Ghosting on a trade?

[Krissi2197]

Anyways, I personally wouldn't give ghosters negative feedback. Maybe neutral depending on the situation, like if they were rude or something. Who knows what people have going on in their lives and honestly leaving bad feedback might be way more trouble than it's worth if they try to retaliate. I feel like negative feedback is for terrible people who scam or steal from others.

It sucks but it's best to just accept the loss and move on. Just my opinion.

Obviously if they just disappear from the site entirely that's a different story, but if I see them actively continuing to trade and do sales/buy stuff when ignoring my messages I feel like some sort of feedback is warranted?

Especially if people spend hours trying to cycle out a specific villager for someone, and then the buyer of the villager just vanishes.

Idk. I just feel like leaving someone negative feedback for wasting people's time is not something that should be looked down upon; anything going on in their lives doesn't prevent them from being like "hey sorry but I don't wanna do this trade anymore". Who knows how many people the ghoster's done it to?

 

[coffee biscuit]

Obviously if they just disappear from the site entirely that's a different story, but if I see them actively continuing to trade and do sales/buy stuff when ignoring my messages I feel like some sort of feedback is warranted?

Especially if people spend hours trying to cycle out a specific villager for someone, and then the buyer of the villager just vanishes.

Idk. I just feel like leaving someone negative feedback for wasting people's time is not something that should be looked down upon; anything going on in their lives doesn't prevent them from being like "hey sorry but I don't wanna do this trade anymore". Who knows how many people the ghoster's done it to?

I never said I looked down on it? People can leave negative feedback if that's what they think is fair, that's what the rating system is for. I also said it depends on the situation. It could potentially cause more problems than it's worth and some digital items just aren't worth the stress, at least for me. I have social anxiety and I don't wanna deal with someone retaliating with negative feedback and having to bug the mods to try and help me. Stuff like that stresses me out a lot. I'm just saying that's what I would personally do. I'm not trying to speak for everyone, just myself.

 

[Mairen]

I personally think leaving negative feedback for ghosters is fair. I believe there's multiple steps to a trade, and once you start communicating with each other and getting the details worked out for when/where/how much, you are already in the midst of a trade. the actual trading is just the final step.

ghosting just seems beyond rude. it's one thing to have to cancel on a trade and sending a quick apology to the person who's already worked to organize things for you. but to just disappear without a word? not acceptable to me =( people need to realize we're real people on the other side the screen here. we're not just bots that you can close a window and make us disappear. we're still going to be here. it's called manners. something a lot of people sadly don't care to have these days.

 

[ElliotAdoresYou]

this happened with some flowers I was giving away and now I just have a bunch of excess flowers I didn’t need- sigh

 

[Luxen]

Reminds me of a couple of times when I was looking for a few items in my thread. There were some people who would post they had an item I was willing to purchase and I'd make them an offer, hoping to hear back whether they'd accept or decline/let me know that they were looking for more. They never got back to me at all, but thankfully some other kindhearted members eventually made their way there and offered those items to me instead.

Same goes for a thread or two where the OP stated that they were looking for/accepting offers in Bells or NMT with absolutely no mention of trades (or even those taking priority anywhere) whatsoever at the time I posted. A lot of other people besides me had also posted in their thread asking if they still had some items available and the OP went ahead with people who were offering items instead. They never responded to anyone directly in the thread, not even the people who were genuinely interested in purchasing them. I wasted quite a few hours and missed out on some other sales just blindly hoping that they would reply as I saw them active on the forum elsewhere (or messaging the item traders via PM). In the end, the person went offline at some point and didn't update the OP until the next afternoon. All the items I was interested (as well as the other buyers) were long gone by then. I quickly unwatched the thread and was still puzzled as to how this person even has such a high/perfect feedback with that kind of attitude.

this happened with some flowers I was giving away and now I just have a bunch of excess flowers I didn’t need- sigh

I wouldn't mind helping you clear some space with those excess flowers, if you're still holding onto them. It's a real shame when people ghost you and you're left with unwanted extras of anything.

 

[ElliotAdoresYou]

Reminds me of a couple of times when I was looking for a few items in my thread. There were some people who would post they had an item I was willing to purchase and I'd make them an offer, hoping to hear back whether they'd accept or decline/let me know that they were looking for more. They never got back to me at all, but thankfully some other kindhearted members eventually made their way there and offered those items to me instead.

Same goes for a thread or two where the OP stated that they were looking for/accepting offers in Bells or NMT with absolutely no mention of trades (or even those taking priority anywhere) whatsoever at the time I posted. A lot of other people besides me had also posted in their thread asking if they still had some items available and the OP went ahead with people who were offering items instead. They never responded to anyone directly in the thread, not even the people who were genuinely interested in purchasing them. I wasted quite a few hours and missed out on some other sales just blindly hoping that they would reply as I saw them active on the forum elsewhere (or messaging the item traders via PM). In the end, the person went offline at some point and didn't update the OP until the next afternoon. All the items I was interested (as well as the other buyers) were long gone by then. I quickly unwatched the thread and was still puzzled as to how this person even has such a high/perfect feedback with that kind of attitude.


I wouldn't mind helping you clear some space with those excess flowers, if you're still holding onto them. It's a real shame when people ghost you and you're left with unwanted extras of anything.

I appreciate the offer!! But there is..many...many roses.. I’ll probably end up selling them to nooks

 

[Luxen]

I appreciate the offer!! But there is..many...many roses.. I’ll probably end up selling them to nooks

Ah, so it's that kind of many. That's even worse than the amount I had imagined they ghosted you for...
If that's the case, then I understand why you'd rather sell them as multiple repeated trips with full pockets usually aren't worth the hassle (or broken shovels in this case).

