Today on the internet, I have discovered a definitive tier list of all apple cultivars. The website claims that it is "100% accurate," and who am I to disagree? Based on this, I have started procuring a large quantity of the finest apples that money can buy. Nothing but the best for you.
I hope that when I gift you one of these apples, you'd be willing to tell us all a joke again, just like the good old days.