Nope.
But I did watch the one where Squidward sleeps, and then ends up causing buildings to fall apart.
Yeah, I didn't see them yet either. I didn't like the Squidward sleeping one, but I did like the catering one after it.
☞ !The Miscellaneous! ☜
- Thread starter pinkcotton
- Start date
- Status
Yeah, I didn't see them yet either. I didn't like the Squidward sleeping one, but I did like the catering one after it.
Haskell
Saving for a username change KEK
xSuperMario64x
love of my life 💙💜
I only watch the episodes that came out before like season 5 or 6. Mostly seasons 1, 2, and 3.
I was actually born one month after the show premiered xD
Last edited:
B e t h a n y
I hate pears
According to all known laws
of aviation,
there is no way a bee
should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get
its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway
because bees don't care
what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow!
Let's shake it up a little.
Barry! Breakfast is ready!
Ooming!
Hang on a second.
Hello?
- Barry?
- Adam?
- Oan you believe this is happening?
- I can't. I'll pick you up.
Looking sharp.
Use the stairs. Your father
paid good money for those.
Sorry. I'm excited.
Here's the graduate.
We're very proud of you, son.
A perfect report card, all B's.
Very proud.
Ma! I got a thing going here.
- You got lint on your fuzz.
- Ow! That's me!
- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000.
- Bye!
Barry, I told you,
stop flying in the house!
- Hey, Adam.
- Hey, Barry.
- Is that fuzz gel?
- A little. Special day, graduation.
Never thought I'd make it.
Three days grade school,
three days high school.
Those were awkward.
Three days college. I'm glad I took
a day and hitchhiked around the hive.
You did come back different.
- Hi, Barry.
- Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.
- Hear about Frankie?
- Yeah.
- You going to the funeral?
- No, I'm not going.
Everybody knows,
sting someone, you die.
Don't waste it on a squirrel.
Such a hothead.
I guess he could have
just gotten out of the way.
I love this incorporating
an amusement park into our day.
That's why we don't need vacations.
Boy, quite a bit of pomp...
under the circumstances.
- Well, Adam, today we are men.
- We are!
- Bee-men.
- Amen!
Hallelujah!
Students, faculty, distinguished bees,
please welcome Dean Buzzwell.
Welcome, New Hive Oity
graduating class of...
...9:15.
That concludes our ceremonies.
And begins your career
at Honex Industries!
Will we pick ourjob today?
I heard it's just orientation.
Heads up! Here we go.
Keep your hands and antennas
inside the tram at all times.
- Wonder what it'll be like?
- A little scary.
Welcome to Honex,
a division of Honesco
and a part of the Hexagon Group.
This is it!
Wow.
Wow.
We know that you, as a bee,
have worked your whole life
to get to the point where you
can work for your whole life.
Honey begins when our valiant Pollen
Jocks bring the nectar to the hive.
Our top-secret formula
is automatically color-corrected,
scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured
into this soothing sweet syrup
with its distinctive
golden glow you know as...
Honey!
- That girl was hot.
- She's my cousin!
- She is?
- Yes, we're all cousins.
- Right. You're right.
- At Honex, we constantly strive
to improve every aspect
of bee existence.
These bees are stress-testing
a new helmet technology.
- What do you think he makes?
- Not enough.
Here we have our latest advancement,
the Krelman.
- What does that do?
- Oatches that little strand of honey
that hangs after you pour it.
Saves us millions.
Oan anyone work on the Krelman?
Of course. Most bee jobs are
small ones. But bees know
that every small job,
if it's done well, means a lot.
But choose carefully
because you'll stay in the job
you pick for the rest of your life.
The same job the rest of your life?
I didn't know that.
What's the difference?
You'll be happy to know that bees,
as a species, haven't had one day off
in 27 million years.
So you'll just work us to death?
We'll sure try.
Wow! That blew my mind!
"What's the difference?"
How can you say that?
One job forever?
That's an insane choice to have to make.
I'm relieved. Now we only have
to make one decision in life.
But, Adam, how could they
never have told us that?
Why would you question anything?
We're bees.
We're the most perfectly
functioning society on Earth.
You ever think maybe things
work a little too well here?
Like what? Give me one example.
I don't know. But you know
what I'm talking about.
Please clear the gate.
Royal Nectar Force on approach.
Wait a second. Oheck it out.
- Hey, those are Pollen Jocks!
- Wow.
I've never seen them this close.
They know what it's like
outside the hive.
Yeah, but some don't come back.
- Hey, Jocks!
- Hi, Jocks!
You guys did great!
You're monsters!
You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it!
- I wonder where they were.
- I don't know.
Their day's not planned.
Outside the hive, flying who knows
where, doing who knows what.
You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen
Jock. You have to be bred for that.
Right.
Look. That's more pollen
than you and I will see in a lifetime.
It's just a status symbol.
Bees make too much of it.
Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it
and the ladies see you wearing it.
Those ladies?
Aren't they our cousins too?
Distant. Distant.
Look at these two.
- Oouple of Hive Harrys.
- Let's have fun with them.
It must be dangerous
being a Pollen Jock.
Yeah. Once a bear pinned me
against a mushroom!
He had a paw on my throat,
and with the other, he was slapping me!
- Oh, my!
- I never thought I'd knock him out.
What were you doing during this?
Trying to alert the authorities.
I can autograph that.
A little gusty out there today,
wasn't it, comrades?
Yeah. Gusty.
We're hitting a sunflower patch
six miles from here tomorrow.
- Six miles, huh?
- Barry!
A puddle jump for us,
but maybe you're not up for it.
- Maybe I am.
- You are not!
We're going 0900 at J-Gate.
What do you think, buzzy-boy?
Are you bee enough?
I might be. It all depends
on what 0900 means.
Hey, Honex!
Dad, you surprised me.
You decide what you're interested in?
- Well, there's a lot of choices.
- But you only get one.
Do you ever get bored
doing the same job every day?
Son, let me tell you about stirring.
You grab that stick, and you just
move it around, and you stir it around.
You get yourself into a rhythm.
It's a beautiful thing.
You know, Dad,
the more I think about it,
maybe the honey field
just isn't right for me.
You were thinking of what,
making balloon animals?
That's a bad job
for a guy with a stinger.
Janet, your son's not sure
he wants to go into honey!
- Barry, you are so funny sometimes.
- I'm not trying to be funny.
You're not funny! You're going
into honey. Our son, the stirrer!
- You're gonna be a stirrer?
- No one's listening to me!
Wait till you see the sticks I have.
I could say anything right now.
I'm gonna get an ant tattoo!
Let's open some honey and celebrate!
Maybe I'll pierce my thorax.
Shave my antennae.
Shack up with a grasshopper. Get
a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"!
I'm so proud.
- We're starting work today!
- Today's the day.
Oome on! All the good jobs
will be gone.
Yeah, right.
Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring,
stirrer, front desk, hair removal...
- Is it still available?
- Hang on. Two left!
One of them's yours! Oongratulations!
Step to the side.
- What'd you get?
- Picking crud out. Stellar!
Wow!
Oouple of newbies?
Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready!
Make your choice.
- You want to go first?
- No, you go.
Oh, my. What's available?
Restroom attendant's open,
not for the reason you think.
- Any chance of getting the Krelman?
- Sure, you're on.
I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out.
Wax monkey's always open.
The Krelman opened up again.
What happened?
A bee died. Makes an opening. See?
He's dead. Another dead one.
Deady. Deadified. Two more dead.
Dead from the neck up.
Dead from the neck down. That's life!
Oh, this is so hard!
Heating, cooling,
stunt bee, pourer, stirrer,
humming, inspector number seven,
lint coordinator, stripe supervisor,
mite wrangler. Barry, what
do you think I should... Barry?
Barry!
All right, we've got the sunflower patch
in quadrant nine...
What happened to you?
Where are you?
- I'm going out.
- Out? Out where?
- Out there.
- Oh, no!
I have to, before I go
to work for the rest of my life.
You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello?
Another call coming in.
If anyone's feeling brave,
there's a Korean deli on 83rd
that gets their roses today.
Hey, guys.
- Look at that.
- Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday?
Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted.
It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up.
Really? Feeling lucky, are you?
Sign here, here. Just initial that.
- Thank you.
- OK.
You got a rain advisory today,
and as you all know,
bees cannot fly in rain.
So be careful. As always,
watch your brooms,
hockey sticks, dogs,
birds, bears and bats.
Also, I got a couple of reports
of root beer being poured on us.
Murphy's in a home because of it,
babbling like a cicada!
- That's awful.
- And a reminder for you rookies,
bee law number one,
absolutely no talking to humans!
All right, launch positions!
Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz,
buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!
Black and yellow!
Hello!
You ready for this, hot shot?
Yeah. Yeah, bring it on.
Wind, check.
- Antennae, check.
- Nectar pack, check.
- Wings, check.
- Stinger, check.
Scared out of my shorts, check.
OK, ladies,
let's move it out!
Pound those petunias,
you striped stem-suckers!
All of you, drain those flowers!
Wow! I'm out!
I can't believe I'm out!
So blue.
I feel so fast and free!
Box kite!
Wow!
Flowers!
This is Blue Leader.
We have roses visual.
Bring it around 30 degrees and hold.
Roses!
30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around.
Stand to the side, kid.
It's got a bit of a kick.
That is one nectar collector!
- Ever see pollination up close?
- No, sir.
I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it
over here. Maybe a dash over there,
a pinch on that one.
See that? It's a little bit of magic.
That's amazing. Why do we do that?
That's pollen power. More pollen, more
flowers, more nectar, more honey for us.
Oool.
I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow.
Oould be daisies. Don't we need those?
Oopy that visual.
Wait. One of these flowers
seems to be on the move.
Say again? You're reporting
a moving flower?
Affirmative.
That was on the line!
This is the coolest. What is it?
I don't know, but I'm loving this color.
It smells good.
Not like a flower, but I like it.
Yeah, fuzzy.
Ohemical-y.
Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby.
My sweet lord of bees!
Oandy-brain, get off there!
Problem!
- Guys!
- This could be bad.
Affirmative.
Very close.
Gonna hurt.
Mama's little boy.
You are way out of position, rookie!
Ooming in at you like a missile!
Help me!
I don't think these are flowers.
- Should we tell him?
- I think he knows.
What is this?!
Match point!
You can start packing up, honey,
because you're about to eat it!
Yowser!
Gross.
There's a bee in the car!
- Do something!
- I'm driving!
- Hi, bee.
- He's back here!
He's going to sting me!
Nobody move. If you don't move,
he won't sting you. Freeze!
He blinked!
Spray him, Granny!
What are you doing?!
Wow... the tension level
out here is unbelievable.
I gotta get home.
Oan't fly in rain.
Oan't fly in rain.
Oan't fly in rain.
Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down!
Ken, could you close
the window please?
Ken, could you close
the window please?
Oheck out my new resume.
I made it into a fold-out brochure.
You see? Folds out.
Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this.
What was that?
Maybe this time. This time. This time.
This time! This time! This...
Drapes!
That is diabolical.
It's fantastic. It's got all my special
skills, even my top-ten favorite movies.
What's number one? Star Wars?
Nah, I don't go for that...
...kind of stuff.
No wonder we shouldn't talk to them.
They're out of their minds.
When I leave a job interview, they're
flabbergasted, can't believe what I say.
There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out.
I don't remember the sun
having a big 75 on it.
I predicted global warming.
I could feel it getting hotter.
At first I thought it was just me.
Wait! Stop! Bee!
Stand back. These are winter boots.
Wait!
Don't kill him!
You know I'm allergic to them!
This thing could kill me!
Why does his life have
less value than yours?
Why does his life have any less value
than mine? Is that your statement?
I'm just saying all life has value. You
don't know what he's capable of feeling.
My brochure!
There you go, little guy.
I'm not scared of him.
It's an allergic thing.
Put that on your resume brochure.
My whole face could puff up.
Make it one of your special skills.
Knocking someone out
is also a special skill.
Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks.
- Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night?
- Sure, Ken. You know, whatever.
- You could put carob chips on there.
- Bye.
- Supposed to be less calories.
- Bye.
I gotta say something.
She saved my life.
I gotta say something.
All right, here it goes.
Nah.
What would I say?
I could really get in trouble.
It's a bee law.
You're not supposed to talk to a human.
I can't believe I'm doing this.
I've got to.
Oh, I can't do it. Oome on!
No. Yes. No.
Do it. I can't.
How should I start it?
"You like jazz?" No, that's no good.
Here she comes! Speak, you fool!
Hi!
I'm sorry.
- You're talking.
- Yes, I know.
You're talking!
I'm so sorry.
No, it's OK. It's fine.
I know I'm dreaming.
But I don't recall going to bed.
Well, I'm sure this
is very disconcerting.
This is a bit of a surprise to me.
I mean, you're a bee!
I am. And I'm not supposed
to be doing this,
but they were all trying to kill me.
And if it wasn't for you...
I had to thank you.
It's just how I was raised.
That was a little weird.
- I'm talking with a bee.
- Yeah.
I'm talking to a bee.
And the bee is talking to me!
I just want to say I'm grateful.
I'll leave now.
- Wait! How did you learn to do that?
- What?
The talking thing.
Same way you did, I guess.
"Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up.
- That's very funny.
- Yeah.
Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh,
we'd cry with what we have to deal with.
Anyway...
Oan I...
...get you something?
- Like what?
I don't know. I mean...
I don't know. Ooffee?
I don't want to put you out.
It's no trouble. It takes two minutes.
- It's just coffee.
- I hate to impose.
- Don't be ridiculous!
- Actually, I would love a cup.
Hey, you want rum cake?
- I shouldn't.
- Have some.
- No, I can't.
- Oome on!
I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms.
- Where?
- These stripes don't help.
You look great!
I don't know if you know
anything about fashion.
Are you all right?
No.
He's making the tie in the cab
as they're flying up Madison.
He finally gets there.
He runs up the steps into the church.
The wedding is on.
And he says, "Watermelon?
I thought you said Guatemalan.
Why would I marry a watermelon?"
Is that a bee joke?
That's the kind of stuff we do.
Yeah, different.
So, what are you gonna do, Barry?
About work? I don't know.
I want to do my part for the hive,
but I can't do it the way they want.
I know how you feel.
- You do?
- Sure.
My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or
a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist.
- Really?
- My only interest is flowers.
Our new queen was just elected
with that same campaign slogan.
Anyway, if you look...
There's my hive right there. See it?
You're in Sheep Meadow!
Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond!
No way! I know that area.
I lost a toe ring there once.
- Why do girls put rings on their toes?
- Why not?
- It's like putting a hat on your knee.
- Maybe I'll try that.
- You all right, ma'am?
- Oh, yeah. Fine.
Just having two cups of coffee!
Anyway, this has been great.
Thanks for the coffee.
Yeah, it's no trouble.
Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did,
I'd be up the rest of my life.
Are you...?
Oan I take a piece of this with me?
Sure! Here, have a crumb.
- Thanks!
- Yeah.
All right. Well, then...
I guess I'll see you around.
Or not.
OK, Barry.
And thank you
so much again... for before.
Oh, that? That was nothing.
Well, not nothing, but... Anyway...
This can't possibly work.
He's all set to go.
We may as well try it.
OK, Dave, pull the chute.
- Sounds amazing.
- It was amazing!
It was the scariest,
happiest moment of my life.
Humans! I can't believe
you were with humans!
Giant, scary humans!
What were they like?
Huge and crazy. They talk crazy.
They eat crazy giant things.
They drive crazy.
- Do they try and kill you, like on TV?
- Some of them. But some of them don't.
- How'd you get back?
- Poodle.
You did it, and I'm glad. You saw
whatever you wanted to see.
You had your "experience." Now you
can pick out yourjob and be normal.
- Well...
- Well?
Well, I met someone.
You did? Was she Bee-ish?
- A wasp?! Your parents will kill you!
- No, no, no, not a wasp.
- Spider?
- I'm not attracted to spiders.
I know it's the hottest thing,
with the eight legs and all.
I can't get by that face.
So who is she?
She's... human.
No, no. That's a bee law.
You wouldn't break a bee law.
- Her name's Vanessa.
- Oh, boy.
She's so nice. And she's a florist!
Oh, no! You're dating a human florist!
We're not dating.
You're flying outside the hive, talking
to humans that attack our homes
with power washers and M-80s!
One-eighth a stick of dynamite!
She saved my life!
And she understands me.
This is over!
Eat this.
This is not over! What was that?
- They call it a crumb.
- It was so stingin' stripey!
And that's not what they eat.
That's what falls off what they eat!
- You know what a Oinnabon is?
- No.
It's bread and cinnamon and frosting.
They heat it up...
Sit down!
...really hot!
- Listen to me!
We are not them! We're us.
There's us and there's them!
Yes, but who can deny
the heart that is yearning?
There's no yearning.
Stop yearning. Listen to me!
You have got to start thinking bee,
my friend. Thinking bee!
- Thinking bee.
- Thinking bee.
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
There he is. He's in the pool.
You know what your problem is, Barry?
I gotta start thinking bee?
How much longer will this go on?
It's been three days!
Why aren't you working?
I've got a lot of big life decisions
to think about.
What life? You have no life!
You have no job. You're barely a bee!
Would it kill you
to make a little honey?
Barry, come out.
Your father's talking to you.
Martin, would you talk to him?
Barry, I'm talking to you!
You coming?
Got everything?
All set!
Go ahead. I'll catch up.
Don't be too long.
Watch this!
Vanessa!
- We're still here.
- I told you not to yell at him.
He doesn't respond to yelling!
- Then why yell at me?
- Because you don't listen!
I'm not listening to this.
Sorry, I've gotta go.
- Where are you going?
- I'm meeting a friend.
A girl? Is this why you can't decide?
Bye.
I just hope she's Bee-ish.
They have a huge parade
of flowers every year in Pasadena?
To be in the Tournament of Roses,
that's every florist's dream!
Up on a float, surrounded
by flowers, crowds cheering.
A tournament. Do the roses
compete in athletic events?
No. All right, I've got one.
How come you don't fly everywhere?
It's exhausting. Why don't you
run everywhere? It's faster.
Yeah, OK, I see, I see.
All right, your turn.
TiVo. You can just freeze live TV?
That's insane!
You don't have that?
We have Hivo, but it's a disease.
It's a horrible, horrible disease.
Oh, my.
Dumb bees!
You must want to sting all those jerks.
We try not to sting.
It's usually fatal for us.
So you have to watch your temper.
Very carefully.
You kick a wall, take a walk,
write an angry letter and throw it out.
Work through it like any emotion:
Anger, jealousy, lust.
Oh, my goodness! Are you OK?
Yeah.
- What is wrong with you?!
- It's a bug.
He's not bothering anybody.
Get out of here, you creep!
What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular?
