When should a guy pay on the date?

[Kissyme100]

So, my boyfriend just took me out for a birthday date. We went for dinner then a movie. I expected to pay for my own movie stuff but I was kinda hoping he would pay for dinner. Am I over reacting if I'm a little pissed off on the inside?

 

[Matramix]

I think being pissed is totally reasonable, I know if it were my boyfriend I would want to be treated on my birthday and not have to pay for my own things..

 

[ams]

Yeah I definitely expect the guy to pay for things on a date. I mean it's different when you're in a long-term relationship but if it's just a date and he asked me out it would seem rude if he didn't pay.

 

[Flaming_Oceans]

You aren't overreacting. It's, like, your special day. You shouldn't really have to pay for anything on that day. That's only in my opinion, of course, though.

 

[Beardo]

Usually I'd say whatever, but it's your birthday

 

[DarkDesertFox]

For your birthday he should definitely be the one to pay for your dinner and movie. If you guys have been dating awhile and it wasn't a special occasion, then splitting the cost of entertainment for dates is fine.

 

[Cailey]

well I mean my boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years and a few months (living together for a year and a few months) and we just share money at this point or split costs or he just pays (we don't care much anymore as we're in a serious relationship and we live together so it's different) .. that being said it's a little hard for me to really comment on this other than the fact that it was your birthday and in my opinion ; yes, he should've treated you..

did you pay for everything? if so that's a bit low of him and you have the right to be a little upset but at the same time I don't know either of you personally or your true situation / relationship.

 

[King Dorado]

If you guys live together and have pooled resources then it's a different story, but if you have a formal dating relationship then it's odd he didn't treat you on your birthday. is he unemployed or something? also, what country are you in- i know in some cultures it's customary that the birthday celebrant buys for his or her guests...

 

[nerdatheart9490]

It was your birthday! Of course you shouldn't pay! You don't give someone a birthday present then make them pay for it.

When I first started dating my now ex-boyfriend, he paid for the first two dates because he knew I had recently lost my job. When I got some money, I was more than happy to split the bill when we went out to eat. But for a birthday? Nah. You don't pay on your b-day.

Unless he was broke. Is he broke? In that case, he just might not be able to pay right now. You can have him make it up to you later

 

[Deak]

I'm a guy. I'd feel incredibly awkward if I had my date or gf pay her own way for everything.

How am I suppose to show that I can and want to take care of her and have money a nonissue for her..that's wild.

All for equality etc, but this isn't exactly what we were talking about lol.

 

[riummi]

I would be hoping that he pay for important events (such as a birthday) or if he's the one who invited me out sometimes

 

[CrossAnimal]

I think you're right to feel a little pissed about this since it is your birthday. I've always thought that whoever extends the invitation should pay, special event or not.

 

[NerdHouse]

As you get older, your birthday gets less and less "important" until eventually your like "meh, I'm just a little older now" and it won't be such a big deal.

Enjoy the parties and such while you can, I suppose.


Also, I'd say it depends on the boyfriend's financial situation. You can always discuss things with him before any plans are made so that no one is mad/angry/etc.

 

[DJStarstryker]

I don't think a guy should always have to pay. Honestly, IMO, that's being a selfish jerk to expect that. You should try to split things more fairly.

But for your birthday's date, he should be treating you. For all of it. The reverse is true if you took him out on a birthday date for his birthday. You should treat him.

 

[Oldcatlady]

well even if it was just a friend, it was your birthday so they should of treated you.

on regular dates 50/50 would be good. or you pay this time, he pays the next.

 

[piske]

My BF and I are in a long-term relationship and we live together. So we share the expenses for groceries and switch off on who pays what. But I would even be upset if he made me pay for my own birthday dinner!!! Maybe talk with him about it?

 

[Kissyme100]

Just in case you guys are interested in knowing this. No we do not live together or share finances, we've been dating for about 4 months but known each other for 4 years. I would of payed for both the dinner and movie if it was his birthday. If this was a regular date, I wouldn't care about paying my own bill but it's my birthday! He didn't even wish me a happy birthday btw. It's like he forgot it was my birthday.

- - - Post Merge - - -

I don't think a guy should always have to pay. Honestly, IMO, that's being a selfish jerk to expect that. You should try to split things more fairly.

But for your birthday's date, he should be treating you. For all of it. The reverse is true if you took him out on a birthday date for his birthday. You should treat him.

If it was a regular date I wouldn't care about paying for my bill. And I agree with you, I would pay for dinner for dinner and the movie if it was his birthday.

 

[Matramix]

Just in case you guys are interested in knowing this. No we do not live together or share finances, we've been dating for about 4 months but known each other for 4 years. I would of payed for both the dinner and movie if it was his birthday. If this was a regular date, I wouldn't care about paying my own bill but it's my birthday! He didn't even wish me a happy birthday btw. It's like he forgot it was my birthday.

- - - Post Merge - - -



If it was a regular date I wouldn't care about paying for my bill. And I agree with you, I would pay for dinner for dinner and the movie if it was his birthday.

I'm really sorry to hear that, if I were you I'd try talking to him about it, keeping things like this bottled up is the worst thing to do in a relationship because it begins to built spite overtime, from my experience at least. Hopefully everything works out, also happy birthday from me if it still is your birthday!

 

[kayleee]

Yeah on your birthday he definitely should have paid, I would be annoyed too. He should have paid for your movie also tbh

 

[crystalmilktea]

Ahh noo! Definitely talk to him about it, especially that you feel he forgot it was your birthday. You're not being unreasonable by getting upset, I (and so many others, as you can see) would be as well. But also listen to what he has to say! Have a good discussion rather than an argument, so this can be avoided in the future and you can both improve.

Also just to answer title question: we usually take turns/eyeball it, but on my birthday he would pay for me (and now that I think about it...he paid for his own birthday too OTL he probably insisted because I baked him a cake and bought him a really expensive present, so he feels bad about me spending more money on him)