i'm a little nervous~

[mouthrat]

so i have a placement test coming up that determines whether or not i'm getting into a really good school for 2022-23 forward. i'm talking, one of the best schools in my state that could land me into some really good places in the future, etc etc. however, i don't even really want to get into this school because it would mean leaving behind my significant other at the school i would go to if i didn't get in. fortunately, the schools are close by, however our ability to hang out outside of school hours is extremely limited. but i also want to get into the school because i want a good education and i want my parents to be proud of me. on top of all that, i'm also worried about how i'm going to score on the test since i barely even studied. please help-

 

[daringred_]

if it were me, i would prioritize the school. you've been given a good opportunity here -- you say it's one of the best and could give you a good/better future -- and it would be a shame to waste it. if your s/o really loves you, they'll understand and support your choice. i personally am in a long distance relationship, so i know what it's like to be away from your s/o for extended periods of time, and i promise it is something that gets easier after a little while. (or it did for me at least.) you'll miss them a lot initially, but there are still other ways for you to stay in touch, like texting or doing some sort of face-time call. since you probably don't know your exact schedules yet, you might have more opportunities to get together in person during school season than you think, but there are also weekends and holidays to look forward to.

as for the test, i understand being nervous for that. exams have never been my forte because i have a terrible memory, so they would always make me a little anxious. my best piece of advice would be to start studying as much as you have the energy and time for now, since that's what seems to be adding to your nerves. if you're unprepared, it won't help calm you down. it's slightly easier going in knowing you've done your research and tried your best. try and find a studying method that works for you, too, whether that's rewriting/typing out passages from textbooks, making information into songs, note-cards, straight-up memorization or watching videos etc.

tl;dr: personally, in this case, i wouldn't prioritize a relationship because a long-distance one is not the end of the world and you will still have opportunities to get together in person. if you can, start studying as much as you are able to as of now. it's better to be overprepared than underprepared.

 

[Chris]

You're at the age where it's important to put your own needs first in order to give yourself the best possible future. If your relationship can't survive you attending different schools then it isn't meant to be. Another obstacle would have only come along later. Consider how you would feel if you didn't properly try to get into this school and then your relationship was to end within a few months time. Wouldn't you feel that you had blown an enormous opportunity for nothing?

 

[Megaroni]

I personally feel like you have to weigh your happiness and a secure future for this. Will going to this amazing school be too much for you? Will you burn out easily? Obviously that's not something you can know until you're there, but if you know you're gonna burn out and have to quit then it might not be worth the time and money. I say this cause I've gotten myself in so many situations where I thought I could follow through and work hard, until realizing that I was just telling myself that to make other people proud. I would personally think about how unhappy you're willing to be to go to this school. What's the base level of happiness and comfort you need in order to thrive? If you can't get that at this school then it might not be a good option for you. The whole happiness thing goes double if you're mentally ill or disabled. That can throw a huge wrench in trying to succeed at school.

I also wanna mention that it's worth looking at other options that might be just as good for your career path. I say this cause I decided I wanted to go to this fancy school and get a great education, but recently realized that in my desired field, work experience would help me much more in getting a great job. Now I'm on the path to making some major life changes (that most of my family don't approve of) in order to get my base happiness levels back up to a good spot. This would mean sacrificing my fancy school, but that's ok because I can still go to a pretty good school where I'm going and I'll be so much happier, and I (hopefully) won't be struggling to make ends meet or anything.

Everyone so far has said to focus on your education and not on a partner, and I completely agree that your future is so much more important than more frivolous things, but don't do it all to make people proud and don't do it if you think it'll bring you some sort of major depression or stress. I have a more non traditional circumstance, but it could be one that you relate to. If you think it might be too much then stay with your partner and be happy. At the end of the day prioritize your health and happiness wherever you can.