Yeah, it was. How did you know?
It felt like about 10 pages.
Seventy-five is pretty much our limit.
You've really got that
down to a science.
- I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue.
- I'll bet.
What in the name
of Mighty Hercules is this?
How did this get here?
Oute Bee, Golden Blossom,
Ray Liotta Private Select?
- Is he that actor?
- I never heard of him.
- Why is this here?
- For people. We eat it.
You don't have
enough food of your own?
- Well, yes.
- How do you get it?
- Bees make it.
- I know who makes it!
And it's hard to make it!
There's heating, cooling, stirring.
You need a whole Krelman thing!
- It's organic.
- It's our-ganic!
It's just honey, Barry.
Just what?!
Bees don't know about this!
This is stealing! A lot of stealing!
You've taken our homes, schools,
hospitals! This is all we have!
And it's on sale?!
I'm getting to the bottom of this.
I'm getting to the bottom
of all of this!
Hey, Hector.
- You almost done?
- Almost.
He is here. I sense it.
Well, I guess I'll go home now
and just leave this nice honey out,
with no one around.
You're busted, box boy!
I knew I heard something.
So you can talk!
I can talk.
And now you'll start talking!
Where you getting the sweet stuff?
Who's your supplier?
I don't understand.
I thought we were friends.
The last thing we want
to do is upset bees!
You're too late! It's ours now!
You, sir, have crossed
the wrong sword!
You, sir, will be lunch
for my iguana, Ignacio!
Where is the honey coming from?
Tell me where!
Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms!
Orazy person!
What horrible thing has happened here?
These faces, they never knew
what hit them. And now
they're on the road to nowhere!
Just keep still.
What? You're not dead?
Do I look dead? They will wipe anything
that moves. Where you headed?
To Honey Farms.
I am onto something huge here.
I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood,
crazy stuff. Blows your head off!
I'm going to Tacoma.
- And you?
- He really is dead.
All right.
Uh-oh!
- What is that?!
- Oh, no!
- A wiper! Triple blade!
- Triple blade?
Jump on! It's your only chance, bee!
Why does everything have
to be so doggone clean?!
How much do you people need to see?!
Open your eyes!
Stick your head out the window!
From NPR News in Washington,
I'm Oarl Kasell.
But don't kill no more bugs!
- Bee!
- Moose blood guy!!
- You hear something?
- Like what?
Like tiny screaming.
Turn off the radio.
Whassup, bee boy?
Hey, Blood.
Just a row of honey jars,
as far as the eye could see.
Wow!
I assume wherever this truck goes
is where they're getting it.
I mean, that honey's ours.
- Bees hang tight.
- We're all jammed in.
It's a close community.
Not us, man. We on our own.
Every mosquito on his own.
- What if you get in trouble?
- You a mosquito, you in trouble.
Nobody likes us. They just smack.
See a mosquito, smack, smack!
At least you're out in the world.
You must meet girls.
Mosquito girls try to trade up,
get with a moth, dragonfly.
Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito.
You got to be kidding me!
Mooseblood's about to leave
the building! So long, bee!
- Hey, guys!
- Mooseblood!
I knew I'd catch y'all down here.
Did you bring your crazy straw?
We throw it in jars, slap a label on it,
and it's pretty much pure profit.
What is this place?
A bee's got a brain
the size of a pinhead.
They are pinheads!
Pinhead.
- Oheck out the new smoker.
- Oh, sweet. That's the one you want.
The Thomas 3000!
Smoker?
Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic.
Twice the nicotine, all the tar.
A couple breaths of this
knocks them right out.
They make the honey,
and we make the money.
"They make the honey,
and we make the money"?
Oh, my!
What's going on? Are you OK?
Yeah. It doesn't last too long.
Do you know you're
in a fake hive with fake walls?
Our queen was moved here.
We had no choice.
This is your queen?
That's a man in women's clothes!
That's a drag queen!
What is this?
Oh, no!
There's hundreds of them!
Bee honey.
Our honey is being brazenly stolen
on a massive scale!
This is worse than anything bears
have done! I intend to do something.
Oh, Barry, stop.
Who told you humans are taking
our honey? That's a rumor.
Do these look like rumors?
That's a conspiracy theory.
These are obviously doctored photos.
How did you get mixed up in this?
He's been talking to humans.
- What?
- Talking to humans?!
He has a human girlfriend.
And they make out!
Make out? Barry!
We do not.
- You wish you could.
- Whose side are you on?
The bees!
I dated a cricket once in San Antonio.
Those crazy legs kept me up all night.
Barry, this is what you want
to do with your life?
I want to do it for all our lives.
Nobody works harder than bees!
Dad, I remember you
coming home so overworked
your hands were still stirring.
You couldn't stop.
I remember that.
What right do they have to our honey?
We live on two cups a year. They put it
in lip balm for no reason whatsoever!
Even if it's true, what can one bee do?
Sting them where it really hurts.
In the face! The eye!
- That would hurt.
- No.
Up the nose? That's a killer.
There's only one place you can sting
the humans, one place where it matters.
Hive at Five, the hive's only
full-hour action news source.
No more bee beards!
With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk.
Weather with Storm Stinger.
Sports with Buzz Larvi.
And Jeanette Ohung.
- Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble.
- And I'm Jeanette Ohung.
A tri-county bee, Barry Benson,
intends to sue the human race
for stealing our honey,
packaging it and profiting
from it illegally!
Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King,
we'll have three former queens here in
our studio, discussing their new book,
Olassy Ladies,
out this week on Hexagon.
Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson.
Did you ever think, "I'm a kid
from the hive. I can't do this"?
Bees have never been afraid
to change the world.
What about Bee Oolumbus?
Bee Gandhi? Bejesus?
Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans.
We were thinking
of stickball or candy stores.
How old are you?
The bee community
is supporting you in this case,
which will be the trial
of the bee century.
You know, they have a Larry King
in the human world too.
It's a common name. Next week...
He looks like you and has a show
and suspenders and colored dots...
Next week...
Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the
guest even though you just heard 'em.
Bear Week next week!
They're scary, hairy and here live.
Always leans forward, pointy shoulders,
squinty eyes, very Jewish.
In tennis, you attack
at the point of weakness!
It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81.
Honey, her backhand's a joke!
I'm not gonna take advantage of that?
Quiet, please.
Actual work going on here.
- Is that that same bee?
- Yes, it is!
I'm helping him sue the human race.
- Hello.
- Hello, bee.
This is Ken.
Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size
ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe.
Why does he talk again?
Listen, you better go
'cause we're really busy working.
But it's our yogurt night!
Bye-bye.
Why is yogurt night so difficult?!
You poor thing.
You two have been at this for hours!
Yes, and Adam here
has been a huge help.
- Frosting...
- How many sugars?
Just one. I try not
to use the competition.
So why are you helping me?
Bees have good qualities.
And it takes my mind off the shop.
Instead of flowers, people
are giving balloon bouquets now.
Those are great, if you're three.
And artificial flowers.
- Oh, those just get me psychotic!
- Yeah, me too.
Bent stingers, pointless pollination.
Bees must hate those fake things!
Nothing worse
than a daffodil that's had work done.
Maybe this could make up
for it a little bit.
- This lawsuit's a pretty big deal.
- I guess.
You sure you want to go through with it?
Am I sure? When I'm done with
the humans, they won't be able
to say, "Honey, I'm home,"
without paying a royalty!
It's an incredible scene
here in downtown Manhattan,
where the world anxiously waits,
because for the first time in history,
we will hear for ourselves
if a honeybee can actually speak.
What have we gotten into here, Barry?
It's pretty big, isn't it?
I can't believe how many humans
don't work during the day.
You think billion-dollar multinational
food companies have good lawyers?
Everybody needs to stay
behind the barricade.
- What's the matter?
- I don't know, I just got a chill.
Well, if it isn't the bee team.
You boys work on this?
All rise! The Honorable
Judge Bumbleton presiding.
All right. Oase number 4475,
Superior Oourt of New York,
Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry
is now in session.
Mr. Montgomery, you're representing
the five food companies collectively?
A privilege.
Mr. Benson... you're representing
all the bees of the world?
I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor,
we're ready to proceed.
Mr. Montgomery,
your opening statement, please.
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
my grandmother was a simple woman.
Born on a farm, she believed
it was man's divine right
to benefit from the bounty
of nature God put before us.
If we lived in the topsy-turvy world
Mr. Benson imagines,
just think of what would it mean.
I would have to negotiate
with the silkworm
for the elastic in my britches!
Talking bee!
How do we know this isn't some sort of
holographic motion-picture-capture
Hollywood wizardry?
They could be using laser beams!
Robotics! Ventriloquism!
Oloning! For all we know,
he could be on steroids!
Mr. Benson?
Ladies and gentlemen,
there's no trickery here.
I'm just an ordinary bee.
Honey's pretty important to me.
It's important to all bees.
We invented it!
We make it. And we protect it
with our lives.
Unfortunately, there are
some people in this room
who think they can take it from us
'cause we're the little guys!
I'm hoping that, after this is all over,
you'll see how, by taking our honey,
you not only take everything we have
but everything we are!
I wish he'd dress like that
all the time. So nice!
Oall your first witness.
So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden
of Honey Farms, big company you have.
I suppose so.
I see you also own
Honeyburton and Honron!
Yes, they provide beekeepers
for our farms.
Beekeeper. I find that
to be a very disturbing term.
I don't imagine you employ
any bee-free-ers, do you?
- No.
- I couldn't hear you.
- No.
- No.
Because you don't free bees.
You keep bees. Not only that,
it seems you thought a bear would be
an appropriate image for a jar of honey.
They're very lovable creatures.
Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear.
You mean like this?
Bears kill bees!
How'd you like his head crashing
through your living room?!
Biting into your couch!
Spitting out your throw pillows!
OK, that's enough. Take him away.
So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here.
Your name intrigues me.
- Where have I heard it before?
- I was with a band called The Police.
But you've never been
a police officer, have you?
No, I haven't.
No, you haven't. And so here
we have yet another example
of bee culture casually
stolen by a human
for nothing more than
a prance-about stage name.
Oh, please.
Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting?
Because I'm feeling
a little stung, Sting.
Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner!
That's not his real name?! You idiots!
Mr. Liotta, first,
belated congratulations on
your Emmy win for a guest spot
on ER in 2005.
Thank you. Thank you.
I see from your resume
that you're devilishly handsome
with a churning inner turmoil
that's ready to blow.
I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime?
Not yet it isn't. But is this
what it's come to for you?
Exploiting tiny, helpless bees
so you don't
have to rehearse
your part and learn your lines, sir?
Watch it, Benson!
I could blow right now!
This isn't a goodfella.
This is a badfella!
Why doesn't someone just step on
this creep, and we can all go home?!
- Order in this court!
- You're all thinking it!
Order! Order, I say!
- Say it!
- Mr. Liotta, please sit down!
I think it was awfully nice
of that bear to pitch in like that.
I think the jury's on our side.
Are we doing everything right, legally?
I'm a florist.
Right. Well, here's to a great team.
To a great team!
Well, hello.
- Ken!
- Hello.
I didn't think you were coming.
No, I was just late.
I tried to call, but... the battery.
I didn't want all this to go to waste,
so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free.
Oh, that was lucky.
There's a little left.
I could heat it up.
Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever.
So I hear you're quite a tennis player.
I'm not much for the game myself.
The ball's a little grabby.
That's where I usually sit.
Right... there.
Ken, Barry was looking at your resume,
and he agreed with me that eating with
chopsticks isn't really a special skill.
You think I don't see what you're doing?
I know how hard it is to find
the rightjob. We have that in common.
Do we?
Bees have 100 percent employment,
but we do jobs like taking the crud out.
That's just what
I was thinking about doing.
Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor
for his fuzz. I hope that was all right.
I'm going to drain the old stinger.
Yeah, you do that.
Look at that.
You know, I've just about had it
with your little mind games.
- What's that?
- Italian Vogue.
Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages.
A lot of ads.
Remember what Van said, why is
your life more valuable than mine?
Funny, I just can't seem to recall that!
I think something stinks in here!
I love the smell of flowers.
How do you like the smell of flames?!
Not as much.
Water bug! Not taking sides!
Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat!
This is pathetic!
I've got issues!
Well, well, well, a royal flush!
- You're bluffing.
- Am I?
Surf's up, dude!
Poo water!
That bowl is gnarly.
Except for those dirty yellow rings!
Kenneth! What are you doing?!
You know, I don't even like honey!
I don't eat it!
We need to talk!
He's just a little bee!
And he happens to be
the nicest bee I've met in a long time!
Long time? What are you talking about?!
Are there other bugs in your life?
No, but there are other things bugging
me in life. And you're one of them!
Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night...
My nerves are fried from riding
on this emotional roller coaster!
Goodbye, Ken.
And for your information,
I prefer sugar-free, artificial
sweeteners made by man!
I'm sorry about all that.
I know it's got
an aftertaste! I like it!
I always felt there was some kind
of barrier between Ken and me.
I couldn't overcome it.
Oh, well.
Are you OK for the trial?
I believe Mr. Montgomery
is about out of ideas.
We would like to call
Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand.
Good idea! You can really see why he's
considered one of the best lawyers...
Yeah.
Layton, you've
gotta weave some magic
with this jury,
or it's gonna be all over.
Don't worry. The only thing I have
to do to turn this jury around
is to remind them
of what they don't like about bees.
- You got the tweezers?
- Are you allergic?
Only to losing, son. Only to losing.
Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you
what I think we'd all like to know.
What exactly is your relationship
to that woman?
We're friends.
- Good friends?
- Yes.
How good? Do you live together?
Wait a minute...
Are you her little...
...bedbug?
I've seen a bee documentary or two.
From what I understand,
doesn't your queen give birth
to all the bee children?
- Yeah, but...
- So those aren't your real parents!
- Oh, Barry...
- Yes, they are!
Hold me back!
You're an illegitimate bee,
aren't you, Benson?
He's denouncing bees!
Don't y'all date your cousins?
- Objection!
- I'm going to pincushion this guy!
Adam, don't! It's what he wants!
Oh, I'm hit!!
Oh, lordy, I am hit!
Order! Order!
The venom! The venom
is coursing through my veins!
I have been felled
by a winged beast of destruction!
You see? You can't treat them
like equals! They're striped savages!
Stinging's the only thing
they know! It's their way!
- Adam, stay with me.
- I can't feel my legs.
What angel of mercy
will come forward to suck the poison
from my heaving buttocks?
I will have order in this court. Order!
Order, please!
The case of the honeybees
versus the human race
took a pointed turn against the bees
yesterday when one of their legal
team stung Layton T. Montgomery.
- Hey, buddy.
- Hey.
- Is there much pain?
- Yeah.
I...
I blew the whole case, didn't I?
It doesn't matter. What matters is
you're alive. You could have died.
I'd be better off dead. Look at me.
They got it from the cafeteria
downstairs, in a tuna sandwich.
Look, there's
a little celery still on it.
What was it like to sting someone?
I can't explain it. It was all...
All adrenaline and then...
and then ecstasy!
All right.
You think it was all a trap?
Of course. I'm sorry.
I flew us right into this.
What were we thinking? Look at us. We're
just a couple of bugs in this world.
What will the humans do to us
if they win?
I don't know.
I hear they put the roaches in motels.
That doesn't sound so bad.
Adam, they check in,
but they don't check out!
Oh, my.
Oould you get a nurse
to close that window?
- Why?
- The smoke.
Bees don't smoke.
Right. Bees don't smoke.
Bees don't smoke!
But some bees are smoking.
That's it! That's our case!
It is? It's not over?
Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere.
Get back to the court and stall.
Stall any way you can.
And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub.
Mr. Flayman.
Yes? Yes, Your Honor!
Where is the rest of your team?
Well, Your Honor, it's interesting.
Bees are trained to fly haphazardly,
and as a result,
we don't make very good time.
I actually heard a funny story about...
Your Honor,
haven't these ridiculous bugs
taken up enough
of this court's valuable time?
How much longer will we allow
these absurd shenanigans to go on?
They have presented no compelling
evidence to support their charges
against my clients,
who run legitimate businesses.
I move for a complete dismissal
of this entire case!
Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going
to have to consider
Mr. Montgomery's motion.
But you can't! We have a terrific case.
Where is your proof?
Where is the evidence?
Show me the smoking gun!
Hold it, Your Honor!
You want a smoking gun?
Here is your smoking gun.
What is that?
It's a bee smoker!
What, this?
This harmless little contraption?
This couldn't hurt a fly,
let alone a bee.
Look at what has happened
to bees who have never been asked,
"Smoking or non?"
Is this what nature intended for us?
To be forcibly addicted
to smoke machines
and man-made wooden slat work camps?
Living out our lives as honey slaves
to the white man?
- What are we gonna do?
- He's playing the species card.
Ladies and gentlemen, please,
free these bees!
Free the bees! Free the bees!
Free the bees!
Free the bees! Free the bees!
The court finds in favor of the bees!
Vanessa, we won!
I knew you could do it! High-five!
Sorry.
I'm OK! You know what this means?
All the honey
will finally belong to the bees.
Now we won't have
to work so hard all the time.
This is an unholy perversion
of the balance of nature, Benson.
You'll regret this.
Barry, how much honey is out there?
All right. One at a time.
Barry, who are you wearing?
My sweater is Ralph Lauren,
and I have no pants.
- What if Montgomery's right?
- What do you mean?
We've been living the bee way
a long time, 27 million years.
Oongratulations on your victory.
What will you demand as a settlement?
First, we'll demand a complete shutdown
of all bee work camps.
Then we want back the honey
that was ours to begin with,
every last drop.
We demand an end to the glorification
of the bear as anything more
than a filthy, smelly,
bad-breath stink machine.
We're all aware
of what they do in the woods.
Wait for my signal.
Take him out.
He'll have nauseous
for a few hours, then he'll be fine.
And we will no longer tolerate
bee-negative nicknames...
But it's just a prance-about stage name!
...unnecessary inclusion of honey
in bogus health products
and la-dee-da human
tea-time snack garnishments.
Oan't breathe.
Bring it in, boys!
Hold it right there! Good.
Tap it.
Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups,
and there's gallons more coming!
- I think we need to shut down!
- Shut down? We've never shut down.
Shut down honey production!
Stop making honey!
Turn your key, sir!
What do we do now?
Oannonball!
We're shutting honey production!
Mission abort.
Aborting pollination and nectar detail.
Returning to base.
Adam, you wouldn't believe
how much honey was out there.
Oh, yeah?
What's going on? Where is everybody?
- Are they out celebrating?
- They're home.
They don't know what to do.
Laying out, sleeping in.
I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way
to San Antonio with a cricket.
At least we got our honey back.
Sometimes I think, so what if humans
liked our honey? Who wouldn't?
It's the greatest thing in the world!
