1000 things you can do with pears

[Flare]

Shove it into your mouth and savor it

 

[Hanzoisbae]

Call them wannabe apples

 

[Hanzoisbae]

Slap them around

 

[pique]

Annoy your neighbor with 'em

 

[hitomi]

Give them to your cat and watch them freak out

 

[gagtxt]

toss em down the stairs

 

[pique]

Feed bits to a chicken

 

[classically.trained]

Throw it into your neighbor's backyard

 

[tiffanistarr]

use them as fuel for your car

 

[Sweetley]

Juggle them on your nose

 

[Animal Crossing Rocks]

Yell with a British/Scottish accent “Pears?!?! I hate pears!!!”

(disclaimer, I don’t actually hate pears)

 

[Hunter_Gr33n]

If the pear is big enough, carve it up and make a Jack o' Lantern with it!