am I weird, for not being interesting in being a relationship

[dr_shrunk]

I never once been really interested in being in one, there are times that I do
but then it just goes back to me not being interested, my parents are always telling
me "it's because you never been in one, or never went on a date yet" so you can't know if
you like it or not, and that is true I'm not sure what it's like, but the thought of being in one
scares me and just don't feel like I have the mental capabilities for one, I don't know what I would
do if I found someone I really cared about and loved with all my heart, and they end up telling me theyno longer love me I can't handle being left, I break down even when a close friend decides they don't want me anymore.

also dates, I'm not even sure how I would handle that, I feel like I'd just be awkward as hell
because I don't want them to think badly of me if I make a mistake, and what if they want to
kiss, I'm not sure if I could do that and I'm afraid if I decline they'll be mad at me and not want to see me again.

also I would call this personal I'm open about it, but I'm also scared
that what if, I'm in a relationship and they want to do it, I am honestly terrified
of the thought of having sex I don't know why nothing bad has happened to me
but for some reason it scares me, and I really don't want to make them mad at me if
I reject the idea, and if I tell them why I'm scared they'll think I'm making excuses and I don't love
them enough.



I'm someone who is all for love and it makes me happy when I see people who legit are in a really good relationship and I am proud of them, even if they go through hardships down the way I'm happy that they have found someone who really cares about them, don't even get me started on older couples who have been together for years I just find it so sweet. and I'm also willing to help my friends when they want to confess their feelings to someone but have a hard time doin' so. but me falling in love or just be in a relationship just doesn't feel right to me


does anywho else have this kind of problem, or do I just need lots of counselling to break me out of this?

 

[oath2order]

why is everything centered?

 

[dr_shrunk]

sorry I made it not, it's a habit of mine...

sorry.

 

[Jake]

no, relationships are boring and overrated

#slut4life

 

[Shirohibiki]

well, from what i can grasp, you seem more scared than anything else. it doesnt seem like youre aromantic; you might be asexual, but you seem to like the idea of romance. you just have severe fear of abandonment, it seems, which i do, as well.

youre going to need someone whos willing to take it very slow with you, and you might have to work on controlling the flight response in reaction to something they might do.

but honestly, if a relationship is too much stress for you, dont be in one. i cant entirely tell if you want one or not -- it seems like right now, youre not ready. and thats perfectly okay. maybe youll never be ready. thats okay too. do you feel you need to break yourself from the fear? if so, you may want to seek counseling. but, give yourself some credit, know you arent alone, and that people are always here to help. not everyone likes or wants a relationship. not everyone can handle them. its just a matter of who you are, and whether or not you ever find the right person (granted you want them), i suppose.

kissies for sadbby <3 -snug-

 

[monochrom3]

You and me both. I'm never interested in a relationship too(and probably will never be), but I also think I'm still too young for a relationship.
I don't mind people being on relationships though, but I think a relationship will strain my 'freedom', and it's also risky.

 

[Twisted Circuits]

What you're going through is normal. Nothing any of us say is going to take the anxiousness away or instantly make you feel better. What I will tell you is that you'll know when the time is right. While you'll still be scared, you'll also "want" to.

God I feel old...

 

[dizzy bone]

I feeeel you.

Dating makes me super anxious too but mostly because I haven't been dating in a while and I kind of forgot how lol. I used to really want to be in a relationship mainly because I was sick of just fooling around... but now I just don't care. I'm too busy with school and work that I feel like I wouldn't be able to commit to a relationship either. Plus I have no money right now... which is pretty sad when you're on a date and you're broke as **** lol. Also just dating for the sake of dating doesn't really excite me that much, which my friends find strange because they're always saying that I'd find plenty of dates if I tried, I just don't actively pursue them. But it's just not a priority to me and I'd rather spend my time with someone I actually like than take a risk and see what happens. I know that's a pretty close minded way of looking at things but I'm just too lazy at the moment lol. I think it comes and goes in phases.