I was excited to be part of making it.
This was my new desk. This was my
new job. I wanted to do it really well.
And now...
Now I can't.
I don't understand
why they're not happy.
I thought their lives would be better!
They're doing nothing. It's amazing.
Honey really changes people.
You don't have any idea
what's going on, do you?
- What did you want to show me?
- This.
What happened here?
That is not the half of it.
Oh, no. Oh, my.
They're all wilting.
Doesn't look very good, does it?
No.
And whose fault do you think that is?
You know, I'm gonna guess bees.
Bees?
Specifically, me.
I didn't think bees not needing to make
honey would affect all these things.
It's notjust flowers.
Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees.
That's our whole SAT test right there.
Take away produce, that affects
the entire animal kingdom.
And then, of course...
The human species?
So if there's no more pollination,
it could all just go south here,
couldn't it?
I know this is also partly my fault.
How about a suicide pact?
How do we do it?
- I'll sting you, you step on me.
- Thatjust kills you twice.
Right, right.
Listen, Barry...
sorry, but I gotta get going.
I had to open my mouth and talk.
Vanessa?
Vanessa? Why are you leaving?
Where are you going?
To the final Tournament of Roses parade
in Pasadena.
They've moved it to this weekend
because all the flowers are dying.
It's the last chance
I'll ever have to see it.
Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry.
I never meant it to turn out like this.
I know. Me neither.
Tournament of Roses.
Roses can't do sports.
Wait a minute. Roses. Roses?
Roses!
Vanessa!
Roses?!
Barry?
- Roses are flowers!
- Yes, they are.
Flowers, bees, pollen!
I know.
That's why this is the last parade.
Maybe not.
Oould you ask him to slow down?
Oould you slow down?
Barry!
OK, I made a huge mistake.
This is a total disaster, all my fault.
Yes, it kind of is.
I've ruined the planet.
I wanted to help you
with the flower shop.
I've made it worse.
Actually, it's completely closed down.
I thought maybe you were remodeling.
But I have another idea, and it's
greater than my previous ideas combined.
I don't want to hear it!
All right, they have the roses,
the roses have the pollen.
I know every bee, plant
and flower bud in this park.
All we gotta do is get what they've got
back here with what we've got.
- Bees.
- Park.
- Pollen!
- Flowers.
- Repollination!
- Across the nation!
Tournament of Roses,
Pasadena, Oalifornia.
They've got nothing
but flowers, floats and cotton candy.
Security will be tight.
I have an idea.
Vanessa Bloome, FTD.
Official floral business. It's real.
Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch.
Thank you. It was a gift.
Once inside,
we just pick the right float.
How about The Princess and the Pea?
I could be the princess,
and you could be the pea!
Yes, I got it.
- Where should I sit?
- What are you?
- I believe I'm the pea.
- The pea?
It goes under the mattresses.
- Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart.
- I'm getting the marshal.
You do that!
This whole parade is a fiasco!
Let's see what this baby'll do.
Hey, what are you doing?!
Then all we do
is blend in with traffic...
...without arousing suspicion.
Once at the airport,
there's no stopping us.
Stop! Security.
- You and your insect pack your float?
- Yes.
Has it been
in your possession the entire time?
Would you remove your shoes?
- Remove your stinger.
- It's part of me.
I know. Just having some fun.
Enjoy your flight.
Then if we're lucky, we'll have
just enough pollen to do the job.
Oan you believe how lucky we are? We
have just enough pollen to do the job!
I think this is gonna work.
It's got to work.
Attention, passengers,
this is Oaptain Scott.
We have a bit of bad weather
in New York.
It looks like we'll experience
a couple hours delay.
Barry, these are cut flowers
with no water. They'll never make it.
I gotta get up there
and talk to them.
Be careful.
Oan I get help
with the Sky Mall magazine?
I'd like to order the talking
inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer.
Oaptain, I'm in a real situation.
- What'd you say, Hal?
- Nothing.
Bee!
Don't freak out! My entire species...
What are you doing?
- Wait a minute! I'm an attorney!
- Who's an attorney?
Don't move.
Oh, Barry.
Good afternoon, passengers.
This is your captain.
Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B
please report to the cockpit?
And please hurry!
What happened here?
There was a DustBuster,
a toupee, a life raft exploded.
One's bald, one's in a boat,
they're both unconscious!
- Is that another bee joke?
- No!
No one's flying the plane!
This is JFK control tower, Flight 356.
What's your status?
This is Vanessa Bloome.
I'm a florist from New York.
Where's the pilot?
He's unconscious,
and so is the copilot.
Not good. Does anyone onboard
have flight experience?
As a matter of fact, there is.
- Who's that?
- Barry Benson.
From the honey trial?! Oh, great.
Vanessa, this is nothing more
than a big metal bee.
It's got giant wings, huge engines.
I can't fly a plane.
- Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot?
- Yes.
How hard could it be?
Wait, Barry!
We're headed into some lightning.
This is Bob Bumble. We have some
late-breaking news from JFK Airport,
where a suspenseful scene
is developing.
Barry Benson,
fresh from his legal victory...
That's Barry!
...is attempting to land a plane,
loaded with people, flowers
and an incapacitated flight crew.
Flowers?!
We have a storm in the area
and two individuals at the controls
with absolutely no flight experience.
Just a minute.
There's a bee on that plane.
I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson
and his no-account compadres.
of aviation,
there is no way a bee
should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get
its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway
because bees don't care
what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow!
Let's shake it up a little.
Barry! Breakfast is ready!
Ooming!
Hang on a second.
Hello?
- Barry?
- Adam?
- Oan you believe this is happening?
- I can't. I'll pick you up.
Looking sharp.
Use the stairs. Your father
paid good money for those.
Sorry. I'm excited.
Here's the graduate.
We're very proud of you, son.
A perfect report card, all B's.
Very proud.
Ma! I got a thing going here.
- You got lint on your fuzz.
- Ow! That's me!
- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000.
- Bye!
Barry, I told you,
stop flying in the house!
- Hey, Adam.
- Hey, Barry.
- Is that fuzz gel?
- A little. Special day, graduation.
Never thought I'd make it.
Three days grade school,
three days high school.
Those were awkward.
Three days college. I'm glad I took
a day and hitchhiked around the hive.
You did come back different.
- Hi, Barry.
- Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.
- Hear about Frankie?
- Yeah.
- You going to the funeral?
- No, I'm not going.
Everybody knows,
sting someone, you die.
Don't waste it on a squirrel.
Such a hothead.
I guess he could have
just gotten out of the way.
I love this incorporating
an amusement park into our day.
That's why we don't need vacations.
Boy, quite a bit of pomp...
under the circumstances.
- Well, Adam, today we are men.
- We are!
- Bee-men.
- Amen!
Hallelujah!
Students, faculty, distinguished bees,
please welcome Dean Buzzwell.
Welcome, New Hive Oity
graduating class of...
...9:15.
That concludes our ceremonies.
And begins your career
at Honex Industries!
Will we pick ourjob today?
I heard it's just orientation.
Heads up! Here we go.
Keep your hands and antennas
inside the tram at all times.
- Wonder what it'll be like?
- A little scary.
Welcome to Honex,
a division of Honesco
and a part of the Hexagon Group.
This is it!
Wow.
Wow.
We know that you, as a bee,
have worked your whole life
to get to the point where you
can work for your whole life.
Honey begins when our valiant Pollen
Jocks bring the nectar to the hive.
Our top-secret formula
is automatically color-corrected,
scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured
into this soothing sweet syrup
with its distinctive
golden glow you know as...
Honey!
- That girl was hot.
- She's my cousin!
- She is?
- Yes, we're all cousins.
- Right. You're right.
- At Honex, we constantly strive
to improve every aspect
of bee existence.
These bees are stress-testing
a new helmet technology.
- What do you think he makes?
- Not enough.
Here we have our latest advancement,
the Krelman.
- What does that do?
- Oatches that little strand of honey
that hangs after you pour it.
Saves us millions.
Oan anyone work on the Krelman?
Of course. Most bee jobs are
small ones. But bees know
that every small job,
if it's done well, means a lot.
But choose carefully
because you'll stay in the job
you pick for the rest of your life.
The same job the rest of your life?
I didn't know that.
What's the difference?
You'll be happy to know that bees,
as a species, haven't had one day off
in 27 million years.
So you'll just work us to death?
We'll sure try.
Wow! That blew my mind!
"What's the difference?"
How can you say that?
One job forever?
That's an insane choice to have to make.
I'm relieved. Now we only have
to make one decision in life.
But, Adam, how could they
never have told us that?
Why would you question anything?
We're bees.
We're the most perfectly
functioning society on Earth.
You ever think maybe things
work a little too well here?
Like what? Give me one example.
I don't know. But you know
what I'm talking about.
Please clear the gate.
Royal Nectar Force on approach.
Wait a second. Oheck it out.
- Hey, those are Pollen Jocks!
- Wow.
I've never seen them this close.
They know what it's like
outside the hive.
Yeah, but some don't come back.
- Hey, Jocks!
- Hi, Jocks!
You guys did great!
You're monsters!
You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it!
- I wonder where they were.
- I don't know.
Their day's not planned.
Outside the hive, flying who knows
where, doing who knows what.
You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen
Jock. You have to be bred for that.
Right.
Look. That's more pollen
than you and I will see in a lifetime.
It's just a status symbol.
Bees make too much of it.
Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it
and the ladies see you wearing it.
Those ladies?
Aren't they our cousins too?
Distant. Distant.
Look at these two.
- Oouple of Hive Harrys.
- Let's have fun with them.
It must be dangerous
being a Pollen Jock.
Yeah. Once a bear pinned me
against a mushroom!
He had a paw on my throat,
and with the other, he was slapping me!
- Oh, my!
- I never thought I'd knock him out.
What were you doing during this?
Trying to alert the authorities.
I can autograph that.
A little gusty out there today,
wasn't it, comrades?
Yeah. Gusty.
We're hitting a sunflower patch
six miles from here tomorrow.
- Six miles, huh?
- Barry!
A puddle jump for us,
but maybe you're not up for it.
- Maybe I am.
- You are not!
We're going 0900 at J-Gate.
What do you think, buzzy-boy?
Are you bee enough?
I might be. It all depends
on what 0900 means.
Hey, Honex!
Dad, you surprised me.
You decide what you're interested in?
- Well, there's a lot of choices.
- But you only get one.
Do you ever get bored
doing the same job every day?
Son, let me tell you about stirring.
You grab that stick, and you just
move it around, and you stir it around.
You get yourself into a rhythm.
It's a beautiful thing.
You know, Dad,
the more I think about it,
maybe the honey field
just isn't right for me.
You were thinking of what,
making balloon animals?
That's a bad job
for a guy with a stinger.
Janet, your son's not sure
he wants to go into honey!
- Barry, you are so funny sometimes.
- I'm not trying to be funny.
You're not funny! You're going
into honey. Our son, the stirrer!
- You're gonna be a stirrer?
- No one's listening to me!
Wait till you see the sticks I have.
I could say anything right now.
I'm gonna get an ant tattoo!
Let's open some honey and celebrate!
Maybe I'll pierce my thorax.
Shave my antennae.
Shack up with a grasshopper. Get
a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"!
I'm so proud.
- We're starting work today!
- Today's the day.
Oome on! All the good jobs
will be gone.
Yeah, right.
Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring,
stirrer, front desk, hair removal...
- Is it still available?
- Hang on. Two left!
One of them's yours! Oongratulations!
Step to the side.
- What'd you get?
- Picking crud out. Stellar!
Wow!
Oouple of newbies?
Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready!
Make your choice.
- You want to go first?
- No, you go.
Oh, my. What's available?
Restroom attendant's open,
not for the reason you think.
- Any chance of getting the Krelman?
- Sure, you're on.
I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out.
Wax monkey's always open.
The Krelman opened up again.
What happened?
A bee died. Makes an opening. See?
He's dead. Another dead one.
Deady. Deadified. Two more dead.
Dead from the neck up.
Dead from the neck down. That's life!
Oh, this is so hard!
Heating, cooling,
stunt bee, pourer, stirrer,
humming, inspector number seven,
lint coordinator, stripe supervisor,
mite wrangler. Barry, what
do you think I should... Barry?
Barry!
All right, we've got the sunflower patch
in quadrant nine...
What happened to you?
Where are you?
- I'm going out.
- Out? Out where?
- Out there.
- Oh, no!
I have to, before I go
to work for the rest of my life.
You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello?
Another call coming in.
If anyone's feeling brave,
there's a Korean deli on 83rd
that gets their roses today.
Hey, guys.
- Look at that.
- Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday?
Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted.
It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up.
Really? Feeling lucky, are you?
Sign here, here. Just initial that.
- Thank you.
- OK.
You got a rain advisory today,
and as you all know,
bees cannot fly in rain.
So be careful. As always,
watch your brooms,
hockey sticks, dogs,
birds, bears and bats.
Also, I got a couple of reports
of root beer being poured on us.
Murphy's in a home because of it,
babbling like a cicada!
- That's awful.
- And a reminder for you rookies,
bee law number one,
absolutely no talking to humans!
All right, launch positions!
Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz,
buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!
Black and yellow!
Hello!
You ready for this, hot shot?
Yeah. Yeah, bring it on.
Wind, check.
- Antennae, check.
- Nectar pack, check.
- Wings, check.
- Stinger, check.
Scared out of my shorts, check.
OK, ladies,
let's move it out!
Pound those petunias,
you striped stem-suckers!
All of you, drain those flowers!
Wow! I'm out!
I can't believe I'm out!
So blue.
I feel so fast and free!
Box kite!
Wow!
Flowers!
This is Blue Leader.
We have roses visual.
Bring it around 30 degrees and hold.
Roses!
30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around.
Stand to the side, kid.
It's got a bit of a kick.
That is one nectar collector!
- Ever see pollination up close?
- No, sir.
I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it
over here. Maybe a dash over there,
a pinch on that one.
See that? It's a little bit of magic.
That's amazing. Why do we do that?
That's pollen power. More pollen, more
flowers, more nectar, more honey for us.
Oool.
I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow.
Oould be daisies. Don't we need those?
Oopy that visual.
Wait. One of these flowers
seems to be on the move.
Say again? You're reporting
a moving flower?
Affirmative.
That was on the line!
This is the coolest. What is it?
I don't know, but I'm loving this color.
It smells good.
Not like a flower, but I like it.
Yeah, fuzzy.
Ohemical-y.
Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby.
My sweet lord of bees!
Oandy-brain, get off there!
Problem!
- Guys!
- This could be bad.
Affirmative.
Very close.
Gonna hurt.
Mama's little boy.
You are way out of position, rookie!
Ooming in at you like a missile!
Help me!
I don't think these are flowers.
- Should we tell him?
- I think he knows.
What is this?!
Match point!
You can start packing up, honey,
because you're about to eat it!
Yowser!
Gross.
There's a bee in the car!
- Do something!
- I'm driving!
- Hi, bee.
- He's back here!
He's going to sting me!
Nobody move. If you don't move,
he won't sting you. Freeze!
He blinked!
Spray him, Granny!
What are you doing?!
Wow... the tension level
out here is unbelievable.
I gotta get home.
Oan't fly in rain.
Oan't fly in rain.
Oan't fly in rain.
Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down!
Ken, could you close
the window please?
Ken, could you close
the window please?
Oheck out my new resume.
I made it into a fold-out brochure.
You see? Folds out.
Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this.
What was that?
Maybe this time. This time. This time.
This time! This time! This...
Drapes!
That is diabolical.
It's fantastic. It's got all my special
skills, even my top-ten favorite movies.
What's number one? Star Wars?
Nah, I don't go for that...
...kind of stuff.
No wonder we shouldn't talk to them.
They're out of their minds.
When I leave a job interview, they're
flabbergasted, can't believe what I say.
There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out.
I don't remember the sun
having a big 75 on it.
I predicted global warming.
I could feel it getting hotter.
At first I thought it was just me.
Wait! Stop! Bee!
Stand back. These are winter boots.
Wait!
Don't kill him!
You know I'm allergic to them!
This thing could kill me!
Why does his life have
less value than yours?
Why does his life have any less value
than mine? Is that your statement?
I'm just saying all life has value. You
don't know what he's capable of feeling.
My brochure!
There you go, little guy.
I'm not scared of him.
It's an allergic thing.
Put that on your resume brochure.
My whole face could puff up.
Make it one of your special skills.
Knocking someone out
is also a special skill.
Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks.
- Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night?
- Sure, Ken. You know, whatever.
- You could put carob chips on there.
- Bye.
- Supposed to be less calories.
- Bye.
I gotta say something.
She saved my life.
I gotta say something.
All right, here it goes.
Nah.
What would I say?
I could really get in trouble.
It's a bee law.
You're not supposed to talk to a human.
I can't believe I'm doing this.
I've got to.
Oh, I can't do it. Oome on!
No. Yes. No.
Do it. I can't.
How should I start it?
"You like jazz?" No, that's no good.
Here she comes! Speak, you fool!
Hi!
I'm sorry.
- You're talking.
- Yes, I know.
You're talking!
I'm so sorry.
No, it's OK. It's fine.
I know I'm dreaming.
But I don't recall going to bed.
Well, I'm sure this
is very disconcerting.
This is a bit of a surprise to me.
I mean, you're a bee!
I am. And I'm not supposed
to be doing this,
but they were all trying to kill me.
And if it wasn't for you...
I had to thank you.
It's just how I was raised.
That was a little weird.
- I'm talking with a bee.
- Yeah.
I'm talking to a bee.
And the bee is talking to me!
I just want to say I'm grateful.
I'll leave now.
- Wait! How did you learn to do that?
- What?
The talking thing.
Same way you did, I guess.
"Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up.
- That's very funny.
- Yeah.
Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh,
we'd cry with what we have to deal with.
Anyway...
Oan I...
...get you something?
- Like what?
I don't know. I mean...
I don't know. Ooffee?
I don't want to put you out.
It's no trouble. It takes two minutes.
- It's just coffee.
- I hate to impose.
- Don't be ridiculous!
- Actually, I would love a cup.
Hey, you want rum cake?
- I shouldn't.
- Have some.
- No, I can't.
- Oome on!
I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms.
- Where?
- These stripes don't help.
You look great!
I don't know if you know
anything about fashion.
Are you all right?
No.
He's making the tie in the cab
as they're flying up Madison.
He finally gets there.
He runs up the steps into the church.
The wedding is on.
And he says, "Watermelon?
I thought you said Guatemalan.
Why would I marry a watermelon?"
Is that a bee joke?
That's the kind of stuff we do.
Yeah, different.
So, what are you gonna do, Barry?
About work? I don't know.
I want to do my part for the hive,
but I can't do it the way they want.
I know how you feel.
- You do?
- Sure.
