Selling Insults

[calamitybot]

Send me one bell and I will insult/berate you, in the most genuine and detailed fashion possible.
FAQ
-This is trolling, and this is wrong
It is not trolling. Consider this freeform poetry/analysis and my criticism of others, for a simple fee
-Can you insult somebody for me?
Not unless that person sends me a bell.
-Why are you doing this?
I want to strengthen my analysis and writing skills. Also, I've got my eyes on a new mailbox.
-Why isn't this in the museum shop?
Those poor folks really don't need any more of me
ADD-ONS
-For an additional 1 bell, I can make the text of my insult sans
-For an additional 2 bells, I can make the text of my insult sans flavored
-For an additional 1 bell, I can compliment you.
-For an additional 100 bells, I can make you a painting of my insult towards you, and send you a digital image of said painting.
ORDER FORM
- Put bells sent here
- Put type of purchase here (regular 1 bell insult, sans, compliment, etc.)
- Put any additional requests here

Once I see a form has been posted, I will work with haste to complete your insult.

BONUS TIME BAYBEE!!!
The first poster gets to be honored in the original post for this thread, immortalized digitally as my sugar daddy/momma.
NEW USER TO THE BELL TREE FORUMS, SAIMAMI, HAS BEEN THE FIRST PURCHASER OF MY INSULTS!!! THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!! YOU WILL BE KNOWN AS A HERO IN MY TIME OF NEED!!!

 

[saimami]

alright. how do i send bells? i would like an insult, comic sans and sans flavored.

- - - Post Merge - - -

i figured out how to send bells, hold on. i'm sending over 4 bells right now

 

[calamitybot]

alright. how do i send bells? i would like an insult, comic sans and sans flavored.

- - - Post Merge - - -

i figured out how to send bells, hold on. i'm sending over 4 bells right now

Dear saimami,
I look down on you for spending your first hard-earned bells on this dumb thread. Didn't your school make you take any economics or finance classes? That is- if you're even a highschooler yet. Lol.
Thanks for the bells.

 

[saimami]

Dear saimami,
I look down on you for spending your first hard-earned bells on this dumb thread. Didn't your school make you take any economics or finance classes? That is- if you're even a highschooler yet. Lol.
Thanks for the bells.

i love it thank you kjfhghdjfhg
[also i know it was an insult but i already finished high school and we didnt do those classes lol]

 

[smonikkims]

- 1 bell
- Regular insult please
- This is a high quality service

x x x

 

[Late Night Thoughts]

This is great lol
1 bell sent.

 

[OctoLiam]

1 bell
BRING IT

 

[Kamzitty]

Sent 2 bells
Pls compliment me I am sensitive

 

[calamitybot]

- 1 bell
- Regular insult please
- This is a high quality service

x x x

Is that sarcasm, you saying this is a high quality service? If so, it's not clear and really pathetic. If it's not... thanks I guess? Also, why are you hiding your bells? Afraid of looking poor in front of everybody, judging by the amount of rare collectibles you have? Pathetic. I see through you.

This is great lol
1 bell sent.

I'm guessing you spend a lot of time on the internet, since most people who still use forums in 2018 are probably shut-ins. So, why's your profile picture so grainy? Still don't know how to properly compress images and still get a crystal clear image? Hah, that's laughable.

1 bell
BRING IT

You can hide behind caps lock and a vaguely confident "battlecry" all you want, but it's not gonna make me think you're some sorta tough guy, Liam. Anyways, it's a bit late. Didn't your mommy tell you no electronics after dark?

Sent 2 bells
Pls compliment me I am sensitive

You give off such, for lack of a better word, "kawaii" vibes. I'm being serious, cute doesn't express it enough. I can really appreciate the time you spend curating your visuals in your collectibles, signature, and profile picture, and I'm sure a lot of other people on the forums, (especially lazybones like me who aren't devoted to aesthetics) feel the same way.
Hope that was enough for you all! Shop's always open, just no guarantees on the speed or quality of the service!

 

[smonikkims]

Lmao ty very much. I didn't know I was hiding my bells xD

 

[Kamzitty]

Lmao that was great tysm!!

 

[Late Night Thoughts]

I'm guessing you spend a lot of time on the internet, since most people who still use forums in 2018 are probably shut-ins. So, why's your profile picture so grainy? Still don't know how to properly compress images and still get a crystal clear image? Hah, that's laughable.

I think I fixed it? It looks fine on my phone so oh well.

- - - Post Merge - - -

Ty anyway!

 

[Onyx]

This is hilarious and a tbt well spent, drag me, sis

 

[Hyrule_Crossing]

Hello! I would like an insult!

 

[SensaiGallade]

What has TBT devolved into

 

[Wildtown]

What has TBT devolved into

thats what im think

@calamitybot ill take an insult plz XD

 

[PunchyTheCat]

Give me a very high quality, long post insult.

paying 5 bells for the insult

 

[Geoni]

Nobody taken you up on the painting yet?