I don't want friends anymore. Is this weird?

[Twisterheart]

As I've gotten older, I don't really feel like having friends anymore. I don't mind getting together with someone every once and a while, but that's about as far as my desire to hang out with people goes. I just don't have anything in common with my current friends. We met when we were kids, so we've all changed a lot since then. It's just very awkward to hang out, because there is nothing to talk about and none of us can really relate to each other anymore.

I'm content not having friends though. I like my alone time, and as boring as this might sound, I would rather stay at home with my family than go out. There's just been so much going on in my life that I would rather focus on myself and getting my life in order than having fun. My grandma thinks this is weird though. Is it?

 

[debinoresu]

tbh idk if its the healthiest mindset but i do understand it sometimes. hanging out with friends sometimes just seems like more of a task than an enjoyment, like i have to work to keep up conversation when sometimes id rather just be kept to my thoughts and not say anything for a while. though admittedly there are times where i just click with my friends and have good mindless fun.

i dont think wanting to focus on yourself is bad. do what you want with your life, just if you start notice it being unhealthy for you, you should start looking into companionship again.

 

[Duzzel]

I'm going to be blunt and say that it is odd for you to not have much desire for socialization. But that doesn't reflect anything about you, rather what is considered "socially normal"

If you don't care to get out and socialize, then that's just the kind of person you are. Not everyone has the same capacity for social interaction and you may just be a case of extreme introversion. But I would recommend getting out and doing something in public maybe once a week, be it grocery shopping, taking a walk, or sitting in a coffee shop.

You may very well be a solitary person, but I hope you still have someone decently close to talk to every now and then.
And also beware of mental illness. Depression can manifest as a lack of desire for socialization.

Do what you feel is right for yourself, but be sure you're taking good care of yourself.

Best wishes ~

 

[LethalLulu]

I can understand where you're coming from, as my brother is like this. However, my brother gets along really well with my friends and me. I'd recommend you still try to have at least 1 or 2 close friends you can talk to for your own mental health.
If you think this will be a temporary thing, that's alright, too, given you'll try to socialize more when your life is in better order. I just don't think it's healthy to have absolutely no friends, no socialization outside of your family for an extended period of time.

I think you'll find friends without trying, though. Either through work, school, or online.

One question I have is, though, do you plan on being in a relationship?
Like for me, I consider my boyfriend my best friend, I am 100% comfortable with him and know I can be myself around him always. So I know even if I don't have friends, I'll still have him.

 

[Twisterheart]

tbh idk if its the healthiest mindset but i do understand it sometimes. hanging out with friends sometimes just seems like more of a task than an enjoyment, like i have to work to keep up conversation when sometimes id rather just be kept to my thoughts and not say anything for a while. though admittedly there are times where i just click with my friends and have good mindless fun.

i dont think wanting to focus on yourself is bad. do what you want with your life, just if you start notice it being unhealthy for you, you should start looking into companionship again.

That's exactly how I feel about keeping up with my friends. It feels more like a chore, not something that is fun. Trying to message them is so hard for me, because I just don't know what to say to them and they don't know what to say to me either.

 

[seliph]

Along with everything everyone's said here it also sounds like your current friends are just not a really good fit for you

 

[Duzzel]

That's exactly how I feel about keeping up with my friends. It feels more like a chore, not something that is fun. Trying to message them is so hard for me, because I just don't know what to say to them and they don't know what to say to me either.

That sounds eerily similar to depression.
Though it may just be your friends. I don't know what resources you have, but if your current friends are only there because you've known each other so long, you may be correct in assuming you've just grown into different people.
If possible, be a little more adventurous and try new things. You may meet a new person who you connect with more and find you'd like hanging out with them ~

 

[Twisterheart]

I'm going to be blunt and say that it is odd for you to not have much desire for socialization. But that doesn't reflect anything about you, rather what is considered "socially normal"

If you don't care to get out and socialize, then that's just the kind of person you are. Not everyone has the same capacity for social interaction and you may just be a case of extreme introversion. But I would recommend getting out and doing something in public maybe once a week, be it grocery shopping, taking a walk, or sitting in a coffee shop.

You may very well be a solitary person, but I hope you still have someone decently close to talk to every now and then.
And also beware of mental illness. Depression can manifest as a lack of desire for socialization.

Do what you feel is right for yourself, but be sure you're taking good care of yourself.

Best wishes ~

I don't go out every week, but every so often I go out with my grandma to get groceries or to go pick up dinner. And my dad and I have been spending time together, by going out and doing little activites. My aunt also drops by from time to time, so I spend time with her when she comes over and we're planning to get together at her house sometime.

- - - Post Merge - - -

I think you'll find friends without trying, though. Either through work, school, or online.
One question I have is, though, do you plan on being in a relationship?
Like for me, I consider my boyfriend my best friend, I am 100% comfortable with him and know I can be myself around him always. So I know even if I don't have friends, I'll still have him.

