.

[morthael]

i’ve done both where i’ve typed out “tips appreciated but not required” and sometimes omitted it, and the frequency of the tips/no tips are pretty much the same. i honestly don’t see anything wrong with putting a disclaimer because i’ve used it as a means of communicating that i am thankful when people leave tips and sometimes, there are visitors who leave a tip without saying a word and then they leave which gives me no chance to thank them in game. i don’t think it’s fair to point fingers at a host accusing them of passive-aggressively pressuring people to leave tips when you don’t really know the intention behind their “tips appreciated but not required” when that might just be your own interpretation and not their intention.

 

[Hesper]

I really do see your point, but I feel that it's wrong to blame the host for a statement that "seems" passive-aggressive. It's not the host's duty to deal with other people's interpretation of that statement. Of course, adding that statement would add more pressure than not doing so, but I really don't think there's anything wrong with that. It's still ultimately up to the visitor whether they make the decision to tip or not. I don't think people should just stop using that phrase because other people feel that it's coercive when the meaning behind the phrase itself doesn't suggest that.

I think it's a bit of a different situation than the social pressure of removing your shoes. Removing shoes takes barely any sacrifice on your part, which is why it seems rude not to do so. Tipping in AC involves sacrificing materials/currency that could have been used on something else. In regards to real world circumstances, most people understand if you're not willing to part with hard earned money (excluding US tipping standards).

i’ve done both where i’ve typed out “tips appreciated but not required” and sometimes omitted it, and the frequency of the tips/no tips are pretty much the same. i honestly don’t see anything wrong with putting a disclaimer because i’ve used it as a means of communicating that i am thankful when people leave tips and sometimes, there are visitors who leave a tip without saying a word and then they leave which gives me no chance to thank them in game. i don’t think it’s fair to point fingers at a host accusing them of passive-aggressively pressuring people to leave tips when you don’t really know the intention behind their “tips appreciated but not required” when that might just be your own interpretation and not their intention.

Yes. It's not actually the host's problem for what people project into a very simple sentence. The phrase is clear enough, and we do all know what they say about assumptions.

 

[astoria]

i’ve done both where i’ve typed out “tips appreciated but not required” and sometimes omitted it, and the frequency of the tips/no tips are pretty much the same. i honestly don’t see anything wrong with putting a disclaimer because i’ve used it as a means of communicating that i am thankful when people leave tips and sometimes, there are visitors who leave a tip without saying a word and then they leave which gives me no chance to thank them in game. i don’t think it’s fair to point fingers at a host accusing them of passive-aggressively pressuring people to leave tips when you don’t really know the intention behind their “tips appreciated but not required” when that might just be your own interpretation and not their intention.

I was never blaming the host. I just felt that hearing the phrase all the time makes me interpret it in a different way. I’m sure they aren’t being passive aggressive but tip culture and many people saying in the thread “it’s rude not to tip” is confirming my feelings of feeling guilt/pressured to tip.

 

[morthael]

I was never blaming the host. I just felt that hearing the phrase all the time makes me interpret it in a different way. I’m sure they aren’t being passive aggressive but tip culture and many people saying in the thread “it’s rude not to tip” is confirming my feelings of feeling guilt/pressured to tip.

sorry i wasn’t being clear op, but i didn’t mean to direct it at you!! i definitely sympathize with your point of view! this response was for the last recent couple of posts that i saw implying it was a passive aggressive way to pressure people into giving tips! also!! it is definitely not rude to not tip!! tips are optional especially within this game and i don’t think it’s fair to compare it to real world instances of tips when in the united states, tips are used by businesses to not pay waiters and staff a livable wage, but that’s not a discussion for this forum.

 

[biksoka]

I normally say it as a blanket thank you since I'm afk (-ahem technically suppose to be working ahem-) most of the time when I have gates open.

Although the thread does bring up a pretty good point about whether or not just throwing it in makes ppl more likely to tip because they feel obligated to.
... hm

 

[TangledBowties]

I dont find an issue with people asking for tips or saying that they're appreciated. As long as they're not asking for anything outlandish. I personally always like to tip something because that person took the time out if their day to let you come to their island and provide a service for you that they didn't have to do. I dont see it as a big deal to leave a tip. Having multiple people over or having multiple groups come is very time consuming! So I always like to give something as a little thank you.

 

[jiojiop]

I really do see your point, but I feel that it's wrong to blame the host for a statement that "seems" passive-aggressive. It's not the host's duty to deal with other people's interpretation of that statement. Of course, adding that statement would add more pressure than not doing so, but I really don't think there's anything wrong with that.

