Finished first year at uni but still no friends AT ALL :( Need Help

[mattsoubala]

Not sure if this is the right place for talking about social relationships but I feel so alone . Now half way through summer as I scrolled through my Facebook newsfeed looking at other people's posts when I realized I currently no friends at all. I have made plenty of acquaintances during first year of uni in classes and societies but few- none of them kind of stick. I have a distant friend or two but that's it. Being an international student kind of sucks during first year because I have to adapt to my new environment and studies that kind of stuff, I thought I wouldn't be homesick but I was wrong, but by the end of the year my homesickness kind of fades away. I was diagnosed with Aspergers at Year 10ish and I already had trouble making friends in the past. Back at my high/middle school I had no friends, constantly being bullied back in the early years and the only person I had considered to be a really close friend at high/middle school abandons me during my first year of uni (coincidentally, we chose the same course at the same uni) and the really sad thing is the person(s) who I consider to be very close are my teacher(s) back in high/middle school, and we aren’t even that close!

I really try to blend in during my uni societies, I even attend one regularly but while people there are very friendly, they are just acquaintances, and that's it. Now as year 2 is gradually approaching I am starting to feel scared that I have to live another year of lacking a decent social life. I don't want to feel lonely, I just want to have a social life of a typical uni student, is that even hard to ask? I know that I have caused this problem but I can't feel that fate is trying to play me

 

[Stevey Queen]

Honestly the problem isn't going to fix itself. Your going to have throw yourself out there and start talking to strangers. Initiate conversation and try to find interests. Good place to do this is in the classroom while lectures aren't going on. You would get a whole semester to try and form a friendship

 

[_patrick]

Best place to make friends is classes and in the dorms, where you see the same people every day. It's tough to make that initial contact with a stranger, but once you do, you never have to do it with that person again. I found during my first year that once I made a few friends on my floor, and a few in some classes, it all gets easier from there. You begin to meet their friends, and while they may not end up being your friend, just knowing more people is a good start.

I especially recommend making friends with people in your dorm, it's nice to be able to just walk over to someone else's room and hang out. If you commute to school, focus on getting more friendly with people in clubs and societies.

 

[mattsoubala]

Thanks, but the problem is that there aren't be any classrooms. Once the lecture is over, it is over. People just get up and leave, I know I was late but I tried to initiate conversation but they never seem to stick

- - - Post Merge - - -

@_patrick, thanks for the reply. I really did try to, but I guess I had to work harder on that, I just want to know if there is any second chances during my second/third year because I am so sick and tired spending every night alone.

 

[_patrick]

@_patrick, thanks for the reply. I really did try to, but I guess I had to work harder on that, I just want to know if there is any second chances during my second/third year because I am so sick and tired spending every night alone.

I had a tough time meeting more than a few people myself. It doesn't get any tougher though as you go on, so don't worry about that. In fact, be ready for the beginning of the year, because the first week/weekend is when everyone is out and about at parties and gatherings looking for something to do and people to hang out with. Just take someone along with you and you'll probably be able to find more people like you, looking for friends.

 

[Freckles]

When I was in school, most kids would leave straight away after lectures and classes. And I somehow got stuck on the musical theater floor of my dorm (no offense meant to those who study it, but it's not for me...or my sleep schedule when people sing in the hall at 3 in the morning). Anyhow, I was able to meet lots of new people through extra curricular activities.

I'm a bit of an introvert so I don't like the small talk and awkward conversations that usually come with blossoming friendship. But if I were you, I'd look in to joining some clubs or non-school activities. It's a great way to find and meet people with similar interests who enjoy doing things outside of your studies. Check your commons or dining areas to look for flyers and posters to see if anything catches your eye. It's never too late to make new friends and there are probably plenty others out there who have the same jitters about their social life as you do!

 

[Brackets]

I've had the same problem making friends at the start of uni. I made friends with a few people on my course, and in my halls but not much else.
I'd recommend going out more, maybe join more societies. What are you interested in? There should hopefully be a club or society that suits you, and then you'll find people with similar interests.
Also, if you know someone who's going out with their group of friends, maybe ask if you could join? It takes bravery, but if people are nice they'll let you come along and then you can meet a whole new bunch of people. Thats what I did, I hardly knew this girl but was feeling so lonely I asked if I could tag along to the pub with her friends, and she said yes and now they're cool with me

 

[MisterEnigma]

The problem is, people want to get in and get out of their classes as soon as possible, it's not like high school where you're forced to be around each other all day and end up clinging to each other out of boredom. Unless you spend a lot of time on the grounds or have a dorm, you probably AREN'T going to make a whole lot of friends in University. You really do have to go out of your way to approach people and start a dialogue. Join some clubs where you can meet people with common interests.

I really try to blend in during my uni societies

There's your problem, you just said it yourself. You blend in. If you want friends, you have to reach out. Nobody's going to come to you, unless you plan on waiting for a while.

 

[Mariah]

I plan on making no friends whatsoever when I start university in a few weeks. None of the clubs at school interest me and I'm not social at all.

 

[Nkosazana]

This makes me scared for when I start uni in september ;_;

 

[AnnaCerise]

University is a great place! There are great clubs, organizations, social events, and tons of people to meet! All it takes is ONE friend to meet more great friends! Trust me, college is just more networking.

You WILL meet more people as time moves on! There are tons of other kids that don't live on campus and are in the same situation as you are. One of my best friends was a commuter when my other friend introduced him to us, and now he has tons of friends on and off campus.

And @Nkosazana: Don't be nervous! You will have so much fun, everyone is in the same situation as you are.

Hope all you current and soon to be college students enjoy it! It's your last bit of childhood, and as I'm about to start my senior year, I honestly want to hold every below 21 year old's face and scream "ENJOY YOUR CHILDHOOD."

 

[Alice]

I tried to make friends during my stay at university. In didn't, however. Made a few temporary ones, but no I really hung out with a consistent basis.

 

[Ichigo.]

my last year starts this fall and all of my close friends are the ones I made in high school lol I can't be bothered with talking to people in college. it's like someone else said, people want to get in and out of their classes as quick as possible. when I get to class, I leave my earbuds in until the instructor comes; it sends out a nice message. I mean, you could get there a little early and make some friends that way, but I've never made any close friends like that...just acquaintances.

but yeah, putting yourself out there is the best way. you can't really blend in and expect to make some connections.

 

[Reese]

I didn't make any friends during my year and a half stint at university. Horrible social anxiety. I struggled academically because of that + depression which is why I ended up dropping out. Almost two years later now and I still have no friends and no idea how to make them. Sorry I don't have advice to give, just know you're not alone.

 

[Nix]

Been in jr. college for 3 years now and haven't made 1 decent friend. It's not from lack of trying either. People are butts.​

 

[hanashi]

i plan to not do a lot in university; if i ever get there. im there to learn, not make friends.

however, as hard as it may appear you have to put yourself out there. im not good at it but just a simple question to somebody can initiate something. im sure you can make something work, best of luck.