.

[jiojiop]

You are making millions of bells by them opening up their island to you and spending their time being helpful to you by doing so and you don't want to throw them 100k of your 2m? Something presumably only possible because they opened up their island to you, otherwise you wouldn't be there... Who is greedy again?

Listen, some people are asking for CRAZY stuff, like 10nmt. But if someone says "tips appreciated" that means "I am not going to tell you what to pay or have an entry fee, but kindly tip please". Do your waiters and waitresses at restaurants say "please tip me!" at a restaurant?

I mean your argument is sound, but what you're effectively saying is "tipping is an obligation and you're a rude jerk if you don't. It's expected."

And that's exactly what OP said the line comes off as: people expecting a tip and making others feel pressured to do so.

So you both agree - the line indicates the view that tipping is kinda mandatory, you just disagree on whether that's a good or bad thing.

Is there a more polite way to ask for something in return? These people didn’t have to help others for free. I always write tips are greatly appreciated because they are.. Is it fair that I go around tipping what I can but can’t ask for anything in return when I try to help others? No that’s not fair, shouldn’t be upset by this.

No, it is the polite way to ask for something in return. But that's just it: it's asking for something in return. That's the point: it's subtly asking for tips. It's not actually saying no tips.

The way you speak sounds like you feel entitled to tips. Which is fine, because I can understand wanting something for your time and effort. But this is exactly what the OP was pointing out: that the line does kind of come off as pressuring for tips. As long as you know that's what you're doing, and it sounds like you do, then there's no argument.

 

[SourDeez]

I mean your argument is sound, but what you're effectively saying is "tipping is an obligation and you're a rude jerk if you don't. It's expected."

And that's exactly what OP said the line comes off as: people expecting a tip and making others feel pressured to do so.

So you both agree - the line indicates the view that tipping is kinda mandatory, you just disagree on whether that's a good or bad thing.



No, it is the polite way to ask for something in return. But that's just it: it's asking for something in return. That's the point: it's subtly asking for tips. It's not actually saying no tips.

The way you speak sounds like you feel entitled to tips. Which is fine, because I can understand wanting something for your time and effort. But this is exactly what the OP was pointing out: that the line does kind of come off as pressuring for tips. As long as you know that's what you're doing, and it sounds like you do, then there's no argument.

I understand your point and I wouldn’t even mention it in my post if I wouldn’t accept tips but just starting out,, going around tipping and trying to give back. I will accept tips so that is the nicest way I can say it. Tips greatly appreciated. No one is forcing anything but kindly reinsuring if tipped it’s very helpful.

 

[Spends]

I don't see any issue with saying it.

I try to tip where I can anyway, even if it's just to water someone's flowers.

Especially if someone has opened their doors so I can get diys from crafting islanders, giveaways or letting me sell turnips.

 

[Raz]

No no... trying to help others by providing something they don’t have... i have given plenty of things away for free. Don’t shame people for politely asking for something in return for their time and services when it’s clearly not demanded.

You said this:

"Is it fair that I go around tipping what I can but can’t ask for anything in return when I try to help others?"

When you're doing something for someone without asking anything in return, that's called doing a favor.

When you're doing something for someone asking them for something in return, that's called offering a service or selling a product.

I can't be more clear than that.

You can ask people for something in return, just don't call it as a favor, because that's not true. As soon as you ask for something in return, it stops being a favor/charity act/act of goodwill, and becomes a remunerated service.

 

[SourDeez]

You said this:

"Is it fair that I go around tipping what I can but can’t ask for anything in return when I try to help others?"

When you're doing something for someone without asking anything in return, that's called doing a favor.

When you're doing something for someone asking them for something in return, that's called offering a service or selling a product.

I can't be more clear than that.

You can ask people for something in return, just don't call it as a favor, because that's not true. As soon as you ask for something in return, it stops being a favor/charity act/act of goodwill, and becomes a remunerated service.

I never once said the word favour! I said helping others! I gave away all my villagers for free what was the fee?!?

Post automatically merged: May 14, 2020

I never once said the word favour! I said helping others! I gave away all my villagers for free what was the fee?!?

 

[Raz]

I never once said the word favour! I said helping others! I gave away all my villagers for free what was the fee?!?

I know you didn't said favor, I said. Why? Because apparently, people don't know the difference between helping others and offering a service.

If you think you're helping them when you're actually offering a service, then it's a different thing.