I'm not arguing whether it's wrong or not - I said in another reply I can understand expecting compensation for one's time. I'm just saying it definitely adds pressure, and it seems there we are in agreement.

I think it's a bit of a different situation than the social pressure of removing your shoes. Removing shoes takes barely any sacrifice on your part, which is why it seems rude not to do so. Tipping in AC involves sacrificing materials/currency that could have been used on something else. In regards to real world circumstances, most people understand if you're not willing to part with hard earned money (excluding US tipping standards).

You're making a distinction without a difference. Sure, since removing shoes is less of a sacrifice than dropping 99k bells, more people would do it. But how many people would feel pressured is not the point. The point is that we understand that phrase to be insinuating that you ought to comply if you're a decent person. It definitely indicates the preference that you do what is "appreciated". That's the subtext of the phrase.

I think many people are not being honest with themselves about their motivations behind using the phrase. Imagine hosting and not a single person leaves you a tip. Would you truly be fine with that, or would you feel bitter? Many, I'm sure, if they're being honest with themselves, would feel bitter. That doesn't make you a bad person. But it means you're mentioning tips because you're trying to subtly remind people to give them because you want them and expect them.

And if you are one of the few who genuinely means it and who would honestly be fine if you got no tips? Then perhaps you should follow the advice @Mairen and @lackless gave, because you are earnestly misunderstanding the effect the phrase has on your audience.

 

[stiney]

I appreciate the clarification on your end. I at least know what you really mean.

I can read into things more than it’s necessary. Or I get confused with the true intention when it isn’t super straightforward/explained.

Lemme say I don’t believe it’s reflection of bad character to anyone who say ‘tips appreciated/but not required’. After reading what a lot of people meant on their part to post, I don’t feel as anxious (it’s still there but it’s moreover a ‘what-if’ kind of whispering thought).

By the end of it, I just want to be respectful and good regardless how I feel

If I host another giveaway I’m definitely going to be clearer and leave less room for ambiguity.

 

[miraxe]

They do it to differentiate themselves from people like me, who will be like, "Hey buddy, you dropped your bells." if you try to tip me.

On the other hand, I always tip just as a courtesy, ESPECIALLY on more popular events (good turnip prices, Celeste, meteor showers), because it's a huge chunk of time where you can't really play the game the way you normally would. People are coming in and out of your island, you're locked out of a lot of things like ordering from the catalogue and terraforming, and you're pretty much stuck hosting for a couple of hours minimum. Unless you specifically say DON'T TIP, I'm tipping.

 

[biibii]

no, I dont feel pressured to tip the nice people who offer me great services and hospitality, with a warm and friendly nature just because they have a "tips appreciated" sign. I feel obligated to tip for the other qualities I mentioned before. jeez -- feel obligated? dont ask for their services to avoid discomfort !

 

[RooftopsRevolution]

If someone is opening their town for your benefit, it is polite to leave a tip. I don't understand why people are so up in arms about it lmao If it makes you uncomfortable then maybe it's just best not to visit towns of strangers? Idk to me it's just wild that entry fees or optional tips bother people
As some people said in some cultures like Japan tips can be considered rude but that's not entirely true. In Japan if you wish to tip it has to be in an envelope and thoughtfully given to them. It's rude to leave money on the table of a restaurant for example.

 

[Cethosia]

I have mixed feelings about this. On one hand, saying that tips are appreciated can put pressure on people, on the other, I am a forgetful person who might forget to leave tips without reminder. I think just mentioning tips aren't needed should be enough. It can be a reminder, but it also wouldn't put pressure on people. And it would make those who aren't able to tip feel more at ease too.

I personally feel I am not worthy of tips for opening my island, but declining them also seems rude. I am grateful, but at the same time, I don't feel like I am doing anything worthy of a tip. I just want to help others. >.<

 

[astoria]

If someone is opening their town for your benefit, it is polite to leave a tip. I don't understand why people are so up in arms about it lmao If it makes you uncomfortable then maybe it's just best not to visit towns of strangers? Idk to me it's just wild that entry fees or optional tips bother people
As some people said in some cultures like Japan tips can be considered rude but that's not entirely true. In Japan if you wish to tip it has to be in an envelope and thoughtfully given to them. It's rude to leave money on the table of a restaurant for example.