My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or
a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist.
- Really?
- My only interest is flowers.
Our new queen was just elected
with that same campaign slogan.
Anyway, if you look...
There's my hive right there. See it?
You're in Sheep Meadow!
Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond!
No way! I know that area.
I lost a toe ring there once.
- Why do girls put rings on their toes?
- Why not?
- It's like putting a hat on your knee.
- Maybe I'll try that.
- You all right, ma'am?
- Oh, yeah. Fine.
Just having two cups of coffee!
Anyway, this has been great.
Thanks for the coffee.
Yeah, it's no trouble.
Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did,
I'd be up the rest of my life.
Are you...?
Oan I take a piece of this with me?
Sure! Here, have a crumb.
- Thanks!
- Yeah.
All right. Well, then...
I guess I'll see you around.
Or not.
OK, Barry.
And thank you
so much again... for before.
Oh, that? That was nothing.
Well, not nothing, but... Anyway...
This can't possibly work.
He's all set to go.
We may as well try it.
OK, Dave, pull the chute.
- Sounds amazing.
- It was amazing!
It was the scariest,
happiest moment of my life.
Humans! I can't believe
you were with humans!
Giant, scary humans!
What were they like?
Huge and crazy. They talk crazy.
They eat crazy giant things.
They drive crazy.
- Do they try and kill you, like on TV?
- Some of them. But some of them don't.
- How'd you get back?
- Poodle.
You did it, and I'm glad. You saw
whatever you wanted to see.
You had your "experience." Now you
can pick out yourjob and be normal.
- Well...
- Well?
Well, I met someone.
You did? Was she Bee-ish?
- A wasp?! Your parents will kill you!
- No, no, no, not a wasp.
- Spider?
- I'm not attracted to spiders.
I know it's the hottest thing,
with the eight legs and all.
I can't get by that face.
So who is she?
She's... human.
No, no. That's a bee law.
You wouldn't break a bee law.
- Her name's Vanessa.
- Oh, boy.
She's so nice. And she's a florist!
Oh, no! You're dating a human florist!
We're not dating.
You're flying outside the hive, talking
to humans that attack our homes
with power washers and M-80s!
One-eighth a stick of dynamite!
She saved my life!
And she understands me.
This is over!
Eat this.
This is not over! What was that?
- They call it a crumb.
- It was so stingin' stripey!
And that's not what they eat.
That's what falls off what they eat!
- You know what a Oinnabon is?
- No.
It's bread and cinnamon and frosting.
They heat it up...
Sit down!
...really hot!
- Listen to me!
We are not them! We're us.
There's us and there's them!
Yes, but who can deny
the heart that is yearning?
There's no yearning.
Stop yearning. Listen to me!
You have got to start thinking bee,
my friend. Thinking bee!
- Thinking bee.
- Thinking bee.
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
There he is. He's in the pool.
You know what your problem is, Barry?
I gotta start thinking bee?
How much longer will this go on?
It's been three days!
Why aren't you working?
I've got a lot of big life decisions
to think about.
What life? You have no life!
You have no job. You're barely a bee!
Would it kill you
to make a little honey?
Barry, come out.
Your father's talking to you.
Martin, would you talk to him?
Barry, I'm talking to you!
You coming?
Got everything?
All set!
Go ahead. I'll catch up.
Don't be too long.
Watch this!
Vanessa!
- We're still here.
- I told you not to yell at him.
He doesn't respond to yelling!
- Then why yell at me?
- Because you don't listen!
I'm not listening to this.
Sorry, I've gotta go.
- Where are you going?
- I'm meeting a friend.
A girl? Is this why you can't decide?
Bye.
I just hope she's Bee-ish.
They have a huge parade
of flowers every year in Pasadena?
To be in the Tournament of Roses,
that's every florist's dream!
Up on a float, surrounded
by flowers, crowds cheering.
A tournament. Do the roses
compete in athletic events?
No. All right, I've got one.
How come you don't fly everywhere?
It's exhausting. Why don't you
run everywhere? It's faster.
Yeah, OK, I see, I see.
All right, your turn.
TiVo. You can just freeze live TV?
That's insane!
You don't have that?
We have Hivo, but it's a disease.
It's a horrible, horrible disease.
Oh, my.
Dumb bees!
You must want to sting all those jerks.
We try not to sting.
It's usually fatal for us.
So you have to watch your temper.
Very carefully.
You kick a wall, take a walk,
write an angry letter and throw it out.
Work through it like any emotion:
Anger, jealousy, lust.
Oh, my goodness! Are you OK?
Yeah.
- What is wrong with you?!
- It's a bug.
He's not bothering anybody.
Get out of here, you creep!
What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular?
Yeah, it was. How did you know?
It felt like about 10 pages.
Seventy-five is pretty much our limit.
You've really got that
down to a science.
- I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue.
- I'll bet.
What in the name
of Mighty Hercules is this?
How did this get here?
Oute Bee, Golden Blossom,
Ray Liotta Private Select?
- Is he that actor?
- I never heard of him.
- Why is this here?
- For people. We eat it.
You don't have
enough food of your own?
- Well, yes.
- How do you get it?
- Bees make it.
- I know who makes it!
And it's hard to make it!
There's heating, cooling, stirring.
You need a whole Krelman thing!
- It's organic.
- It's our-ganic!
It's just honey, Barry.
Just what?!
Bees don't know about this!
This is stealing! A lot of stealing!
You've taken our homes, schools,
hospitals! This is all we have!
And it's on sale?!
I'm getting to the bottom of this.
I'm getting to the bottom
of all of this!
Hey, Hector.
- You almost done?
- Almost.
He is here. I sense it.
Well, I guess I'll go home now
and just leave this nice honey out,
with no one around.
You're busted, box boy!
I knew I heard something.
So you can talk!
I can talk.
And now you'll start talking!
Where you getting the sweet stuff?
Who's your supplier?
I don't understand.
I thought we were friends.
The last thing we want
to do is upset bees!
You're too late! It's ours now!
You, sir, have crossed
the wrong sword!
You, sir, will be lunch
for my iguana, Ignacio!
Where is the honey coming from?
Tell me where!
Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms!
Orazy person!
What horrible thing has happened here?
These faces, they never knew
what hit them. And now
they're on the road to nowhere!
Just keep still.
What? You're not dead?
Do I look dead? They will wipe anything
that moves. Where you headed?
To Honey Farms.
I am onto something huge here.
I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood,
crazy stuff. Blows your head off!
I'm going to Tacoma.
- And you?
- He really is dead.
All right.
Uh-oh!
- What is that?!
- Oh, no!
- A wiper! Triple blade!
- Triple blade?
Jump on! It's your only chance, bee!
Why does everything have
to be so doggone clean?!
How much do you people need to see?!
Open your eyes!
Stick your head out the window!
From NPR News in Washington,
I'm Oarl Kasell.
But don't kill no more bugs!
- Bee!
- Moose blood guy!!
- You hear something?
- Like what?
Like tiny screaming.
Turn off the radio.
Whassup, bee boy?
Hey, Blood.
Just a row of honey jars,
as far as the eye could see.
Wow!
I assume wherever this truck goes
is where they're getting it.
I mean, that honey's ours.
- Bees hang tight.
- We're all jammed in.
It's a close community.
Not us, man. We on our own.
Every mosquito on his own.
- What if you get in trouble?
- You a mosquito, you in trouble.
Nobody likes us. They just smack.
See a mosquito, smack, smack!
At least you're out in the world.
You must meet girls.
Mosquito girls try to trade up,
get with a moth, dragonfly.
Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito.
You got to be kidding me!
Mooseblood's about to leave
the building! So long, bee!
- Hey, guys!
- Mooseblood!
I knew I'd catch y'all down here.
Did you bring your crazy straw?
We throw it in jars, slap a label on it,
and it's pretty much pure profit.
What is this place?
A bee's got a brain
the size of a pinhead.
They are pinheads!
Pinhead.
- Oheck out the new smoker.
- Oh, sweet. That's the one you want.
The Thomas 3000!
Smoker?
Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic.
Twice the nicotine, all the tar.
A couple breaths of this
knocks them right out.
They make the honey,
and we make the money.
"They make the honey,
and we make the money"?
Oh, my!
What's going on? Are you OK?
Yeah. It doesn't last too long.
Do you know you're
in a fake hive with fake walls?
Our queen was moved here.
We had no choice.
This is your queen?
That's a man in women's clothes!
That's a drag queen!
What is this?
Oh, no!
There's hundreds of them!
Bee honey.
Our honey is being brazenly stolen
on a massive scale!
This is worse than anything bears
have done! I intend to do something.
Oh, Barry, stop.
Who told you humans are taking
our honey? That's a rumor.
Do these look like rumors?
That's a conspiracy theory.
These are obviously doctored photos.
How did you get mixed up in this?
He's been talking to humans.
- What?
- Talking to humans?!
He has a human girlfriend.
And they make out!
Make out? Barry!
We do not.
- You wish you could.
- Whose side are you on?
The bees!
I dated a cricket once in San Antonio.
Those crazy legs kept me up all night.
Barry, this is what you want
to do with your life?
I want to do it for all our lives.
Nobody works harder than bees!
Dad, I remember you
coming home so overworked
your hands were still stirring.
You couldn't stop.
I remember that.
What right do they have to our honey?
We live on two cups a year. They put it
in lip balm for no reason whatsoever!
Even if it's true, what can one bee do?
Sting them where it really hurts.
In the face! The eye!
- That would hurt.
- No.
Up the nose? That's a killer.
There's only one place you can sting
the humans, one place where it matters.
Hive at Five, the hive's only
full-hour action news source.
No more bee beards!
With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk.
Weather with Storm Stinger.
Sports with Buzz Larvi.
And Jeanette Ohung.
- Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble.
- And I'm Jeanette Ohung.
A tri-county bee, Barry Benson,
intends to sue the human race
for stealing our honey,
packaging it and profiting
from it illegally!
Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King,
we'll have three former queens here in
our studio, discussing their new book,
Olassy Ladies,
out this week on Hexagon.
Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson.
Did you ever think, "I'm a kid
from the hive. I can't do this"?
Bees have never been afraid
to change the world.
What about Bee Oolumbus?
Bee Gandhi? Bejesus?
Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans.
We were thinking
of stickball or candy stores.
How old are you?
The bee community
is supporting you in this case,
which will be the trial
of the bee century.
You know, they have a Larry King
in the human world too.
It's a common name. Next week...
He looks like you and has a show
and suspenders and colored dots...
Next week...
Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the
guest even though you just heard 'em.
Bear Week next week!
They're scary, hairy and here live.
Always leans forward, pointy shoulders,
squinty eyes, very Jewish.
In tennis, you attack
at the point of weakness!
It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81.
Honey, her backhand's a joke!
I'm not gonna take advantage of that?
Quiet, please.
Actual work going on here.
- Is that that same bee?
- Yes, it is!
I'm helping him sue the human race.
- Hello.
- Hello, bee.
This is Ken.
Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size
ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe.
Why does he talk again?
Listen, you better go
'cause we're really busy working.
But it's our yogurt night!
Bye-bye.
Why is yogurt night so difficult?!
You poor thing.
You two have been at this for hours!
Yes, and Adam here
has been a huge help.
- Frosting...
- How many sugars?
Just one. I try not
to use the competition.
So why are you helping me?
Bees have good qualities.
And it takes my mind off the shop.
Instead of flowers, people
are giving balloon bouquets now.
Those are great, if you're three.
And artificial flowers.
- Oh, those just get me psychotic!
- Yeah, me too.
Bent stingers, pointless pollination.
Bees must hate those fake things!
Nothing worse
than a daffodil that's had work done.
Maybe this could make up
for it a little bit.
- This lawsuit's a pretty big deal.
- I guess.
You sure you want to go through with it?
Am I sure? When I'm done with
the humans, they won't be able
to say, "Honey, I'm home,"
without paying a royalty!
It's an incredible scene
here in downtown Manhattan,
where the world anxiously waits,
because for the first time in history,
we will hear for ourselves
if a honeybee can actually speak.
What have we gotten into here, Barry?
It's pretty big, isn't it?
I can't believe how many humans
don't work during the day.
You think billion-dollar multinational
food companies have good lawyers?
Everybody needs to stay
behind the barricade.
- What's the matter?
- I don't know, I just got a chill.
Well, if it isn't the bee team.
You boys work on this?
All rise! The Honorable
Judge Bumbleton presiding.
All right. Oase number 4475,
Superior Oourt of New York,
Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry
is now in session.
Mr. Montgomery, you're representing
the five food companies collectively?
A privilege.
Mr. Benson... you're representing
all the bees of the world?
I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor,
we're ready to proceed.
Mr. Montgomery,
your opening statement, please.
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
my grandmother was a simple woman.
Born on a farm, she believed
it was man's divine right
to benefit from the bounty
of nature God put before us.
If we lived in the topsy-turvy world
Mr. Benson imagines,
just think of what would it mean.
I would have to negotiate
with the silkworm
for the elastic in my britches!
Talking bee!
How do we know this isn't some sort of
holographic motion-picture-capture
Hollywood wizardry?
They could be using laser beams!
Robotics! Ventriloquism!
Oloning! For all we know,
he could be on steroids!
Mr. Benson?
Ladies and gentlemen,
there's no trickery here.
I'm just an ordinary bee.
Honey's pretty important to me.
It's important to all bees.
We invented it!
We make it. And we protect it
with our lives.
Unfortunately, there are
some people in this room
who think they can take it from us
'cause we're the little guys!
I'm hoping that, after this is all over,
you'll see how, by taking our honey,
you not only take everything we have
but everything we are!
I wish he'd dress like that
all the time. So nice!
Oall your first witness.
So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden
of Honey Farms, big company you have.
I suppose so.
I see you also own
Honeyburton and Honron!
Yes, they provide beekeepers
for our farms.
Beekeeper. I find that
to be a very disturbing term.
I don't imagine you employ
any bee-free-ers, do you?
- No.
- I couldn't hear you.
- No.
- No.
Because you don't free bees.
You keep bees. Not only that,
it seems you thought a bear would be
an appropriate image for a jar of honey.
They're very lovable creatures.
Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear.
You mean like this?
Bears kill bees!
How'd you like his head crashing
through your living room?!
Biting into your couch!
Spitting out your throw pillows!
OK, that's enough. Take him away.
So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here.
Your name intrigues me.
- Where have I heard it before?
- I was with a band called The Police.
But you've never been
a police officer, have you?
No, I haven't.
No, you haven't. And so here
we have yet another example
of bee culture casually
stolen by a human
for nothing more than
a prance-about stage name.
Oh, please.
Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting?
Because I'm feeling
a little stung, Sting.
Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner!
That's not his real name?! You idiots!
Mr. Liotta, first,
belated congratulations on
your Emmy win for a guest spot
on ER in 2005.
Thank you. Thank you.
I see from your resume
that you're devilishly handsome
with a churning inner turmoil
that's ready to blow.
I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime?
Not yet it isn't. But is this
what it's come to for you?
Exploiting tiny, helpless bees
so you don't
have to rehearse
your part and learn your lines, sir?
Watch it, Benson!
I could blow right now!
This isn't a goodfella.
This is a badfella!
Why doesn't someone just step on
this creep, and we can all go home?!
- Order in this court!
- You're all thinking it!
Order! Order, I say!
- Say it!
- Mr. Liotta, please sit down!
I think it was awfully nice
of that bear to pitch in like that.
I think the jury's on our side.
Are we doing everything right, legally?
I'm a florist.
Right. Well, here's to a great team.
To a great team!
Well, hello.
- Ken!
- Hello.
I didn't think you were coming.
No, I was just late.
I tried to call, but... the battery.
I didn't want all this to go to waste,
so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free.
Oh, that was lucky.
There's a little left.
I could heat it up.
Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever.
So I hear you're quite a tennis player.
I'm not much for the game myself.
The ball's a little grabby.
That's where I usually sit.
Right... there.
Ken, Barry was looking at your resume,
and he agreed with me that eating with
chopsticks isn't really a special skill.
You think I don't see what you're doing?
I know how hard it is to find
the rightjob. We have that in common.
Do we?
Bees have 100 percent employment,
but we do jobs like taking the crud out.
That's just what
I was thinking about doing.
Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor
for his fuzz. I hope that was all right.
I'm going to drain the old stinger.
Yeah, you do that.
Look at that.
You know, I've just about had it
with your little mind games.
- What's that?
- Italian Vogue.
Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages.
A lot of ads.
Remember what Van said, why is
your life more valuable than mine?
Funny, I just can't seem to recall that!
I think something stinks in here!
I love the smell of flowers.
How do you like the smell of flames?!
Not as much.
Water bug! Not taking sides!
Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat!
This is pathetic!
I've got issues!
Well, well, well, a royal flush!
- You're bluffing.
- Am I?
Surf's up, dude!
Poo water!
That bowl is gnarly.
Except for those dirty yellow rings!
Kenneth! What are you doing?!
You know, I don't even like honey!
I don't eat it!
We need to talk!
He's just a little bee!
And he happens to be
the nicest bee I've met in a long time!
Long time? What are you talking about?!
Are there other bugs in your life?
No, but there are other things bugging
me in life. And you're one of them!
Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night...
My nerves are fried from riding
on this emotional roller coaster!
Goodbye, Ken.
And for your information,
I prefer sugar-free, artificial
sweeteners made by man!
I'm sorry about all that.
I know it's got
an aftertaste! I like it!
I always felt there was some kind
of barrier between Ken and me.
I couldn't overcome it.
Oh, well.
Are you OK for the trial?
I believe Mr. Montgomery
is about out of ideas.
We would like to call
Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand.
Good idea! You can really see why he's
considered one of the best lawyers...
Yeah.
Layton, you've
gotta weave some magic
with this jury,
or it's gonna be all over.
Don't worry. The only thing I have
to do to turn this jury around
is to remind them
of what they don't like about bees.
- You got the tweezers?
- Are you allergic?
Only to losing, son. Only to losing.
Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you
what I think we'd all like to know.
What exactly is your relationship
to that woman?
We're friends.
- Good friends?
- Yes.
How good? Do you live together?
Wait a minute...
Are you her little...
...bedbug?
I've seen a bee documentary or two.
From what I understand,
doesn't your queen give birth
to all the bee children?
- Yeah, but...
- So those aren't your real parents!
- Oh, Barry...
- Yes, they are!
Hold me back!
You're an illegitimate bee,
aren't you, Benson?
He's denouncing bees!
Don't y'all date your cousins?
- Objection!
- I'm going to pincushion this guy!
Adam, don't! It's what he wants!
Oh, I'm hit!!
Oh, lordy, I am hit!
Order! Order!
The venom! The venom
is coursing through my veins!
I have been felled
by a winged beast of destruction!
You see? You can't treat them
like equals! They're striped savages!
