Giveaway 7-Eleven Set

[e-puff]

Hello! Today I'm having a giveaway for a full 7-Eleven set (eleven pieces). To enter, post a joke. The joke that my team of highly specialized humor analysts finds most entertaining will win. Please, keep it to one entry per person.

Entries close at 11:00 PM PST on 3/25/14.
From the time you are notified, you have three days to pick up the items. If you fail to do so, another winner will be chosen.

 

[thebootycall]

At A Job Interview:

"What's your greatest weakness?"

"Honesty."

"I don't think honesty is a weakness."

"I don't give a f*** what you think."

 

[Farobi]

Got it to work!​

 

[Nemesis_Alice]

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one - and let the other one off.

 

[Emzy]

Haha abit too early for these jokes but...
Girl: "Dear Santa, please give me a unicorn for Christmas"
Santa: "Girl, be realistic"
Girl: "Fine then i would like a boyfriend"
Santa: "What colour do you want your unicorn?"
x)
Thanks for this chance ^^

 

[turntech]

What did the chemist say when he found two isotopes of Helium?

HeHe.

(omg that was so nerdy)

 

[Nerd House]

There was a man who got into a car accident. He was soon rushed to the hospital.
The left side of his body was completely paralyzed.
The doctor said, "He was going to be all right."

 

[Darumy]

I feel so shrunky right now. slams head down to think about some vague joke from the net floating in my head literally 2early



(plan)(plan) = 5plan x p5lan x pl5an x pla5n

i have foiled your plans



DER DER NER NER NER NER NE DERNERNENRENER E DE THUNG

 

[DaintyC]

Okie one for the Disney fans:

"Why is Snow White a great judge?"

"She's the fairest of the all!"

 

[Twilight]

What's a difference between train drivers and teachers?
One minds the train, and the other trains the mind!

 

[sami_spoon]

Why is Peter Pan always flying?
Because he Neverlands
*bah-dun ching*

 

[Cadbberry]

What kind of overalls does Mario wear.
-Underground Mario Theme Starts- Denim, Denim, Denim

 

[regalbeagle88]

What did they say about the band director that got struck by lightning?

He was a great conductor. ;P

 

[Cudon]

A man cheats on his girlfriend named Lorraine with a girl named Clearly.

Suddenly, Lorraine died.

At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, "I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone."

It's ****ty I know. But I don't even care :u

 

[Player1won]

"So did you hear about the kidnapping?"
"Oh no! What happened?"
"He woke up!"
*badum chhh*

 

[Kildor]

John was a photographer for the Daily News, and was scheduled to fly out on a plane to take some pictures. When he saw the runway he climbed into the first plane he saw that had a pilot, ?Hit it,? he yelled. The pilot took off, and was soon in the air. ?OK,? said John, ?fly close to that building over there, I want to take a few pictures.? ?What do you mean?? asked the pilot. John looked at the pilot and answered a little annoyed, ?I need to take some pictures for the Daily news, so please?..? * There was a long pause, before the pilot asked in a shaky voice, ?you mean you?re not my pilot instructor??

 

[aimeekitty]

Why was the mortgage so upset?

Because it was a loan

 

[gothscifigirl]

An airheaded young woman walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some "bottom deodorant". The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that they don't sell "bottom deodorant", and never have.

Unfazed, the woman assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis, and would like some more.

"I'm sorry," says the pharmacist, "we don't have any."

"But I always get it here," says the woman.

"Do you have the container it comes in?"

"Yes!" said the woman, "I will go get it."

She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who looks at it and says to her, "This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant."

The annoyed woman snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container, "To apply, push up bottom."

 

[Krysiak]

I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a ****zu

 

[ahliahli]

What does sushi A say to sushi b?

WASABI???!??