How to get over phone call anxiety?

[Beachland]

Does anyone else have this problem? I have a LOT of trouble making phone calls. Answering them isn't too hard for me, because I don't get the feeling that I'm bothering somebody, and I feel more "in control". But when I have to call someone, besides close friends or family, I always think that they're going to be mad at me for interrupting them or something like that. I know it's ridiculous but I honestly feel sick to my stomach when I know I have to call a stranger (or acquaintance, even) and will put it off until the very last minute. I've even hung up before after the other person answered the phone because I felt like I was going to start crying out of fear.

 

[Amissapanda]

I had this problem. I still have this problem.

There is really no solid way to get over it, from what I've found. No matter what, you've just got to keep trying and just do it when you need to even if you're scared/worried.

I'll tell you a few of the things I tried in order to help me:

I found that it helps to write down what it is you want/need to say. When I get nervous, I tend to get words in a big jumble in my head and I'm terrified of sounding like an incompetent idiot to the person on the other line. But writing it down can help, as it gets the words straight in front of you and you're less likely to stumble over them. I've used this for hospital calls, repair calls, etc. There's still the "unknown" where they might ask you something you don't have the immediate answer to, but as long as you have the reason for calling straight in your head (and/or on the paper), you're mostly good to go.

If you need to, practice conversations with someone that you're comfortable with, too. (Friends/family, etc.) It can help to practice in an environment where you feel safe and not concerned about being judged. And practicing can help you familiarize yourself with it. I find this works better than like, talking to yourself in the mirror---because obviously the mirror isn't going to talk back.

Anyway, good luck! Phone talking phobias are very common, so you're not alone. A lot of people don't like to make them. But you'll find that sometimes in life, you just have to suck it up and do it. So I hope this helps you prepare yourself a little.

 

[effluo]

I'd like to second the above advice.
Writing things down helped me out a lot.

I had/have(it's getting better) major phone anxiety. I have issues answering too. I would hang up the phone if someone answered too because I would panic.
I found writing myself a script and having any info I might need written down and near me helped a lot.

For me.. Forcing myself to call when it was a phone call I absolutely had to make made it easier. Every time I hang up now I think to myself.. "That wasn't that bad or scary like I thought it would be."

It still takes me awhile to work up the courage but keeping notes made a huge difference for me.

 

[atonnoudjement]

Have someone close to you physically with you. Whenever I get anxious, even though I do not share phone call anxiety, it always helps to have a pet or my boyfriend there with me. Plan out what you are going to say beforehand, say it many times! Speak it with confidence!!

 

[Dustmop]

Have someone close to you physically with you. Whenever I get anxious, even though I do not share phone call anxiety, it always helps to have a pet or my boyfriend there with me. Plan out what you are going to say beforehand, say it many times! Speak it with confidence!!

Haha, that actually makes me more nervous! It's one thing if a stranger thinks I sound like an idiot, but if my boyfriend's there to witness it! Ohgod no, pls no. Haha.


Though I do want to echo the second half. Plan it out ahead of time, write it down if you gotta. It's always helped me out. =]

I've been doing my college courses strictly online since I started, because PTSD. And omg, I have so much trouble calling my school to ask questions and to verify that x paperwork made it through. I already know all of the ladies that answer the phone. They're all very polite and upbeat and friendly -- but I still freak out internally every time I have to call them again.


It's the same thing every time, I've gotta call the same lady every time. Deep breath. "Hello, this is ___ and I'm looking for ___."
And then when she finally gets on the phone, "Hi ___, I'm just checking in to make sure my transcripts made it there okay."


And it's not like she's going to bite. She's not going to poke fun over the phone. She's always very polite and helpful, like I said. But I'm still a nervous wreck about it until I actually do it.
Once I'm there and she's there and things are getting done, and my questions are being answered, and I know what to expect... it's like this sigh of relief and I can breathe easier.

 

[Mairen]

get a job as a receptionist where answering the phones/making calls is your job. no, I'm not joking ^__^ I had phone call anxiety myself, but ended up getting a job as a receptionist where phone calls were a daily business of mine and got over the fear after a few weeks. I know it's a bit of an extreme, but if you are super concerned about this anxiety of yours, you could try to cure it that way. worked for me!

 

[atonnoudjement]

Also, if youre calling to make an appointment or customer service, you will not make an impression on them. Theyre not focusing on how you say stuff, they can only pick up on tone of voice and body language. People won't judge you over the phone unless youre really rude, for the most part.

 

[mayorglitter]

I used to be very anxious about making phone calls, but now I've been relieved of it a little. I like to put the call on loud-speaker so I can be in a comfortable, hands-free position. I feel like having it up against my ear is very daunting for some reason and I feel more comfortable without being so close.

 

[starlark]

I have a different problem, though I completely relate. I just feel so awkward making a call, and it's so hard actually maintaining a call I can't have a proper call like you see in the movies, you know, cooking, hoovering, all that stuff while having a call. It just seems all so...complicated.
But hey, I'm a complex person

 

[Campy]

I found that it helps to write down what it is you want/need to say. When I get nervous, I tend to get words in a big jumble in my head and I'm terrified of sounding like an incompetent idiot to the person on the other line. But writing it down can help, as it gets the words straight in front of you and you're less likely to stumble over them. I've used this for hospital calls, repair calls, etc. There's still the "unknown" where they might ask you something you don't have the immediate answer to, but as long as you have the reason for calling straight in your head (and/or on the paper), you're mostly good to go.

The above advice has really helped me, too. I've had trouble with making and answering phonecalls for as long as I can remember, and I'm nearly 22 now. But when making phonecalls, it has really helped me to write down which things I want to make sure I say and ask.

Also, the more phonecalls you make, the more you'll see that they're never really as bad as you anticipate them to be. I can't remember the number of times I've told myself "Oh, was that it? That wasn't so bad!" after a phonecall.

As for worrying that the other person would get mad at you for interrupting them; have you ever had this happen to you? In general, people will understand that you can't possibly know what they're doing at the time you're calling them. Chances are large that you're calling them at a convenient time and, even if not, they wouldn't get mad over it. Would you get angry if someone called you while you were doing something? And more specifically, would you be angry with that person? Probably not.

 

[Lavandula]

Well think of it like this, if receiving phone calls is disrupting and aggravating to people, then cell phones wouldn't have become so popular. They've replaced a lot of landlines. There used to be a time when if you weren't home, they either had to wait, or left a message. So if your true concern is about interrupting someone's day in some way, consider what I've just mentioned.

Phone call anxiety in general if quite common, and you're certainly not alone.

 

[Ayaya]

Agreeing with Amissapanda here. And when it comes to feeling like you're bothering someone, keep in mind that they wouldn't answer your call if it bothered them, amd they'd probably say to you that they're busy if it is. Just remember to stay polite and that you're not doing anything wrong

 

[useyourdrill]

I have to make and receive phone calls all the time at work, so I just kinda have to suck it up and pretend it doesn't bother me. I tend to write down all the info I need to talk about or repeat the information to myself out loud a few times before making a call.
It really does get easier the more calls you make. And you never know, the person on the other end might feel the exact same way you do!

 

[Elise]

I used to feel like that until I got a job where I have to call a lot of people. The more often you do it, the less anxious you'll feel each time, so try to make as many calls as you can and don't shy away.