Stinging's the only thing
they know! It's their way!
- Adam, stay with me.
- I can't feel my legs.
What angel of mercy
will come forward to suck the poison
from my heaving buttocks?
I will have order in this court. Order!
Order, please!
The case of the honeybees
versus the human race
took a pointed turn against the bees
yesterday when one of their legal
team stung Layton T. Montgomery.
- Hey, buddy.
- Hey.
- Is there much pain?
- Yeah.
I...
I blew the whole case, didn't I?
It doesn't matter. What matters is
you're alive. You could have died.
I'd be better off dead. Look at me.
They got it from the cafeteria
downstairs, in a tuna sandwich.
Look, there's
a little celery still on it.
What was it like to sting someone?
I can't explain it. It was all...
All adrenaline and then...
and then ecstasy!
All right.
You think it was all a trap?
Of course. I'm sorry.
I flew us right into this.
What were we thinking? Look at us. We're
just a couple of bugs in this world.
What will the humans do to us
if they win?
I don't know.
I hear they put the roaches in motels.
That doesn't sound so bad.
Adam, they check in,
but they don't check out!
Oh, my.
Oould you get a nurse
to close that window?
- Why?
- The smoke.
Bees don't smoke.
Right. Bees don't smoke.
Bees don't smoke!
But some bees are smoking.
That's it! That's our case!
It is? It's not over?
Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere.
Get back to the court and stall.
Stall any way you can.
And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub.
Mr. Flayman.
Yes? Yes, Your Honor!
Where is the rest of your team?
Well, Your Honor, it's interesting.
Bees are trained to fly haphazardly,
and as a result,
we don't make very good time.
I actually heard a funny story about...
Your Honor,
haven't these ridiculous bugs
taken up enough
of this court's valuable time?
How much longer will we allow
these absurd shenanigans to go on?
They have presented no compelling
evidence to support their charges
against my clients,
who run legitimate businesses.
I move for a complete dismissal
of this entire case!
Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going
to have to consider
Mr. Montgomery's motion.
But you can't! We have a terrific case.
Where is your proof?
Where is the evidence?
Show me the smoking gun!
Hold it, Your Honor!
You want a smoking gun?
Here is your smoking gun.
What is that?
It's a bee smoker!
What, this?
This harmless little contraption?
This couldn't hurt a fly,
let alone a bee.
Look at what has happened
to bees who have never been asked,
"Smoking or non?"
Is this what nature intended for us?
To be forcibly addicted
to smoke machines
and man-made wooden slat work camps?
Living out our lives as honey slaves
to the white man?
- What are we gonna do?
- He's playing the species card.
Ladies and gentlemen, please,
free these bees!
Free the bees! Free the bees!
Free the bees!
Free the bees! Free the bees!
The court finds in favor of the bees!
Vanessa, we won!
I knew you could do it! High-five!
Sorry.
I'm OK! You know what this means?
All the honey
will finally belong to the bees.
Now we won't have
to work so hard all the time.
This is an unholy perversion
of the balance of nature, Benson.
You'll regret this.
Barry, how much honey is out there?
All right. One at a time.
Barry, who are you wearing?
My sweater is Ralph Lauren,
and I have no pants.
- What if Montgomery's right?
- What do you mean?
We've been living the bee way
a long time, 27 million years.
Oongratulations on your victory.
What will you demand as a settlement?
First, we'll demand a complete shutdown
of all bee work camps.
Then we want back the honey
that was ours to begin with,
every last drop.
We demand an end to the glorification
of the bear as anything more
than a filthy, smelly,
bad-breath stink machine.
We're all aware
of what they do in the woods.
Wait for my signal.
Take him out.
He'll have nauseous
for a few hours, then he'll be fine.
And we will no longer tolerate
bee-negative nicknames...
But it's just a prance-about stage name!
...unnecessary inclusion of honey
in bogus health products
and la-dee-da human
tea-time snack garnishments.
Oan't breathe.
Bring it in, boys!
Hold it right there! Good.
Tap it.
Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups,
and there's gallons more coming!
- I think we need to shut down!
- Shut down? We've never shut down.
Shut down honey production!
Stop making honey!
Turn your key, sir!
What do we do now?
Oannonball!
We're shutting honey production!
Mission abort.
Aborting pollination and nectar detail.
Returning to base.
Adam, you wouldn't believe
how much honey was out there.
Oh, yeah?
What's going on? Where is everybody?
- Are they out celebrating?
- They're home.
They don't know what to do.
Laying out, sleeping in.
I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way
to San Antonio with a cricket.
At least we got our honey back.
Sometimes I think, so what if humans
liked our honey? Who wouldn't?
It's the greatest thing in the world!
I was excited to be part of making it.
This was my new desk. This was my
new job. I wanted to do it really well.
And now...
Now I can't.
I don't understand
why they're not happy.
I thought their lives would be better!
They're doing nothing. It's amazing.
Honey really changes people.
You don't have any idea
what's going on, do you?
- What did you want to show me?
- This.
What happened here?
That is not the half of it.
Oh, no. Oh, my.
They're all wilting.
Doesn't look very good, does it?
No.
And whose fault do you think that is?
You know, I'm gonna guess bees.
Bees?
Specifically, me.
I didn't think bees not needing to make
honey would affect all these things.
It's notjust flowers.
Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees.
That's our whole SAT test right there.
Take away produce, that affects
the entire animal kingdom.
And then, of course...
The human species?
So if there's no more pollination,
it could all just go south here,
couldn't it?
I know this is also partly my fault.
How about a suicide pact?
How do we do it?
- I'll sting you, you step on me.
- Thatjust kills you twice.
Right, right.
Listen, Barry...
sorry, but I gotta get going.
I had to open my mouth and talk.
Vanessa?
Vanessa? Why are you leaving?
Where are you going?
To the final Tournament of Roses parade
in Pasadena.
They've moved it to this weekend
because all the flowers are dying.
It's the last chance
I'll ever have to see it.
Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry.
I never meant it to turn out like this.
I know. Me neither.
Tournament of Roses.
Roses can't do sports.
Wait a minute. Roses. Roses?
Roses!
Vanessa!
Roses?!
Barry?
- Roses are flowers!
- Yes, they are.
Flowers, bees, pollen!
I know.
That's why this is the last parade.
Maybe not.
Oould you ask him to slow down?
Oould you slow down?
Barry!
OK, I made a huge mistake.
This is a total disaster, all my fault.
Yes, it kind of is.
I've ruined the planet.
I wanted to help you
with the flower shop.
I've made it worse.
Actually, it's completely closed down.
I thought maybe you were remodeling.
But I have another idea, and it's
greater than my previous ideas combined.
I don't want to hear it!
All right, they have the roses,
the roses have the pollen.
I know every bee, plant
and flower bud in this park.
All we gotta do is get what they've got
back here with what we've got.
- Bees.
- Park.
- Pollen!
- Flowers.
- Repollination!
- Across the nation!
Tournament of Roses,
Pasadena, Oalifornia.
They've got nothing
but flowers, floats and cotton candy.
Security will be tight.
I have an idea.
Vanessa Bloome, FTD.
Official floral business. It's real.
Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch.
Thank you. It was a gift.
Once inside,
we just pick the right float.
How about The Princess and the Pea?
I could be the princess,
and you could be the pea!
Yes, I got it.
- Where should I sit?
- What are you?
- I believe I'm the pea.
- The pea?
It goes under the mattresses.
- Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart.
- I'm getting the marshal.
You do that!
This whole parade is a fiasco!
Let's see what this baby'll do.
Hey, what are you doing?!
Then all we do
is blend in with traffic...
...without arousing suspicion.
Once at the airport,
there's no stopping us.
Stop! Security.
- You and your insect pack your float?
- Yes.
Has it been
in your possession the entire time?
Would you remove your shoes?
- Remove your stinger.
- It's part of me.
I know. Just having some fun.
Enjoy your flight.
Then if we're lucky, we'll have
just enough pollen to do the job.
Oan you believe how lucky we are? We
have just enough pollen to do the job!
I think this is gonna work.
It's got to work.
Attention, passengers,
this is Oaptain Scott.
We have a bit of bad weather
in New York.
It looks like we'll experience
a couple hours delay.
Barry, these are cut flowers
with no water. They'll never make it.
I gotta get up there
and talk to them.
Be careful.
Oan I get help
with the Sky Mall magazine?
I'd like to order the talking
inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer.
Oaptain, I'm in a real situation.
- What'd you say, Hal?
- Nothing.
Bee!
Don't freak out! My entire species...
What are you doing?
- Wait a minute! I'm an attorney!
- Who's an attorney?
Don't move.
Oh, Barry.
Good afternoon, passengers.
This is your captain.
Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B
please report to the cockpit?
And please hurry!
What happened here?
There was a DustBuster,
a toupee, a life raft exploded.
One's bald, one's in a boat,
they're both unconscious!
- Is that another bee joke?
- No!
No one's flying the plane!
This is JFK control tower, Flight 356.
What's your status?
This is Vanessa Bloome.
I'm a florist from New York.
Where's the pilot?
He's unconscious,
and so is the copilot.
Not good. Does anyone onboard
have flight experience?
As a matter of fact, there is.
- Who's that?
- Barry Benson.
From the honey trial?! Oh, great.
Vanessa, this is nothing more
than a big metal bee.
It's got giant wings, huge engines.
I can't fly a plane.
- Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot?
- Yes.
How hard could it be?
Wait, Barry!
We're headed into some lightning.
This is Bob Bumble. We have some
late-breaking news from JFK Airport,
where a suspenseful scene
is developing.
Barry Benson,
fresh from his legal victory...
That's Barry!
...is attempting to land a plane,
loaded with people, flowers
and an incapacitated flight crew.
Flowers?!
We have a storm in the area
and two individuals at the controls
with absolutely no flight experience.
Just a minute.
There's a bee on that plane.
I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson
and his no-account compadres.
I wouldn't really call it a guilty pleasure, but I actually really like every season. What's everyone's favorite episode?
My top three(I have to do four) are-
Krusty Towers- Mr. Krabs builds the hotel.(My old signature quote.) Favorite of all-time.
Squidward in Clarinetland- SpongeBob turns a small locker into a giant storage room. Squidward goes in and is in a Clarinet World. The one with the giant eagle head.
Suction Cup Symphony- Squidward composes a song, but SpongeBob and Patrick intrrupt him. SpongeBob pretends to to be a doctor. During the performance, SpongeBob and Patrik show up.
Greasy Buffoons- Mr. Krabs and Plankton start feeding the fish grease. A lot of people hate this one, but I really like it.
Other than maybe the first one, no one probably has seen any...
There are many in Seasons 1, 2, and 3 that are better than these, but these just hold a special place in my heart...
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xSuperMario64x
love of my life 💙💜
wtaf xDDDDD
B e t h a n y
I hate pears
you have no idea how long it took me to post that with this stupid Australian internet
xSuperMario64x
love of my life 💙💜
I really like the episode band geeks because watching them all be in a marching band and fail miserably then rise up to glory at the end is the greatest thing ever. It also demonstrates how Spongebob is infinitely better than Squidward, even in music.
I also really like the episode where Patrick goes to boating school with Spongebob, that one has always been a personal favorite.
There's so many other good episodes but all my close favorites are in seasons 1 2 and 3 coincidentally.
- - - Post Merge - - -
I would like to know, does anyone know exactly how many times Spongebob ripped his pants in the episode "ripped pants"?
Haskell
Saving for a username change KEK
pinkcotton? Can I have The Task Of Asking Rask thread to be advertised on the first page?
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My top three Spongebob episodes are...
1.Algae's Always Greener
2.Have you seen this Snail?
3.Dunces and Dragons.
- - - Post Merge - - -
Personality not a fan of it...
1.Algae's Always Greener
2.Have you seen this Snail?
3.Dunces and Dragons.
- - - Post Merge - - -
Personality not a fan of it...
B e t h a n y
I hate pears
You'd better pray to the Lord
When you see those flying saucers
It may be the coming of the Judgment Day
Hey, Jerry, you might wanna check this
one out. Palomarjust picked it up.
Looks like some type of UFO,
and it's heading this way.
How many times do I have to tell you?
UFOs don't exist
and we're never gonna see...
- Wow, its energy signature is massive.
- Holy Cheez-lts! What do we do?!
No one told us what to do!
I took this job because
you never have to do anything!
Jerry, stop it.
Let me calculate its impact point.
Looks like...
...Modesto, California.
Supernova, this is Red Dwarf.
We actually have one!
Code Nimoy! I repeat, Code Nimoy!
What are you guys doing here?
It's 5.00 in the morning.
Hurry, turn on the TV! Turn it on now!
...and some early morning fog,
giving way to sunny skies.
Seventy-five degrees.
A perfect day to stop by
the old folk art and craft show
down at the fairgrounds, or a
perfect day to marry Susan Murphy.
I love you, baby.
I love you, too.
And good morning, Modesto!
Channel 172.
You look gorgeous, sweetheart.
Thanks, Mom.
My little girl!
Daddy!
Now, I want you to know that, even
though I'm about to give you away...
...I will always be here
to take care of you.
Don't cry because then you'll make me
cry, and that's just gonna be a mess.
I can't help it!
Hello, everyone! Attention, attention!
Wedding starts in 30 minutes!
- My beautiful daughter-in-law!
- Hi, Mama Dietl.
It's like a fairy tale. The Weatherman
and the Weatherman's Wife.
Romantic.
I know. Just think, this time tomorrow,
I'm gonna be in Paris!
And someday, we won't
just be honeymooning there.
Derek will become an anchor
or a foreign correspondent.
- And we'll travel all over the world.
- Honey, my fingers are crossed.
One thumb is shorter than the other.
Runs in the family.
Derek doesn't have that.
It skips a generation.
Your kids are gonna have it!
Wow, you look beautiful.
So do you. I mean, handsome.
I mean...
Sorry. I'm just a little frazzled.
I just spent way too much time
with our parents.
Don't worry, OK?
We'll be alone soon, just us.
Eating cheese and baguettes
by the Seine,
feeding each other chocolate crepes.
- Is something wrong?
- No, no! It's just that, well...
There's been a slight change of plans.
We're not going to Paris.
- What? Why not?
- Because we're going somewhere better.
- Better than Paris?
- Oh, yeah.
Where? Tahiti?!
Nope! Fresno!
Fresno!
Fresno.
In what universe is Fresno
better than Paris, Derek?
In the "I've got an audition to become
Channel 23's new
evening anchor" universe.
Got the call from the general manager,
he wants me to come in immediately!
- Isn't that great?
- Derek!
That's...
...amazing! It's amazing.
Fresno's a top 50 market, isn't it?
It's 55th, but we're on our way, babe!
Now, look. About Paris...
It's OK. It's fine!
As long as we're together,
Fresno is the most
romantic city in the whole world.
- I'm so proud of you.
- Of us! Notjust of me.
I mean, of course, but we're a team now.
You're so proud of us.
Now, get out of here.
It's bad luck to see me in my dress.
Come on. You know
I don't believe in that stuff.
I'll be waiting for you at the altar...
the handsome news anchor in the tux.
Love you! There, I said it.
I love you, too.
Susan!
Where could she be?
Susan! Where are you?!
Susan! Where have you been?!
I think I just got hit by a meteorite.
Oh, Susan. Every bride feels
that way on her wedding day.
My goodness, look at you. You're filthy.
Thank God I have Wet Ones.
Wow.
You're glowing.
Thank you.
No. No, Susan, you're, like,
really glowing. You're green!
Oh, no!
Derek!
Oh, my gosh!
What's going on?!
- What's happening?!
- You're all shrinking!
Uh-uh! You're growing!
- Well, make it stop!
- Get me the government!
This is impossible!
No, this can't be happening.
Wait, wait. Everybody, it's OK!
Have some champagne
while we're figuring this out!
Thumbs! Thumbs!
Derek! Help me!
Sweet Lord!
- Here comes the bride!
- Oh, Carl! It's her wedding day!
Derek? Derek?
Beam hurt Derek.
- Susan?
- Thank goodness you're OK!
What's happening to me?
Don't panic! Don't worry!
Whatever you do, don't drop...
- Derek!
- Sorry, sir.
Who are you people?
What are you doing?
Stop it! Be careful!
Get your hands off me!
Don't you know who I am?!
Please, just leave me alone!
Watch those cables!
She's coming down!
Watch out!
Move it, move it!
Let's go! Move it, move it!
Pull, pull!
Derek?
All right, let's get
this baby on the bus.
Honey, could you hit the snooze?
Baby, why did you set the alarm?
We're on our honeymoon.
Hello?
What's going on?
Hello?
Is itjust legs?
Did they capture a giant pair of legs?
Silence, B.O. B! She'll hear us!
- How? Legs don't have ears.
- Just shush!
Hello?
Is there someone there?
Could you tell me where I am?
Hello? What was that?
Hello.
Will you stop?! Careful!
Please, madam!
Stop! Doing! That!
Whatever mad scientist made you,
he really went all out.
You can talk.
Hi, there!
My back!
Just kidding! I don't have a back!
Forgive him, but as you can see,
he has no brain.
Turns out you don't need one.
Totally overrated!
As a matter of fact, I don't even...
I forgot how to breathe!
Don't know how to breathe!
Help me, Dr Cockroach! Help!
Suck in, B.O.B.
Thanks, Doc. You're a lifesaver.
Wow, look at you.
I know what you're thinking.
First day in prison, you want to
take down the toughest guy in the yard.
Well, I'd like to see you try.
Ninja!
- Gosh. Look, she's speechless.
- She?
Yes, B.O. B! We are in the presence
of the rare female monster.
No way! It's a boy. Look at his boobies.
We need to have a talk.
Gentlemen, I'm afraid we are not making
a very good first impression.
At least I'm talking.
First new monster in years, we
couldn't get a wolf man or a mummy?
Just, you know,
somebody to play cards with.
Might we ask your name, madam?
Susan.
No, no, no. We mean your monster name.
Like, what do people scream
when they see you coming?
You know, like,
"Look out! Here comes!"
Susan.
Really?
Susan!
I just scared myself. That is scary.
Yes! Eat times.
That is repulsive!
An old slipper!
Oh, please, God,
tell me this isn't real.
Please tell me I had a nervous
breakdown at the wedding, and now I'm
in a mental hospital on medication
that's giving me hallucinations.
Don't scare Insectosaurus!
He's gonna pee himself,
then we'll all be in trouble.
Every room has a door!
There's gotta be a door here!
It's OK, buddy. Don't worry about it.
Who's a handsome bug, huh?
You like it when I rub your tummy?
Please! Somebody!
I don't belong here!
- Let me out!
- Hey, that is not a good idea.
Let me out!
Monsters, get back in your cells.
Oh, thank goodness. A real person.
You are a real person, right?