When you gave villagers for free, you were doing these people a favor. If they tipped without you mentioning or asking "tips are greatly appreciated", it's a favor.

Everybody knows tips are appreciated. You don't need to state that. But when you do, well, that's exactly the OP's point.

When you say you're helping others but you're expecting to get something in return, you're actually offering a service (I give you this, you give me that) or doing a trade. In this case, they're also helping you, which is good, but neither side is "tipping" the other, because giving tips is an spontaneous act of gratitude, which is very different than trade partners swapping goods or a contractor paying for a service.

Again, I'm not saying you can't ask for something in return when you're offering something. It's just that when you do this, whatever you gain in return is not a tip.

 

[lackless]

I never mention/ask for tips when I open the island and find that the majority of people tip anyway or are very verbally thankful which is honestly more than enough for me! I think tipping culture is so ingrained in many people (to the point where I had to stop my friend from tipping me after I gave her a villager as a gift) that there’s really no need to point it out.

Unless you actually don’t want tips I don’t quite understand what the logic is in mentioning them when opening the island? I’ve noticed a lot of people mention the “tips appreciated, not required” thing and I guess it’s just caught on. For me, I’d usually tip anyway (10%+ for turnips, bells or NMT or items otherwise) but I definitely feel the OP’s POV. There’s a thought process (for me, anyway) when you see “tips appreciated” where you know the host has thought about it enough to type it out, so you think you should probably bring something so that they won’t feel like you were a waste of time.

 

[moonbox]

I can see it being like "hey if you wanted to tip don't feel like you can't because I didn't explicitly say so"

like have you ever tried to give someone something and they're like "uh actually I really don't need that"

Post automatically merged: May 14, 2020

also unless you're zoom calling your trades, the lack of irl communication is prone to awkwardness and misunderstandings. we project our own experiences onto text communications. I think that's why some hosts try to remedy this awkwardness by saying "feel free to tip but it's not necessary." if a host gets mad at you for not tipping, then clearly it was considered an entry fee for them. the burden is on the host to communicate this.

 

[Mairen]

I never mention/ask for tips when I open the island and find that the majority of people tip anyway or are very verbally thankful which is honestly more than enough for me! I think tipping culture is so ingrained in many people (to the point where I had to stop my friend from tipping me after I gave her a villager as a gift) that there’s really no need to point it out.

Unless you actually don’t want tips I don’t quite understand what the logic is in mentioning them when opening the island? I’ve noticed a lot of people mention the “tips appreciated, not required” thing and I guess it’s just caught on. For me, I’d usually tip anyway (10%+ for turnips, bells or NMT or items otherwise) but I definitely feel the OP’s POV. There’s a thought process (for me, anyway) when you see “tips appreciated” where you know the host has thought about it enough to type it out, so you think you should probably bring something so that they won’t feel like you were a waste of time.

This. I challenge the people here to try offering the same services, but without hinting to their visitors "tips appreciated". Just try it and see. I'll bet pretty much everyone is still going to leave a tip. Because the animal crossing community is typically generous and kind (or it used to be?).

I totally understand that you guys aren't actually saying "tips appreciated" while holding your hands out expectantly, but that's what that kind of thing feels like to your visitors when you say that. If you really want to offer your services for free, give it a try without mentioning tips at all. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised to find people are going to leave them anyways.

 

[Zura]

thats just reinforcing the notion that optional tips aren't really optional. I usually tip a small amount but if I choose not to i shouldn't have to feel bad about it.

Idk I think you should feel bad. Not tipping is like saying you don't appreciate the host's time and kindness.

 

[thatveryawkwardmayor]

Idk I think you should feel bad. Not tipping is like saying you don't appreciate the host's time and kindness.

I mean if thats your opinion then sure, but I disagree. a tip is optional in nature and depending on your cultural context you may or may not feel obligated to tip. If you were the host and had a "tips are optional" disclaimer and I don't tip you, and then you turn around and get mad for me not tipping then thats your problem lmaoo just have an entry fee.

 

[Jas]

oh no! i'm definitely a "tips appreciated" kind of host but i really do not care whether people tip or not! i've been saying that just to emphasize there is no entry fee but maybe i'll just take it out in the future if it reads this way! but as a visitor, i haven't felt pressured to leave any tips at all. i will almost always tip something anyways, as opposed to entry fees, where i just tend not to visit LOL

 

[Zura]

I mean if thats your opinion then sure, but I disagree. a tip is optional in nature and depending on your cultural context you may or may not feel obligated to tip. If you were the host and had a "tips are optional" disclaimer and I don't tip you, and then you turn around and get mad for me not tipping then thats your problem lmaoo just have an entry fee.

