I bet they're an alien trapped in a mermaid's body.
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What Do Aliens Do?
- Thread starter Hulaette
- Start date
I bet they're an alien trapped in a mermaid's body.
I think I'm starting to see a trend. I may have a culprit.
Obviously, Nintendo knows about the upcoming invasion as they come to steal our ink supplies. They released Splatoon as a way to ween us into confronting these vile creatures and make us more comfortable in accepting them as our new alien overlords. Over time though, they plan to destroy all land creatures and turn the earth into a world suitable for themselves as foretold in the Sunker Scrolls. The only land based creature they will allow to stay is Lord Judd.
Why are they people? They're not, they're just squids. They'll arrive as alien squids with funny googly eyes and slowly breed with humans, over time developing into a squid/person hybrid. This is the only way they'll 'evolve' to be capable of surviving earths atmosphere and living on dry land.
But why would we mate with them, they're squids!? They ink you, which we will mistake as some sort of greeting. This isn't a greeting though, the ink causes hallucinations and rots the brain forcing the victim to become a slave to the squid, as well as make sweet passionate love to it (pro tip: Your new alien overlords enjoy listening to Barry White whilst you make love to it).
Amiibo? Just a ploy from Nintendo. All the Amiibo so far are worthless except for the Splatoon Boy and Girl Amiibo, which are actually idols that will stop them from inking you and sucking out your brains, laying eggs in your empty shell of a head to take over your body as a vessel. As long as you have these two Amiibo on your shelf, you are safe. Nintendo needed the whole Smash Amiibo lie to trick us into buying these ones so we would be safe, we would have just asked questions if Splatoon were the only Amiibo released. Thank you, Nintendo, for preparing us for the invasion.
Conspiracy? No, truth.
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