Not one of those
half-person, half-machine,
you know, whatever
you call those things.
- A cyborg?
- Oh, no! You're a cyborg?!
Madam, I assure you, I am not a cyborg.
The name is General W.R. Monger.
I'm in charge of this facility.
Now, follow me.
It is time for your orientation.
In 1950, it was decided that Jane and
Joe Public could not handle the truth
about monsters, and should focus on more
important things, like paying taxes.
So the government convinced the world
monsters were stuff of myth and legend
and then locked them in this facility.
But I'm not a monster!
I'm just a regular person.
I'm not a danger to anyone or anything.
Don't let her get me!
Sorry.
- How long will I be here?
- Indefinitely.
- Can I contact my parents?
- No.
- Derek?
- Negative.
- Do they know where I am?
- No, and they never will!
This place is an X file,
wrapped in a cover-up
and deep-fried in a paranoid conspiracy.
There will be zero contact
with the outside world.
...seven, eight...
...999...
...1,000.
I can't believe I did ten sets.
Susan!
You wouldn't happen to have
any uranium on you?
I just need a smidge.
Rescind Dr Cockroach's toy box
privileges immediately.
We had the prison psychologist
redecorate your cell.
Try to keep you all calm-like.
But I don't want a poster.
I want a real kitten hanging
from a real tree.
I want to go home.
Come on, little Debbie, please
don't cry. It makes my knees hurt.
Don't think of this as a prison.
Think of it as a hotel you never leave
because it's locked from the outside!
Oh, and one other thing.
The government has changed
your name to Ginormica.
Begin reanimation sequence.
Who dares to wake me?
Quantonium has been located on a
distant planet in the Omega Quadrant.
The Omega Quadrant? Lame.
The trajectory of the
Quantonium meteor
has been traced to sector 72-4,
the planet locally known as Earth.
What a miserable-looking mud ball.
Send a robot probe!
Extract the Quantonium
with extreme prejudice.
I want it all.
Every last drop!
Yes, Gallaxhar.
Nothing can stand in my way now.
Don't rush me, Katie!
I'm just not ready.
Relax, Cuthbert.
It's just like dancing. I'll lead.
Katie, I have a gymnastics
meet tomorrow. So maybe...
Did you open the top?
Thank goodness. It's the police.
- We weren't doing anything, officer!
- Yeah, nothing at all.
Jiminy!
Why did I even let you talk me into
this?! Maybe we should get out of here.
- Or, maybe, we should go check it out.
- Katie, are you nuts?!
Wait! Don't leave me alone!
No! My ankle!
I think it's broken!
Katie?
This is the worst date ever.
Katie, I'm frightened.
It was first spotted at midnight last
night by a couple in romantic embrace.
No one knows what it is
or where it came from.
All branches of the military
were immediately mobilised.
What is that, Henshaw?
OK.
I have just received word that
the president of the United States
has arrived and will
attempt to make first contact.
I must approach it alone.
This is all about
peaceful communication.
Yes, sir, Mr President.
Perimeter stable. Got a bead
on Papa Bear. All clear.
- Let's go!
- Get out of the way!
Set her down now. Here we go!
Commander, do something violent!
You heard the president! Light 'em up!
We're getting pummelled here! Call in
air support! Call in air support!
Call in... Call in a full retreat!
Full retreat! Full retreat, all troops!
- Wheels up. Papa Bear is on the move.
- Wait.
So that's how you want to play it?
Eat lead, alien robot!
- Evidently, they eat lead.
- Get him on the chopper.
I'm brave! I'm a brave president!
Get out of the way!
- Sir! We need to declare a...
- We need to overthrow that robot
- and install our own government!
- Let's sacrifice the elderly to it!
- I say we invade it!
- The Earth only has two weeks left!
If that thing walks into a populated
area there'll be a major catastrophe!
We need our top scientific minds
on this. Get India on the phone!
Can we transport the United States
to a safer planet?
Give this alien a green card and
make him proud to be an American.
It's at dire times like this when I stop
and ask myself, "What would Oprah do"?
Hang it all! What's the point?
It's a disaster.
- Stop! No!
- Don't do it!
That button launches
our nuclear missiles!
Well, which button gets me a latte?
That would be the other one, sir.
- What idiot designed this thing?
- You did, sir.
- Fair enough. Wilson, fire somebody!
- Yes, sir, Mr President.
Listen up. I'm not going
to go down in history
as the president who was in office
when the world came to an end,
so somebody think of something,
and think of it fast!
- That is a good cup ofjoe.
- Mr President?
Not only do I have an idea,
but I have a plan!
Now, conventional weapons
have no effect on this thing,
- and we know nukes ain't an option.
- Sure they are. I just...
- Don't do it! Stop!
- Wait!
I'm not gonna kid you, Mr President.
These are dark times.
The odds are against us. We need a Hail
Mary pass. We need raw power! We need...
...monsters.
Monsters! Of course! It's so simple!
I... I'm not following you.
Over the last 50 years, I have captured
monsters on the rampage,
and locked them up
in a secret prison facility.
So secret that the mere mention
of its name is a federal offence.
Is he referring to Area Fifty...
Mr President,
say hello to Insectosaurus!
Miss Ronson, please.
Nuclear radiation turned him
from a small grub
into a 350-foot-tall
monster that attacked Tokyo.
Here we have the Missing Link.
A 20,000-year-old frozen fish man
who was thawed out by scientists.
He escaped and went on a rampage
in his old watering hole.
This handsome fellow
is Dr Cockroach, PhD,
the most brilliant man in the world.
He invented a scientific machine
that would give humans
the cockroach's ability to survive.
Unfortunately, there was a side effect.
Now, we call this thing B.O.B.
Will someone get her out of here?!
Thank you.
A genetically altered tomato was
combined with a chemically altered
ranch-flavoured dessert topping
at a snack food plant.
The resulting goop
gained consciousness,
and became an
indestructible gelatinous mass.
And, our latest addition, Ginormica.
General, continue.
Her entire body radiates
with pure energy,
giving her enormous strength and size.
Sir, these monsters are our best
and only chance to defeat that robot.
Don't we already have
an alien problem, General?
I don't think we need
a monster problem, too.
You got a better idea, nerd?
OK. Stay where you are.
General, I propose we go forward
with your monsters-versus-aliens
idea... thingy.
Go fish.
Do you...
...have any...
...threes?
Yes. I do! How are you doing this?
- You're the luckiest guy I know.
- Luck ain't got nothin' to do with it.
What the? Hey!
They called me crazy,
but I'll show them. I'll show them all!
Doctor, I'd prefer you didn't do
your mad scientist laugh
while I'm hooked up to this machine.
You're right, Insecto.
You've let that quack experiment
on you for over a month.
I'm not a quack! I'm a mad scientist!
There is a difference.
Guys, what choice do I have? If he can
make me normal, or even six foot eight,
I can get out of here, get back
to the life I'm supposed to have.
- I should be in...
- Let me guess, Fresno?
Well, Fresno is just a stepping stone.
Next stop, Milwaukee.
- Then New York, then hopefully...
- Yeah, we know. Paris.
Throw the switch, Doctor,
but don't do the laugh.
Now you're going to feel
a slight pinch in the brain.
Sorry.
Susan!
Am I small again?
I'm afraid not, my dear.
In fact, you may actually
have grown a couple of feet.
That's OK, Doc.
We'll try again tomorrow.
You really don't get it, do you?
No monster has ever gotten out of here!
That's not true! The Invisible Man did.
No, he didn't. We just told you that
so you wouldn't get upset.
He died of a heart attack 25 years ago.
No!
Yeah... in that very chair.
He's still there.
You see what I'm saying? Nobody's
leaving. Nobody's ever getting out.
Good news, monsters! You're getting out!
Until today.
So let me get this straight, Monger.
You want us to fight an alien robot.
And, in exchange,
the president of these United States
authorised me to grant you
your freedom.
I can't believe it!
Soon, I'll be back in Derek's arms...
...or he'll be in mine.
I can't wait for spring break
back at Cocoa Beach, just
freaking everybody out.
And I'll go back to my lab
and finally finish my experiments.
No! That's me, B.O.B.
- Then I'll be a really giant lady.
- That's Susan, B.O.B.
Fine. Then I'll go back to Modesto
and be with Derek.
That's still Susan, B.O.B.
I think I, at least,
deserve a chance to be with Derek!
All right, let's go!
Everybody move in an orderly fashion!
This is an emergency!
We are evacuating the city!
Exact change is appreciated,
but not necessary!
Let's move out!
This is San Francisco!
This isn't far from my home!
Feel the wind on your antennae.
Isn't this wonderful?
I haven't been outside in 50 years.
It's amazing out here!
It's hotter than I remember.
Has the Earth gotten warmer?
That'd be great to know.
That would be a very convenient truth.
- Now that's a robot!
- It's huge.
Try not to damage it too much.
I might want to bring it
back to the farm!
No, no, no, wait! You didn't say
anything about it being huge!
Wait! No! Don't leave!
I think he sees us.
Hello! Hi! How you doing?
Welcome! We are here to destroy you!
I can't fight that thing.
I can't even... I've never...
I'm hyperventilating.
Does anybody have a giant paper bag?
Relax.
Old Link's got this under control.
Hide in the city, Susan.
You'll be safe there.
But stay away from the Tenderloin!
It's a little dicey!
Finally, some action.
I'm gonna turn that oversized tin can
into a really dented oversized tin can.
OK! Does anybody have
a 20 on Insectosaurus?
Wow!
Would you look at the size of that...
Foot!
I got him, you guys! I got...
Don't worry, I won't let go!
I'm wearing him down!
Please tell me he's slowing down!
Get to the city, Link.
I'll catch up with you as soon as I can.
Or maybe you'll have to
catch up with me.
Oh, no! No, no, no!
OK, OK. I got this.
Yep, that hurt.
Get in! I have a plan!
Hot dogs!
All right, Link, I'm going to pull up
alongside it! You get up in there,
get to its
central processing unit, and...
- Hey, guys, catch me!
- No!
Let's go, let's go! Keep it moving!
Hey! No honking!
Excuse me! Coming through!
On your right! No control!
Oh, no.
OK! It's going to be OK!
Look, I'm gonna get you out of there!
Hold on a second!
We have to get off the bridge before...
No, no, no! Get away from me!
Coming through! Watch it!
Hey, furball, where you been?
Yeah, I know.
Papa's a little out of shape.
Excuse me! He's trying to kill me!
Why is it doing that? Why would it...
Wow.
- Wow. You're doing great!
- I'm doing everything!
Not for long. Come on, you guys.
Let's take this thing down!
A deflector shield. Typical.
You can't crush a cockroach!
Right, right.
Here we go.
Insectosaurus!
Insectosaurus!
- B.O. B!
- What?
- Help me!
- Sorry.
- I was staring at this bird over there.
- Get these people off the bridge!
Got it.
No, B.O. B!
Move the dividers!
Oh, yeah, you're right. My bad.
Go, go, go, go!
Link!
Oh, I don't feel good.
OK. Susan, you can do this.
All right. Let's take this thing down.
Retrieval has failed.
Don't get upset.
It happens to everyone.
That lower life form thinks
she can steal my Quantonium?!
Send another probe at once!
Quantonium cannot
be retrieved via robot.
Carbon-based life form, locally known
as Susan, is now too strong.
Oh, you think because
you're all big and strong
and you can destroy my robot probe
that you're gonna send me
running and hiding?!
My days of running and hiding are over!
Computer, set a course to Earth.
I will retrieve the Quantonium myself,
even if I need to rip it out of her body
one cell at a time!
Careful, it's hot.
Three weeks ago, if you had asked me
to defeat a giant alien robot,
I'd have said, "No can do".
But I did it! Me!
I'm still buzzing.
Did you see how strong I was?! Probably
isn't a jar in this world I can't open.
You were positively heroic, my dear.
I especially loved how you
saved those people on the bridge.
It was a nice touch.
Wasn't she amazing, Link?
Yeah, she was great.
Really cool. Loved it.
Oh, poor Link.
After all that tough talk,
you were out-monstered by a girl.
- No wonder you're depressed.
- Hey, I'm not depressed. I'm tired.
Why are you tired?
You didn't do anything.
Well, I haven't been sleeping well.
I got sleep apnes... apnea.
Whatever. It's not fun.
So Link's a little rusty...
I mean, sleep deprived.
You'll be back
to your old self in no time.
And so will I.
What happened to the "there isn't
a jar in the world I can't open" stuff?
Wait. Did you find a jar
you couldn't open? Were pickles in it?
- Where's the giantjar of pickles?!
- What my associate is trying to say
is that we all think the new
Susan is the "cat's me-wow".
I'm sorry.
Thanks, you guys. That is so sweet,
but I have a normal life
waiting for me. You know?
So, tell me, exactly, how this normal
life thing works with you being giant.
I'm not gonna be a giant forever.
Derek won't rest
until we've found a cure for my...
...condition. We're a team.
We could all do with a Derek. Perhaps,
someday, we could make his acquaintance!
Really? You guys want to meet Derek?
First stop, Modesto!
Ginormica, I called your family
to let them know you were coming home.
Now, I also called the Modesto PD
and told them not to shoot at you.
Thanks, General.
OK, remember,
these people aren't used to seeing...
...anything like...
...you, or you...
...or you.
So just be, you know, cool.
Just be... you know...
Follow my lead.
Stop! That was an accident!
Don't destroy anything!
Susan?
- Susie Q!
- Mom? Daddy?
- Did they experiment on you?
- No, Mom. I'm fine.
It's OK. They're with me.
These are my new friends.
Oh, Derek! I missed you so much,
thinking that we'd
someday be together again!
It's the only thing that got me through
prison! I love you! I love this man!
No, B.O. B! That's my mother!
You're suffocating her!
Honey, are you all right?
- I taste ham.
- Sorry, Mom.
He's just a hugger.
Where's Derek?
He's at work, sweetie.
You know how he is about his career.
- We're not gonna celebrate without him!
- Susan!
What do I do
with all your little friends?
Just put out some snacks!
They'll eat anything!
Ambrosia!
How's it going?
Qu? pasa, girlfriend?
Way to cut up a rug, Insecto!
Who wants to go
for a swim with the Link?
Hi. I'm Benzoate-Ostylezene-Bicarbonate.
Or you can call me "B.O.B.",
whichever's easier.
Did I come on too strong? I'm sorry.
I'm a little rusty.
I've been in prison my whole life.
Why'd I mention prison?
I didn't mean to scare you.
I'm just going to go.
I feel so stupid.
All right, everyone, just stay calm.
Whatever you do, do not provoke them.
Anyone care for an Atomic Gin Fizz?
It's got quite a...
...kick.
Chlorine! Chlorine in my eyes!
- They're turning on us!
- Everyone run for your lives!
What are they running away from?
That's hilarious, Jim.
That's exactly the kind of
down-home country humour
I'm gonna miss when I'm in Fresno.
This is Derek Dietl,
signing off for the very last time.
- Good night, Modesto!
- Channel 172.
And cut.
Did you like that sign off?
Just made it up.
Oh, my goodness.
Wait, wait, wait! But, but!
Oh, Derek. You wouldn't
believe my last three weeks!
Thinking about you was
the only thing that kept me sane.
- Can't breathe! Ribs collapsing!
- Oh, my gosh! I'm so sorry!
Oh, my goodness. Is that better?
OK. OK.
I'm still kind of getting used to
my new strength.
Wow! You really are big!
Yeah, but I'm still me. I'm still
the same girl you fell in love with.
Except you did just destroy
the Golden Gate Bridge.
But that was the only way
I could stop that giant robot!
You ever think I could do
something like that?
No, I didn't. I can honestly say
it never, ever, ever, ever,
ever, ever, ever, ever,
ever, ever, ever occurred to me.
Look, I know this is a little weird.
OK, it's a lot weird,
but we'll figure it out.
I know that, together, we can find
a way to get me back to normal.
Susan, try and look at this
from my perspective.
I have an audience
that depends on me for news,
weather, sports
and heart-warming fluff pieces.
You expect me to put all that on hold
while you try to undo
this thing that happened to you?
That I had absolutely
nothing to do with?
Yes. That's exactly what I expect.
What about the life we always
talked about? Don't you still want that?
Of course. I just...
...don't see how
I can have that with you.
Derek, please, don't do this.
You have to face facts, Susan.
Don't crush me for saying this,
but I'm not looking to get married
and spend the rest of my life
in someone else's shadow.
And you're casting a pretty big shadow.
I'm sorry. It's over.
Good luck, Susan.
Wow! What a shindig!
Your parents really know
how to throw it down.
What? No, that was a great party,
one of the best I've been to
since I got out of prison.
I must have been at a different party,
'cause that's not
how I interpreted it at all.
I don't think your parents liked me, and
that JELL-O gave me a fake phone number.
Well, at least the garbage was free.
You know? I mean...
Ah, who are we kidding?
We could save every city on the planet,
and they'd still treat us the same way
they've always treated us...
...like monsters.
Right. Monsters.
Anyway, how is Derek?
Derek is a selfish jerk.
- No!
- Yes.
All that talk about "us".
"I'm so proud of us."
"Us just got a job in Fresno."
There's no "us".
There was only Derek. Why did I have to
get hit by a meteor to see that?
I was such an idiot!
Why did I ever think life with Derek
would be so great, anyway?
I mean, look at all the stuff
I've done without him.
Fighting an alien robot?
That was me, not him.
And that was amazing!
Meeting you guys? Amazing.
Dr Cockroach, you can crawl up walls
and build a supercomputer out of a
pizza box, two cans of hairspray, and...
- A paper clip!
- Amazing!
And you! You hardly need an
introduction. You're the Missing Link!
You personally carried
250 co-eds off of Cocoa Beach,
and still had strength
to fight off the National Guard!
And the Coast Guard
and, also, the lifeguard.
Amazing!
B.O. B! Who else could fall
from unimaginable heights
and end up without a single scratch?
- Link?
- You.
Amazing!
Good point, Insecto!
Susan, don't short-change yourself!
Oh, I'm not going to
short-change myself ever again!
- Testify!
- Yeah.
Oh, yes.
Susan!
Way to go, Insecto!
Insecto, look out!
Insectosaurus! No!
You're gonna make it.
It's going to be all right. Look at me.
Don't you close those eyes.
Don't you dare close those eyes.
You can't...
You must be terrified.
You wake up in a strange place,
wearing strange clothes,
imprisoned by a strange being
floating on a strange hovering device.
Strange, isn't it?
Hardly. It's not the first time.
Wow. You really get around.
To the extraction chamber!
Look. What is it that you want from me?
You have stolen what is rightfully mine!
I didn't steal anything from you.
Your enormous, grotesque body
contains Quantonium,
the most powerful substance
in the universe.
Did you really think
you could keep it from me?
