Spanking your Child if they misbehave?

[Rubylena]

I am REALLY shocked that so many people in this thread say they were spanked.. are those all quite old (sorry, you know what I mean) and were raised differently or is that normal in your country (America?!)?! Is it allowed?
It's not acceptable. It isn't allowed here (I know it still happens of course, I'm just interested in other places' laws on this) and can lead to your kid being taken away from you.
Everyone who voted yes: I hope you don't have/will never have kids.

 

[Stalfos]

View attachment 175063
Ingen blir sn?ll av stryk.

Translation: Nobody get's better/nicer from being beaten.

 

[piichinu]

I am REALLY shocked that so many people in this thread say they were spanked.. are those all quite old (sorry, you know what I mean) and were raised differently or is that normal in your country (America?!)?! Is it allowed?
It's not acceptable. It isn't allowed here (I know it still happens of course, I'm just interested in other places' laws on this) and can lead to your kid being taken away from you.
Everyone who voted yes: I hope you don't have/will never have kids.

me personally, im 16 and in america. my parents aren't from this country & no its not legal here.

 

[maka]

I'm mixed about it. I've been spanked a few times as a younger child, and slapped once when I was older(for something that wasn't my fault, but I don't really care at this point). I'd say it should be used as a last resort if the kid is being disrespectful. But I'm not an adult either so my opinion might be less credible. I wouldn't go as far to say it's child abuse though. It depends on what it is.

 

[Tensu]

This is gonna be another one of those threads. It really depends on what the kid did. If it's not a big deal, you shouldn't spank him. But if it is something really bad, then let him off with a warning. Then if he does it again, you should spank him.

- - - Post Merge - - -

And definitely not out of anger but discipline. You can't just go around abusing children when you have a hissy fit.

- - - Post Merge - - -

My brothers got spanked with my mom's sandals (las chancletas). I was always a goodie goodie so I rarely got spanked. That's what happens when you come from a Cuban family lmao. Good times...

 

[Aali]

I have mixed feeling about this. I was spanked only like 2-3 times as a kid. and I honestly think I deserved it (i broke something on purpose, another time I said like ever swear word I knew just for fun) but idk if I would spank my own kids, right now I don't think I want kids, so I guess I really don't have an opinion

 

[etsusho]

I was spanked a couple times, but I don't know if I would spank my own kids.

If it is done, though, it shouldn't be hard enough to be considered abuse, though. I thought it should be more of a symbol than actually hurt. I've heard that some kids just need some kind of actual punishment they can really remember for them to know that something they did was wrong, instead of just being told, "No," all the time and forgetting about it. Or just knowing the possibility of it happening (even if it doesn't) is enough to stop them from misbehaving.

I don't know a lot about this, though. Guess I'll learn whenever I have kids.

 

[Cazqui]

I think people need to learn how to actually be a parent instead of relying out dated practices to discipline their children.

 

[ellarella]

i feel like it's pretty obvious by now that spanking doesn't have a positive effect on any kid, so there's no reason to do it.

 

[ZetaFunction]

I don't believe in physical punishments when children misbehave; you should use discipline to teach them how to behave properly, but things like spanking and hitting are wrong.

 

[EtchaSketch]

Haha, no. My mother was absolute crap to me and my brother when we were little, until we were able to fight back. It taught us nothing but to be violent back. Up until recently I didn't have a relationship with my mother, because of what she did to me, and the endless verbal and physical abuse. Sometimes we wouldn't even do anything wrong, she'd just assume. Three years ago my baby brother was born and I'm honestly concerned he's going to grow up violent, and he's already showing signs.

Tl;dr: Don't punish your kids like this, it's a trashy move, teaches them nothing, and lessens their relationship with you. I and many others I talk to agree.

 

[Soigne]

I personally wouldn't do it if I had children.

 

[Blu Rose]

While I personally wouldn't, I believe it totally okay to spank your child if other methods of discipline have been employed and it is used sparingly. I remember being spanked, like, 10 times or so? It was always used if I were to have been screaming in my room after being sent there--if I was being bad even after being dispelled. It was actually used once totally unfairly, but he was drunk so we excuse that.

 

[That Zephyr Guy]

I think it's fine depending on how the parent handles it. Obviously it should only be reserved for the harshest punishments, and how the parent handles it really makes a huge difference in my opinion.

To me, there's a huge difference between spanking your child while you appear angry, and spanking your child while you appear calm.

While both can be bad depending on the child, if the child knows it's a punishment from their wrongdoing as opposed to a consequence of their parent being angry, then I think it's fine.

Then again, this is all from my experience. My parents spanked me when I was a kid, and my relationship with them is really good. Any issues I have with my parents stem from completely unrelated things. Like, I don't like my mom basically at all because of how lazy she is, but I get along and like my dad a lot. It was, ironically, my dad who usually dealt out the punishment as well.


So yeah, I personally believe it's fine, but it has to be handled carefully and I'm totally in understanding of why someone would disagree with it. I think my parents just handled it very well.

 

[Miii]

Oh great, here we go again. Last time this was a thread, it ended with "spanking is always child abuse no matter what, and makes you a horrible parent, it traumatizes your children ,etc." I'm surprised it's lasted this long.

So once again, I agree with it if they're really misbehaving and refuse to respect you and the rules you put in place because it gets their attention and coddling a child their entire life simply doesn't work. I don't agree with spanking children every time they make a mistake, are too hyper in public, are loud in public etc. I only think spanking should be used when they absolutely won't listen to you.

I've read studies on this, but sadly, most of them were poorly conducted and were in favor of "spanking is always bad" to begin with. The reason I say these studies are poorly conducted is because things like face slapping, beating, and hitting children so hard it caused bruising were almost always included, yet the studies were supposed about spanking kids on the butt. I'm sure someone will jump down my throat, so let me just say now that I don't condone child abuse and I think a light smack on the butt, not a forceful beating, can be a good form of discipline.

- - - Post Merge - - -

Haha, no. My mother was absolute crap to me and my brother when we were little, until we were able to fight back. It taught us nothing but to be violent back. Up until recently I didn't have a relationship with my mother, because of what she did to me, and the endless verbal and physical abuse. Sometimes we wouldn't even do anything wrong, she'd just assume. Three years ago my baby brother was born and I'm honestly concerned he's going to grow up violent, and he's already showing signs.

Tl;dr: Don't punish your kids like this, it's a trashy move, teaches them nothing, and lessens their relationship with you. I and many others I talk to agree.

Spanking kids and what your mother did to you and your siblings are different things. We all agree that beating your children is awful.

 

[Zii]

Definitely no. There are a million other ways to discipline a child. Physical violence isn't an answer and could lead to the child developing problematic impressions about various other things.

 

[HungryForCereal]

it should depends on what your child has done. if its just a minor case of misbehaving then i dont think you need to spank them but if its something serious then go ahead, spank them till their asses are red.