This exact tone of your post is basically saying you’re a jerk if you don’t tip which is exactly my point. People aren’t all “up in arms about it” if multiple people are saying it’s rude to not give a tip then it’s an underlying thing that’s basically saying they want tips as mandatory. I shouldn’t have to tip every player that I visit if I just wanna see the design of their island or if I’m not there for a specific reason. if I want to leave a tip then I will but don’t guilt basically saying I’m a jerk if I don’t. Cause in the beginning people used to let others on their islands for free and didn’t care about entry fees or tips, but now since it’s beome the norm it’s all you see.
—-

Basically for the whole topic of the thread I stated that I feel pressure to tip and many people have confirmed it by saying it’s rude not to leave a tip or you should leave something in return, which is not a tip. A person shouldn’t be seen as not nice if they don’t give a tip, that just makes it known that everyone’s expecting a tip cause it’s the polite thing to do.

 

[JKDOS]

When I host for free, I am not expecting anything in return. I'm just trying to be nice. If someone wants to tip, that's up to them. I won't think any less of those who don't tip, as it wasn't my intention to receive tips.

 

[Millysaurusrexjr]

Yeah I see what you mean.

I only say it because everyone else does lol. Although I add in "tips not expected, no pressure at all".
On the flip side, I love leaving tips but feel very guilty if I don't.

 

[Raz]

If someone is opening their town for your benefit, it is polite to leave a tip. I don't understand why people are so up in arms about it lmao If it makes you uncomfortable then maybe it's just best not to visit towns of strangers? Idk to me it's just wild that entry fees or optional tips bother people
As some people said in some cultures like Japan tips can be considered rude but that's not entirely true. In Japan if you wish to tip it has to be in an envelope and thoughtfully given to them. It's rude to leave money on the table of a restaurant for example.

Ok, so let's see... By saying it's polite to leave a tip, you're also saying it's the opposite of you don't leave a tip, thus, pressuring people to consent to the norm some of you guys are trying to push (if you don't tip, you're going against the etiquette we expect you to follow).

Second part, and context matters a lot here: you're suggesting that if people are too uncomfortable to adhere to the etiquette you expect them to follow, then, they should abstain from playing with others, essentially gatekeeping them if they don't comply to the rules you expect them to follow.

This post is the prime example of why the OP is right when he points out the pressure this kind of behavior has on the community, and how it can be problematic for the community as a whole, no matter in which side of the argument you are.

 

[lackless]

Yeah I see what you mean.

I only say it because everyone else does lol. Although I add in "tips not expected, no pressure at all".
On the flip side, I love leaving tips but feel very guilty if I don't.

I feel like “tips not expected, no pressure at all” sends a much more relaxed vibe and gives off the message that most people who put “tips appreciated but not required” were probably trying to convey! “Appreciated but not required” to me kind of gives the feel that people would really like tips but won’t bar me from the island or anything for visiting. I’m definitely reading a bit into it though.

I also kind of wanted to clarify my previous post - in no way do I blame people who specify they would like tips for my feelings of tipping obligation. That’s on me and if I’m particularly low on bells I simply give less and apologize.

 

[DrewAC]

I always tip 99k and NEVER sell my turnips at anyone requiring a fee. I don’t feel pressured at all to tip, but I do feel good about giving something back for someone being generous to the community instead of looking for a profit in every nook and cranny of the WiFi community as some do.

 

[thatveryawkwardmayor]

Ok, so let's see... By saying it's polite to leave a tip, you're also saying it's the opposite of you don't leave a tip, thus, pressuring people to consent to the norm some of you guys are trying to push (if you don't tip, you're going against the etiquette we expect you to follow).

Second part, and context matters a lot here: you're suggesting that if people are too uncomfortable to adhere to the etiquette you expect them to follow, then, they should abstain from playing with others, essentially gatekeeping them if they don't comply to the rules you expect them to follow.

This post is the prime example of why the OP is right when he points out the pressure this kind of behavior has on the community, and how it can be problematic for the community as a whole, no matter in which side of the argument you are.

I 100% agree with this! If you host and say tips aren't necessary then you better mean it otherwise just charge an entry fee (which theres nothing wrong with). Lets not pressure players to give more than what they can. Evidently, most people in this thread don't see tips as truly optional but rather something expected when trading. I honestly don't remember the whole tipping thing to be this big of a deal and expected in NL.

 

[Raz]

I 100% agree with this! If you host and say tips aren't necessary then you better mean it otherwise just charge an entry fee (which theres nothing wrong with). Lets not pressure players to give more than what they can. Evidently, most people in this thread don't see tips as truly optional but rather something expected when trading. I honestly don't remember the whole tipping thing to be this big of a deal and expected in NL.

Yeah, the word that should be used here is "entitlement". It clearly seems like most of these people feel entitled to receive tips, even if they make it look like they don't care about tips (which clearly isn't true, because if they really didn't care about tips, why even mention them?).