That's what this is all about?
You destroyed San Francisco,
you terrified millions of people...
...you killed my friend,
just to get to me?
Silence!
Your voice is grating on my ear nubs.
It's a shame you won't be around to see
what the power of Quantonium
can do in the tentacles
of someone who knows how to use it!
I know how to use itjust fine!
Don't bother.
That force field is impenetrab...
What the Flagnard?!
That should stop your puny...
Computer, close door, hangar two!
Close door, hangar three!
Door, hangar four!
Close them all!
Computer, begin extraction!
Finally, I can rebuild my
civilisation on a new planet.
Any thoughts on where
I should set up shop?
Your planet, perhaps?
You keep your
slimy tentacles off my planet!
If you wanted to stop me,
you should have done it
when you possessed the Quantonium!
Now you're nothing.
There are innocent people
down there who didn't do anything!
There were innocent people on my
home planet before it was destroyed.
- I'm sorry your planet was destroyed.
- Oh, don't be.
I'm the one who destroyed it. Confused?
After I reveal my tale to you,
everything will become crystal clear.
Computer, initialise cloning machine.
Yes, Gallaxhar.
Many zentons ago,
when I was but a squidling,
I found out my parents were...
No child should ever
have to endure that!
So I went on the road with a giant...
And soon thereafter was married!
Things were going well,
until she wanted to...
And then I was all, "No way!", and she
was all, "Yes, way", and I was like...
But I've told you too much already!
Let the birth of my new planet,
now called...
..."Gallaxhar's Planet" begin!
Once again,
a UFO has landed in America,
the only country UFO's
ever seem to land in.
Excuse me. What's that, Henshaw?
Okey-dokey.
We now take you, live, to a transmission
from the alien spacecraft.
Humans of Earth, I have come in peace.
You need not fear me.
I mean you no harm.
However, it is important to note most of
you will not survive the next 24 hours.
And those who do survive will be
enslaved and experimented on.
You should in no way
take any of this personally.
It's just business. So just to recap:
I come in peace, I mean you no harm
and you all will die. Gallaxhar out.
OK, boys, set the terror level
at code brown
'cause I need to change my pants.
- What're we gonna do now, Doc?
- I...
I don't know.
I'll tell you what we're gonna do.
We're not gonna let Insecto die in vain.
We're gonna get up there, find Susan,
and we're gonna take that alien down!
All right, you got enough juice
in those jetpacks to get up there,
but not enough to make it home.
I'll come get you if I can.
If I don't, it means I'm dead. Or late.
I've been your warden
for close to 50 years.
That's no longer the case.
For what it's worth...
- That's rude. What did we do?
- No, B.O.B., that's not rude.
That's a sign of respect.
General, it's targeting us!
That's the idea, Lieutenant.
Hold your course.
Steady.
Steady.
Hard right! Hard right!
I can't shake it!
Hang on to your socks!
We're going for a ride!
That's why I always
wear a parachute, Lieutenant.
You can let go of me now, Lieutenant.
Who are you signalling?
We're right here.
Hey, zip it!
Clone!
- Hail Gallaxhar!
- No, not all of you. You, there.
How do I do this? Three back.
No, no, no, no. That guy next to you.
The one I'm pointing at!
You! The one...
You, clone! Yes! Good!
Take the prisoner to the incinerator.
She's useless to us now.
- Hail Gallaxhar.
- Hail me.
Wow. Ginormica ain't so...
"ginormic" anymore.
How are we supposed to get to her?
There's too many of them.
It's impossible.
I may not have a brain, gentlemen,
but I have an idea.
This is not going to work.
Halt!
I... Gallaxhar, command you
to hand over the prisoner this instant.
Clearly, you are defective
beyond repair.
Guards, take this defective clone
to the incinerator!
Well, what are you waiting for?
You and you!
- Seriously?
- Yes! Take the prisoner
and the defective clone
to the incinerator!
- Of course, sir.
- Here's a security pass, just in case.
- Would you like a gun?
- Yes, I would.
Hey, guys, look.
OK.
I can't believe you guys
came to save me. Thank you.
Don't mention it.
We monsters got to stick together.
But I'm not a monster anymore.
I'm just me.
My dear, no matter what your size,
you'll always be...
...nothing but a filthy,
carbon-based life form!
Hail Gallaxhar!
Hail Gallaxhar.
These disguises are the bomb!
That's it! Follow me.
- The only way to save the Earth...
- Hail Gallaxhar!
Hail Gallaxhar. The only way...
- Hail Gallaxhar!
- Hail Gallaxhar.
...to save the Earth
is to blow up this ship...
- Hail Gallaxhar!
- Hail Gallaxhar.
...before the invasion starts.
- How are we gonna do this?
We need to find the main power core.
Excuse me, could you direct us
to the main power core?
Gladly. It's right there,
above the extraction chamber.
Thank you very much. Hail Gallaxhar.
- Watch out!
- Look out, brainless!
Give me that thing!
A weapon like this needs to be
in the hands of someone responsible.
What?!
Hail Gallaxhar?
Monsters!
- Monsters.
- Monsters?!
Attention, all aliens!
Destroy all monsters!
You want some of this?!
Ninja!
You want to hurt my friends,
you'll have to go through me!
Oh, yeah.
Susan!
I can't believe we made it!
O... M... G.
Warning: Intruder.
You'll never figure out my colour code.
A hexadecimal colour code system.
This won't be but a moment.
Red, green, blue,
yellow, orange, baby blue,
purple, pink, mauve, gold,
brown, mocha, avocado, adobe gold!
Doc, come on, dance!
When you see those flying saucers
It may be the coming of the Judgment Day
Hey, Jerry, you might wanna check this
one out. Palomarjust picked it up.
Looks like some type of UFO,
and it's heading this way.
How many times do I have to tell you?
UFOs don't exist
and we're never gonna see...
- Wow, its energy signature is massive.
- Holy Cheez-lts! What do we do?!
No one told us what to do!
I took this job because
you never have to do anything!
Jerry, stop it.
Let me calculate its impact point.
Looks like...
...Modesto, California.
Supernova, this is Red Dwarf.
We actually have one!
Code Nimoy! I repeat, Code Nimoy!
What are you guys doing here?
It's 5.00 in the morning.
Hurry, turn on the TV! Turn it on now!
...and some early morning fog,
giving way to sunny skies.
Seventy-five degrees.
A perfect day to stop by
the old folk art and craft show
down at the fairgrounds, or a
perfect day to marry Susan Murphy.
I love you, baby.
I love you, too.
And good morning, Modesto!
Channel 172.
You look gorgeous, sweetheart.
Thanks, Mom.
My little girl!
Daddy!
Now, I want you to know that, even
though I'm about to give you away...
...I will always be here
to take care of you.
Don't cry because then you'll make me
cry, and that's just gonna be a mess.
I can't help it!
Hello, everyone! Attention, attention!
Wedding starts in 30 minutes!
- My beautiful daughter-in-law!
- Hi, Mama Dietl.
It's like a fairy tale. The Weatherman
and the Weatherman's Wife.
Romantic.
I know. Just think, this time tomorrow,
I'm gonna be in Paris!
And someday, we won't
just be honeymooning there.
Derek will become an anchor
or a foreign correspondent.
- And we'll travel all over the world.
- Honey, my fingers are crossed.
One thumb is shorter than the other.
Runs in the family.
Derek doesn't have that.
It skips a generation.
Your kids are gonna have it!
Wow, you look beautiful.
So do you. I mean, handsome.
I mean...
Sorry. I'm just a little frazzled.
I just spent way too much time
with our parents.
Don't worry, OK?
We'll be alone soon, just us.
Eating cheese and baguettes
by the Seine,
feeding each other chocolate crepes.
- Is something wrong?
- No, no! It's just that, well...
There's been a slight change of plans.
We're not going to Paris.
- What? Why not?
- Because we're going somewhere better.
- Better than Paris?
- Oh, yeah.
Where? Tahiti?!
Nope! Fresno!
Fresno!
Fresno.
In what universe is Fresno
better than Paris, Derek?
In the "I've got an audition to become
Channel 23's new
evening anchor" universe.
Got the call from the general manager,
he wants me to come in immediately!
- Isn't that great?
- Derek!
That's...
...amazing! It's amazing.
Fresno's a top 50 market, isn't it?
It's 55th, but we're on our way, babe!
Now, look. About Paris...
It's OK. It's fine!
As long as we're together,
Fresno is the most
romantic city in the whole world.
- I'm so proud of you.
- Of us! Notjust of me.
I mean, of course, but we're a team now.
You're so proud of us.
Now, get out of here.
It's bad luck to see me in my dress.
Come on. You know
I don't believe in that stuff.
I'll be waiting for you at the altar...
the handsome news anchor in the tux.
Love you! There, I said it.
I love you, too.
Susan!
Where could she be?
Susan! Where are you?!
Susan! Where have you been?!
I think I just got hit by a meteorite.
Oh, Susan. Every bride feels
that way on her wedding day.
My goodness, look at you. You're filthy.
Thank God I have Wet Ones.
Wow.
You're glowing.
Thank you.
No. No, Susan, you're, like,
really glowing. You're green!
Oh, no!
Derek!
Oh, my gosh!
What's going on?!
- What's happening?!
- You're all shrinking!
Uh-uh! You're growing!
- Well, make it stop!
- Get me the government!
This is impossible!
No, this can't be happening.
Wait, wait. Everybody, it's OK!
Have some champagne
while we're figuring this out!
Thumbs! Thumbs!
Derek! Help me!
Sweet Lord!
- Here comes the bride!
- Oh, Carl! It's her wedding day!
Derek? Derek?
Beam hurt Derek.
- Susan?
- Thank goodness you're OK!
What's happening to me?
Don't panic! Don't worry!
Whatever you do, don't drop...
- Derek!
- Sorry, sir.
Who are you people?
What are you doing?
Stop it! Be careful!
Get your hands off me!
Don't you know who I am?!
Please, just leave me alone!
Watch those cables!
She's coming down!
Watch out!
Move it, move it!
Let's go! Move it, move it!
Pull, pull!
Derek?
All right, let's get
this baby on the bus.
Honey, could you hit the snooze?
Baby, why did you set the alarm?
We're on our honeymoon.
Hello?
What's going on?
Hello?
Is itjust legs?
Did they capture a giant pair of legs?
Silence, B.O. B! She'll hear us!
- How? Legs don't have ears.
- Just shush!
Hello?
Is there someone there?
Could you tell me where I am?
Hello? What was that?
Hello.
Will you stop?! Careful!
Please, madam!
Stop! Doing! That!
Whatever mad scientist made you,
he really went all out.
You can talk.
Hi, there!
My back!
Just kidding! I don't have a back!
Forgive him, but as you can see,
he has no brain.
Turns out you don't need one.
Totally overrated!
As a matter of fact, I don't even...
I forgot how to breathe!
Don't know how to breathe!
Help me, Dr Cockroach! Help!
Suck in, B.O.B.
Thanks, Doc. You're a lifesaver.
Wow, look at you.
I know what you're thinking.
First day in prison, you want to
take down the toughest guy in the yard.
Well, I'd like to see you try.
Ninja!
- Gosh. Look, she's speechless.
- She?
Yes, B.O. B! We are in the presence
of the rare female monster.
No way! It's a boy. Look at his boobies.
We need to have a talk.
Gentlemen, I'm afraid we are not making
a very good first impression.
At least I'm talking.
First new monster in years, we
couldn't get a wolf man or a mummy?
Just, you know,
somebody to play cards with.
Might we ask your name, madam?
Susan.
No, no, no. We mean your monster name.
Like, what do people scream
when they see you coming?
You know, like,
"Look out! Here comes!"
Susan.
Really?
Susan!
I just scared myself. That is scary.
Yes! Eat times.
That is repulsive!
An old slipper!
Oh, please, God,
tell me this isn't real.
Please tell me I had a nervous
breakdown at the wedding, and now I'm
in a mental hospital on medication
that's giving me hallucinations.
Don't scare Insectosaurus!
He's gonna pee himself,
then we'll all be in trouble.
Every room has a door!
There's gotta be a door here!
It's OK, buddy. Don't worry about it.
Who's a handsome bug, huh?
You like it when I rub your tummy?
Please! Somebody!
I don't belong here!
- Let me out!
- Hey, that is not a good idea.
Let me out!
Monsters, get back in your cells.
Oh, thank goodness. A real person.
You are a real person, right?
Not one of those
half-person, half-machine,
you know, whatever
you call those things.
- A cyborg?
- Oh, no! You're a cyborg?!
Madam, I assure you, I am not a cyborg.
The name is General W.R. Monger.
I'm in charge of this facility.
Now, follow me.
It is time for your orientation.
In 1950, it was decided that Jane and
Joe Public could not handle the truth
about monsters, and should focus on more
important things, like paying taxes.
So the government convinced the world
monsters were stuff of myth and legend
and then locked them in this facility.
But I'm not a monster!
I'm just a regular person.
I'm not a danger to anyone or anything.
Don't let her get me!
Sorry.
- How long will I be here?
- Indefinitely.
- Can I contact my parents?
- No.
- Derek?
- Negative.
- Do they know where I am?
- No, and they never will!
This place is an X file,
wrapped in a cover-up
and deep-fried in a paranoid conspiracy.
There will be zero contact
with the outside world.
...seven, eight...
...999...
...1,000.
I can't believe I did ten sets.
Susan!
You wouldn't happen to have
any uranium on you?
I just need a smidge.
Rescind Dr Cockroach's toy box
privileges immediately.
We had the prison psychologist
redecorate your cell.
Try to keep you all calm-like.
But I don't want a poster.
I want a real kitten hanging
from a real tree.
I want to go home.
Come on, little Debbie, please
don't cry. It makes my knees hurt.
Don't think of this as a prison.
Think of it as a hotel you never leave
because it's locked from the outside!
Oh, and one other thing.
The government has changed
your name to Ginormica.
Begin reanimation sequence.
Who dares to wake me?
Quantonium has been located on a
distant planet in the Omega Quadrant.
The Omega Quadrant? Lame.
The trajectory of the
Quantonium meteor
has been traced to sector 72-4,
the planet locally known as Earth.
What a miserable-looking mud ball.
Send a robot probe!
Extract the Quantonium
with extreme prejudice.
I want it all.
Every last drop!
Yes, Gallaxhar.
Nothing can stand in my way now.
Don't rush me, Katie!
I'm just not ready.
Relax, Cuthbert.
It's just like dancing. I'll lead.
Katie, I have a gymnastics
meet tomorrow. So maybe...
Did you open the top?
Thank goodness. It's the police.
- We weren't doing anything, officer!
- Yeah, nothing at all.
Jiminy!
Why did I even let you talk me into
this?! Maybe we should get out of here.
- Or, maybe, we should go check it out.
- Katie, are you nuts?!
Wait! Don't leave me alone!
No! My ankle!
I think it's broken!
Katie?
This is the worst date ever.
Katie, I'm frightened.
It was first spotted at midnight last
night by a couple in romantic embrace.
No one knows what it is
or where it came from.
All branches of the military
were immediately mobilised.
What is that, Henshaw?
OK.
I have just received word that
the president of the United States
has arrived and will
attempt to make first contact.
I must approach it alone.
This is all about
peaceful communication.
Yes, sir, Mr President.
Perimeter stable. Got a bead
on Papa Bear. All clear.
- Let's go!
- Get out of the way!
Set her down now. Here we go!
Commander, do something violent!
You heard the president! Light 'em up!
We're getting pummelled here! Call in
air support! Call in air support!
Call in... Call in a full retreat!
Full retreat! Full retreat, all troops!
- Wheels up. Papa Bear is on the move.
- Wait.
So that's how you want to play it?
Eat lead, alien robot!
- Evidently, they eat lead.
- Get him on the chopper.
I'm brave! I'm a brave president!
Get out of the way!
- Sir! We need to declare a...
- We need to overthrow that robot
- and install our own government!
- Let's sacrifice the elderly to it!
- I say we invade it!
- The Earth only has two weeks left!
If that thing walks into a populated
area there'll be a major catastrophe!
We need our top scientific minds
on this. Get India on the phone!
Can we transport the United States
to a safer planet?
Give this alien a green card and
make him proud to be an American.
It's at dire times like this when I stop
and ask myself, "What would Oprah do"?
Hang it all! What's the point?
It's a disaster.
- Stop! No!
- Don't do it!
That button launches
our nuclear missiles!
Well, which button gets me a latte?
That would be the other one, sir.
- What idiot designed this thing?
- You did, sir.
- Fair enough. Wilson, fire somebody!
- Yes, sir, Mr President.
Listen up. I'm not going
to go down in history
as the president who was in office
when the world came to an end,
so somebody think of something,
and think of it fast!
- That is a good cup ofjoe.
- Mr President?
Not only do I have an idea,
but I have a plan!
Now, conventional weapons
have no effect on this thing,
- and we know nukes ain't an option.
- Sure they are. I just...
- Don't do it! Stop!
- Wait!
I'm not gonna kid you, Mr President.
These are dark times.
The odds are against us. We need a Hail
Mary pass. We need raw power! We need...
...monsters.
Monsters! Of course! It's so simple!
I... I'm not following you.
Over the last 50 years, I have captured
monsters on the rampage,
and locked them up
in a secret prison facility.
So secret that the mere mention
of its name is a federal offence.
Is he referring to Area Fifty...
Mr President,
say hello to Insectosaurus!
Miss Ronson, please.
Nuclear radiation turned him
from a small grub
into a 350-foot-tall
monster that attacked Tokyo.
Here we have the Missing Link.
A 20,000-year-old frozen fish man
who was thawed out by scientists.
He escaped and went on a rampage
in his old watering hole.
This handsome fellow
is Dr Cockroach, PhD,
the most brilliant man in the world.
He invented a scientific machine
that would give humans
the cockroach's ability to survive.
Unfortunately, there was a side effect.
Now, we call this thing B.O.B.
Will someone get her out of here?!
Thank you.
A genetically altered tomato was
combined with a chemically altered
ranch-flavoured dessert topping
at a snack food plant.
The resulting goop
gained consciousness,
and became an
indestructible gelatinous mass.
And, our latest addition, Ginormica.
General, continue.
Her entire body radiates
with pure energy,
giving her enormous strength and size.
Sir, these monsters are our best
and only chance to defeat that robot.
Don't we already have
an alien problem, General?
I don't think we need
a monster problem, too.
You got a better idea, nerd?
OK. Stay where you are.
General, I propose we go forward
with your monsters-versus-aliens
idea... thingy.
Go fish.
Do you...
...have any...
...threes?
Yes. I do! How are you doing this?
- You're the luckiest guy I know.
- Luck ain't got nothin' to do with it.
What the? Hey!
They called me crazy,
but I'll show them. I'll show them all!