I'm not in a relationship right now but I would like to be in a relationship some day.

 

[LethalLulu]

I'm not in a relationship right now but I would like to be in a relationship some day.

Well that's a plus in your situation. After hearing that answer, I personally think that just giving yourself some time might not be a bad idea. Just keep an eye on yourself, and make sure your family is doing the same, as others have mentioned, it could lead to depression.

 

[MozzarellaSticks]

Sounds very indicative of a mood disorder. You're alienating yourself, and losing interest in things you used to enjoy doing. It's okay to be an introvert, but social interaction and intimacy is something we need as humans.

 

[Llust]

i get where you're coming from, but if there's anything i learned from trying to completely isolate myself for nearly a year, its that you cant be alone forever. there's nothing wrong with wanting some time alone, but going to that as a long term solution isn't the answer. it's nice to have some alone time, but forever? that doesn't sound fun. honestly i really hate people and i'm the last person you'd want to ask to go out with to a social event, but even so, it's nice being able to settle down and connect with people every once in awhile

 

[Svive]

Do what makes you happy but make sure that you're not isolating yourself to the point of negative affects on your emotional health! We seek out other people for a reason, some just don't seek them out as often, and there is nothing wrong with you or wrong with that .
If the isolation is coming from a place of sadness, then maybe it is cause to reach out to someone even though that is a hard thing to do at times.

Limiting your pool of friends as you get older is normal because we don't meet as many people as we get older, but don't push away those who truly care.

 

[Fleshy]

I don't think it's weird (as long as you're happy why care?), probably because I feel a similar way too, some people want to be surrounded by friends/people, other's don't, I really don't see why the latter isn't seen as normal? I guess my case is slightly different than just not wanting to hang out with friends though,

My dream is to be completely alone, as little social interaction as possible, preferably none. Not because I'm edgy and "hate people", or because I'm trying to be mean to anybody or anything (actually the opposite), not because I don't appreciate the people who love me (because I do, very much so) just because that's what I want. I've been the same way since I was young, and I've always been told that it's wrong, even by doctors/therapists and I just don't see at all why it's wrong? What makes social interaction a necessity for humans? because I don't at all feel like it is. I guess maybe feeling that way for me is a symptom of bpd and past stuff and I should work on it, so maybe you shouldn't listen to me but honestly idk


**However, I don't see a problem with not wanting to hang out with friends, especially if you've all drifted apart which is normal when people move from school to college or whatever, people change drastically during those times. Maybe you're just feeling that way because you don't get along with your current friends anymore and if you had friends with similar interests you might start to feel different? Maybe I'm being more than a little hypocritical but based on what you said it sounds more like "I'm unsatisfied with my current friends" than "I hate social interaction and don't want friends", and you mentioned your grandma, so you obviously have family? So even if you don't socialise with friends, you still get social interaction (which everyone seems to think is o-so important) At the end of the day, it's you're life, do what you want! If you currently do or start not feeling good due to being isolated, that probably means you do want friends, just not your current ones.

i blabbed waay too much and should probably delete over half of that but idc

 

[focus]

yeah i think you should check with your doctor. thats not something that should be considered normal in my honest opinion

 

[namiieco]

I have always been an introvert and I never liked going out with my friends or just going out in general. I still don't. I don't find enjoyment in anything that most other people would consider "amazing". I totally get you.

 

[treetops]

I know where you're coming from. It usually depends on my mood, but most of the time, I would rather stay home and spend a lot of my time alone rather than be with others. I've tried so hard to make friends with people countless times, but it has never ended well to the point where I am really used to the fact that I don't have any friends. My family always tell me to keep on trying, but I'm really afraid that when I do make friends with somebody, I would feel like I am clingy and annoying to them. Not just that, but there are also many things in my life that I need to fix since I'm too much of an emotional wreck. I know friends can help you out with that sort of stuff, but I quite honestly work better alone.

 

[Mr. Cat]

Me too, me too. People of the internet tell me this is unhealthy, but I've got autism, so isn't that more healthy for someone like me? I mean people just stress me out unless it's a very special type of person. I like getting together with people every now and then but anything more makes me feel like I'm going insane.

 

[Mints]

Maybe you should try finding new friends since your current ones don't seem like a good fit.
But, if you feel like you need some alone time once a while, by all means make some time for yourself. Having friends shouldn't be a job.

 

[Koden]

This could be a symptom of depression if you're simply uninterested in activities that you once really enjoyed, that is exactly what happened to me and believe me you will regret it. Even if you dont want to stay with close friends or have an, at least talk to people and dont isolate yourself, best of luck. If you're ever feeling sad you can always enjoy your villagers

 

[Solidus]

I get where you're coming from. Sometimes it seems like so many people disappoint you that it's like 'why bother?' so--- maybe you don't need a whole bunch of friends, but some quality friend time probably would do you some good. If you start feeling down more often than not, I'd check in with a therapist or a doctor about symptoms of depression.