I was really picky too. For me though, i dont care so much about the non-permanent things - i have the yellow station which i dont particularly like, but I'm planning on revamping it into the fairytale version when i have it, so it doesn't matter to me. I don't care about the villagers i start with as they will move out if i let them. I dont care about native fruit particularly as i can still grow orchards of each type.
but yeah, with the permanent things in very picky. I think the requirements in my current town were - 's' shaped river (or backwards), town hall near plaza, south-facing waterfall, vertical ramp to dock, retail near main street, one side of the river completely empty so i could make it more natural looking, two separate beaches each with access by ramp.. The list goes on. But yeah,you're definitely not the only picky one!
ACNL was my first AC and, not knowing much about how much my decision would impact my game, picked the first one given to me. I haven't reset my town at all and am happy with the map chosen, so I guess I'm not too picky?
I just reset for layout, I wanted a town with a south facing lower waterfall and the other waterfall to be near the beach cliff, so I could have a house that was by the sea and has a waterfall behind it. I guess I got kinda lucky with the other stuff because I got the fruit I wanted (peaches) and the brown train station, I don't really like the other stations colours or the remodelled ones so I'm pretty happy with that. I got the green town hall, which I can live with, I would prefer the purple-ish one though.
I actually just remembered when I first got the game I had another town for about three days that I reset because it didn't feel quite "right". It had all the criteria I listed above, but once I actually had the town there were some things that bothered me about it that I couldn't have anticipated, I found out having the town tree at the side near a cliff, or by the train tracks bugged me and I ended up not liking the shape of my river. I decided if I was going to reset it's best to do it when the town is only a few days old and bit the bullet. I ended up getting a layout I was much happier with after only 2 resets, which is my current town. Though having said that, if I was to ever reset now, I'd probably go for something slightly different. I think it's kinda hard to know exactly what you want for your town without playing for a good while first, but of course by then, resetting is a pain in the butt.