Is there a more polite way to ask for something in return? These people didn’t have to help others for free. I always write tips are greatly appreciated because they are.. Is it fair that I go around tipping what I can but can’t ask for anything in return when I try to help others? No that’s not fair, shouldn’t be upset by this.
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- Thread starter astoria
- Start date
who was talking about turnips here? My post wasn’t about people opening their islands to sell turnips. I’m talking about people opening up their islands for people to visit just to look around asking for tips. Also by the tone of your post you’re basically saying it’s rude not to tip if you sell turnips when tips are supposed to be OPTIONAL. And you shouldn’t be trying to guilt someone saying “oh wow they were kind enough to open their island and let you sell turnips and you wouldn’t give them money?!”
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You weren't talking about turnips? Okay I guess I will buy that... If people just want to play with you I don't see why they would say tip appreciated, they are obviously providing something to you that you can't provide to yourself, yes?
The alternative is players never tipping and then guess what happens? You get entry fees. When the game first came out entry fees weren't a thing, but then players use others islands to make millions of bells and leave nothing or a few of your native fruits and then what happens? Entry fees become a thing.
The US has to be the only place I've ever visited where tipping is so in-your-face to be honest, but I do kind of feel like that's where a lot of the "appreciated but not required" talk comes from. This forum does seem to have a largely American audience, and everyone knows what tipping culture is like in the states.
In one of your previous posts you put that a tip is, by definition, optional, and whilst that's true, there's no denying American culture has twisted it to be the most mandatory optional thing you have to do haha - I feel like people who say it's "appreciated but not required" really are coming from a place of good will, especially if they're American, because as countless people have said, there is a pressure to leave tips anyway depending on where you're from in the world, so to say they're not required could easily be a sigh of relief to some people.
Not that I'm disagreeing with you or anything - I'm also not from the US so I agree whole-heartedly that it's a weird phrase to come across when tipping is, inherently, completely optional anyway (i.e. it goes without saying they're "appreciated but not required") - but I guess it's important to consider it from other perspectives too.
SheepMareep
Actual Magical Girl
I usually say "tips are not required but appreciated" because I dont need anything but know that a lot of people feel better when they do leave something.
But that's only when I am letting people in for turnips or something where people are constantly going in/out of my town. A lot of people require a tip (basically an entry fee at that point.) In order for you to sell so I like to clarify that nope, Im not one of them do what u want idc. When someone gets a lot of bells from the stock market I've noticed a lot of ppl want to thank the person who helped them.
If its something like celeste is there or saharah is there or they wanna see my island like small stuff I wont even mention the idea of tips bc it's weird to want them just so someone can go get a diy disnixsnjsixs.
But that's only when I am letting people in for turnips or something where people are constantly going in/out of my town. A lot of people require a tip (basically an entry fee at that point.) In order for you to sell so I like to clarify that nope, Im not one of them do what u want idc. When someone gets a lot of bells from the stock market I've noticed a lot of ppl want to thank the person who helped them.
If its something like celeste is there or saharah is there or they wanna see my island like small stuff I wont even mention the idea of tips bc it's weird to want them just so someone can go get a diy disnixsnjsixs.
I totally understand what you're saying. And as far as being important to consider other perspectives, I agree. But It would also be cool if these people could do the same, and we saw a lot of people ridiculing the OP because they apparently can't consider their perspective.
I always try to be as clear as possible when I say these things because it's very easy for people to take offense at others before trying to understand why they're saying what they're saying. And, for a community that prides itself for being wholesome and welcoming, shaming the OP for posting and even questioning someone for creating a topic for discussion is something that, in my eyes, a sign that there's much more things going wrong out there than people want to admit.
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OP definitely has a point. There's a lot of people in this thread who have clearly not played Bioshock 
I think a lot of people are missing the nuance of language and just taking words literally. If I wanted tips from people but felt insecure about demanding entry fees, I'd definitely say "tips aren't necessary but they are appreciated
" to passive-aggressively suggest to people that they ought to. Just the same, if you entered someone's house and they said "you don't need to remove your shoes, but it'd be appreciated", you'd feel socially pressured to remove your shoes, as long as you're not an oblivious person who doesn't care at all what others think of them.
I think a lot of people are missing the nuance of language and just taking words literally. If I wanted tips from people but felt insecure about demanding entry fees, I'd definitely say "tips aren't necessary but they are appreciated
" to passive-aggressively suggest to people that they ought to. Just the same, if you entered someone's house and they said "you don't need to remove your shoes, but it'd be appreciated", you'd feel socially pressured to remove your shoes, as long as you're not an oblivious person who doesn't care at all what others think of them.