I agree it's more of an opinion. People who get mad at you for not tipping when saying it's optional are in the wrong. However, tipping someone should be IMO always required unless the service was terrible. I get your reasoning that it becomes more of an entrance fee but I honestly couldn't imagine not giving a kind person a reward for helping me out.

 

[Balverine]

It doesn't really bother me, I generally tip, especially if the person was really nice or I took longer than expected for whatever reason

I'm only bothered by it when the demands pricey tips and such, like not as an entry fee, but like "you need to tip me an expensive item or a lot of NMT", but I haven't really dealt with that in TBT

 

[astoria]

I pressure myself into tipping and not the other way around. Optional doesn't give you a free pass to be a scum bag

Idk I think you should feel bad. Not tipping is like saying you don't appreciate the host's time and kindness.

It’s extreme to call someone a scumbag just because they didn’t tip when tipping is supposed to be optional. If a tip is mandatory, it’s not a tip.

 

[Zura]

It’s extreme to call someone a scumbag just because they didn’t tip when tipping is supposed to be optional. If a tip is mandatory, it’s not a tip.

The host viewing it as scumbag-ish doesn't make it "mandatory". IMO I think it's extremely mean not to tip and I'm rarely the host haha.

 

[Pretty Dead Boy]

Hmm I think there’s a slight semantic difference in how I meant “tips appreciated” and you read it, as I meant it as “if you do it anyway I will be appreciative/grateful” and you were hearing as “I’d appreciate it if you would...” which is actually just a way of saying “please.” Reading it as “please do so” would absolutely put pressure in the post, but it’s also definitely not how I meant it.

I appreciate the clarification on your end. I at least know what you really mean.

I can read into things more than it’s necessary. Or I get confused with the true intention when it isn’t super straightforward/explained.

Lemme say I don’t believe it’s reflection of bad character to anyone who say ‘tips appreciated/but not required’. After reading what a lot of people meant on their part to post, I don’t feel as anxious (it’s still there but it’s moreover a ‘what-if’ kind of whispering thought).

By the end of it, I just want to be respectful and good regardless how I feel

 

[Mo Notony]

This is why I only go to friends I know islands. Then I dump some oranges on them. Just as a courtesy. Of course they never ask for it, but yeah, I do it because it's common courtesy because they're my friends. I def do NOT expect anything but they always ask if they can bring anything.

 

[Hesper]

Anyway, I'm gonna keep saying it because it's the most efficient way I can see to express gratitude without hunting people down and possibly making them feel weird for the attention. Especially when I can't see who left what all the time. I was raised to say "thank you" for gifts, and tips are definitely that, and I'd feel bad if I didn't say it at all.

I prefer giving things away for free because *that* makes me less anxious, but I want people to know it's received with joy if they do choose to tip me. If that's "pressuring people", just call me an after-school special.

 

[Celes]

OP definitely has a point. There's a lot of people in this thread who have clearly not played Bioshock

I think a lot of people are missing the nuance of language and just taking words literally. If I wanted tips from people but felt insecure about demanding entry fees, I'd definitely say "tips aren't necessary but they are appreciated " to passive-aggressively suggest to people that they ought to. Just the same, if you entered someone's house and they said "you don't need to remove your shoes, but it'd be appreciated", you'd feel socially pressured to remove your shoes, as long as you're not an oblivious person who doesn't care at all what others think of them.

I really do see your point, but I feel that it's wrong to blame the host for a statement that "seems" passive-aggressive. It's not the host's duty to deal with other people's interpretation of that statement. Of course, adding that statement would add more pressure than not doing so, but I really don't think there's anything wrong with that. It's still ultimately up to the visitor whether they make the decision to tip or not. I don't think people should just stop using that phrase because other people feel that it's coercive when the meaning behind the phrase itself doesn't suggest that.

I think it's a bit of a different situation than the social pressure of removing your shoes. Removing shoes takes barely any sacrifice on your part, which is why it seems rude not to do so. Tipping in AC involves sacrificing materials/currency that could have been used on something else. In regards to real world circumstances, most people understand if you're not willing to part with hard earned money (excluding US tipping standards).