she's done and she's never done it.

 

[Liv]

Don't bite the hand that feeds you and in this case even if it isn't feeding you to your satisfaction.

 

[Wish]

Are you sure you're not leaving anything out? Like what you did? Why did she throw you out?
Anyways, some parents are really. Meh.
Dunno how long you've been in college, but Air force is always an option.
My sister dropped out of college three times and is in Air Force now.
Graduating in a couple of years.

 

[Zex]

Ignore her at all costs. Thats what i do with my mom (shes a single parent and my older bro moved out years ago) and it works out for me. She gets on your nerves just let it go. Agree with her even if you dont on the inside. But dont let her brainwash you into making you think shes right. I stay in my room a lot and when Im not im either eating or outside. It works for me pretty well.. I know how you feel man my mom does the same thing and it sucks.

 

[Vex L'Cour]

Are you sure you're not leaving anything out? Like what you did? Why did she throw you out?
Anyways, some parents are really. Meh.
Dunno how long you've been in college, but Air force is always an option.
My sister dropped out of college three times and is in Air Force now.
Graduating in a couple of years.

Idfk remember. I was like... <10. I think it was something REAL stupid as per.

 

[Vex L'Cour]

Ignore her at all costs. Thats what i do with my mom (shes a single parent and my older bro moved out years ago) and it works out for me. She gets on your nerves just let it go. Agree with her even if you dont on the inside. But dont let her brainwash you into making you think shes right. I stay in my room a lot and when Im not im either eating or outside. It works for me pretty well.. I know how you feel man my mom does the same thing and it sucks.

I do that now. It just makes her think she has a 1up on me.

 

[Thunder]

Idfk remember. I was like... <10. I think it was something REAL stupid as per.

You don't know?

...Soo.... How do you know that you didn't do something equally as bad to deserve whatever she's done to you? :Y

 

[bud]

I feel very sorry for you. It must be hard in school going against that. If I were you, you might want to notify the principal about this. They do have the ability to get an investigation done on this.
But first, you might want to get some video proof or maybe a recording to help your case. The more solid evidence the better. You might be able to strike a chord if you show it to your Mom when she is in a more reasonable state of mind.
Your Mom really sounds like a really bizarre character. Specifically someone who has a multi-personality disorder.

 

[Vex L'Cour]

You don't know?

...Soo.... How do you know that you didn't do something equally as bad to deserve whatever she's done to you? :Y

Errr. Dude. The worst thing I had done at that point was get a detention. Not a throw-out able offense Imo.

I feel very sorry for you. It must be hard in school going against that. If I were you, you might want to notify the principal about this. They do have the ability to get an investigation done on this.
But first, you might want to get some video proof or maybe a recording to help your case. The more solid evidence the better. You might be able to strike a chord if you show it to your Mom when she is in a more reasonable state of mind.
Your Mom really sounds like a really bizarre character. Specifically someone who has a multi-personality disorder.

I would. But she's ****ing egosistical. If I showed her she'd make up something that made it sound normal. She's ****ing good with words. I just can't wait to get out the house. Already decided to change my name and cut ties with her.

 

[Cloro]

Why do you put hate in quotes? People really do HATE you.

 

[Bacon Boy]

I thought we weren't supposed to give sympathy to people on the internet... Just sayin'.
Otherwise, I'd do what people are telling you to do. Can you drive/get out on your own? If so, I'd do that. Best way to avoid her is to not be around her a lot.

 

[D1llon]

get the **** out of there, keep applying for jobs around campus. Otherwise when she is going on one of her rants you can come back just as back, who knows you might end up having "amnesia" too. But really if she is locking you out and telling you that you're a failure then denying it, she is obviously embarrassed and would hate for others to know. So if you come back at her in an outburst what will she do? Go to your dad (who seems to either deny it or be oblivious, I'm unsure) or tell the neighbors? And saying what? That she was locking you out and abusing you.

edit--
She is a grown woman and a mother of at least 2 children, from what you said. If she can't understand that what you did was when you were a mindless brat (hehe sorry) from now being a diplomatic adult then like I said before, gtfo bro...

 

[Vex L'Cour]

Why do you put hate in quotes? People really do HATE you.

I love you to Cloro.
OH, I booked that candlelit supper we discussed. Antonio's at 8, saturday ok?

I thought we weren't supposed to give sympathy to people on the internet... Just sayin'.
Otherwise, I'd do what people are telling you to do. Can you drive/get out on your own? If so, I'd do that. Best way to avoid her is to not be around her a lot.

Mreeeeeeehhhhhhh...Good point there Bacon.
and I wish I could, again she pushed the fact my grandparents wanted to buy me driving lessons. I didn't know and throught I had to buy them

 

[Vex L'Cour]

get the **** out of there, keep applying for jobs around campus. Otherwise when she is going on one of her rants you can come back just as back, who knows you might end up having "amnesia" too. But really if she is locking you out and telling you that you're a failure then denying it, she is obviously embarrassed and would hate for others to know. So if you come back at her in an outburst what will she do? Go to your dad (who seems to either deny it or be oblivious, I'm unsure) or tell the neighbors? And saying what? That she was locking you out and abusing you.

My dad wasn't there at the time. And given he is often out due to him working or trying to get work (Plus he often goes out for walks) he can miss stuff ALOT.

 

[Serk102]

Get some student loans, then get yoself an apartment fewl.

 

[Jas0n]

Parental neglect, explains the bad attitude.

 

[FallChild]

I hate to be nosey, but how old is your sister? And maybe you should get out of the house. I know that sounds redundant, but I really don't know what else to say. Anyways, you have my best wishes.

 

[Sporge27]

um you say you are in college right? you still live at home?

Honestly if it is that bad you should be able to get enough loans to live in an apartment I would hope, specially if you split it with others. That would be my solution I suppose... I really don't know what else you can do besides talking with someone more experienced like a counselor.

Until you can do something though, you don't have to stir up the muck at the bottom of the lake. Should you forget things that happened, no, but you don't have to confront her about them while you are still dependent you know.

 

[Vex L'Cour]

I hate to be nosey, but how old is your sister? And maybe you should get out of the house. I know that sounds redundant, but I really don't know what else to say. Anyways, you have my best wishes.

She's 13 I am 18. Thanks though, I am considering moving country to 'escape'

um you say you are in college right? you still live at home?

Honestly if it is that bad you should be able to get enough loans to live in an apartment I would hope, specially if you split it with others. That would be my solution I suppose... I really don't know what else you can do besides talking with someone more experienced like a counselor.

Until you can do something though, you don't have to stir up the muck at the bottom of the lake. Should you forget things that happened, no, but you don't have to confront her about them while you are still dependent you know.

In England we don't really have college dorms like America. Only in Uni (from what I know).
I don't really want a student loan. The idea of being in debt is repugnent, but beggers can't be choosers I guess.
And I have nearly done the apartment thing. A ton of friends were gunna move down here while I was dating one of them, but I doubt it'll happen since I split up with her.

 

[Josh]

Peak for you BMT. I think you should try give your mom like attitude and if she abuses you block yourself. Make her know that you're not weak and that she can't treat you like your just a sock laying on the floor covered in chocolate (Maltesers, Not Kit Kat, wouldn't make sense). Anyway, Don't move out since you'll probably regret it. Or another choice is speak to her from your heart, look her in the eyes and make sure she feels your pain.

Also, I think you should see a psychologist I guess, People online may not be able to give you good advice, But it could make you feel better and make people feel your pain.

Sorry and hope I helped, Just go eat food and drink juice and you'll feel better.