A Few Words About Discord and the Community

[Oblivia]

I'm speaking to you all not as a site staff member or admin, but as a peer and fellow forum member. No one is obligated to read or respond to this, but these are things I feel I have to say and can only hope people will be open to hearing me.

For the most part, Discord has been a positive thing for our community. People who hadn't spoken prior to the channel's creation have had a chance to get to know and form friendships with one another, which is the primary thing I personally hoped would happen when we decided to go forward with it. It's been awesome to see people joking around and having fun talking together, and I think it's a good thing to have place away from the forum where things can generally be a bit more relaxed. No one wants to be all business all the time, and I definitely get that.

I do, however, have a favor I'd like to ask everyone here and anyone who visits our Discord channel, regardless of frequency. Please, if you hear a rumor about someone - ANYONE, don't repeat it publicly as though it's fact without first talking to the person(s) involved. No matter where the info came from or how trustworthy the source seems to be, unless it's been verified by the person being spoken about, it's better to take it with a grain of salt and keep it to yourself. This is how rumors start and spread, and more often than not they end up being blown up into something far greater or even completely different once they've worked their way through a network of people. Even if something seems innocent or like it wouldn't/shouldn't be a big deal, it can still hurt the person you're talking about even if no harm is meant when repeating what you've been told. Keep in mind that every member here is a real person sitting on the other side of the screen and no one likes being gossiped about.

As easy as it is to forget sometimes, we're all a part of the same community. If absolutely nothing else, we all have Animal Crossing in common and it's what brought us all here in the first place. I know it's sometimes easier to dwell on our differences than it is to embrace our similarities, but if anyone is willing, give it a try sometime this week. Reach out and be kind to someone who may seem different from you. Start a conversation with someone you've seen around but have never spoken to. Sometimes the smallest gesture can make a world of difference, and it's possible that you could be the most important person in someone's day simply by showing them a small token of kindness.

Sap factory aside, this forum means a lot to me, and I know it's special to many of you as well. For a lot of us, TBT is our place of repreive when we've had a rough day at work or school and just want a place to chill out and unwind. It's my hope that the site and all things associated with it can remain a (mostly) positive place for everyone to hang out, whether they're long-time members, staff, or people who just joined this week. This community belongs to all of us and we should all try to make it as nice a place as possible.

Thank you for reading.

 

[Bowie]

There is a kind of culture of cyber-bullying on TBT that has been going on for a very long time (years) and is very well-known, I think, to most regulars. It's part of why I myself don't really wish to be part of this community anymore. Why would I want to subject myself to that? Or more specifically endorse it by pretending it doesn't exist and keeping quiet about it? I can't pretend everything is all right when it's very clearly not, and I think it's only recently that even non-regulars are either seeing the cracks or are in the cracks. Until that changes, I don't think you can stand by it. The staff do an amazing job of trying to keep the peace, and I will always be so respectful of them and their efforts to maintain such a diverse, incredible community of people.

I won't say names, but I know users who aren't with us anymore who have been on the receiving end of bullying from pig-headed users here, and that has led to some very serious situations, and it's just incredibly sad to me. And it's even sadder to think how anybody could justify spending their time talking about other people behind their backs like that and gossiping about how much, among other things, they'd like to see them dead. It makes me sick.

I've had to comfort so many people over PMs after they've been ambushed in a thread or have come to me complaining about Discord messages they found, and it got to a point where I didn't want to continue treating this forum as a place of security for children and adults alike who come here to celebrate a common interest in a light-hearted video game series (which I find incredibly ironic at this point in time).

It goes without saying that it's disgusting and should be stopped, but I think it's important to actually point fingers sometimes, because years later, these same people are doing the same things and saying the same things. I don't care how long they've been here, point the finger, acknowledge the wrongdoings, and do it fast, before bad things happen. It's not my place as a member to do that, though. You all know who you are anyway, and besides anything else, you're not the important ones.

I've been a victim of cyber-bullying since I was very young, and that pressure and that stress led to me developing numerous mental health issues that I will have to live with for the rest of my life, that have led me to have suicidal thoughts and continue to, and it's thanks to people like that (not necessarily those people specifically, but people like them when I was younger) that I have these issues.

It's something that needs addressed and needs to change. Sweeping it under the rug and chuckling about it to your friends isn't going to stop the young kids that visit this site from blowing their brains out because you said something without thinking about whether it helps, whether it's thoughtful, whether it's kind, or how it's going to make the other person on the other side of that screen feel.

Maybe that's because you don't have any friends that wouldn't find it funny when you bully people. Sometimes when you're in a group like that, you feel pressured to act the same way as the bullies do, but you have to be better than that and to set an example to others. This is a video game community for crying out loud, it's not supposed to be a breeding ground for hostility and bullying, and I find it truly sickly that subject matters like this have to even be brought up on a site that poses itself as innocently as it does.

Grow up and acknowledge the impact that cyber-bullying has. Think about your output. Find a hobby. Talk to someone here and ask if they're okay. Make sure they know they can PM you if they ever feel alone or insecure. Don't give anyone the opportunity to believe they don't belong here. That's what this community needs in order to heal. It requires an effort on a larger scale, from all "classes" of users here. Get rid of the bias and the stigma.

