College...yay or nay?

[your local goomy]

My parents really wouldn't take well to that. As far as I know, I don't really feel like my own person. Right now, it's less of my parents being an issue and more the tolls of a long-distance relationship and the fact that my poor mental health is causing a rift in between myself and my only real friend here at school. I dropped chem, I'm changing my major again on Monday, but I deal with a lot of loneliness. No friends atm, no roommate, and being in a long-distance relationship with a lack of communication hurts sometimes, especially when I see other happy couples walking around, holding hands and all that. It's hard trying to be truly happy when you miss someone so much. I'm getting through, but it's diffiult, is all. I'm praying next semester will get better.

 

[ahbramey]

School is hard and not for everyone, and it doesn't mean that you're not smart or capable! There's a lot of pressure in general for people to go to college and work towards specific careers, but the reality is that's not how it works out for most people. Like a lot of others have said, it seems like your relationship with your parents / lack of a support system and mental health are the main things impacting your ability to do well in school. I'm glad to hear you're in therapy. As someone who has a much better relationship with my parents when I don't live with them, I understand the idea of moving back in with them for any amount of time is probably hard to think about and not something you want to do. But maybe with the help of your counseling program, you can make a plan to help you be able to manage moving back home and take a break from school. Or maybe you could find a temporary job that pays enough that if you lived with roommates it's a livable wage? That way you wouldn't need to stay with your parents. It sounds like you need some time to regroup and reconsider the direction you want to take your life in (which is a pretty major thing to think about and much easier said than done). It might be that you need to take a lower credit load, or you need to switch programs/schools, or you need to not go back to school at least for right now. College is expensive and a lot of work, so I don't think you should do it if you don't know for sure how a college degree is going to be useful to you.

Edit: just saw your most recent post. I'm sorry your friendships and relationship are not in a good place right now. Is there a club or a group on campus or in your community that you could join where you could meet some people? Even if no close friends come immediately out of that, at least you would have some social time and be able to meet new people. With COVID, I think a lot of people are feeling extra lonely and finding it harder to make connections, so I'm sure you aren't alone.

 

[Memegaygay]

I feel like college is important for a good job and many other things but as of now it’s not for me school is very tiring even now and I feel like I just can’t do more years of school I’ll probably change my mind when it comes to that decision but for now it’s a big no for me

 

[tumut]

Take a semester off. It sounds like you need it. This semester should be almost over with roughly a month left.

STEM is tough, but explain to your professors your situation and most should be understanding. Give them an abridged version if you have to, and see if you can get any extensions on assignments. Stick it out and finish the best you can. Don't be afraid to ask classmates for help, most classmayes are very nice and willing to help and the voice in your head telling you they'll say no is 100 percent wrong. Ask someone you think is approachable and im sure they'll help you and its also an opening for conversation and making new friends. If you're trying to build your social circle compliments and asking people questions about them are the best ways start.

As far as depression, I reccomend volunteering in your semester off. You could make a lot of friends if you volunteered at an animal shelter, plus volunteering is always great on a resume later in life. You'll be with like minded people and can do what you're passionate about. Volunteering helped me out of my depression, you to be social and have relationships to be happy and I had that through volunteering. Plus doing something good builds confidence.

Graduating late is still graduating btw, i reccomend taking the minimum ammount of classes each semester to be a full time student. Thats what im doing, graduating a semester late with much less stress on my shoulders too.