 

[Jarrad]

I've rejected a few offers to be in a relationship purely on the basis of simply not wanting one. I don't want to feel as though I'm someone else's property. I think that as soon as I'd be in a relationship that the other person would have a sense of ownership over me, which makes me feel very uncomfortable.

Guess I just haven't found the lucky person yet.

 

[Joonbug]

I understand this too much -.- I'm the person my age who hasn't had a crush, or been kissed, or ever been asked out and at this point, I would have no idea what to do in a relationship. And then the stress of being the person who never has done anything relating to it kicks in, and I start freaking out because it's weird at this point and that's putting pressure on any possibility of being in a relationship and adding to how awkward it would be if I was... Not to mention just my personality and my interests sort of killing that dating puddle that was even there... Kinda hard to want to be in one because of all that pressure to do well and not screw up (and I've had a bit of a giant habit of trying really hard to act the way people want me too since I was little. My best friends always moved away every year so then you have to find new friends and they aren't the same and it just spirals out of control)... Essentially just super fun times over here. Don't worry about being alone on this one, hun.

 

[Ashtot]

You're completely normal. There is nothing out of the ordinary going on with you.

 

[Mary]

You're a lot like me. Most people feel obligated to be in a relationship. They "need" to feel needed by someone. I don't really understand that. (Everything I say on here is meant jokingly.) So no, I don't think it's weird at all.

- - - Post Merge - - -

no, relationships are boring and overrated

#slut4life

Yes yes yes!

 

[radical6]

to me it sounds like youre either aromantic or asexual. both are fine. im not aromantic/asexual so i cant really help you, sorry.
dont feel pressured to get into a relationship tho. its perfectly fine to not date anyone.

 

[Bowie]

Don't push yourself into a relationship until you're ready for one, mate.

 

[StarMayor]

I would say it's pretty normal. Ever since me and my ex-boyfriend split up about five years ago (not for anything bad, we both just realised we were better as friends and talked that out), I've found myself completely uninterested in seeking another relationship.

I even joke to my friends and family that I'm not going to bother getting married and that I'm just going to adopt cats instead. Right now, it's looking like that will be the case, but I don't really mind to be honest.

My advice is don't sweat it. It's normal to not be interested, is social pressures and 'norms' that make it seem like you should be.

 

[Joonbug]

My advice is don't sweat it. It's normal to not be interested, is social pressures and 'norms' that make it seem like you should be.

I think that't the real advice to take from all of this. Yes good.

 

[Piroshi]

If you find it distressing then you can get counseling, but if you're fine with it then there's no problem. I've tried dating before and I liked the person well enough, but it just wasn't for me. I've always gotten things like "well you're just shy" and "you'll change your mind eventually" but I never have and I'm fine with that. And if I ever to change my mind that's fine too, but for now I have no interest in relationships and I'm fine with being like that for the rest of my life.

 

[dr_shrunk]

thanks everyone, knowing that I am not weird and not the only one who feels this makes me happy
I've been givin' so much crap from people offline such as a my parents tellin' me a girl my age my age,
should have a boyfriend or should have been on at least one date, they even pressure me into it
Like saying "if someone ask you out say yes" it's like but what I don't like them they just say "don't be rude you wont know if you don't like them or not if you don't accept"

I've also been teased about it by others for it.


so once again thanks for the words, and maybe someday I'll feel fine but you're right no sense of rushing things
if I do that I will not be happy

 

[Yana]

Honestly? No, you're not weird. I've never really been interested in having a relationship; I've been curious, but I've never felt I needed to be in one. I believe that a relationship will inevitably be more trouble than it's worth, especially when I take into account how taxing friendships alone can be. I believe that a lot of the pressures of being in a relationship and finding a partner relate to social expectations. If you're not with someone, society tries to tell you you're doing something wrong--or that there's something wrong with you because you don't have a partner, and that's just dumb. Do what makes you happy, and if that means doing it without a significant other, then so what.

 

[LadyVivia]

It's not weird.. the real question is.. Is it weird that I hate some types of guys and not interested in relationships, but I still want to walk down the isle at my wedding...