alright so i've been following your thread for a while now & pretty much read all the pages, there's a lot of good advice here.
I've been in a similar situation although it was less severe I guess I could put it, he wanted to be honest with me and told me he might be getting distracted/catching feelings for a friend. More to it but I'll just leave it as a general summary. And my initial reaction was basically pure anger, cause our relationship had been going on for more than a year so you can imagine the jealousy or whatever you wanna call it.
I thought and said irrational and angry things, then I cut contact for about a month. Fought the urges to say anything.
He came back to me a month later, we had a clear and honest conversation, and as of now we are good friends. I do feel like I'm too forgiving sometimes but I felt like he gave me valid reasons to still want to talk to him and proved a lot as a friend with his actions that he truly was sorry for it.
Over that time though, I got to recollect my thoughts a lot. A post that I want to highlight that was posted a few pages back on this thread is that over time, it's going to be inevitable that at some point you're going to fancy someone else, think they're attractive or whatever, but what really matters is if you pursue or not, and if you can maturely handle it if you do something immature, which truly shows how much you respect your relationship. Basically, while I do think cheating is a deal breaker, in your case you recognized your mistake and now you know your limits with alcohol and stuff. You still went on with your relationship and he seemed to have forgiven you.
In his case, his response is unacceptable and should not be taken, it just seems like he doesn't care. but since it's so early on and this just happened, my honest opinion is that you should give it a few weeks to recollect your thoughts and think about if you do really want this relationship to continue, etc etc. but don't create a staged interview with a bunch of questions. Just let it come as a natural and honest conversation with a clear mind.
being honest though if you feel like you're in a position where you have to dig so deep just to get some answers out of him, just let it go. he's the one who messed up, he should be handling this in a mature way and giving straight answers if he actually cared to keep a long term relationship. relationships should be 50/50 in terms of effort, and if you're putting in like 90% just to get answers and he's just like "i dunno" then it might be time to just move on.