We're all equal in every way besides our number of posts, our pixel collections, and our ability or inability to ban asshats. That's about it. What we are all certainly capable of is being thoughtful and conscious of our own words, and the impact that they have on the people around us. Don't let it be too late when or if you decide to start being nice.

 

[Alienfish]

Well posted, Oblivia and Bowie. For my part the more annoying thing is the clique-y atmosphere both here and on the forum and that "all people are equal but some are more cooler than others" or some teen philosophy. I mean if you want to bully, do it with love and with people that understand your sense of humor and that might be better suited for a private server.

and our ability or inability to ban asshats.

Yes so much this. I feel some incredibly serious cases have been taken care of, but some people basically ****post and can't take criticism and let em roam free. I mean maybe they are not being overly serious but not everyone can understand everyone's irony.

 

[dedenne]

Thanks for posting this... I really hope that people can actually be more mature, and just quit the bullying already!

 

[Elijo]

As a victim of cyber-bullying, it is a shame that this information isn't common sense to some people. We are all human with emotions and thoughts; not just some bots on a server.

 

[stalecxpcakes]

I haven't seen any of this firsthand, but it's incredibly disheartening to know that this sort of behavior has been routinely occurring for so long on a site that, for many, is supposedly a safe space. As a fairly long time user, I have grown to view tbt as a home as sorts and have met many wonderful people through its community, so it makes me not surprised but very disappointed to hear about the cyber-bullying and exclusive, clique-y behavior that's been going on. It isn't that difficult to be kind to others, and to be a decent person; why be cruel to others when you're just making it harder for yourself to fit in?

 

[zeoli]

I think one of the worst instances of cyber-bullying I've seen on this site is when you have an issue with someone and proceed to turn all the mutual friends you have with them, against them. Worse when those people follow like cattle and don't make their own opinions about that person. People make mistakes and it's human. It's really not okay when that person actually apologizes and tries to make up for their actions and in turn, you who has a problem with them still despite the apology, still proceeds to turn mutual friends against them.

I've seen it happen to others on here and it's also happened to me. It's one of the reasons that I'm not active on here because I'm too afraid to get close to anymore people on this site. I've made a few best friends for life on here that I communicate with off site through discord, but the majority of "friends" from this site I lost were due to the issue I mentioned.

I used to think of this site as my home but now I just lurk quietly to see what's new in TBT land.

 

[Rio_]

Oh geez...

I avoid a lot of the social aspects of TBT because of my anxiety, so I didn't know this kind of bullying was happening. I could tell there was some sort of tension just from reading threads, but I didn't know it ran this deep... It's honestly heartbreaking to hear about.

I really, really hope people will read through the posts above and take them into consideration. I know it's a bit too optimistic to think we can get rid of all the toxicity (this is the internet after all), but if this thread gets even just a few people to stop and re-evaluate how their words and actions are affecting others, that would go a long way.

 

[Alienfish]

I haven't seen any of this firsthand, but it's incredibly disheartening to know that this sort of behavior has been routinely occurring for so long on a site that, for many, is supposedly a safe space.

Yeah. As a daily pretty active user on the Discord I've sadly seen this teen clique behaviour quite first-hand and lots of people having their own "groups" within messages and stuff and just ignores others. And some being pretty childish (irony or not, irony is not universal and not everyone gets it). I mean yes I've opinions and if if you are being salty with irony you don't really show yourself in a good light and that you can handle stuff well. I'm not saying I'm an A+ child with some stuff either but, yeah you get my point.

Either throw that in the nearest trash can or create your own servers.

 

[~Unicorn~]

i've encountered cliques and bullying many times online. that's why i didn't join Discord, as those kinds of chatting things can get out of hand easily, and can be unsafe. especially for someone my age.

it's hard to believe a forum like this, with such an accepting and kind community and hard-working staff, has this kind of negativity going around. i imagined the Discord server would be as nice as the forum, with the same people there, but i guess not. well, people can easily be two-faced online (if that's what's happening).

hoping the community can change on Discord. everyone should stay safe and be included, just like on the forums. i haven't seen anything happen myself, though, so i can't say too much. i'm assuming a lot right now so i'll stop here.

 

[Alienfish]

i've encountered cliques and bullying many times online. that's why i didn't join Discord, as those kinds of chatting things can get out of hand easily, and can be unsafe. especially for someone my age.

it's hard to believe a forum like this, with such an accepting and kind community and hard-working staff, has this kind of negativity going around. i imagined the Discord server would be as nice as the forum, with the same people there, but i guess not. well, people can easily be two-faced online (if that's what's happening).

hoping the community can change on Discord. everyone should stay safe and be included, just like on the forums. i haven't seen anything happen myself, though, so i can't say too much. i'm assuming a lot right now so i'll stop here.

well discord is more clique than the forum itself since I guess not everyone are there as active as on here and therefore those group and cliques of friends go together on there instead since it's a smaller space. I mean there are probably worse discords but yeah I'd wish people would be more including sometimes.

 

[Corrie]

This isn't the case with everyone but I'm sure that being that this forum has a lot of teens and younger kids, I'm not surprised bullying like this happens. If it happens in school, it'll happen here too. That's not to say adults don't bully people too though.