Has anyone let visitors in without actually saying "tips appreciated"? Did you find that a bunch of people were coming and going without leaving a tip in that case? I'd like to think that in general, if people are going to tip anyways, then they are going to do so without having to be reminded. "Tips appreciated" should be an assumed thing. The moment someone is subtly throwing the words " tips appreciated" out there, then most of us are going to feel obligated to, just to appear polite, rather than having it be something that we decided to do all on our own.
I held a Celeste event a while ago with free entry, free crafting service and free DIY pool. I had 60+ people over and was expecting as much! So I put tips appreciated and also shared my wishlist. I had so many generous people come over and let me catalog items and tipped variously! There were also people who came over empty handed and tipped nothing, which was completelyyy fine! I made it free for a reason
As a community sharing things you need in game but not necessarily asking for them is totally fine when you're offering to have people over to help them get what they need also.
Community is the key word in this. It's the best thing
As a community sharing things you need in game but not necessarily asking for them is totally fine when you're offering to have people over to help them get what they need also. Community is the key word in this. It's the best thing
Strawberryllama
Senior Member
I guess I feel pressured to tip, but it's not the fault of whoever's hosting. I know hosting can be a hassle and I just want to give them something for giving me their time. I don't really mind the "tips appreciated but not required" or people who just charge a flat out fee, as long as it's not ridiculous. I'm from the US though and I guess tipping is different here so that might have something to do with it.
I generally prefer to tip at least something anyway, even if it isn't much, out of politeness for the host's time. I would rather at least give them 10k bells (my most frequent tip) or some sort of gift to show them my appreciation.
There's no need to feel pressured to leave a tip. At the end of the day if you decide not to, someone else will. The host will feel happy with whatever x amount of tips left by the other visitors.
They aren't gonna go on a warpath, "how dare that person did not tip me. I'm gonna curse them with a million Rodneys!"
They aren't gonna go on a warpath, "how dare that person did not tip me. I'm gonna curse them with a million Rodneys!"
meggtheegg
strawbaby she/her
i will say i understand the difference in tipping paid workers between cultures and different countries, i was raised in both the US and Germany so i've seen the difference first hand.
and although i understand and respect where the opposite perspective is coming from, comparing this to the american concept of unspoken mandatory tipping, i don't really personally think it's the same thing at all.
people who open their gates for you to sell turnips or get a diy from a villager etc aren't on the clock being paid for their service to you. again, not saying its right or wrong to not leave tips, i dont intend to rehash that, I think the semantics of when people leave this in their posts have been explained really well here multiple times, but just saying im kind of disagreeing with continuously citing this irl tipping cultural difference as the reason ppl shouldnt say "tips appreciated" when it comes to inviting large amounts of ppl into the island. it's really not the same thing as a waiter coming to your table and saying "i would appreciate tips but its not required"
and although i understand and respect where the opposite perspective is coming from, comparing this to the american concept of unspoken mandatory tipping, i don't really personally think it's the same thing at all.
people who open their gates for you to sell turnips or get a diy from a villager etc aren't on the clock being paid for their service to you. again, not saying its right or wrong to not leave tips, i dont intend to rehash that, I think the semantics of when people leave this in their posts have been explained really well here multiple times, but just saying im kind of disagreeing with continuously citing this irl tipping cultural difference as the reason ppl shouldnt say "tips appreciated" when it comes to inviting large amounts of ppl into the island. it's really not the same thing as a waiter coming to your table and saying "i would appreciate tips but its not required"
Let me explain you one thing.
If you want to help others by doing them a favor, you're going to ask people something in return. Do you know why? Because when you do something for someone asking for something in return, that's not called a favor, it's called a service. And services have fees. Fees aren't tips.
thatveryawkwardmayor
yikes!
thats just reinforcing the notion that optional tips aren't really optional. I usually tip a small amount but if I choose not to i shouldn't have to feel bad about it.
No no... trying to help others by providing something they don’t have... i have given plenty of things away for free. Don’t shame people for politely asking for something in return for their time and services when it’s clearly not demanded.
Dude_Skillz
Bob do be the best cat tho
What makes me feel the pressure is when you're selling something and somebody says: "I can offer 20-50 NMT for him/her" (just an example) I want the NMT, but it might be impolite if I take every last one.
If you’re asking for something in return, it’s a fee or at best a trade, not a tip. You don’t ask for tips.
A tip is a tip rather than a fee! It should be optional! However I do think if someone is providing a service then personally I like to give them something in return. Sometimes its helpful to ask if they have a wishlist or any items that could help them out, whether it is fruit, furniture, clothes or DIY materials. Even if you don't have something right then and there, you could always offer to order something for them from your catalogue that they are looking for and drop it off the next day!
I write tips are greatly appreciated. When I’m offering Free DIYs, Free villagers etc... what’s your problem?
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