Dating advice?

[Rainbow minerals]

Not sure if this is the best place for this but here I go.
Ok so there's this friend of mine who I share nearly everything in common it's gotten to the point where it's like something out of the twilight zone,anyways I've kinda developed a crush on her and don't know how to approach her about it. And the thing is ik were already super close because me make each other laugh,like I mentioned before we share a lot in common and in general I feel like I can do anything with her and be comfortable knowing that she's be ok with it. She seems like the girl I've always wanted (cheesy ik just bare with me here) but how do I ask her to be my gf let alone go out the two of us alone? ( I can honestly say I've never dated anyone mainly due to shyness or by being oblivious)

 

[Soda Fox]

Speaking from my own personal experience, from the female perspective, I think it's good to be forward with your feelings, and not get upset if she doesn't feel the same way back right now. Tell her how you feel in a very straightforward way, that you'd like to go on a date sometime. If she says she doesn't really like you that way, try to get right back into the swing of what you've got going on right now. Have fun with her, even if it's not in a dating sort of sense. I've rejected a few guys before without really knowing it (they never told me they liked me), and then they made our friendship weird by not talking to me or getting upset over the rejection I didn't even realize I was in the process of making. One guy followed me around the grocery store for chrissake (I didn't invite him, he either saw or followed me there), and I got annoyed asked him to leave me alone because I just wanted to get my things and go home and he got mad and told me he liked me right then and there. It was weird because he was throwing a tantrum and making a scene, and then he wouldn't talk to me at school after that.

So, yeah my advice is to be straight forward, and if she rejects you then she rejects you. It doesn't mean you can't have the fun relationship you have now. I'm still friends with a freshman who confessed to me, and I actually respected him more for coming forward with his feelings and handling my lack of them so well.

 

[Rainbow minerals]

That's quite a helpful point of view! I myself am too shy and respectful for this kind of stuff it's embarrassing but tbh the reason I haven't dated ever is because of myself entirely,I've had opportunities in the past but I messed up by being oblivious etc but honestly now that I'm finally an adult (20) I need to grow up and face my anxiety so if being straightforward is the way to go then so be it! I just hope that if I get rejected I can still be friends with her like we are now. ^_^

 

[Soda Fox]

That's quite a helpful point of view! I myself am too shy and respectful for this kind of stuff it's embarrassing but tbh the reason I haven't dated ever is because of myself entirely,I've had opportunities in the past but I messed up by being oblivious etc but honestly now that I'm finally an adult (20) I need to grow up and face my anxiety so if being straightforward is the way to go then so be it! I just hope that if I get rejected I can still be friends with her like we are now. ^_^

I say if you're not feeling like you can say it in a confident manner, perhaps hold off for now, enjoy what you've got going on. If you try to force it, you might stumble it out, and make things uncomfortable. Of course, depending on how you both handle that little bump, you might weather through better than ever. With the freshman it was a little uncomfortable for about a week, but after he showed that we could still just be friends and hang out and play games like we usually did, it got better. Heck, I even think he's pretty awesome now and if I weren't married I would give him a shot and think we might actually work out pretty well. Even if it goes a little sour, try to stay positive, and things should work out. Even if they don't, if you keep a positive outlook, you'll find some good somewhere else.

 

[Dae Min]

I'll be lurking this thread because I need help too.

I really like someone and confessed to him.. Even after being rejected, we're still good friends and have a lot of fun together. Sometimes I feel like it'll never happen, but other times I'm so incredibly happy just talking to him that all those negative thoughts fly out the window. Not sure what to do ;u;

 

[zeoli]

I have to agree with Soda Fox.
Also,if she says no, then it's no.
Don't try to push her into being in a relationship with you after she says no. I had a guy in the past follow me around school (after I said no) nonstop to the point that I'd sometimes have to hide in the ladies room during free periods. And if he caught me, he'd go about how I need to change my mind and go out with him. Every time I told him no and to quit it, he'd keep telling me that I'll change my mind and see the light? Like...what lol?
I doubt you're a person like that, however, I still want to put that out there for anyone.

Also, I hope you two are able to stay friends if it happens that she rejects you. I stopped being friends with the above guy for obvious reasons but any other time I rejected someone, they refused to be friends with me. Believe me, I've been rejected a ton of times but I never wanted to stop being friends with that person. Yeah, the heartache hurts but in the end, if you really do care about them, then you should be happy with being their friend.

 

[WonderK]

Number one tip from me: Be yourself. This goes a long way. And if the relationship doesn't work out, it just wasn't meant to be.

 

[Saylor]

Oooh, I've been there. I agree with Soda Fox in that it's probably best to be straightforward about your feelings with her. I've had a friend tell me that she liked me before and I'm honestly really glad she told me. Since we were pretty good friends, like it sounds like you and your friend are, it didn't make anything awkward between us and I thought it was very brave of her to tell me. I didn't share the same feelings for her when she told me, but over time I did kind of start to develop a crush on her, and I felt much more comfortable telling her that after she'd already told me that she liked me. So even she rejects you, you at least know that you took a chance and tried, and if your case is anything like mine, then rejection doesn't necessarily mean that she'll never feel the same way either.

Also, it's totally normal to be nervous before going out with someone for the first time, but I think it can be a lot easier than it may seem once it happens. If you and your friend are really comfortable around each other, then I'm sure everything would go pretty well between you guys if you were alone!

Good luck to you (and mysonicplush)!

 

[Rainbow minerals]

Thx for the current responses guys they have been helping me a lot,now idk if this weird to ask but for those of you who have made the first move how did you more or less word it out?

 

[WonderK]

Thx for the current responses guys they have been helping me a lot,now idk if this weird to ask but for those of you who have made the first move how did you more or less word it out?

Ask her to a movie. Ask her to go watch you play >sport here<. Ask her if she'd like to study with you. Basically, anything that'll let you two see each other more. The "first move" should never be something huge. Baby steps.

 

[Soda Fox]

Thx for the current responses guys they have been helping me a lot,now idk if this weird to ask but for those of you who have made the first move how did you more or less word it out?

I made the first move with my first boyfriend and I asked my husband to marry me. With my first boyfriend I literally just said, after a double date, blind date for me, "so we're dating now?" and he said sure and I gave him a kiss. With my now husband I returned home from work with a ring and said "so want to be married?" and he said yes.

 

[jasa11]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nuHfVn_cfHU

This

 

[Jake]

how do I ask her to be my gf

"i like u nd i want u to be my gf"

 

[jasa11]

jake sht up u dnt know anything111!

- - - Post Merge - - -

says the one with two online dating profiles!!!1!!1!1!1!

ACTUALLY THERES MORE DONT BE A H8ER SEE U L8ER!1111!!

 

[Jake]

jake sht up u dnt know anything111!

says the one with two online dating profiles!!!1!!1!1!1!

 

[Snickersnee]

Number one tip from me: Be yourself. This goes a long way. And if the relationship doesn't work out, it just wasn't meant to be.

This. I don't think it's ever worth it to try to change yourself or to try to appear as someone different than yourself just for the sake of someone else's affection. If they don't care for you as you are, they're definitely not worth it.

Anyway, here's my story & advice. I've been dating my best friend for a good year now. Before we got together we were classmates and great friends for ~3 years. I tend to be very shy when it comes to these things, so it was easier for me to build up courage by dropping little hints. After a good while of this (a couple of months or so) I felt brave enough to straight up tell him how I felt. So, even if it is best to just be very straightforward about your feelings, you may not be able to do so right away. I recommend my method if this is the case. Just keep it sweet & subtle