Doctor, I'd prefer you didn't do
your mad scientist laugh
while I'm hooked up to this machine.
You're right, Insecto.
You've let that quack experiment
on you for over a month.
I'm not a quack! I'm a mad scientist!
There is a difference.
Guys, what choice do I have? If he can
make me normal, or even six foot eight,
I can get out of here, get back
to the life I'm supposed to have.
- I should be in...
- Let me guess, Fresno?
Well, Fresno is just a stepping stone.
Next stop, Milwaukee.
- Then New York, then hopefully...
- Yeah, we know. Paris.
Throw the switch, Doctor,
but don't do the laugh.
Now you're going to feel
a slight pinch in the brain.
Sorry.
Susan!
Am I small again?
I'm afraid not, my dear.
In fact, you may actually
have grown a couple of feet.
That's OK, Doc.
We'll try again tomorrow.
You really don't get it, do you?
No monster has ever gotten out of here!
That's not true! The Invisible Man did.
No, he didn't. We just told you that
so you wouldn't get upset.
He died of a heart attack 25 years ago.
No!
Yeah... in that very chair.
He's still there.
You see what I'm saying? Nobody's
leaving. Nobody's ever getting out.
Good news, monsters! You're getting out!
Until today.
So let me get this straight, Monger.
You want us to fight an alien robot.
And, in exchange,
the president of these United States
authorised me to grant you
your freedom.
I can't believe it!
Soon, I'll be back in Derek's arms...
...or he'll be in mine.
I can't wait for spring break
back at Cocoa Beach, just
freaking everybody out.
And I'll go back to my lab
and finally finish my experiments.
No! That's me, B.O.B.
- Then I'll be a really giant lady.
- That's Susan, B.O.B.
Fine. Then I'll go back to Modesto
and be with Derek.
That's still Susan, B.O.B.
I think I, at least,
deserve a chance to be with Derek!
All right, let's go!
Everybody move in an orderly fashion!
This is an emergency!
We are evacuating the city!
Exact change is appreciated,
but not necessary!
Let's move out!
This is San Francisco!
This isn't far from my home!
Feel the wind on your antennae.
Isn't this wonderful?
I haven't been outside in 50 years.
It's amazing out here!
It's hotter than I remember.
Has the Earth gotten warmer?
That'd be great to know.
That would be a very convenient truth.
- Now that's a robot!
- It's huge.
Try not to damage it too much.
I might want to bring it
back to the farm!
No, no, no, wait! You didn't say
anything about it being huge!
Wait! No! Don't leave!
I think he sees us.
Hello! Hi! How you doing?
Welcome! We are here to destroy you!
I can't fight that thing.
I can't even... I've never...
I'm hyperventilating.
Does anybody have a giant paper bag?
Relax.
Old Link's got this under control.
Hide in the city, Susan.
You'll be safe there.
But stay away from the Tenderloin!
It's a little dicey!
Finally, some action.
I'm gonna turn that oversized tin can
into a really dented oversized tin can.
OK! Does anybody have
a 20 on Insectosaurus?
Wow!
Would you look at the size of that...
Foot!
I got him, you guys! I got...
Don't worry, I won't let go!
I'm wearing him down!
Please tell me he's slowing down!
Get to the city, Link.
I'll catch up with you as soon as I can.
Or maybe you'll have to
catch up with me.
Oh, no! No, no, no!
OK, OK. I got this.
Yep, that hurt.
Get in! I have a plan!
Hot dogs!
All right, Link, I'm going to pull up
alongside it! You get up in there,
get to its
central processing unit, and...
- Hey, guys, catch me!
- No!
Let's go, let's go! Keep it moving!
Hey! No honking!
Excuse me! Coming through!
On your right! No control!
Oh, no.
OK! It's going to be OK!
Look, I'm gonna get you out of there!
Hold on a second!
We have to get off the bridge before...
No, no, no! Get away from me!
Coming through! Watch it!
Hey, furball, where you been?
Yeah, I know.
Papa's a little out of shape.
Excuse me! He's trying to kill me!
Why is it doing that? Why would it...
Wow.
- Wow. You're doing great!
- I'm doing everything!
Not for long. Come on, you guys.
Let's take this thing down!
A deflector shield. Typical.
You can't crush a cockroach!
Right, right.
Here we go.
Insectosaurus!
Insectosaurus!
- B.O. B!
- What?
- Help me!
- Sorry.
- I was staring at this bird over there.
- Get these people off the bridge!
Got it.
No, B.O. B!
Move the dividers!
Oh, yeah, you're right. My bad.
Go, go, go, go!
Link!
Oh, I don't feel good.
OK. Susan, you can do this.
All right. Let's take this thing down.
Retrieval has failed.
Don't get upset.
It happens to everyone.
That lower life form thinks
she can steal my Quantonium?!
Send another probe at once!
Quantonium cannot
be retrieved via robot.
Carbon-based life form, locally known
as Susan, is now too strong.
Oh, you think because
you're all big and strong
and you can destroy my robot probe
that you're gonna send me
running and hiding?!
My days of running and hiding are over!
Computer, set a course to Earth.
I will retrieve the Quantonium myself,
even if I need to rip it out of her body
one cell at a time!
Careful, it's hot.
Three weeks ago, if you had asked me
to defeat a giant alien robot,
I'd have said, "No can do".
But I did it! Me!
I'm still buzzing.
Did you see how strong I was?! Probably
isn't a jar in this world I can't open.
You were positively heroic, my dear.
I especially loved how you
saved those people on the bridge.
It was a nice touch.
Wasn't she amazing, Link?
Yeah, she was great.
Really cool. Loved it.
Oh, poor Link.
After all that tough talk,
you were out-monstered by a girl.
- No wonder you're depressed.
- Hey, I'm not depressed. I'm tired.
Why are you tired?
You didn't do anything.
Well, I haven't been sleeping well.
I got sleep apnes... apnea.
Whatever. It's not fun.
So Link's a little rusty...
I mean, sleep deprived.
You'll be back
to your old self in no time.
And so will I.
What happened to the "there isn't
a jar in the world I can't open" stuff?
Wait. Did you find a jar
you couldn't open? Were pickles in it?
- Where's the giantjar of pickles?!
- What my associate is trying to say
is that we all think the new
Susan is the "cat's me-wow".
I'm sorry.
Thanks, you guys. That is so sweet,
but I have a normal life
waiting for me. You know?
So, tell me, exactly, how this normal
life thing works with you being giant.
I'm not gonna be a giant forever.
Derek won't rest
until we've found a cure for my...
...condition. We're a team.
We could all do with a Derek. Perhaps,
someday, we could make his acquaintance!
Really? You guys want to meet Derek?
First stop, Modesto!
Ginormica, I called your family
to let them know you were coming home.
Now, I also called the Modesto PD
and told them not to shoot at you.
Thanks, General.
OK, remember,
these people aren't used to seeing...
...anything like...
...you, or you...
...or you.
So just be, you know, cool.
Just be... you know...
Follow my lead.
Stop! That was an accident!
Don't destroy anything!
Susan?
- Susie Q!
- Mom? Daddy?
- Did they experiment on you?
- No, Mom. I'm fine.
It's OK. They're with me.
These are my new friends.
Oh, Derek! I missed you so much,
thinking that we'd
someday be together again!
It's the only thing that got me through
prison! I love you! I love this man!
No, B.O. B! That's my mother!
You're suffocating her!
Honey, are you all right?
- I taste ham.
- Sorry, Mom.
He's just a hugger.
Where's Derek?
He's at work, sweetie.
You know how he is about his career.
- We're not gonna celebrate without him!
- Susan!
What do I do
with all your little friends?
Just put out some snacks!
They'll eat anything!
Ambrosia!
How's it going?
Qu? pasa, girlfriend?
Way to cut up a rug, Insecto!
Who wants to go
for a swim with the Link?
Hi. I'm Benzoate-Ostylezene-Bicarbonate.
Or you can call me "B.O.B.",
whichever's easier.
Did I come on too strong? I'm sorry.
I'm a little rusty.
I've been in prison my whole life.
Why'd I mention prison?
I didn't mean to scare you.
I'm just going to go.
I feel so stupid.
All right, everyone, just stay calm.
Whatever you do, do not provoke them.
Anyone care for an Atomic Gin Fizz?
It's got quite a...
...kick.
Chlorine! Chlorine in my eyes!
- They're turning on us!
- Everyone run for your lives!
What are they running away from?
That's hilarious, Jim.
That's exactly the kind of
down-home country humour
I'm gonna miss when I'm in Fresno.
This is Derek Dietl,
signing off for the very last time.
- Good night, Modesto!
- Channel 172.
And cut.
Did you like that sign off?
Just made it up.
Oh, my goodness.
Wait, wait, wait! But, but!
Oh, Derek. You wouldn't
believe my last three weeks!
Thinking about you was
the only thing that kept me sane.
- Can't breathe! Ribs collapsing!
- Oh, my gosh! I'm so sorry!
Oh, my goodness. Is that better?
OK. OK.
I'm still kind of getting used to
my new strength.
Wow! You really are big!
Yeah, but I'm still me. I'm still
the same girl you fell in love with.
Except you did just destroy
the Golden Gate Bridge.
But that was the only way
I could stop that giant robot!
You ever think I could do
something like that?
No, I didn't. I can honestly say
it never, ever, ever, ever,
ever, ever, ever, ever,
ever, ever, ever occurred to me.
Look, I know this is a little weird.
OK, it's a lot weird,
but we'll figure it out.
I know that, together, we can find
a way to get me back to normal.
Susan, try and look at this
from my perspective.
I have an audience
that depends on me for news,
weather, sports
and heart-warming fluff pieces.
You expect me to put all that on hold
while you try to undo
this thing that happened to you?
That I had absolutely
nothing to do with?
Yes. That's exactly what I expect.
What about the life we always
talked about? Don't you still want that?
Of course. I just...
...don't see how
I can have that with you.
Derek, please, don't do this.
You have to face facts, Susan.
Don't crush me for saying this,
but I'm not looking to get married
and spend the rest of my life
in someone else's shadow.
And you're casting a pretty big shadow.
I'm sorry. It's over.
Good luck, Susan.
Wow! What a shindig!
Your parents really know
how to throw it down.
What? No, that was a great party,
one of the best I've been to
since I got out of prison.
I must have been at a different party,
'cause that's not
how I interpreted it at all.
I don't think your parents liked me, and
that JELL-O gave me a fake phone number.
Well, at least the garbage was free.
You know? I mean...
Ah, who are we kidding?
We could save every city on the planet,
and they'd still treat us the same way
they've always treated us...
...like monsters.
Right. Monsters.
Anyway, how is Derek?
Derek is a selfish jerk.
- No!
- Yes.
All that talk about "us".
"I'm so proud of us."
"Us just got a job in Fresno."
There's no "us".
There was only Derek. Why did I have to
get hit by a meteor to see that?
I was such an idiot!
Why did I ever think life with Derek
would be so great, anyway?
I mean, look at all the stuff
I've done without him.
Fighting an alien robot?
That was me, not him.
And that was amazing!
Meeting you guys? Amazing.
Dr Cockroach, you can crawl up walls
and build a supercomputer out of a
pizza box, two cans of hairspray, and...
- A paper clip!
- Amazing!
And you! You hardly need an
introduction. You're the Missing Link!
You personally carried
250 co-eds off of Cocoa Beach,
and still had strength
to fight off the National Guard!
And the Coast Guard
and, also, the lifeguard.
Amazing!
B.O. B! Who else could fall
from unimaginable heights
and end up without a single scratch?
- Link?
- You.
Amazing!
Good point, Insecto!
Susan, don't short-change yourself!
Oh, I'm not going to
short-change myself ever again!
- Testify!
- Yeah.
Oh, yes.
Susan!
Way to go, Insecto!
Insecto, look out!
Insectosaurus! No!
You're gonna make it.
It's going to be all right. Look at me.
Don't you close those eyes.
Don't you dare close those eyes.
You can't...
You must be terrified.
You wake up in a strange place,
wearing strange clothes,
imprisoned by a strange being
floating on a strange hovering device.
Strange, isn't it?
Hardly. It's not the first time.
Wow. You really get around.
To the extraction chamber!
Look. What is it that you want from me?
You have stolen what is rightfully mine!
I didn't steal anything from you.
Your enormous, grotesque body
contains Quantonium,
the most powerful substance
in the universe.
Did you really think
you could keep it from me?
That's what this is all about?
You destroyed San Francisco,
you terrified millions of people...
...you killed my friend,
just to get to me?
Silence!
Your voice is grating on my ear nubs.
It's a shame you won't be around to see
what the power of Quantonium
can do in the tentacles
of someone who knows how to use it!
I know how to use itjust fine!
Don't bother.
That force field is impenetrab...
What the Flagnard?!
That should stop your puny...
Computer, close door, hangar two!
Close door, hangar three!
Door, hangar four!
Close them all!
Computer, begin extraction!
Finally, I can rebuild my
civilisation on a new planet.
Any thoughts on where
I should set up shop?
Your planet, perhaps?
You keep your
slimy tentacles off my planet!
If you wanted to stop me,
you should have done it
when you possessed the Quantonium!
Now you're nothing.
There are innocent people
down there who didn't do anything!
There were innocent people on my
home planet before it was destroyed.
- I'm sorry your planet was destroyed.
- Oh, don't be.
I'm the one who destroyed it. Confused?
After I reveal my tale to you,
everything will become crystal clear.
Computer, initialise cloning machine.
Yes, Gallaxhar.
Many zentons ago,
when I was but a squidling,
I found out my parents were...
No child should ever
have to endure that!
So I went on the road with a giant...
And soon thereafter was married!
Things were going well,
until she wanted to...
And then I was all, "No way!", and she
was all, "Yes, way", and I was like...
But I've told you too much already!
Let the birth of my new planet,
now called...
..."Gallaxhar's Planet" begin!
Once again,
a UFO has landed in America,
the only country UFO's
ever seem to land in.
Excuse me. What's that, Henshaw?
Okey-dokey.
We now take you, live, to a transmission
from the alien spacecraft.
Humans of Earth, I have come in peace.
You need not fear me.
I mean you no harm.
However, it is important to note most of
you will not survive the next 24 hours.
And those who do survive will be
enslaved and experimented on.
You should in no way
take any of this personally.
It's just business. So just to recap:
I come in peace, I mean you no harm
and you all will die. Gallaxhar out.
OK, boys, set the terror level
at code brown
'cause I need to change my pants.
- What're we gonna do now, Doc?
- I...
I don't know.
I'll tell you what we're gonna do.
We're not gonna let Insecto die in vain.
We're gonna get up there, find Susan,
and we're gonna take that alien down!
All right, you got enough juice
in those jetpacks to get up there,
but not enough to make it home.
I'll come get you if I can.
If I don't, it means I'm dead. Or late.
I've been your warden
for close to 50 years.
That's no longer the case.
For what it's worth...
- That's rude. What did we do?
- No, B.O.B., that's not rude.
That's a sign of respect.
General, it's targeting us!
That's the idea, Lieutenant.
Hold your course.
Steady.
Steady.
Hard right! Hard right!
I can't shake it!
Hang on to your socks!
We're going for a ride!
That's why I always
wear a parachute, Lieutenant.
You can let go of me now, Lieutenant.
Who are you signalling?
We're right here.
Hey, zip it!
Clone!
- Hail Gallaxhar!
- No, not all of you. You, there.
How do I do this? Three back.
No, no, no, no. That guy next to you.
The one I'm pointing at!
You! The one...
You, clone! Yes! Good!
Take the prisoner to the incinerator.
She's useless to us now.
- Hail Gallaxhar.
- Hail me.
Wow. Ginormica ain't so...
"ginormic" anymore.
How are we supposed to get to her?
There's too many of them.
It's impossible.
I may not have a brain, gentlemen,
but I have an idea.
This is not going to work.
Halt!
I... Gallaxhar, command you
to hand over the prisoner this instant.
Clearly, you are defective
beyond repair.
Guards, take this defective clone
to the incinerator!
Well, what are you waiting for?
You and you!
- Seriously?
- Yes! Take the prisoner
and the defective clone
to the incinerator!
- Of course, sir.
- Here's a security pass, just in case.
- Would you like a gun?
- Yes, I would.
Hey, guys, look.
OK.
I can't believe you guys
came to save me. Thank you.
Don't mention it.
We monsters got to stick together.
But I'm not a monster anymore.
I'm just me.
My dear, no matter what your size,
you'll always be...
...nothing but a filthy,
carbon-based life form!
Hail Gallaxhar!
Hail Gallaxhar.
These disguises are the bomb!
That's it! Follow me.
- The only way to save the Earth...
- Hail Gallaxhar!
Hail Gallaxhar. The only way...
- Hail Gallaxhar!
- Hail Gallaxhar.
...to save the Earth
is to blow up this ship...
- Hail Gallaxhar!
- Hail Gallaxhar.
...before the invasion starts.
- How are we gonna do this?
We need to find the main power core.
Excuse me, could you direct us
to the main power core?
Gladly. It's right there,
above the extraction chamber.
Thank you very much. Hail Gallaxhar.
- Watch out!
- Look out, brainless!
Give me that thing!
A weapon like this needs to be
in the hands of someone responsible.
What?!
Hail Gallaxhar?
Monsters!
- Monsters.
- Monsters?!
Attention, all aliens!
Destroy all monsters!
You want some of this?!
Ninja!
You want to hurt my friends,
you'll have to go through me!
Oh, yeah.
Susan!
I can't believe we made it!
O... M... G.
Warning: Intruder.
You'll never figure out my colour code.
A hexadecimal colour code system.
This won't be but a moment.
Red, green, blue,
yellow, orange, baby blue,
purple, pink, mauve, gold,
brown, mocha, avocado, adobe gold!
Doc, come on, dance!
My top three Spongebob episodes are...
1.Algae's Always Greener
2.Have you seen this Snail?
3.Dunces and Dragons.
- - - Post Merge - - -
Personality not a fan of it...
Squidward in this clip is my reaction to this.
xSuperMario64x
love of my life 💙💜
You know personally I wasn't a fan of that movie. Maybe because of the way it progressed or maybe just the plot.
But I love the part when the president plays the keyboard. Axel F is where it's at.
- - - Post Merge - - -
Me whenever someone asks me to do chores xDDDD
B e t h a n y
I hate pears
I haven't seen it for so long, but yeah that was good
xSuperMario64x
love of my life 💙💜
Raskell your avatar terrifies me
I love it
I love it
Haskell
Saving for a username change KEK
xSuperMario64x
love of my life 💙💜
Haskell
Saving for a username change KEK
Totes
I don't.
xSuperMario64x
love of my life 💙💜
yall i gtg to bed it's 11pm and I refuse to stay up late again...
have some lemons
have some lemons
- Status
