A Glitch in The System


Senior Member
Jul 8, 2005
Old Eggs
Note to the Readers: This fanfic may contain scenes of excessive violence and suspence. Viewer discretion is advised.

A Glitch in The System

Day 1.
Control Center C-329
8:16 am.

The techie sat at his comp monitoring, just like he had for the past 20 years. Transmissions came and went. Ships docked and departed. It was all the same. But yet, it was not the same. His computer screen blinked. Suddenly it read that ships were being transported like messages. Messages docking and departing. His face screwed up. Then suddenly it made sense. A glitch! It made sense but made no sense at the same time. He rose from his seat and hurried towards the captain's deck. The Control Center rocked suddenly. He toppled over and crawled a little ways before getting up and running off. "Captain!" "What?!" "A Glitch! A glitch has entered The System!" "Impossible! Only machines can create glitches!" "But Sir! A glitch has entered the system! Look at your screen!!" The captain glanced at his comuter and grimaced. "Impossible." he muttered. "No sir, not impossible, improbable." The Control Center suddenly rocked again, and somewhere someone screamed. "Captain! We're under attack!" "I know that!" He initiated the defence grid just as something in the ship exploded. More screams. Then, silence. Explosions still rocked the ship, but noone moved, noone breathed. Every second seemed like an hour. Every minute a day. The captain suddenly yelled into his mic, "All hands to the life boats!" "Sir!" "No! Go! I will stay behind and face whatever this menace is!" "But sir!" "Go!" he yelled, pushing him towards the door. "But--" "GO!"

----Transmission Ended.
This is pretty good but some freindly advice.

No one has a space and instead of Every seconed seemed like an hour I would put every secoed felt like minute. Or seemed like. Beause you have minute in the next sentence.

Also I would put every mintute seemed(or felt) like an hour instead of every mintue a hour. It feels as though you are rushing it.

Still a great read

Day 2.
Delta Base, Terra
5:03 pm.

"Find out what happened out there. Or we could lose The System forever." "Yes Sir. But, one question. What are we up against?" "The Machines. They are highly dangerous. If you were to even come into contact with one it would kill you because of the high levels of voltage running through it." "So, in other words, dont touch 'em?" "Correct." "Alright. Delta Base out." He stood along with the rest of the pilots. "Well Joey, just like old times 'eh?" "Heck yeah. It's about time we had some excitement." "Well Joey, lets go." "Roger that Sam." They walked out to the hangar to inspect their ships. "Make sure you oil the cockpit hinges extra this time!" one man was yelling. They laughed as they climbed into their ships. "All systems are go Delta Base." "Roger that Phoenix." "All systems are go Delta Base." "Roger that Black Knight." They lifted off and zoomed off with the rest of their squad. Once in space they casually zoomed around, performing tests and practice manuevers. Suddenly an explosion appeared somewhere near one of the landing rings. "Delta Base this is Squadron C3-549, we have an explosion near Docking Ring DR-92." "Roger that Squad C3-549, investigate and engage if neccesary." "Ok boys, you heard him! Time to have some fun!" They headed for the explosion, being wary of anything that might happen. "Um...Wasp? Ive got multiple targets on my scanners." "Im reading them too Badger." "Wasp! Weve got multiple targets on our scanners. What is your status?" "This is Wasp Delta Base. We're reading multiple targets as well. Should we move to engage?" "Wasp, we gave you permission to engage if neccesary. So yes. engage!" "You heard him! Break formation and engage!"

----Transmission Ended.