 

[senbeiiscool]

This happened to me two separate times in the past 3 days. I ordered two expensive items from my catalog as a courtesy to both of these people and when contacted about setting up a time to pick up their items, they don't answer.

It's worse when I see them actively trading in other threads. So I KNOW you saw my message, you're just avoiding me on purpose.

Is it fair to give someone negative feedback for doing this? Cause honestly if it isn't against the rules I feel like putting negative feedback for those who ghost out on trades when you've already spent time and bells getting an item for them is fair. But if it is against the rules I guess I won't do that.

I just keep note of who does this to me and then refuse trades with them in the future. Nothing much else I can do!

I've asked a mod before, and it seems like you can give negative feedback. However, I would contact them about your situation first and see what they have to say about it!

I'm so sorry this happened to you! Anything that's super expensive, or a large order total always makes me wary of trades and I'm so sad that it's had to be like this. Being ignored really sucks and is super rude so I feel for you there as well!

 

[Corrie]

I'm assuming if negative feedback is allowed that people would start taking it more seriously and ghosting wouldn't happen as much. Sometimes people just need a good kick in the butt.

 

[senbeiiscool]

I appreciate the offer!! But there is..many...many roses.. I’ll probably end up selling them to nooks

I had a huge flower problem, but if you ever need resources, trading your flowers for resources is a really great way to get rid of them! I know some people make bells off of their flowers too, but if you don't need the bells, you'll always need stuff to craft! Ask them to tip a shovel too! (I easily broke 10 shovels dealing with flowers ahaha)

 

[eminyan]

ghosting is wack in general but its a bit more understandable during these times bc quarantine + home problems + connection problems

but i totally get the frustration if its an auction or villager trade or something- u should only really trade/ offer things in an auction if you KNOW you will be up and have time for it-
of course, things still happen and with a valid excuse it's fine but otherwise it's a bit troubling because will you get the item or not and etc

 

[senbeiiscool]

I'm assuming if negative feedback is allowed that people would start taking it more seriously and ghosting wouldn't happen as much. Sometimes people just need a good kick in the butt.

I really hope so! It's frustrating when you see people who have burned you with perfect feedback when your experience with them has been less than stellar. I honestly think that an update in the rules regarding negative feedback could be helpful for a lot of us traders on the forum so there's less speculation and confusion!

 

[moonshi]

Not too long ago a seller accepted my offer in their thread but never went through with delivering the diys even though they said they will. I contacted the seller the day after and what's funny was that I got an answer pretty fast as to what I was waiting for and yet when I told them the diys, they seemed to have fallen off the face of the earth again. lol That is as far as I will go in keeping my part of the deal. If you changed your mind, have the courtesy to let me know. Instead they chose to ignore.

I actually had a laugh because it was pretty funny with the quick reply and then total silence.

 

[senbeiiscool]

Not too long ago a seller accepted my offer in their thread but never went through with delivering the diys even though they said they will. I contacted the seller the day after and what's funny was that I got an answer pretty fast as to what I was waiting for and yet when I told them the diys, they seemed to have fallen off the face of the earth again. lol That is as far as I will go in keeping my part of the deal. If you changed your mind, have the courtesy to let me know. Instead they chose to ignore.

I actually had a laugh because it was pretty funny with the quick reply and then total silence.

Wow that's so interesting! They're all game if you've got something that their interested and then silent when not huh... I guess people like this really do exist hmmm

 

[kacchan]

This happened to me a lot of times! i actively trade villagers in order to rack nmt to look or buy Raymond; sometimes i would invite villagers that i have no plan on keeping because someone said they would take the villager but after a few hours/days they would stop replying and im left with a villager in boxes that i spent a whole day cycling that i now have to let go for really cheap price just so that they wouldn't go into the void. It's really frustrating! Please don't do this. The least thing you can do when trying to back away from a trade is to help the seller find a new buyer.

 

[LinDUNguin]

Happened to me yesterday actually, but in their defense I was way too drunk to be trading last night. Re-reading the messages it's obnoxiously obvious, to the point that I can say confidently I would have ghosted a trader who responded to me in such a way. Nothing inappropriate, just obnoxious, but still.

 

[senbeiiscool]

This happened to me a lot of times! i actively trade villagers in order to rack nmt to look or buy Raymond; sometimes i would invite villagers that i have no plan on keeping because someone said they would take the villager but after a few hours/days they would stop replying and im left with a villager in boxes that i spent a whole day cycling that i now have to let go for really cheap price just so that they wouldn't go into the void. It's really frustrating! Please don't do this. The least thing you can do when trying to back away from a trade is to help the seller find a new buyer.

There's a bunch of cycling threads here and I'm sure that any person holding on to villagers that people are looking for, lurking for or even bidding for, is super stressful! I'm so sorry that happens to you so often! Which actually surprises me since I would have thought that any villager you're cycling out for them would be one that they really like? How strange...

I'm sure anyone who has gotten a villager from you though is very happy! TT out villagers is hard work! You're doing great!

 

[Lumbridge]

Happened to me yesterday actually, but in their defense I was way too drunk to be trading last night. Re-reading the messages it's obnoxiously obvious, to the point that I can say confidently I would have ghosted a trader who responded to me in such a way. Nothing inappropriate, just obnoxious, but still.

drunk trading sounds like an... interesting experience lol

 

[LinDUNguin]

drunk trading sounds like an... interesting experience lol

it's not, there are much more fun/interesting things you can do while drunk. 3/10, wouldn't recommend.

 

[Khaelis]

Yeah, I've definitely been ghosted a couple times so far. A bit frustrating, but I just chalk it up to either they had to do something and forgot or they found a better offer and just ignored me.